[FFML] [Mai Hime, Future] The Summer of Her Discontent 3 -- The Fire That Purifies the Night

[Bert Miller]

Another absorbing installment!

(And fewer errors to find, too!)

John Biles wrote:
> The Summer of Her Discontent:
>     The Fire Which Purifies The Night
>
> stopwatch and start us, we could hear the deep voice of Tech Lord chanting,
> "Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth!" and waving his hands over the lightboard, with
> Gin staring at him as if he was insane.
>   
Heh.

> future job will be superheroine.  I can see why Mom's in consulting.  It
> means she can just take the afternoon and go blow up a factory or kill
> monsters if she has to.
>   
Poor Crystal will be so disappointed when she finds her mother hasn't 
been up to very much of
that at all.  These fantasies of Crystal are amusing, though.

>     "Mommy lets us ride her like a giant robot, but she can't transform,"
> Katsuhito informed them.
Heh.  Shows what he knows!

>     Looking at my parents and Hayao's, they didn't look like classmates; his
> parents had aged normally.  I could see Hayao's father could tell too and
> was surprised, but his mother either didn't notice or didn't care.
>   
My guess is "neither"; she already knew (but may care).  She may not 
have seen Akane since graduation, but she may have seen Mai at the 
reunion two years ago, and/or have heard through the grapevine.

(Hmm... now just suppose Miya, Yayoi, and Sayuri were told, at some 
point, that what "Kiyohime" was
looking for at Primus Research was a newly-discovered treatment for 
longevity?  What might they
conclude?)

>     "Yeah," I told him.  "Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend Koyabishi Sanae.
> Sanae, this is my mom Midori and my Dad Sasaki."
>   
Now "Sasaki" is his father's given name, instead of family name?  
Suggest "and my Data, Professor Sasaki."

>     "Nice to meet you," she said, shaking their hands.  "Mom said she liked
> you as a teacher, Midori-sensei."  She smiled brightly.
>   
I know you've been working on forms of address, but I'd think that one 
should be "Sugiura-sensei" at this point, until Midori invites her to 
use "Midori".

>     Sanae and I both tower over Mom and Dad.  I'm 184 cm tall and Sanae is
> just a tiny touch shorter than me.  I'm taller even than Uncle Reito.  Mom
> is only 157 and Dad is 168.  None of us are sure how I ended up so tall.
> Sanae's taller than her parents too.
>   
Wow; even taller than her mother?

>     "Midori and I are both historians and archaeologists," Dad said.  "So
> we're very proud of Dan's historical skills."
>   
I'd think Professor Sasaki wouldn't be introducing the two of them as 
double-professioned like that to strangers, even if he thinks of them 
that way privately.  I'd think most academics would find that fairly 
presumptuous, unless they both actually have double doctorates, so he'd 
have learned to tone it down around strangers.  Suggest "I'm an 
archaeologist and Midori is an historian", or possibly a hybrid 
discipline:  "are both historical archaeologists".

> Hayao's Tale:
>
>     I had a sudden feeling of doom and couldn't figure out why.  I've felt a
> little weird ever since about two weeks ago when I had this hideous
> nightmare about being buried alive.
Oh, NOW I get it.  Hayao had that nightmare when Kasumi became a Hime; 
Sanae got the nightmare
when Dan heard the Namcub whispering to him.  Being "buried alive" is 
the fate that awaits if their
associated Hime are defeated.

> and Kasumi here.  The back of my left hand was itching like crazy, which
> didn't help either.  I have a birthmark there that vaguely resembles a crab
> and when I get tense, it tends to itch or ache.
>   
Heh.  The crab detects something.  Not Hime-ness, probably, of it would 
itch whenever he's around Kasumi.

>     She knows my mother.  SHE KNOWS MY MOTHER.  It's a good thing I don't
> carry a knife or I think I would have killed myself.
>   
Heh.  He tried to pick up a woman two years younger than his mother.

>     The tall blonde said defensively, "I am an intellectual; my time is
> spent developing my powerful brain."
>   
"I contribute to the team with my brains and good looks!"  -Nene Romanova

>     "Sanae, Mandi, and I were all born thanks to some stuff made by Curie
> Pharmaceuticals.  I won't pretend I know the full details," I told her.
Bingo!  So "Curie Pharmaceuticals" has been experimenting.  Could this 
be a new name for the
pharmaceuticals firm associated with First District in the series?

>     At least I don't have to put up with Crystal's parents, who I expect
> probably ARE made of pure evil, though Mom seems to have fond memories of
> them.
>   
This confused me.  Presumably Hayao is simply attributing Crystal's 
present attitude towards him
backwards onto her parents?  Has he ever actually met them?

>     "You're so cute when you mope," Aoi-Mom said cheerfully.
>   
>     I folded my arms across my chest and tried to pretend they didn't
> exist.  This is hard to do when you are being hugged.
>
>     "So mopey," Chie-Mom said cheerfully.
>   
Heh.  Nice dialog.

>     "Aunt Chie said you're pouting over a boy," Natasha said.
>
>     Why is there never a monster attack when you need one?
>   
Heh.

>    With Akane and I having changed our minds, we have a large majority for
> revelation at this point.
Thank you!

>     "Honorable mentions go to Hayashi Katsuo of Tokugawa Memorial for his
> portrayal of Robert Barker in Sad Dracula in Snow, Yamamoto Fred of Osaka
> Science  Academy for his portrayal of Romeo in Romeo and Juliet, and
> Takahashi Masaki for his portrayal of Timon of Athens in Timon of Athens,"
> Dr. Kunakada said.
>   
Lots of Western plays:  Shakespeare & Aristophanes.  I'd have thought 
the one-act format would
have been favorable to some of the traditional Japanese theater: Noh or 
Kabuki or Bunraku (but not,
obviously, using the puppets).  Might want to consider shifting one or 
two plays to "The 47 Ronin"
or "The Love Suicides at Sonezaki".  It's not that easy cutting most of 
Shakespeare to under an
hour's duration.

>     Aunt Aoi and Aunt Chie now jumped for some reason.  I don't know why,
> though I had another burst of itching myself.
>   
Heh.

> Chie's Tale:
>
>     Aoi and I had felt the prickly feeling of magic being active several
> times during the award ceremony, then wink out,
(smirk) Confirmation.

> everything else.  This was a perfect night and I felt sure nothing could go
> wrong.
>   
Uh-oh.

>     Curiosity ON.  I pushed deeper into the woods to see what was going
> down; to my surprise, what I found was four black serpents of the kind that
> tried to kill us at Fuuka having a throwdown with a silver colored creature
> which resembled a humanoid mushroom.  (Think a seven foot tall mushroom with
> arms and legs and holes vaguely resembling eyes, a nose and a mouth under
> the cap.)  Three of them had grappled it and were crushing it to death.  The
> fourth was looking around, clearly keeping watch.
>   
Ah, this is (part of) what you meant by "there's more going on here" in 
your response to my C&C on part 2:
factions among orphans.

I loved your characterization of Natasha in this scene, btw.

>     No, no, I can't panic now.  Natasha needs me to be focused.  How could I
> ever ask to be a battle princess if I shit myself just trying to figure out
> who to send as a runner?
>   
True.  Not a very impressive showing for a presumptive leader.  Mai was 
much more decisive at this
age, at least when it counted.

> Aoi's Tale:
>
> middling in height with brown hair.  Where the Principal and Vice-Principal
> both look rather young for their jobs,
Possibly indicative...

>     "Yeah, it feels pretty good," the Vice-Principal said.  "I did softball
> and basketball and we did pretty well."
>   
Softball and basketball, huh?  Yes, those fit too.

> Natasha's Tale:
>
> growing, except at its edges.  I think it may once have been some sort of
> sacred rock as it has the weather-worn remains of Chinese characters on it,
> and the very top of it has an engraving of someone I think is supposed to be
> Amaterasu on it.  Some sort of sun goddess, anyway.
Oops.  Not a good place to be, Natasha.

>       A name came to my mind.  "BORIS!" I shouted.
>   
Boris and Natasha?  (shakes head; heavy sigh)  Sad.  Very sad.

>     Unfortunately, his buddies now were about to come crashing in.  One
> transformed into a huge black and gold dog which started appearing and
> vanishing at random intervals as it came towards me, as if it was in a
> strobe light or something.  A second one turned into a miniature dragon
> about the size of a cow and flew towards me.  The third one turned into a
> huge amorphous puddle of black and purple gunk, oozing my direction;
> thankfully, it was slow.
>   
Throughout this battle, you manage to keep things interesting, and give 
us individual
antagonists very different from each other, very easy for the kids to 
give capsule descriptions
of, very easy for us to keep track of.  Nice work.

> Kasumi's Tale:
>
>     "Kagami, can your pet fly?" I asked.
>   
I liked this; no hesitation on Kasumi's part.

>     "My...oh, my...wait, you know I'm one of the Hime?" Kagami said in utter
> surprise.  I had to wonder if she was paying attention the time I trained
> with them, though I suspect she had her mind focused on Shun.  Or maybe
> she's just panicky.
>
>     "Yes, dear," Shun said.  "The evidence piled up enough for us to guess.
> Your strength, how quickly you learn, the way the family adopted you and so
> on."
>   
Heh.

> Chie's Tale:
>
>     We were on our way to the dorms when we saw a giant mechanical owl and a
> huge white falcon appear over the high school women's dorm and then launch
> themselves off over the woods.  People were riding them, but we were too far
> away to make out who clearly.
>   
Heh.

>     Akane simply hefted Akira over one shoulder and took off running.
>   
Heh.

> Crystal's Tale:
>
>     The only good thing about running into a clearing full of monsters was
> that when the miniature dragon (miniature compared to a real dragon,
> actually a lot bigger than me) breathed fire at me, I managed to throw
> myself flat and the fire vaporized the bees chasing me.  My upper right arm
> felt very strange, almost in pain.
>
>     Unfortunately, this left me flat on my face with a huge puddle of purple
> and black ooze coming my direction.  Worse, the randomly teleporting dog
> monster now landed on my back briefly; fortunately, it then teleported away,
> looking somewhat frustrated, just before it could bite me.  Natasha began
> laughing even as I tried to get my wind back.
>   
Those are two wonderful paragraphs.

>     "MIROKU!" I shouted, holding my crystal blade skywards.
>
>     Light erupted downwards around me, and then parted to form shadows and
> ribbons of light that wrapped around the shadows, until a suit of samurai
> style armor made of a mixture of translucent crystal and black steel, a good
> eight feet tall, formed, wearing golden robes and one of those conical
> monk's hats, and carrying a monk's staff, complete with those jingling rings
> and tipped with a round crystal in a rainbow of colors.
Huh.  I guess Mikoto's "Miroku" hasn't been active since Kagatsuchi aced 
him?  News to me.  And now it wants another chance, in a new shape, 
adapted to Crystal?

>     Boris and Natasha charged at the giant mass of vines, which soon found
> itself burning as they unleashed fire on it.
>   
You need a moose monster and a squirrel monster for Boris and Natasha to 
attack.  :)

>     This was just in time for the three new serpents to shed their skins.
> The first became a weird looking black, purple, and white-fringed kind of
> winged lion with a spiked tail.  The second became a flying giant manta ray
> with red glowing eyes.  And the third became a black and purple giant human
> skeleton with ruby eyes, engulfed in flames.
>
>     And four more serpents began to form.
>
>     DAMMIT.
>   
No pressure.  No pressure at all.  Heh.

> Shun's Tale:
>
>     I only had one knife left and would have to make it count. I was aching
> all over and my arms and fingers and my chest had this annoying feeling as
> if they'd somehow gone to sleep in the middle of the battle.  Also, I felt
> like I had gas or something, though I tried to ignore it.
>   
First time through, I had no idea what to make of this.  This time, I 
have a suspicion Shun is feeling
the potential to turn into a female.

>     "Just the two of us," Mom said.  "Though Midori tried proposing matching
> outfits one time."
>   
Heh.  Hime Sentai!

> Natasha's Tale:
>
>     "Your child's fog muffles sound, right?" Aunt Akira  asked Erica.
>   
Suggest capitalizing "Child" there.

>     "I felt it most when I was attacking things too," Shun said.
>
>     "Hmm, that could indicate potential," Aunt Akira said.  "Unfortunately,
> we really don't know as much about all this as I'd like."
>   
Akira knows that the next generation only has six slots, with five now 
filled.  Might she remark on this?

>     But I knew why.  Because we didn't tell her.  Hide things from your
> daughter and it teaches her that hiding things from your loved ones is okay.
>   
Yep.

Nice to see Mai's reaction to the news.

>     "Give our daughter some credit," he said patiently.  He knows that's
> just my frustration talking.  "She ensured she would have backup, which is
> more than you did half the time."
>
>     I winced at that too.  Half the time I'd tried to hide from being a Hime
> and the other half I often tried to do it all myself.  I wouldn't even let
> Takumi do his own laundry or cooking.
>   
Heh.  Very true.

> more than our morgage payments and Yuuichi makes more than our other
>   
(SP) "mortgage"

> Kasumi's Tale:
>
>     "There is, however, a downside to this bond," Miyu said.  "During the
> war on the Obsidian Lord, we discovered that if a Hime's Child was slain,
> the person most important to her dissolved away into nothing."
>   
Amazing that Miyu can say that, and Akane hear that, without betraying 
any reactions the kids
notice.

>    "There is a further matter," Aunt Miyu said.  "You must not tell anyone
> unless you have no choice.  Our world survives, without a god sustaining the
> walls which keep out the Orphans and other invaders, because humanity is not
> aware these creatures exist.  The defenses of our world are decaying, but
> they will decay faster the more people know about the Orphans and the gods.
>   
Nice wrinkle; provides a motivation for continued secrecy.

>     Aunt Alyssa now broke her silence and said, "The Silver Knight is
> another one of the gods imprisoned by the Obsidian Lord.  It may be that he
> has broken some of his bonds and is trying to recruit his own 'Hime'.
Interesting.  (This is the remainder of what you meant by "more going on".)

>   The
> Silver Knight was obsessed with greatness, as embodied by figures such as
> Samson, Hercules, Achilles, and so on, though they all lived or were
> invented after his imprisonment."
>
>     "Heroism in the ancient sense where it means accomplishing great things,
> but was often accompanied by being a drunken, lustful, murderous lout?" Dan
> asked.
>   
Hmm... Like Taiki?

> up with the ones we use.  And each god has their own," Alyssa said.  "Valor,
> courage, bravery, defiance of the odds, these are the things the Silver
> Knight looks for.
Interesting.  What might the relationship between the Vice Principal and 
the Silver Knight be?  I'm
thinking I may know another name for the Silver Knight.

> said.  "Which probably reflected the Obsidian Lord's power.  I would guess
> that they were summoned by someone trying to prevent the Silver Knight
> sending Orphans onto the campus to create champions for himself."
>   
Great:  multiple opposed factions among the humans at this school.  
Well, I can think of a candidate
to be the S.K.'s local agent...

>     "It has been sealed," Aunt Miyu said.  "Someone cleaned up here.
> Probably whoever is responsible for the black orphans."
>
>     Not just sealed, but someone planted a rose bush and some nice violets
> too.  And some peonies.
>   
This rather points at Sakomizu-sensei.

>     Crystal frowned.   "I thought his mother was on our side."
>
>     "We can debate morality later," Aunt Alyssa said.  "If he really is
> Mashiro's son...well, his mother was rather a manipulator herself."
>   
No mention of Nagi here?  With a physical description, for Crystal's 
benefit?

> Crystal's Tale:
>
>     And she doesn't have any powers and there's only one slot left and I
>   
Presumably Akira mentioned this offstage?

>
> Akane's Tale:
>
>     I came home, feeling pretty good.  Wonderful, in fact.  Being able to
>   
The "home" misled me; I'd forgotten that Akane and Kazuya are staying 
with Chie and Aoi.
You might want to not use "home" here.

> Takumi's Tale:
>
>     We were each wearing a shirt and underwear and nothing else.  Well,
> she'd taken her bra off, but still had her boxers on.
>   
Heh.  Akira still wears boxers?

>     Erica looked thoughtful, pushing up her glasses.  "The orphanage didn't
> even know, right?  As someone just anonymously dropped me off, right?"
>   
Heh.  Mischief is afoot.

> ties to us, or some Fuuka student who was gathered in by First District who
> never manifested.  There's the birthmark, but those aren't hereditary," I
> continued.  Erica has a birthmark, but I doubt it has anything to do with
> Hime powers, as I never saw a mark like that on anyone else in the family.
> It kind of resembles a crab, though.  But only very vaguely.
>   
Oh, yes.  Didn't see that one coming.  Interesting twist.  Someone else 
has a claim on Erica, or
she has another potential source of power.  Or both.

Anyway, looking forward to Part 4!