[FFML] [Exalted]The Broken Circle Prologue

[DB Sommer]

Been a while since we've heard from you. Let's see what's up. Not 
familiar with Exalted, BTW

miashara at deepfriedpuppies.com wrote:

>Prologue
>
>
>In the Forbidden City of Jaggerfall, upon a tower of glass and onyx I  
>sat to plot revenge. Ever since Ash Maiden had died, I had haunted the  
>black metropolis, watching the prismatic arrangement of lights pour  
>down through empty turrets to the silent streets. Meditating on the  
>koans to control the seething anger had failed me finally, forcing me  
>to violent physical exertion in the forms until my arms felt like lead  
>and my technique had degraded to sloppy movements my sensei would have  
>beaten me for, were he still alive. Still I had continued from dawn  
>and through to the next night, practicing the first movements. While  
>peace proved elusive, clarity came to me in time through the direct,  
>linear motions that predicated mastery and I realized that seeking to  
>understand was impossible. The murder was inscrutable as a koan, but  
>possessed no interior hidden meaning. It was simply a motive to do  
>what must be done. Reconciling myself to revenge, I concluded that I  
>must figure out the perfect way to do so, Then exhaustion overcame me,  
>and I rested while my mind took up effort where my body stopped.
>  
>

% First person POV works for this, dispensing enough information to 
catch the reader's eye

>Willows grew in the river valley outside Jaggerfall's unbroken walls,  
>crested like boiling clouds so thick they obscured the wet marshland.  
>Walls and towers stood above the white fog giving the city the  
>appearance of floating in the sky. On the highest tower I was deep in  
>the sky, alone with stars and comets. It was fitting. Mars stood in  
>the house of the Crow as it had when I was born. That to 
>

% too

>was fitting.  
>Mars meant war, and the Crow meant death. Bad death, of the kind that  
>left vengeful ghosts, followed in the shadow of the Crow. But now I  
>was unsure if it stood for what had already occurred, or what would  
>come after.
>  
>

% Omens usually mean whatever you think they mean. :)

>
>He was a big man whose eyes were on level with the top of my head.  
>Instead of having a neck, his head was the fugitive victim of his  
>hungry shoulders, who were attempting to envelope it completely.
>

% Sounds like a guy from the old neighborhood, Guido 'No Neck'.

>As always, Brilliant Void struck every vulnerable point necessary to  
>leave me gasping on the ground. Without even raising his fists, he  
>left me beaten as he departed into the gloom of the stairs.
>  
>

% interesting way to open things up and sets the stage at least a bit. 
I'll try to get to the next part soon.

DB Sommer

>
>End Prologue
>
>C&C is appreciated. Thank you.
>
>
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