[FFML] [OOT] [AU] [Humor] Link's New Job!

[Cute Neko Hibiki]

Disclaimer : I don't own them, and I'm poor.



Neko : This is not to be taken seriously, this is a humor fic and not 
serious.

Sirius Black : *Pops his head up from the woodwork* Of course it's not me, 
I'm in Azkaban.

Neko : *Shoves Sirius back into the woodwork now* Hehehe. Ummm... Just 
ignore him folks. Now, on with the fic... have fun!^_^

Neko : Oh, Link also thinks and talks like a southerner in this fic, so 
don't tell me I'm spelling words wrong. That's just Link's words and 
thoughts. So don't flame me about the spelling.

Link : Ah do naht talk like a southerner! Yah tahke tha back now, ya hear! 
Hmmmppphhh!



Link's New Job

by

Cute Neko Hibiki



Prologue



 Link was sleeping, when Malon splashed him with a bucket of cold water.

 "What'd ya do tha fer!" Link shouted.

 "It's time you got up and got a job!" scolded Malon. "I won't have a 
husband of mine lay around in his bed all the time! Get out, and start 
working now!"

 "Crazy chick." Link mumbled as he got up. "I'm th fuckin Hero of Time, an I 
git no fuckin r-spect. Now I gotta gi meself ah job."

 Link got up, and then went downstairs to eat, drink, and look at the want 
ads in the morning paper.

 Link heated some leftovers up in the microwave.

 Link smiled looking at the microwave, and thanked the Goddesses of Hyrule 
for the Terran Confederation opening his world up for trade. Hyrule had 
improved vastly in the last seven years. It had now gone from backwards to a 
technological power.

 The timer sounded, and Link took his leftover out of the device. "Ummm, tha 
smells goohd." he remarked.

 After he ate, drank, and washed himself up in the bathroom, Link decided to 
put on some clothes. He usually didn't bother since he stayed at the ranch, 
and Malon was a devout nudist. And expected all her workers, visitors, and 
guests to be too.

 After dressing himself up in his leather outfit consisting of leather 
pants, cotton t-shirt, leather jacket, leather headband, cotton socks, 
Reebok shoes, and leather fingerless gloves (all in black), Link proceeded 
out the door. He went to the garage, pausing only long enough to admire 
Malon's great 'view'. 'Mahn.' he thought to himself. 'She surh iss stahked. 
Ah'm -glaad- she decyded ta be a nudist, and ta marry me! Don't bother me 
none iffin she sleeps aroun aloht. I geht ta sleep aroun too quight aloht 
now.' He grinned pervertedly and reached the garage.

 Opening the door he went in, and went to a tarp covered object. He pulled 
the tarp off, revealing a new Harley Davidson. It was all black, with the 
words 'EPONA II' written on it in gold.

 Link checked it out, then nodded satisfied that nothing was wrong, and got 
on and started it up. He put on his helmet, and a pair of black shades. He 
then switched on his mp3 player, and 'Born to be Wild' played from the 
bike's speakers.

 Link rode out of Lon Lon Ranch, and headed toward town.  He sped on down 
the highway, swerving this way and that to avoid colliding with a car. His 
mp3 player cycled and now it was playing 'Eye of the Tiger'.

 Link was thinking of Malon, and felt 'Little Link' stir. 'Down bohe.' he 
thought. 'Nowhs nah th time. I'll fin ya a tavern girhl once Ah geht inta 
towne.'

 His mp3 cycled and now it was playing 'Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now'.



To Be Continued...