[FFML] [Cthulhu / Evangelion ] Partial COAEG Draft of 24

[Henry Cobb]

"Attack of the gerunds here," He said, while doing some other action
that by itself made clear the speaker as clearly as the quotes
indicated speech.

You don't need to push your verbs off to the side.

Look at what the simple video chat could have added to the flavor of
the story.  Is the picture clear as day, or jittery from too much
encryption over improvised lines?

Does she talk openly to a massive viewscreen, where anybody could
listen in?  If so perhaps a glance to the side could reassure her that
nobody was there.  Or does she use a wired headset, with even
bluetooth  considered too risky?

-HJC