[FFML] [Fic][Ranma][Pokewomen][Crossover][Dark][Lemon]No Turning Back Prologue 1

[David Nolen]

Hmm...

Aside from the occasional typo, your writing is technically flawless.

I find the idea of the Pokegirl universe to be something quite viable
and interesting in its own right.  The inclusion of Ranma, or any anime
really but mostly Ranma, has always been its major weakness...and yes, I
mean the blatent pokemon inclusions as well.  So, I tend to roll my eyes
whenever I see yet another pokegirl fic that includes yet another anime
or another set of anime girls in a harem when the whole thing is ripe
for branching out in more imaginative ways rather than trying to rewrite
"Wild Horses and Pokegirls," which started this whole mess, and should
have had its innate flaws abandoned at first opportunity when it became
something far more.  You showed that you have this capacity with the
rewriting of the Sukebe mythos, as well as boys from Berkley, and I
found their adventures far more interesting than those of the Ranma
gang.

One of the most massive criticisms I have of this, is that, if I'm to
judge your politics on your fic here, you are a, heh, Progressive, that
blames all the world's troubles on some neo-con agenda or cave manish
mindset stupidity.  The original premise of what Sukebe did, was not
some neo-con or ultra progressive vision of How Things Were or How
Things Should Be, but that both those views, and the views that were
wrapped up with them in this thing we call The System were aiding and
abetting each other as we all spiraled down into civilisational and
species obvlivion.  To save us all, that system had to be burned down.

I do not judge that point of view in the context of writing high, or in
this case better stated as possibly 'low,' fiction.  But it also wasn't
slapping me in the face every three seconds...you only find out the
above when someone asks Sukebe why he did it in a side story.  Your
obvious bias has permated your fic to the point that it's become quite
literally an ultra progressive propaganda piece, and I'm uncertain
that's what you were aiming for.

If it was...good job.  I doubt I'll read further if you're going to
include more of that.  If I wanted that, I'd flip on the Main Stream
Media or go listen to your average college professor tell me that the
white male deserves to die and the United States should burn to the
ground for all the evils in the world.  Then I'd convert to Islam.

Just sayin'...you need to tone that down a considerable margin.

K'thardin
"One shall stand, one shall fall."
	-Optimus Prime