[FFML] [Fic][SM] Sailor Who?

[David McMillan]

Angus MacSpon wrote:

	YAY!  More SM4200!!!!

> Been a while since I posted any fiction.  This is a piece of fluff, but
> the idea amused me.

	<glyph of heroically suppressed disappointment>
	...0h.  Well, okay.  Lesse what's on the menu, then.
	
> "Sailor Who"?
> By Angus MacSpon
> 
> Based on characters and situations created by Naoko Takeuchi.
> Comments and criticism welcome.
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> 
> "So it doesn't bother you?" asked Usagi.
> 
> "Not in the least," said Setsuna.
> 
> Ami only sighed.

	<snicker>

> The three were walking slowly down a quiet side-street in the middle of
> town.  It was Saturday, nearly eleven at night, and the city was
> bustling; but the road around them was nearly empty and they could speak
> without fear of being overheard.
> 
> Tonight had been a Girls' Night Out at a local restaurant, one of the

	And if the poor owners of the "all you can eat" buffets had only known....

> rare ones when all nine of them had made it.  Usagi, Makoto and Ami had
> to deal with baby-sitters these days when they wanted to go out, so it

	Isn't that what they have husbands for?  Or grandparents?  That's why 
my sister uses for babysitters.
	...wait, *Makoto*?

> was uncommon for all three to be present at once; Haruka and Michiru
> were on tour as often as not; and it was rarer still for Setsuna to

	What *does* she do with all her time?  C'mon, you know you've wondered....

> socialise.  But for once, everyone's schedules had aligned, and they had
> had a long and enjoyable evening in a private room.
> 
> Later, after they had all made their good-byes, Usagi and Ami headed
> back toward where they had left their cars, and it turned out that
> Setsuna was going in the same direction.  (She did not say *where* she
> was going, and the other two did not ask.)

	Okay, who is this girl, and what did she do with the real Usagi?

> So they continued to chat on their way.  After a little, the inevitable
> subject arose.
> 
> "But if Pluto isn't even a *planet* ..." said Usagi, and paused
> meaningfully.  Her eyes were wide, and far too innocent.

	I suppose I should have seen this coming.

> Setsuna gave a tiny, finely-calculated sniff.  "As if it matters what a
> bunch of astronomers say."

	True.  Nothing about the IAA's pronouncement changed anything *real* 
about Pluto, after all.

> "But they said Pluto is only a *dwarf* planet --"
> 
> "You aren't going to let this go, are you?" asked Setsuna, irritated.

	Oh, c'mon, Setsuna, you're loving this and we all know it.

> "Come on, Usagi-chan.  Size doesn't matter.  Ask any man."
	
	...SO not touching that one....

> "Hm."  Usagi's expression took on a certain hint of satisfaction.  "As
> a matter of fact, Mamo-chan is perfectly --"

	I don't think there should be a space between the word and the double 
hyphen.

> "Usagi-chan!" said Ami, reddening, and Usagi chuckled.  Even happily
> married and with a child of her own, Ami retained a certain prudish
> nature.

	<trying not to think of certain Biles/Hosmer fics....>

> Setsuna shook her head, ignoring the by-play, and went on, "Look, it
> doesn't matter that the astronomers call Pluto.  It doesn't matter how
> big it is.  What matters is whether it has a soul."

	Ah?  Interesting.

> "A soul?" asked Ami curiously.  Usagi stopped laughing, and simply
> looked interested.
> 
> "Certainly.  Haven't you ever wondered why you always say, 'On behalf of
> the planet Mercury'?  Each of us draws power, and authority, from our
> own world's planetary soul."  She paused, and added thoughtfully, "Not
> just planets.  Even a few of the asteroids have souls.  You've both met
> Ceres, Juno, Vesta and Pallas.

	Would  these be the famous Asteroid Senshi of whom I've heard, but 
never seen?

> "Pluto is no different.  It has a soul, and I am its senshi.  But those
> other, far outer worlds ... for one reason or another, they never quite
> managed to wake up.  They can never have senshi of their own: poor Eris,
> Sedna, Makemake and the rest.  They are the real dwarf planets."

	Mm.  But looking into just what determines which planetary bodies have 
souls, and which don't, could make an interesting story.  And what if a 
formerly-souless planet could gain/grow one, or an ensouled planet were 
to *lose* its soul?
	...okay, fine, I'll shut up now.

> They walked in silence for a little.  "You sound ... sorry for them,"
> said Usagi curiously.
> 
> Setsuna shrugged.  "It's ... sobering to think of what might have been.
> If things had gone a little differently, I might never have become
> Sailor Pluto."  She gave a wry shrug.  "Or, then again, there might have
> been more of us.  Perhaps even a second Moon senshi."

	???

> "A second --"  Usagi froze.  "What?"  Behind her, Ami's eyes widened,
> and she started to open her mouth.

	Uh oh.  Ami knows something.

> "Certainly," Setsuna said calmly.  "After all, it would only be fitting
> to have a senshi for Earth's other moon."
> 
> "Other *moon*?!"

	...oh, dear.  Setsuna, you naughty, naughty girl.  I *knew* you were 
enjoying this....

> "Indeed.  And I'm sure you wouldn't mind sharing your title with Sailor
> Cruithne."

	Cruithne?  Mmm, wasn't she connected to one of the great Irish mythic 
heroes?

> "Sailor *who*?"  Usagi stared at her, aghast.
> 
> "Oh, you hadn't heard?  Yes, astronomers discovered Cruithne a few years
> ago.  It's rather hard to see from Earth, but --"
> 
> Usagi rounded on Ami.  "Ami-chan!" she said desperately.  "It isn't
> true, is it?  There's no such thing as Cruithne!  There can't be another
> Moon Princess!"

	Oh, dear.  Can Ami withstand the temptation?

> "Well ..." Ami said, and hesitated.  "Cruithne does exist, and it is
> sometimes called Earth's second moon.  But, Usagi-chan --"

	Apparently not.  Of course, she tries, but if she hadn't been playing 
along with Setsuna at least a *little,* she would have stated that 
differently.

> "Waah!"  Usagi, not unexpectedly, dissolved in tears.  Seeing her car
> not far ahead, she put on an impressive burst of speed, and soon left
> the other two behind.  Her wailing echoed through the street.

	At her age, you have to wonder if this is for real, or if she's 
enjoying playing down to her stereotype....

> Ami sighed and started to go after her, but then visibly gave up as
> Usagi reached her car and flung herself inside.  Instead, she looked up
> at Setsuna and said, "She's going to be quite cross with you when she
> finds out the truth, you know."
> 
> The older woman smiled faintly, and said, "What, that Cruithne is a tiny
> ball of rock, only about five kilometres in diameter?"

	But that doesn't matter, you said so yourself.  Tell us what *really* 
matters, here: does Cruithne have a soul?

> "It isn't even a moon, really.  It's an asteroid with an orbit that's
> synchronised to Earth."

	AGH!  Don't GO there!  I still have scars from the *last* time people 
tried making that argument about Luna.

> Setsuna shrugged.  "She started it."  They walked on in silence for a
> few moments, and then she shook her head with a snort.  "Dwarf planet,
> indeed."

	Well, well, even Setsuna can be childish when it suits her.  Heh.

> 
> End
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Note:  Cruithne is real, and is indeed sometimes called "Earth's second
> moon."  It is named after an ancient Celtic people in iron-age Britain,
> and its name is pronounced, more or less, "Crinya".
> 
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Angus MacSpon                                  Email: macspon at ihug.co.nz
> ICQ: 65719513                          http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/