[FFML] [fanfic][Sailormoon] Moonshadow, chapter 13 (first draft)
David McMillan
skyefire at skyefire.org
Mon Dec 15 04:56:28 PST 2008
The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
>>> "Really. That spiritual garbage is the best you can come up with? How
>>> utterly foolish!"
>> Hm. I don't recall Rei's miko powers being this useless in canon.
>
> We left canon behind a LONG-ass time ago :P
I keep forgetting....
>>> "Yes, Venus, nice to meet you, save it for later, we've got to help Mars!
>>> Fast!"
>> Heh. You could just about leave out the commas in that sentence...
>
> Well, the one after 'Yes' is a comma splice, but the rest of them need to be
> there or the sentence would read very strangely.
I was thinking more of Luna talking fast enough that the commas kind of
fell by the wayside.
> Luna IS a youma, remember? You didn't think there wouldn't be more than one
> demon panther running around, did you?
I did, actually. Not that I ever stopped to really *think* about it.
>>> "--or we're gonna skin us a couple of cats!"
>> They're *tag-teaming* the Senshi Speech! Oh, my HEAD....
>
> Usagi and Mina get a little...silly in tandem.
*Little*? <checks sarcasm meter>
> Venus' attacks are going to be a running joke. She's the only native English
> speaker among the Senshi, so naturally she's the only one whose attacks get
> Engrished to hell and gone.
Oh, poor Mina.
>>> One of the panthers had reappeared, covered in bleeding gashes and
>>> limping
>>> badly on one leg. "Or did you forget why you came--BEHIND YOU!"
>> Luna's looking worse for wear.
>
> Getting rolled down the shrine steps by a broodsister at full strength will
> do that.
Ah. I had forgotten that Luna's not running on all cylinders, what
with Art keeping on a leash and all.
>> Secondly... BWA!?!? Team Nemesis? Wow, you're squashing *all* the
>> seasons together. Next we'll find out that Beryl is actually Galaxia or
>> soemthing.
>
> Actually, no. Moonshadow is only going to deal with two story arcs: Dark
> Kingdom and Deathbusters. The use of the Ayakashi Sisters' names for the
> shadowbrood is more or less an Easter egg, since I have absolutely no
> intention to use any characters or plot elements from Sailormoon
> R--ESPECIALLY Chibiuseless.
Ah.
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