[FFML] [OZ] Faces of Oz

[John Biles]

Thanks for the feedback, Henry.

And good points about the narration.  Will work on that.

And yeah, it did end up with them as four antagonists.  ^^;;



On Sat, Oct 3, 2009 at 4:50 PM, Henry Cobb <henry.cobb at gmail.com> wrote:

> On Sat, Oct 3, 2009 at 12:20 PM, John Biles <john at biles.us> wrote:
> > Author's Foreword:
> >
> >    This is the same scenario with four different protagonists, so each
> > section is basically it's own short story.  It is an experiment in
> showing
> > how the same basic plot can change depending on who the protagonist is.
>
> Seems more like antagonists to me.
>
> I think you are ruining a bit with more telling than showing.  It
> reads like a lecture on the properties of potato people at times.
>
> Say your narrator is a tomato, things that are normal for tomatoes
> will only be of note when something un-tomato-ey shows up.
>
> In this case unblinking eyes would be of no note at all, but people
> who can close their eyes or instantly change their expressions should
> be quite notable.
>
> I like being a reader who is nodding along with somebody's biases,
> until I stop to think about exactly what they are saying and then it's
> most strange as I move from agreement back to my own reference frame.
>
> -HJC
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