Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][Tenchi]Sketches of Tenchi 13: Tenchi's Excellent Adventure
From: Bert Miller
Date: 2/18/2007, 3:02 PM
To: DB Sommer

DB Sommer wrote:
Hey, I'm only (counts on more than one hand) 6 months late with this. 
Probably too late to add anything, but at least I can plug it.
Better late than never!  (I'm sure every writer on this list feels that 
way.)  And always a pleasure to hear from you!

And while listenifn to the Chevelier soundtrack, we begin

Bert Miller wrote:

Two months ago:

That would make it eight months by now. :)

He's headed out into
inter-galactic space!  This is the first time we've ever failed to
solve one of our cases!"

"But, on the plus side, nobody got hurt, either," the calmer woman
replied with a pleased tone, tossing her long black hair to one

AH yes, the good old DP. I'm almost sorry i finished that story with 

Finishing stories. *sigh* I really need to come up with smaller ideas.

"Not good enough!"  The red-head slammed her right fist into her
open left palm.

% I'm not sure if it's really necessary to say which fist into which 
hand. It doesn't really add anything, even descriptive imagerywise. 
Just make it fist into palm, I think
Hmm... you're probably right; it does seem to slow things down 

Eventually the Lovely Angels retrieved the message-pod and opened
it.  Holographic words appeared in the air above the capsule.

"What the hell is this?!" Kei screamed in frustration, hammering
her control panel.  "'I, Rikudo Koshi, do hereby give my
permission... episode of...'  WHAT?  What is this scum of the
galaxy talking about?"

% Ha! Nice cameo.
Heh.  Kind of obligatory, I felt, for an Excel Saga fic, however twisted.

Aboard the ship, Sandora was laboriously running down the
pre-flight checklist.  He nodded, and Poemi, carefully consulting
the instruction manual, hit the anti-grav.  The ship began to rise
from the asteroid's dark, rugged plain.

% You're an evil, evil person BTW.
Heh.  Again, thank you.

- - - - - - - - - -
Five days ago:

On the planet Aineas, the main doors of the towering skyscraper
which housed the headquarters of the Galactic Organization
for Tariffs and Trade (GOTT) swished open.  A blinking, pale
man stumbled in and looked around.  Seeing a pair of young-
looking, uniformed girls manning an information desk on the far
side of the lobby, he headed in that direction.

"Maybe you should go home, Lumiere,"

% Yep. Thought as much. That series could have been good, but it 
definitely lacked something.
Yes, it definitely had a lot of potential, crippled by some unbelievably 
bad choices.
A lot of good material for fanfic there, I think, though I've no 
near-term plans to mine
it myself.

% No, not fanservice.
Heh.  True; it's not lacking that.

As the visitor approached, Eclair, a well-build

% built
Caught already, by another reviewer (but there's no penalty for being 

- - - - - - - - - -
Three days ago:

"He's what?" Eclair asked blankly.  "Under someone's control?"

"There's no doubt about it," Lumiere replied, her hands spread out
above a bank of sensor readouts.  The two girls stood before a
window, looking into a laboratory where Pedro lay strapped into a
chair, bristling with probes and other detection devices inserted
into various parts of his anatomy.

Many of them were wires that ended in phallic shaped devices. Eclair 
always thought Lumiere a secret tenticle fetishist, but she avidly 
denied it.
Heh.  The scene does lend itself to that imagery, doesn't it?

"No, I think Pedro here is being directed, and occasionally
completely animated, by another transcendental entity, one of the
most mysterious ones we know."

% Can't be that mysterious if they know about him.
Well, they know OF her, but not much more than the identification...

Lumiere took a deep breath.  "Well, our official records only go
back that far, of course.  But I remember having conversations
with Hyatt from long before that.  LONG before."

% Heh

"You'd subject the entire galaxy to Mihoshi's thought processes?!"
Kiyone interrupted, appalled.

% Kiyone needs a taste of Excel. She'd find Mihoshi a rational, 
logical, breath of fresh air.

Abruptly there was a commotion behind Menchi, who glanced back.
A pack of large, brutal-looking armored dogs were biting and
snarling their way through the observers.  From the insignia they
wore, they were Scar's enforcers.  Menchi shrunk back.  Scar was
a brutal overlord, ruler of several nearby valleys, with a
reputation for ruthlessness.  It was no surprise that Scar would
be interested in exploiting the knowledge to be gained from these
strange creatures.  Menchi wondered if there were any way to keep
it out of Scar's hands.

% This is just plain surreal at times. Also looks like you had a lot 
of fun.
Yes, this was a fun story to write.  I'm amazed at how well the fusions 
at times.

- - - - - - - - - -
on a bare hilltop

% On

"But they were trees back then, not humanoid," Washuu continued.
"Which is why we didn't recognize them immediately."

% Yeah, that would do it.

Washuu looked sheepish.  "Neither do I."

% Heh. The problem with longevity
I had a lot of fund with Washuu forgetting things, too; not a 
characteristic one associates with her.

"So what's it mean?" Ryouko asked in interest.

"YOU are hardly in need of a coarser vocabulary," Aeka noted

Tsunami blushd harder.  "It has to do with... how trees make more

% hehehehe. Nice touch.
Heh.  Thanks.

Far off in intergalactic space, Puni-puni Poemi and Menchi
reappeared deep within a cold, apparently-deserted asteroid,
face to face with a immense construct, partly electronic, partly
biological, mostly neither.  A cord appeared next to Poemi,
apparently hanging down from the ceiling.  She pulled it.

All around the central core of Excel, space itself weakened, its
most fundamental properties altered.  Light leaked through from
somewhere else.  A hole in space itself appeared, into which
Excel's central core, and Menchi, were irresistably sucked.

"No!  I've failed you, most glorious Il Palazzo!  Your faithful
Excel regrets this and promises to do better next time!  But
irregardless of where this hole in space is taking me, at least
I have an emergency food supply!" came drifting faintly back
through the hole in space.

% Heh. Nice way to dispose of her.
Again, pulling the cord just seemed inevitable (though she does always
seem to crawl back out eventually...)

- - - - - - - - - -
And back on the Kyoko, Eclair was just finishing explaining their
circumstances to the others.  "We have no ship now, and, well,
GOTT has outlawed us again.  So you see..."

Lumiere turned to Tsunami and Washuu and gave them a bow, smiling.
"Please allow us to accompany you, Mistresses."

"Of course you can," Tsunami smiled at the pair.  Washuu, on the
other hand, turned to glance at Tenchi, snickering as she did so.

"More?" Tenchi asked in disbelief.

THE END (for now).

% And only for now. :)
Always!  :)

- - - - - - - - - -
% Very nice, enjoyable work, even if Tench took a backseat. Always 
fun to read this series.

DB Sommer

Thank you again for writing and commenting!

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