[FFML] [Ranma][Lime][Spamfic]Oh, why not?

[David Andersson]

Thanks. That was great. ;)


2009/2/15 Slacker <datcord at gmail.com>

> Just a bit of random insanity my brain kicked out.
>
> Disclaimer: All characters owned by Takahashi, not me.  No profit made or
> desired.
> This isn't talking about you.  That's not chicken you're eating.  Don't
> stick that fork in that outlet.  Your mileage may vary.
>
> *****
>
>         One day, Ranma and Kasumi were in the kitchen. Kasumi was making
> some sort of Western dish that she never would have actually made, but
> was struck by the sudden urge to make as though she didn't actually know
> any authentic Japanese dishes, despite being a Japanese citizen.  Let's
> say it was meatloaf, why not.  From Kobe beef, just for good measure.
>
>        "You know, Kasumi, you've got a great body."  Ranma commented
> out of the blue, as though inspired to do so by an incredibly lazy
> writer who never bothered to actually do research into his character or
> thought processes.
>
>        "Why thank you, Ranma.  Would you like to have sex?"  Kasumi
> responded cheerfully, like a brain-dead bimbo who was being written into
> a story solely because the author has a thing for her and likes to
> pretend that underneath her staid, oblivious housewife persona she's
> actually a near-nymphomaniac with a wide range of fetishes and kinks,
> many of which are a just a bit too closely related to said author's own
> fantasies for any readers not to feel a wee bit creeped out.
>
>        "Would I!  Gee!"  Ranma responded with glee and dialogue ripped
> from 1950's sitcoms.  "But only if you'll let me do you as a chick, too!
> I feel a strong desire to indulge in some sort of discovery of my
> feminine side, despite showing that I view it with some great disdain
> and would do damn near anything to get rid of it with great frequency!
> Maybe you can whip out a strap-on that you just happen to have handy and
> do me with it while talking about how much prettier and sexier I am as a
> girl, thus sparking my decision to stay as a girl and solve all my
> problems, since girls have everything so much better!  This isn't in any
> way any sort of projection on the part of the author and doesn't show
> the least bit of gender issues at all, either!  It's perfect normal!"
>
>        "Oh, I know!  Completely normal, much like the way we've somehow
> teleported to the bedroom despite never leaving the kitchen and how
> everyone else in the house is somehow missing!"  Kasumi added with great
> exuberance, as though she was being written by someone who'd forgotten
> there was punctuation other than an exclamation mark.  "And I see that
> you have a penis that is large enough to qualify for 'massive', even
> 'improbable', and quite likely would actually make you pass out from low
> blood pressure should it ever become erect!  However, I'm sure that I
> will be able to fit it inside me with absolutely no problems, in any way
> we see fit to try, even without lubrication of any sort, since that's
> just a gimmick that you don't actually need!"
>
>        "Well then, let's get to it!"  Ranma cried as he leaped at her,
> amazed at the way his clothes had just vanished and astonished at the
> way Kasumi was demonstrating her flexibility, because she was apparently
> triple-jointed.
>
>        And then they Did It.  And by "It", I mean sex.  Raunchy, dirty,
> sweaty, sticky, tie-me-to-the-bed-and-spank-me, walking-funny-the-next-
> day sex.  It was Great.