[FFML] [DRAFT][RGU/AzuDai][plea for help] Revolutionary Girl Osaka - ch. 2

[Jared Waddell]

I don't usually whine, and try to avoid posting incomplete stuff, but I'm completely blocked. The last two scenes have been cut. The third-to-last is incomplete. I'm not sure I like how Kaorin is portrayed, and as for Sakaki... the original idea was to have Kaorin give a big speech, and Osaka misunderstands and thinks that Sakaki is an alchoholic, and pledges her support. But it's not funny, and I can't figure how to wrangle any funny from what's there. 

Ideas? Thoughts? 

---------- 

Episode 2: "Cue Evil Music" 

---------- 
[Peace and Love Incorporated.] 

She was motion. She was violence. She was the hunter. 
Today, her prey would not escape her. 
If you think a tall, busty girl with waist-length hair crouched like a 
feral animal upon the school's walls will attract attention, then you 
haven't been to Ohtori Academy. In Ohtori, you don't attract attention, 
it singles you out, surrounds you by roses. 
Such was the case with the graceful, mysterious, and very famous 
Sakaki-san. As she crouched on the wall, preparing to pounce upon an 
unsuspecting purple monkey, so bright orange roses seemed to frame her. 
And then a hand rocketed into the scene, almost impacting with 
Sakaki-san's cheek, and dispelling the illusion of cool. 'Almost' 
impacting, because it was caught by Sakaki-san herself several inches 
from her face. She gave the hand's owner, a scowling Koyomi, a glance of 
mild contempt. Or perhaps irritation. Or perhaps exasperation. Or 
perhaps nothing at all. 
"Do you require something?" Sakaki-san said in a very soft, quiet voice 
that even Yomi almost didn't hear. 
"Yeah. Quit picking on my pet, you bully." 
Sakaki-san let her eyes focus on the place the small monkey should have 
been. But an enterprizing student had set a small standing advertisement 
where the rodent-like animal had been sitting. A cutout in the exact 
shape of the purple animal was present in the advertisement, mimicking 
the pose of the monkey exactly as it had been when Sakaki-san was last 
looking at it. 
Three blinks of surprise passed before brain and sensory organs 
negotiated a peace. Then the mouth shouldered it's way into the 
conversation. 
"Yomi, that was kind of rude." Sakaki-san noted. 
"So is trying to kidnap my pet!" Yomi insisted. 
"I only wanted to pet it," Sakaki-san replied. 
"That's what you said about the turtle," Yomi said, and images of a tiny 
tombstone with the shape of a turtle and a name 'Ranma' carved into it 
came to mind, unbidden. 
"I said I was sorry about the turtle." 
"And the mouse." Another image in her mind's eye, this time of a smaller 
tombstone, next to the turtle one, with a mouse and an illegible name. 
"I said I was sorry about the mouse too." 
"And the dog? And the birds? And fish?" Yomi was nearly in tears, 
remembering the tiny graveyard, mineature tombstones littering the 
ground as if to ward off spirits, theives, or future pets. 
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sakaki-san, finally sliding off the wall to 
stand besides Yomi. She picked up her bookbag. "I didn't kill your cat, 
at least." 
They both remembered the cat. Fur that defied the fingers' attempts at 
grasping, claws that could rend flesh, pass through cloth like it was 
smoke, and teeth that could probably punch holes in armor plating. Both 
girls shuddered in perfect unison. 
"He just looked... lonely," Sakaki-san sighed. 
"Yeah. We'll play with Chu-Chu later, okay?" Yomi offered. 
---------- 
[Not a Plant.] 

"You look like a sunflower," Osaka announced at the end of a very boring 
Tuesday. 
Sakaki, who had been packing away her notebook when these words floated 
to her ears, gave pause. "Excuse me?" 
Osaka began to sweat and twitch as Sakaki's gaze found her. "You... look 
like... a sunflower?" She quickly pointed over her shoulder. "She 
suggested I use it to break the ice!" 
The tall girl spared a glance at Tomo, who grinned from ear to ear and 
gave Sakaki two thumbs up in reply. "Ok," Sakaki said quietly. "Thanks." 
"Now that the ice is broken, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out 
for a bit." 
Sakaki looked at the Osaka-shaped hole in the air. She then looked 
around the classroom, finally sighting the girl crouched under a desk. 
"Hang out?" 
"Play with Chu-Chu," Osaka elaborated. "I'm supposed to do my homework 
with Yomi this afternoon, and she said you might come over." 
The long-haired girl smiled, causing half of the female students still 
in the emptying classroom to swoon. "Yes. I will be there." Osaka let 
out a sigh like a soldier finding out the landmine they stepped on was a 
dud. "And there's no need to be afraid of me. I'm no sunflower, but I 
won't hurt you." 
"Thanks. It's more roses, anyway," said Osaka as she pulled herself out 
from under the desk/shield from Ultimate Doom. 
Sakaki's eyes narrowed. "Roses?" 
Osaka made twirling motions with both hands. "Yeah, those one's spinning 
around your face." 
Sakaki went quiet. The classroom went quiet. Osaka began to sweat as 
Sakaki aimed another stoic, possibly murderous gaze at her. A quiet, 
repetitive cracking sound began to fill the room. Then Osaka and Sakaki 
spied Kaorin carving on a large stone, a tombstone by the looks of it, 
with Osaka's name featured prominently across the top. 
"What?" Kaorin said after a minute of staring. "You were going to 
challenge her, weren't you, Sakaki-sama?" 
"Maybe," Sakaki said behind her hands, eyes downcast. "I'm not a 
sunflower." 
Tomo had a camera out in time to imortalize the confused look on 
Kaorin's face. 
---------- 
[A Very Scary Thought.] 

Ever since her arrival, Osaka had been pondering the meaning of the 
strangely spinning roses that had seemed to pester the members of the 
student council that she ran across. They were useful in their own way, 
identifying important people like a children's RPG video game, but... 
disturbing. They couldn't be ordinary roses. The hundreds of rose bushes 
scattered throughout the school did not become the spinning markers of 
Important People. 
A thought occured to her. A very scary thought. What if the roses 
weren't roses at all, but some fiendish biological weapon? Nah. She 
shook her head. That simply couldn't be. 
"OSAKA!" Chiyo-chan yelled at a range of six inches. Osaka recoiled from 
the scream, startled. 
"ROSES!" Osaka yelled in reply, her realization forgotten in a wave of 
panic. "Get down!" 
Osaka flattened the small girl. 
Nearby students stared. 
"Osaka..." 
"Yes?" 
"Get off of me. Now." 
"Okay." Osaka hopped to her feet. "Sorry. There were roses." 
"... You're weird." 
"I know." 
"I will still revolutionize the world!" 
"That's nice." Osaka smiled. It was a good thing to have goals at such a 
young age. "Well, I'd better be going." 
"Osaka," Chiyo called to the taller girl. "Most people don't mind the 
roses, barely notice them, in fact." 
"I'm not most people," Osaka said bright, before continuing on her way. 
"Indeed..." 
---------- 
[Secret Agent Tomo-chan.] 

"Do not worry, oniichan! Your beautiful Oneechan, Tomo, will get to the 
bottom of this mystery! All of ______ secrets will bared, and your 
precious student council will be safe forever!" 
So it was that Tomo remembered her promise. Her brother never seemed to 
ask her for anything. So, she had to learn to read his moods and keep an 
eye on what happened in his day-to-day. She read his journal, spied on 
him at all times of the day, pumped everyone who came in contact with 
him for information, bugged his book bag... 
Of course, he always caught her spying. And now he checked everything he 
owned for listening devices. He kept multiple decoy journals. Come to 
think of it, he was a nervous wreck now, always messing with that silly 
stopwatch and running his hand through his increasingly messy hair. 
Probably something to do with school, the silly boy. The stress was 
going to kill him one of these days. Tomo-oneechan had vowed to make his 
life easier, and to do that, she had to keep an eye on him. She was 
always so worried about her precious oniichan. If only he would quit 
speaking to his friends in code and staying up late every night combing 
his every worldly possesion for eavesdropping devices...muttering 
inanely to himself...and the growing dark circles under his eyes were 
_so_ unbecoming. 
Tomo snapped out of her revere when "Osaka" entered the room. Covertly, 
she fondled her spy camera, ready to get some identifying picture for 
contacts to do research with. Perhaps this "Osaka had struck elsewhere 
already? She finally hoisted the eight-pound metal camera onto her desk, 
the film advance again jammed. Stupid spy camera, always breaking down 
at the worst of times. Shoot! "Osaka" was already in her seat! 
"What's that there on your desk?" Osaka asked politely. 
"What? What's on my desk?" Tomo said, stalling for time while she jerked 
frantically on the film advance lever. The camera complained loudly with 
a sound normally heard out of bridges in a state of eminent collapse. 
Osaka squinted at the large device. "Yeah, that thing on your desk. Is 
that a car engine or a camera?" 
Tomo regarded the massive camera as if it had been set there but a 
second ago when she wasn't looking, instead of being beat on repeatedly 
by her hands for the past thirty seconds. She stalled for more time. 
"Yes! There's a car engine on my desk. But you can't see it!" 
"Oh really?" Osaka said. She pointed at the camera. "What's that thing, 
then? It looks like a camera." 
The lense snapped off in Tomo's hand. That gave her an idea. "WELL," she 
began loudly. "It's not really a camera, but it uses lenses... to bend 
light and stuff so it makes things invisible. This is the... thing, 
yeah, that you see, you see, but there's... uh, something it's making 
invisible, I thought you were asking about it!" Tomo laughed nervously 
and rubbed the back of her head with one hand. Thank God Miki was a SF 
nut, and thank God she had perused everything he came into contact with. 
"Really?" Osaka said, staring raptly at the device. 
Tomo looked at the hand that had just been in her hair and saw that it 
was covered in something as black as tar and nearly as sticky. "Uh, 
yeah." She said, distracted. "I'm... looking after it." 
More students were filing in, some noting Tomo's "spy camera" and 
snickering to themselves. 
"Wow. This school is sure full of interesting people." Osaka remarked 
before pulling out her notebook. 
The roll of flim that had jammed in the old camera choose that moment to 
come loose, exploding from it's metal prison like a rock launched from a 
catapult, and landed in Tomo's lap. 
---------- 
[A Friend in Need...] 

Osaka stood at one end of the rose garden, patiently waiting the 
arrival of her next challenger. Yomi stood beside her, respendent in a 
flowing red gown. Her nose was stuck firmly in a study book. 
At the other end of the field, Kaorin marched through the gate, a light 
blush touching her cheeks. She was wearing her school uniform, though 
with brilliant gold epaulets and a white fringe to most of her skirt and 
top. 
"Hey, Kaorin! Neat clothes!" Osaka cried, waving at the girl. A cold 
glare was returned. 
"Don't think you have any chance of winning, Osaka." 
Osaka dropped her waving arm. It was getting a bit tired. "Wow, is 
Sakaki-san a really good sword fighter?" 
"The best," Kaorin snapped. "And she's had quite enough trouble without 
this Rose Bride business--" At this, Yomi jerked her head out of the 
book and looked around like she was expecting rabid crows to descent 
from the sky and start attacking her at any second. "--so I'd appreciate 
it if you'd stop this nonsense." 
Osaka turned to the Rose Bride herself for clarification. "Yomi, what 
did she say?" 
"She wants us to give up." Yomi directed a glare at Kaorin. "Why?" 
"I don't want Sakaki-san's feelings to be hurt!" 
"It's okay," said Sakaki, entering the arena. 
"Sakaki-san..." Kaorin breathed in reverence, which could be taken several 
ways... the breathing, not the reverence. Perverts. 


--- 

Well? 
I'm going to give this a go tonight, but I doubt I'll have a big breakthough. HELP!

Later,
Rick "All hail Cheezor!" Spiff

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