[FFML] [Mai Hime, Future] The Summer of Her Discontent--Something For Me

[John Biles]

On Tue, Jul 21, 2009 at 11:44 PM, Bert Miller <hkmiller at theeddy.com> wrote:

> Yay!  Out at last!
>
> As always, a good read.
>
> General thoughts:  with the number of characters you have, it must be a
> real bitch keeping
> track of who knows what, and even harder to keep track of who ought to be
> speculating
> on what, or noticing what.  But I do have the general sense that there are
> plausibility
> issues in certain lacks of speculation here; I will try to flesh out below.


Yes, it is.  That and trying to ensure each character refers to other
characters by the right naming convention..


> John Biles wrote:
>

>  computer.  Then a pair of huge tusks broke through the wall.
>>
>>    "Babar!" I shouted.  My faithful elephant companion.
>>
>>    A name resonated in my mind.
>>
>>    HANNIBAL.
>>
>>
> Heh.  So Erica's Child is already talking to her, and is going to be an
> elephant?


Yeah, the Mai Hime series hinted some of the kids dreamed of their Childs
before meeting them, or possibly I hallucinated that, so Erica has made
dream contact.

(We saw Elephants are her favorites in Road Trip)


>
>
>  Truly this is the year of miracles," he said.  "Rehearsals are in Nichiren
>> Hall in the auditorium.  Be there tomorrow at seven."
>>
>>
> Rosewood Academy is naming halls after Buddhist priests who advocated
> violence against rival
> sects?  Well, maybe.


Here's my experience of most schools--if someone donates money, you name it
whatever they want, so long as they don't name it 'KILL ALL WHITEY HALL'



>
>     "Okay," I said.  "Wait, what's the play?"
>>
>>    "Sad Dracula in Snow.  It's a horror-comedy."
>>
>>
> Heh.


This is inspired by my first high school play, The Creature Creeps, which
was a Frankenstein parody.



>
>
>  Kasumi's Tale:
>>
>>    I shouldn't have skipped track practice, but I'm still trying to figure
>> out what to do.  I don't know if I can successfully fake being slow enough
>> that I don't accidentally become world famous.
>>
>>
> "No."


That's basically where this is going, yes.  :)


>
>
>     I couldn't help but smile a little at that.  "Yes, my powers," I told
>> her.  "I don't think I hid them very well today and I really don't know
>> how
>> to hide them in track."
>>
>>    "You sucked ass at hiding them today," Natasha said.  "But your
>> mother...holy cow..."
>>
>>
> Heh.


Yep!


>
>
>     She showed us several moves and then had us drill with them while she
>> did them and critiqued us.  Kasumi, to my surprise, got it right the first
>> time and then did it very quickly and powerfully.  I got it pretty quick
>> because I have a knack.  I don't know who my Dad is,
>>
> First time we've been told that Shiho never even told Natasha her father's
> name, I think; previously, it had just been that nobody in the family had
> seen the guy for years.  Unless you have a reason for this detail, I'd
> rethink it; for a sixteen-year-old NOT to have pressed her mother hard
> about the identify of her father strikes me as odd.  I can see Shiho sulkily
> wanting to withhold the information, but I have trouble with even Natasha
> being THIS easy-going about it.  If nothing else, shouldn't she be
> fantasizing that her father was Batman or something?


She has pressed her mother, but her mother withheld it.  OTOH, it wouldn't
hurt to change this, so I will think about it.  (She actually finds out
later in Summer of Her Discontent, but it's not a huge plot point there, so
I could change it.)



>     Aunt Akane beat my ass like a drum.  I couldn't hit her to save my life
>> and she just steamrollered me like a giant train crashing into a shed.  I
>> ended up flat on my ass very quickly and she looked horrified.
>>
>>    After that, she slowed down a lot, but it was a strain.  When she and
>> Kasumi went at it, they were both trying to go slower, but they kept
>> having
>> bursts of speed.  I don't know if everyone else was deliberately not
>> noticing or if they were too busy with their own exercise and drill to
>> notice.
>>
>>
> At this point, we readers don't know if Akane realizes that she's showing
> off her powers; and if so, whether she realizes what Kasumi's ability to
> keep up means.
>

Yep.


>
>
>     But I have a feeling Kasumi isn't going to be able to hide this from
>> the
>> parents too long.  Not once someone like Aunt Akira or Aunt Mikoto who are
>> really good at judging these things watches, anyway.
>>
>>
> Reasonable.  But I'm pretty sure, based on one previous read-through, that
> Akira DOES see Kasumi sparring at some point later on.


Yes.


>
>
>     "Me neither," I said.  "This would be much easier if I could turn this
>> on and off."
>>
>>    "Maybe the parents can," Natasha said.  "Mom sure hasn't ever shown me
>> any evidence of super powers, but maybe they can just turn it off and hide
>> it, which is why we've never seen the mark on them either."
>>
>>
> Very reasonable speculation on the kids' part at this point.


It's pretty logical, yeah.


>
>
>  Shun's Tale:
>>
>>    I'd have to dodge or indirectly parry anything she threw at me, but
>> Aunt
>> Akane was not just parrying her blows but doing so in a very
>> straightforward
>> manner that surprised me.  I didn't think she had enough strength.
>>
>>
> Should be "I'd never have suspected, earlier, that she had such strength."
>  Just a few paras above, Shun is thinking that he EXPECTS to see Akane do
> stuff like this.


DOH.  Yes.  ^^;;

Changed it to:

I'd have to dodge or indirectly parry anything she threw at me, but Aunt
Akane was not just parrying her blows but doing so in a very straightforward
manner.  She'd never shown off such strength before, but I guess she's
stopped hiding what she can do.



>
>     "You've been holding out on us," Crystal mumbled ruefully.  "I was
>> worried about hurting you at first."
>>
>>
> So Shun was expecting to see Akane's powers, and Crystal wasn't?  Or is
> Crystal just fishing for a possibly-revealing comment from Akane?


Force of habit.  They're used to think of Aunt Akane as kind of breakable
because the family has tended to act like she and Kasumi weren't very
tough.  It takes a bit to adjust your thinking.


>
>
>     "Kasumi and I are tougher than we look," Aunt Akane said softly.
>>
> Now, does Akane know that Kasumi is powered up?  Or is this just some kind
> of naive pride in her own daughter?


Naive pride, combined with Akane really not entirely grasping the limits of
human skill.  And still adapting to being in full power mode herself.


>
>
>   Even when Kagami overdid
>> it and threw her up into the branches of a tree.  That kind of boggled me.
>> I'm pretty sure I couldn't throw someone so far.  Kagami didn't normally
>> seem to be that strong.
>>
>>
> So Shun notices Kagami's strength, but doesn't start speculating.


Doh, gotta fix that.

>
>
>     I was pretty sure we hadn't seen the limits of what she could do yet.
>>
>>    "When I'm done with you, you'll be good at it too," Aunt Akane said
>> confidently.
>>
>>    Crystal stared at her, while Kagami nodded affirmatively.  I was a
>> little surprised myself.
>>
>>
> Unclear at this point what Akane and Kagami actually think.  I find it
> implausible that they could BOTH be naive about what training could do, so
> this nearly has to be a modest deception on their part, previously agreed
> to.
>

They're both basically assuming everyone is going to power up down the
road.


>
>
>  Kasumi's Tale:
>>
>>    "I couldn't hit her until she pushed me to just go crazy and even then
>> she handled me," Crystal mumbled.  "When did your Mom suddenly...she's not
>> trying very hard at all to hide what she can do."
>>
>>    "I know," I told her.
>>
>>    "My ass agrees with you," Natasha said ruefully.  "I wonder if they're
>> all going to start doing this, just flaunting their power at us."
>>
>>
> All the teenagers have noticed, very clearly, that Akane is displaying
> extraordinary abilities.


Yep.

>
>
>     "I think she must have saved Kagami from a monster attack and it's
>> given
>> her more boldness," Natasha said.  "She must have been nervous about going
>> out in the field and now she's all I AM BATTLE PRINCESS, HEAR ME ROAR."
>>
> Remarkably good guess.  Given which, the further step that Kagami knows
> about Akane's powers is trivial.  So why does nobody remark on this?  It
> explains why Kagami is in the parent's confidence, which they've noted.


Because I didn't think for them to make that step..  ^^;;


>
>
>     "If it takes a monster attack, it may be a long wait," I said.  "Unless
>> monsters start showing up here."
>>
>>
> So, clearly, Natasha should be plotting to sneak out of school and go
> follow the nuns on their next mission.


Hehe.  That is the Natasha way.  She has to get an actual lead, though.


>
>
>     "We need some way to check out Tallin.  Without getting busted,"
>> Crystal
>> said.
>>
>>    "By now, I expect it's all been cleaned up," I said.
>>
>>    "Unfortunately," Crystal said.  "We learned some at Fuuka, but we
>> probably could have learned more if we had been there unchaperoned."
>>
>>
> Crystal is wrong about this (no chaperone means no confession by Nao), but
> thinking she could have learned MORE without the parents is going overboard,
> even for her.  Obsession showing through here?


It's a lot harder to gather information with the parents on top of them,
though.  And yeah, some of it is her obsession.


>
>
>  Erica's Tale:
>>
>>    But really, I can't see how they expect this script to win.  Listening
>> to Shun, though, I get the impression that what our school really cares
>> about is beating Saint Mary's and Tokugawa's.  Other schools are basically
>> irrelevant so long as our rivals go down.
>>
>>
> Heh.
>
>     I can't make up my mind whether to go with the fact that I like him or
>> whether to hold back, given we're cousins now.  Cousins in name, but I get
>> the impression the cousins all think of each other off limits.  I'm
>> probably
>> just seeing things I want to see, anyway.
>>
>>
> Nice twist; new romantic tension.


Danke!


>
>
>  Kasumi's Karma:
>>
>>    Coach looked at me while Ayumi tried to laser my head open with
>> hate-vision.
>>
> Nice phrase.


Heh.


>
>
>  Shun's Tale:
>>
>>    Aunt Akane was working on basic naginata drills with Kagami.  I was
>> curious why she was being taught naginata when it's not really Mom or Aunt
>> Akane's specialty.  But they were determinedly working with that, while
>> Crystal and I ran through drills.  Though if she is secretly a Hime, it
>> must
>> be her Element.
>>
>>
> First time we've seen Shun guess that Kagami may now be a Hime (and last, I
> think?).  And how does
> Shun know the term 'Element'?


He read my mind.  DOH MUST FIX.



>
>
>     "Hey there, Tokiha-san, Tate-san," came a somewhat familiar voice.
>> "Either of you seen my brother?"
>>
>>    It was Nagiki Junko; she goes to Saint Mary's and her brother attends
>> Tokugawa Memorial.  She's taller than me but has basically the same hair,
>> though she gets a little fancier about it, curling it.  She's got muscular
>> legs and arms and a bosom about the same size as Erica, which is to say,
>> middling.
>>
>>    "The manliest of manly men did not come by to show us that he, Nagiki
>> Hikaru, is indeed, a MAN among MEN," Crystal said, laughing.
>>
>>
> So Hikaru is shorter than Shun but Nagaki is taller?  Unusual.  I suppose
> it helps explain their obsessions, though, if Nagiki is tall and muscular
> and Hikaru is short and girly-looking.


Yeah.  Though Nagiki is more like 'middling', as Shun is not very tall (Dan
is way tall).  I think I am going to need to nail down precise heights for
everyone, though, so I don't stumble into inapt height comparisons.



>
>
>     It now struck me that Aunt Akane hadn't really restrained herself in
>> front of Junko.  She'd pressed Junko very hard, in fact.  I had to wonder
>> what Junko was thinking.
>>
>>
> And what Akane is thinking.  Can she really not realize?


Akane is not used to this yet.


>
>
>     When Aunt Akane pinned me, I asked her softly, "Did you mean to show
>> off
>> so much in front of someone outside the family?"
>>
>>    "..."
>>
>>    I then threw her into the air and she somehow flipped back to land
>> smoothly.  Dang.
>>
>>    She now glanced at Junko and looked thoughtful.
>>
>>
> And what does Akane think of Shun's comment?  Clearly Shun thinks Akane
> ought to be hiding her abilities, so clearly Shun has associated Akane's new
> level of performance with the family secret.


Hmmm, yeah, good point.  Gotta think on this.



>
>
>  Kasumi's Tale:
>>
>>    "Power has its price, but without power, all you can do is be a
>> victim,"
>> a teenage male now said.
>>
>>    I spun and saw someone in the junior high uniform, with dark red hair
>> that cascaded down to his elbows.  He had blue-green eyes.  "And who wants
>> to be a victim?"
>>
>>
> I keep reading that last sentence as being Kasumi's response.  Suggest
> adding a "he added" to the end.
>

Fixed now!

>
>     I slapped my forehead.  Dammit.  I put a hand over my mouth for
>> swearing, even though it was inside my head.
>>
>>
> Heh.  Nice characterization.
>

Heh


>
>
>     I wasn't going to give up just because some junior high kid...with
>> magical abilities...told me to.
>>
> Heh.
>

Heh.


>
>
>     "I met someone who claimed to be the son of the headmistress from Fuuka
>> when our parents were there," I said.
>>
>>    Natasha choked on her milk and everyone stared at me.
>>
>>
> Heh.  Natasha is making a regular habit of choking on drinks in this
> episode.


Not deliberate on my part, merely a pretty coincidence.


>
>
>     "His mother handed over power to our parents and left.  The Crystal
>> Princess says in her namcub that the world belongs to us, that she has to
>> leave this world, the battle princesses are her daughters, and so on.  So
>> his Mom is the Crystal Princess, who was the Headmistress!  She probably
>> gathered our parents together to fight the Obsidian Lord!"  Natasha was
>> growing more and more excited.  "Your mom went to Fuuka on a special
>> scholarship, right, Crystal?"
>>
>>    "Yes," Crystal said.
>>
>>    "And Aunt Akane had one and Aunt Midori taught there... HIRED by the
>> headmistress of course.  And Mom was from Fuuka and didn't your parents
>> have
>> scholarships, Erica?"
>>
>>    "Yes," she said.
>>
>>
> Going overboard on scholarships, I think; particularly since we have no
> particular reason from the series to believe Chie or Aoi actually had them,
> as they weren't Hime at the time.  Chie, we're led to believe, didn't live
> in the dorm, so she was probably a local resident (after the girl's dorm
> gets trashed by Shiho, Chie shows up and asks what happened; Aoi replies
> that she was in the shower, etc).
>
> And Akira's parents would have been quite happy to spend through the nose
> to get Akira on site for the Festival.  Might also want to consider other
> variations:  the headmaster hiring parents of a Hime for a local job.


Oooh, good idea and good points.

Changed to:

    "Chie-Mom was from Fuuka; she just had a small one she got in an essay
contest.  Aoi-Mom got paid for by her parents."

    "I think Mom's family paid for her, but Dad and Aunt Mai had one
together or something.  The school helped pay, anyway, but Aunt Mai had to
work to help pay for Dad's medication and everything," Shun said.




>
>
>     I ate some of my orange to avoid frowning too much.  I shouldn't be
>> jealous, but once practice is over, I have nothing to do on Friday.
>>  Though
>> I suppose I can ask June, see if she can do anything with me.
>>
>>
> ...and have June misunderstand Kasumi's intentions, and make a move on
> Kasumi?


Hah!  But no.

>
>
>     "I dunno, Aunt Akane, you seem kind of fast lately," Natasha said.
>>
>>    "Really?" Mother said, sounding surprised.
>>
>>    "You don't have amnesia, do you?" Natasha asked.
>>
>>
> What IS up with Akane?  She can't really be surprised, can she?


Akane is still adjusting to going from total normal to having powers she
isn't used to hiding or compensating for.  Though some of it is also a
rather weak attempt to deny having these powers.



>
>
>     Aunt Aoi called me in the middle of practice; when I got a break, I
>> took
>> the call.  "What's up, Aunt Aoi?"
>>
>>    "Apparently, we will be administering a drug test for the athletic
>> teams
>> tomorrow.  A student asked for it.  Not that it will matter for you, I
>> know,
>> but just a heads up."
>>
>>
> And what does Aoi make of this?  Given the warning, she probably has reason
> to suspect that the test is directed at Kasumi; a few questions would inform
> Aoi that Kasumi's performance has jumped significantly; ergo Kasumi is now a
> Hime as well.


Yeah. In part 2, as we'll see, the parents are increasingly suspecting
Kasumi = Hime and are arguing over what exactly to do next to confirm this.




>
>
>     Ayumi, I thought.  Well, I have nothing to hide, right?  This isn't
>> drugs, it's magic.  Or whatever it is.
>>
>>    It's NOT drugs.
>>
>>
> Not sure Kasumi has reason to be so confident here.  She doesn't know HOW
> the magic gave her such a big performance boost; how can she be sure that
> nothing unusual will show up in the tests?  (magic nanites; miracle serum; a
> cure for cancer, etc).
>

No one gets busted on Sailor Moon for drugs, right?  Some of this is just
denial, though.



>
>
>  Erica's Tale:
>>
>>    Mr. K ran us through the play several times while the technicians did
>> their job.  I could see Gin was rather enjoying himself; he'd been given
>> control of the lighting board and was getting pretty adept at tracking
>> lights all over the stage.  A little more than Mr. K wanted, I think,
>> though.
>>
>>
> FYI, I'm not as engrossed in Erica's play scenes as I am in Kasumi's
> storyline.  Not sure why.


Erica's play is more comedy, though there are some dramatic stuff as we go
along, whereas Kasumi's storyline is drama, which is more easily gripping.

Now, for me, who did high school drama, the play is very gripping because I
did this, but it's basically the comic relief for Kasumi coming under more
and more pressure and having a harder and harder time hiding her abilities.



>
>
>  Crystal's Tale:
>>
>>    After Aunt Akane beat us like a beating machine again, I went to go see
>> Nagisa, getting a bunch of funny looks from the guys at the junior high
>> dorm.  They're full of hormones and not used to girls built like me.
>>
>>
> Heh.  In Junior High?  I'd think not.


Yep.


>
>
>     If any of them try to photograph my panties, they will discover what my
>> shinai feels like.
>>
>>    I didn't have to kill anyone; I think the sword scared them off.
>>  Nagisa
>> came down and took me up to his room.  "What's up?" he asked.
>>
>>    I told him about the guy, though not the full details.
>>
>>    "Huh, I can't think of anyone like that," he said.  "Why would he wear
>> the uniform in the middle of the night?"
>>
>>    "Damned if I know, but he claimed his mother was the old headmistress
>> at
>> Fuuka."
>>
>>
> Crystal knows Nagisa's surname, "Kazahana", from the very end of "Under a
> Barrel".  Given that she hears Mashiro's last name just below (even if the
> didn't already know it from her own research), she has the information to
> suspect either that Nagisa IS Kei, or must be Kei's brother.
>
> I suppose you could have Nagisa make a remark here someplace about
> coincidental last names.


Yeah, I TOTALLY forgot that.  Ahaha.  ^^;;

Okay, the scene has now been changed to have him tell her he will see what
he can find for Crystal on the old headmaster instead of him practically
waving a 'SUSPECT ME' flag at her.




>
>     "There is also this one off someone's high school nostalgia page,"
>> Nagisa said.
>>
>>    It was a picture of Mom dressed as a cowgirl, Aunt Natsuki in a nun
>> outfit, Aunt Yukino wearing a ballerina outfit, Aunt Mikoto as a
>> policewoman, Aunt Nao in a formal dress gown, Aunt Aoi in some sort of
>> 'female Conan' outfit (pretty skimpy), and Aunt Chie in a biker outfit,
>> all
>> of them holding microphones in some club.  They were joined by some women
>> I
>> only vaguely recognized—Mandi, Hayao, and Sanae's mothers, I think, also
>> in
>> costumes.
>>
>>
> Heh.  I like it.


Inspired of course by the insane costumes worn in the Post-Battle of Fuuka
Victory Karaoke Party.



>
>
>     "But here's the killer," he said.
>>
>>    He called up another file; it showed the place where the bridge stands
>> by Fuuka now, but with only a burnt out wreck.  A huge circular irregular
>> frame stood across the gap, shaped like the battle princess sign with a
>> glowing red thing in the middle connected by many bars to the frame.  High
>> above it, you could see ten streaks in the sky like meteors or comets
>> heading for it.
>>
>>
> Interesting that someone could photograph the Hime Star, given that only
> the Hime could see it.  Presumably this photo is quite unique.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Color me moron.  Gonna have to revise this too.  ^^;  Or figure out some way
for the photo to exist.





>
>     I could hardly breathe.  Was that the Obsidian Lord?  Or maybe his
>> namcub.  He might well have just keeled over once the source of his power
>> was destroyed.  Ten streaks.  But there are fifteen princesses.  Thirteen
>> then.  Maybe Aunt Alyssa was too young for her powers yet.  So twelve.
>>  But
>> that's still two missing.  Did people get too hurt to fight?  Quite
>> possible.
>>
>>
> Pretty good guessing, even if not completely accurate.


Yep.


>
>
>     "Where did you find this?"
>>
>>
> "My mother took it, and gave it to me."
>

Hehe.


>
>
>      It was a blurry attempt at a closeup of one of the sky streaks.  You
>> could make out Aunt Midori with a giant pink battle axe, riding some kind
>> of...
>>
>>
> Now this is a shot Chie might have managed...


There's a ton of people watching the Charge of the Hime brigade, but yeah :)


>
>
>     "Who put them up?"
>>
>>    "Anonymous person in some free webspace, way back in 2005," he said.
>>
>>
> Maybe it WAS Chie?


I hadn't decided, but I figured someone would have snapped some photos and
that makes sense.


>
>
>  "It's been sitting forgotten on the archive place for decades."
>>
>>    I got copies of them on my flash drive.  "Anything else?"
>>
>>    "Your parent's generation spent the year your mother first arrived at
>> Fuuka with no club memberships or anything, but after that, they buried
>> themselves kneedeep in such things after the change in headmistresses."
>>
>>    As if perhaps they'd spent a year fighting the Obsidian Lord and now
>> had
>> lots of free time, I thought.  Oh yeah.
>>
>>
> Nagisa is really getting a little TOO helpful, here.  Crystal is not nearly
> suspicious enough about this treasure-trove, even as obsessed as she is.
>  Has she given Nagisa enough information about her family to enable his
> searches to produce info so precisely targeted to Crystal's interests?



hmm, yeah, gonna have to work this scene, so some of this is just Crystal is
hungry enough for info not to think things through enough.


>
>     She hasn't said anything, but I wonder how Kasumi is avoiding showing
>> off in track.  I should probably ask her.  We'll all need to know.
>>
>>
> Heh.  And Crystal really is oblivious to what's going on around her...


Yep.

>
>
>  Akane's Tale:
>>
>>
> Ah, good.  An adult POV!
>

More of that in part 2.


>
>     "I have a meeting with Shell Solar and US Robots people," Jinnai said.
>> "Top secret, can't talk about it.  It is likely we will make stupidly
>> large
>> amounts of money, though."
>>
>>
> Heh.  Might Tate Yuichi be interested in hearing about this?


Most definitely, given he works for Shinohara Electronics and Robotics,
major rival of Kurauchi Electronics.


>
>
>     "How is Kasumi?" Jinnai asked.
>>
>>    "She is very well," I told him.  "She has a touch of the usual
>> teenagerness lately, but that's how kids are at that age."
>>
>>    Kazuya laughed.  "She's still a sweet, well-behaved, hard-working child
>> who is very good at running."
>>
>>    "She's VERY fast," I said proudly.  "I'm sure she'd love it if you came
>> to her meet tomorrow."
>>
>>
> Hmm.  Not trying to hide anything from Jinnai.  I guess Akane really does
> think what she's seen from Kasumi lately is natural.


Akane is being pretty naive here; as we see later, Jinnai sees things she
doesn't because he has a rather more intimate knowledge of human physical
limits.

But lacks the context.

>
>
>     "I'm fine," she said with the not fine but trying badly to hide it
>> voice.  I frowned.  What was wrong?
>>
>>
> Ah.  I take all this to mean that Akira, at least, thinks it may be a bad
> idea to show Kasumi's speed off.
> Otherwise this passage doesn't make much sense to me.


That's some of it, though it's also, as seen much later, that Akira is a bit
cranky with Jinnai (more than she would admit for being mistaken for a  man)
and thinks he is fooling around with his driver (which is all in her head
but gives her an excuse for more ill feelings at him).  This is an extension
of her being stressed out in general over everything going down.


>
>
>  Kagami's Tale:
>>
>>    I shifted back and forth nervously, then realized something.  My mark
>> is
>> right on my back.  It's in almost exactly the same place as Akane-san's.
>> How am I going to hide it if I take my blouse off to change into something
>> else?  Or if I bathe with the others.  I don't want to be rude and refuse
>> to
>> do so.
>>
>>
> While I'm thinking about it, Akane has been training with Kasumi and
> Natasha over at Haruka's
> mansion all this last week, right?  Haven't they all been bathing
> afterwards?


Akane has to hide her mark too, so they've had seperate 'adult' and
'teenager' bathing.


>
>
>     It's supposed to be a secret, though I really don't understand why.
>>
>>
> Neither do I.  As far as the parents know, the Hime sign means nothing to
> the kids.


The long habit of secrecy, which is why they never even explained what they
were looking for on the kids.

IE, no really good reason.


>
>
>     "Okay," Koyabishi said, looking triumphant.
>>
>>    I felt a burst of jealousy and told myself not to be stupid.  It's not
>> like...But I didn't want to see her swoop in either.
>>
>>    "We'd best go back to my place," I told Dan, "So I can treat your back
>> again since you've been lying on it."
>>
>>    "Okay," he said, and I could see Koyabishi-san grimace.  Score, I
>> thought,
>>
> Heh.  And even more romantic tension!
>

Yep!


>
>
>  Natasha's Tale:
>>
>>
>>    Gin fell on me and I dragged him back.  Jesus, he's that strong and Dan
>> stood up to all those blows?  Man, Dan must be made out of stone or
>> something.
>>
>>
> That, or maybe Taiki is stronger now than he was then.  Say if he's been
> possessed by something.


Heh :)


>
>
>     Dammit.  Why'd she have to be the one to get the powers first?
>>
>>
> Because of what you'd use yours for right now if you had them?


Quite.

The potential to abuse these powers is going to be an issue in the chapters
to come.


>
>
>  Kasumi's Tale:
>>
>>    People exaggerate how fast or strong artificial limbs can make you
>> these
>> days.  You can't actually safely exceed normal human limits without
>> damaging
>> the rest of your body when you use them.
>>
> That would depend on what you're doing.  Running or lifting, sure; but an
> artificial hand could apply an awful lot of pressure to, say, a lump of
> coal, without the rest of the body taking any stress at all.


Yes.  But Kasumi's thinking more in terms of 'LOOK HOW FAST MY CYBERLEG
MAKES ME'



>
>
>     "Artificial legs make noises," Coach said to her.
>>
> (Nods) Like Dorothy's.


Yep.

>
>
>
>
>  Kasumi's Tale:
>>
>>    Uncle Takumi and Father and my brothers took off after we ate, but Aunt
>> Akira and Mother were going to stay and train us.
>>
>>
> Okay:  now Akira is going to see Kasumi in action.


Yep!



>
>
>     Aunt Akira blinked, then said, "Show me what you have got, Kasumi."
>>
>>
>>    Then she spent a while showing me some new moves.  Her expression was
>> very blank and I couldn't tell if I'd done well or badly.  And wasn't sure
>> if I should ask.
>>
>>
> Heh.
>
>  it waste."  Akira-sensei sighed.  "We hopeed such a thing could never
>> happen
>>
>>
> Extra 'e' in 'hoped'.




>
>  Erica's Tale:
>>
>>    Dan then rubbed his arms and I felt the ant crawling AGAIN.  I was
>> starting to worry.  "You too?" I asked.
>>
>>    He frowned.  "What is giving me this feeling?"
>>
>>    I don't know, but I didn't like it.
>>
>>
> Interesting.  Description reminiscent of how the more experienced Hime
> describe a zone where magic works.


BINGO.   *Gives you a gold star *


>
>  Erica's Tale:
>>
>>
>>    "Hey, those were OFFICIAL ADAPTATIONS," Natasha protested, arms across
>> her chest.  "I got ripped off.  How was I supposed to know they cut
>> stuff?"
>>
>>
> Heh.  How Natasha.  If they hadn't cut something, they'd have been the
> originals.


Hehe.


>
>
>
> A very enjoyable read; thank you for writing and sharing!


Part 2 will be out pretty soon, again once I finish adjusting this one and
fighting the name accuracy monster.
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