[FFML] [Fanfic][Tenchi]Sketches of Tenchi 14: Secret of the Forbidden Planet!

[DB Sommer]

Son of a gun. I forgot I was saving this one to review. Better late than 
never.


Bert Miller wrote:
> Sketches of Tenchi 14:  Secret of the Forbidden Planet!
>     A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE fanfic
>
>   

> - - - - - - - - - -
> At an undisclosed location, a shadowy, rotund figure twirled its
> moustache.  "Nyah-hah-hah!  Only a few steps left.  Then I'll have
> a fait accompli.  A casus belli.  Invasion will be inevitable.
> And all those untapped deposits of pure dilithium crystals will be
> mine!"
>
> "Sir..." Another shadowy figure hesitantly spoke up.
>
> "What is it, Addbi?"
>
> "Legally, those deposits will belong to the new government.  We'll
> have unlimited extraction rights, of course, for which we'll pay
> the government a nominal fee."
>
> "Don't bother me with such trivial distinctions!"
>
> "Sorry, sir."
>   

Flunkies have been executed for less than that.

> Athena blinked, thought a moment, then slowly nodded agreement.
> "And you are?"
>
> "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm nobody,

% Dr. Noah Body, to be specific. Arch foe to one of the early cartoon 
versions of Spider man. Invisibility is my power, don't you know?


> will be making three more stops before we arrive at Forbidden
> Planet 0315, 'Earth', where the 'Primitive Music on the Forbidden
> Planet' festival will be held.  Are you all looking forward to
> it?"
>
> Throughout the ship, a few tens of thousands of throats yelled
>   

% Very nice intro to the chapter.

> "Yes!".
>
> - - - - - - - - - -
> "Great news!"  The door burst open as brigade leader Haruhi
> Suzumiya marched in triumphantly.
>   

% Oh... my. She is going to have fun. Not as much as if she died and 
became a part of Gantz (one day I will comission someone to do that 
artwork), but she should still have some semblence of amusement from this.

>
> "We're going to a music festival down in the Okayama area this
> weekend!  And we're not just attending; we're going to perform!

% Haruhi: It's a piece called, 'The Harassment of Kyon' and guess who 
gets to do the visuals.

> "..partly alien descent?" I mouthed to myself.
>   

% Come on, he should understand the concept of half-breeds.

> I boggled.
>   

% Do people 'boggle'. I was thinking parts of the body such as the mind 
or eyes boggled.

> "It's the lure of the forbidden," Teruzi pointed out.  "The Prime
> Directive is so seldom enforced, it's practically a joke.  So
> music fans get to enjoy the frisson of breaking the law with
> little fear of punishment."
>   

% Had to look frisson up. Appropriate, I guess

> "Check the histories," Shiria replied.  "Enforcement of the Prime
> Directive on THIS planet is NOT a joke, for some reason.  During
> much of Kagato's rampage, Jurai interdicted this system with
> second-generation treeships whenever he was in this arm of the
> galaxy."
>
> "You're kidding," Pikko blinked.  "They wasted treeships on a
> duty like that?  Why?"
>   

% Pikko never had Kagato play with him, i see.

>
> "Teruzi, I know you can't read Washuu, Sasami, or Alielle.  Have
> you tried the newcomers?  Eclair or Lumiere?  We know they predate
> our oldest historical records, and they seem close to Sasami.
> They may know."
>   

% Hmm. While I recall the duo being old, I really didn't get the sense 
from the series they were *that* old.

> Teruzi nodded.  "I can get in, although I think Lumiere noticed
> me.  Eclair didn't.  But they both have an awful lot of memories,
>   

% And so many of them involved lesbian sex even my mind is boggled.

> - - - - - - - - - -
> Kei and Yuri were lounging in the floating bath, chugging beer and
> complaining about their lives, when a yellow meter-wide sphere,
> complete with a black silk top-hat, a handlebar moustache, tiny
> feet, and pipe-cleaner arms, suddenly appeared into mid-air
> directly above them and promptly fell into the water with a splash.
>   

% Ooooh. A ninja master. Good for him. At least it sounds like the guy 
from Shinobuden

> "He's building a HIDEOUS device!  A big black cloud which can
> destroy whole planets!"
>
> "Indeed.  Isn't he supposed to be very uneducated?" asked Noike,
>   

% It doesn't matter if he's educated. What matters is if he hires 
educated people to do the work for him.



> "And he has another hidden program, even more secret, to build
> a lethal flower!  A death flower!  Dropping just one seed on a
> planet could kill the entire population!"
>   

% And the best part is, who would ever suspect a flower? :)

> "Oh, right," Tenchi muttered sheepishly, scratching the back of
> his head.  "But you guys fixed that, rolled back the entire
> timeline."
>   

% Which begets the question, did they wipe out that timeline, or simply 
shear it off into an alternate universe?  And does wiping out everything 
else constitute the killing of a future?

% Oh, wait, this isn't serious. :)



> "That would undoubtedly be the vicious, unprovoked attack on Jurai
> by the notorious space pirate Ryouko seven hundred years ago,"
> Aeka offered, with a quick smirk at the person sitting next to her.
> "That event did more damage to Jurai than any attack in many
> millenia."
>
> "What if I told you that Sadbi was the one really behind that
> attack?" Chalbi asked cunningly, rubbing his hands together.
>   

% Ryouko snuck out of the room, fast.

% Well, you have to admit, it would be a nice swerve. :)

>
> Tenchi scratched his chin.  There seemed to be a hole in that
> logic somewhere.  "So you just want protection, right?  Against
> Sadbi's assassins?"
>
> "Sadbi's rule must be ended!  Some brave hero must be found to
> lead an invasion to overthrow this ruthless dictator!" Chalbi
> noted thoughtfully.  "Do you happen to know where I could find a
> fearless, brave, prince of a leading, powerful galactic state?
>   

% Tenchi: Vanth Dreadstar. He's helped overthrow *intergalactic* 
governments on more than one occasion, and when it couldn't be 
destroyed, he helped destroy the entire galaxy. He's also good at farming.


> "Here we are!" Haruhi announced triumphantly.  "The boys' tent
> goes right here," she said, outlining a particular spot with one
> foot, "and the girls' tent goes exactly two feet over.  Kyon,
> get to work setting up the tents.  Mikuru and I are going down
> to the lake."
>   

% Hmm. Skinny dipping Haruhi and Mikuru. I'm sure there's many a doujin 
involving it.


> As Koizumi, Nagato, and I set up the tents, a few small, green
> clouds drifted over our proposed campsite, just ten or twenty
> feet above us.  Nagato looked up and observed, "Many Zitherians
> are fond of music."
>   

% And bologna. It's a little known fact.

% And darn you for not giving me actually grammar mistakes to look at.


> Koizumi smiled.  "She's thinking that the last time, she and
> Nagato scanned the sheet music, practiced for an hour, and rocked
> the whole school."
>
> "And she thinks you and I can match that?" I asked, my voice
> rising in my agitation.
>   

% Koizumi: Well, you are the one whom reality reshapes itself around.

> "Fortunately one of my colleagues is a very good bass guitar
> player, and I was able to arrange to meet him and copy his skills
> on short notice.  I should be fine," Koizumi replied, tapping the
> temple of his head with a finger.  "And Asahina needs only a sense
> of rhythm, which she has.

% Sort of like a Fly Girl.



> At some unspoken signal, Sasami spoke up, smiling at Tenchi and
> fluttering her eyelids.  "Well, once a person acquires that much
> power, it doesn't always go away if the person dies.  Sometimes
> the power can live on and even be assumed by another person.
> So we kind of made a practice, in the past..." here Sasami began
> pushing the tips of her index fingers back and forth nervously.
> "...of burying the remains of such Powers here on Earth."
>   

% There are pros and con to that. It's easier to watch everything in one 
place. It's bad if one thing actually gets a hold of all of them at once.


> "People who assume these buried Powers also assume certain dormant
> reflexes and instincts which the original possessor of the power
> had; think of it like the martial arts muscle memory with which
> you're familiar.  These reflexes, if triggered, say by the
> perception of a sudden, imminent, overwhelming threat (such as
> might be posed by the perception of an alien invasion), might
> overwhelm the Bearer's normal personality.  A fragment of the
> original Bearer's personality takes over, you might say.  One
> which knows exactly how to wield the full scope of their Power."
>   

% Actually I can't imagine 'impending alien invasion' being all that 
much worse than 'The impending tusnami that's coming to drown my whole 
village' when it comes to activating their powers.

> "At home, of course, hundreds of kilometers-" Washuu was typing
> into her holographic laptop as she spoke, and stopped abruptly,
> her eyes widening.  With a sheepish grin, she resumed, "I mean,
> about four hundred meters from here.  Apparently she's here for
> the festival."
>   

% Heh. Very nice way of tying into Haruhi, BTW

> "What can we do?  We're about to enter the forbidden solar system,
> without a pilot!"  One of the stewardesses squealed.
>
> The purser grimaced.  "Can we rig the autopilot AI for a spoken
> interface?  Advice only?  With that, an underqualified pilot could
> maybe do the job."
>
> "I think so."  One of the technicians nodded.
>   

% Hah! Grammar. I wouldn't have a phrase followed by a nod in this case. 
It really parses badly. I recommend one or the other


> Somehow Haruhi managed to pay no attention to a small grove of
> blue-grey trees creaking in harmony as we passed.  Asahina, I
> noticed, waved cheerily at one of the trees; one branch dipped
> a bit in confused reply.
>
> "Oh, right; as far as it's concerned, we haven't met yet," I heard
> her murmur to herself.
>   

% Heheheh.

> "I canna hold it together, Captain," a older male voice came
> through clearly. 

% Heh. Cute


> "An accident has occurred to an interstellar passenger liner with
> thirty thousand music fans aboard," Nagato explained further.
>
> "I'm not allowed to talk about it," Asahina cheerfully added.
>   

% Hehehehe. Very nice, making Asahina's presence felt with little bits 
here and there

> "It did look like it might have hurt a bit, though," Alielle
> murmured, uncharacteristically subdued.
>
> "The question is whether he managed to saved

% save

>
> "Let's see," Washuu muttered to herself.  "The fractional Mugen
> bearer is still in orbit, just watching, and may have been trying
> to help anyway. 

% Not sure of that one off the top of my head.


>  The fractional D.I.O.S. power and awareness seems
> to have subsided back to normal within its bearer. 

% Utena, or a different Dios?


> - - - - - - - - - -
> "Curses!  Foiled again!"
>   

% But I get Moose and squirrel next time. :)

% Excellent work, as always. Sorry it took so long for me to get to it.

DB Sommer
> A