[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter 8 (first impressions)

[The Eternal Lost Lurker]

>I see the formatting has corrected itself, but I will mark my 
>(interspersed) comments out better anyway....

Ahh, you got blasted by one of those random "mail client didn't quote" 
glitches? My bad, and my apologies. Those happen to me sometimes too, and it 
gets really annoying.

>> "The sheer number and severity of bizarre incidents in
>> and around this
>> school of late have prompted...an investigation. A
>> *thorough*
>> investigation."
>
> <<HTG: Tim's going to have his work cut out of them if the Senshi are 
> active for more than a year or so at this rate.  Either that, or a 
> quasi-official relationship with the authorites is in order.>>

In keeping with the darker tone, the Senshi are being treated as a more 
serious matter here. Not necessarily to the extent Mutants are persecuted in 
Marvel Comics, but the authorities aren't ignoring them or dismissing them 
as whatever.

>> She sighed. "Man, I really fucked up."
>
> <<HTG: Well, yes... dealing with dangerous Johns is one thing but that 
> rampage was a bit vindictive.>>

Hey, she's a 14-year-old ho who's been getting fucked over, literally and 
figuratively, for two solid years, is fed up with it, and suddenly has the 
equivalent of a tac-nuke to shove up the asses of the people she's mad at. 
"Vindictive" doesn't BEGIN to cover it. :P All things considered, it 
could've been much, MUCH worse.

>> It was minutes past eight, and entry to the building proper
>> had been barred.
>> Uniformed police officers and--more disturbingly--armed
>> soldiers from the
>> JSDF stood guard over the campus and the students.
>
> <<HTG: So definitly no blowing up half the city getting brushed off>>

Yeah, the authorities aren't quite as blind here...

>> *I thought you did not believe in coincidences, Master.*
>>
>> *I don't. That doesn't mean they don't exist.*
>>
>> *So one Senshi remains, and then...*
>
> <<HTG: Neither of them knows about Rei as of yet, or did I miss 
> something?>>

They haven't pegged Rei as a Senshi yet, though Luna HAS been in and around 
the Hikawa grounds. She knows OF Rei, she's SEEN Rei, she knows the girl is 
a strong priestess and fighter, but she hasn't gone back there since she 
found Usagi.

Yet.

>> The short-haired girl's test manual snapped shut, and
>> her gaze locked onto
>> Makoto's face with chilling force. "Do not speak
>> of such things openly,
>> Kino-san," she advised.
>
> <<HTG: I wonder what kind of friends you are setting them up to be....>>

Who says I'm setting them up to be ANY kind of friends? :P

>> *What the hell's HER problem?!*
>
> <<HTG: She does have a fair number of issues, but then Mako-chan is in no 
> position to talk>>

All of our lovely little Senshi are just the tiniest bit broken...

>> Now, Usagi looked VERY alarmed. "Anou...Kino-san...I
>> don't *know* anybody
>> who can do that."
>
> <<HTG: The best laid plans of Mice and Mages....>>

Yeah, Artemis overplayed his hand a little there, and he's about to hear 
about it.

> <<HTG: Then send her to the Moon Rabbit for the trainign wheels to come 
> off whydoncha!>>

He really and truly DOES have a reason for not bringing Mina into the other 
girls' fold. I won't say what it is, and I won't say whether it bodes good 
or ill.

>> Umino spoke at length. As he spoke, Naru's eyes grew
>> progressively wider.
>>
>> *Uso...*
>
> <<HTG: Oh this can complicate matters... esp. given that they have little 
> choice but to associate.
>
> I doubt Usagi will revoke the demon-punding privliges, but Makoto had best 
> level with her and Ami on the night job on her own terms>>

The revelation will be...awkward, to say the least.

>> Timothy chuckled. "Mina...I've been doing this a
>> lot longer than you have.
>> You don't even have your full power yet. Once you do,
>> it'll take you all of
>> ten seconds to beat me bloody."
>
> <<HTG: If he does not blindside anyone with a power-nullifying spell of 
> course....>>

Oh, he's got a whole bag of nasty tricks...

>> you all at once." He paused. "The Princess,
>> Mercury, and Jupiter were all
>> thrust into their roles rather abruptly, in the midst of
>> traumatic emotional
>> shocks. They're handling it fairly well, all things
>> considered,
>
> <<HTG: I get the feeling he is softening things or has a rather scary 
> definition of poorly.>>

You said it, I didn't.

>> want to have to find out
>> how much pressure you can take before you crack." An
>> old, deep pain filled
>> his eyes. "I never want to watch someone break under
>> pressure again. Not
>> someone I care about."
>
> <<HTG: Ah, the Old Shame/MyGreatestFailure bit.

Assuming he's sincere. Never assume Artemis is sincere. He's a Bill-class 
rat bastard.

>> The two girls went their separate ways.
>
> <<HTG: Why does this look the the beginning of one of Makoto"s first real 
> friendships in some time?  For that matter Usagi seems the closest thing 
> Ami has to a friend at all.  Sounds about right.>>

Pretty much.

>> The princess and the youma shared a glance.
>>
>> "I want to have a word with your
>> 'Master'," Usagi said, a cold fire in her
>> eyes--eyes which were suddenly blue and sharp, despite her
>> not having
>> transformed. "As soon as possible. No excuses."
>
> <<HTG: This is going to be even more fun than the Tux-Boy thing....>>

Oh yes indeed. >:)

>> Timothy shrugged. "C'est la vie."
>
> <<HTG: Why do I get the feeling....>>

^______________^

>> Se-ra-V.
>
> <<HTG: Called it.  Too obvious not too.>>

The pun was set up pretty much the SECOND they used it in PGSM four years 
ago. :P

Thanks for the C&C!

================================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com