Subject: [FFML] Re: [Original] The Replacement King
From: "Matthew Miller" <mille2ml@gmail.com>
Date: 2/16/2007, 3:00 PM
To: StudioPC
CC: FFML <ffml@anifics.com>

On 2/15/07, StudioPC <studiopc@sbcglobal.net> wrote:
Author's note at end. C&C welcome.


Since the first story was told, storytellers have made much of destiny.

It has been twisted, redirected, denied, passed on, defied, and of
course, accepted.

But not refused, never refused . . .

T2 springs to mind.

The driver stepped out and Merlin felt his breath catch. Yes, it was
him. This life had cut his hair short, and the chin was far too
square, but it was him. He wore a jacket emblazoned with the logo of
Mount Ryland University and the helmet that proclaimed its wearer a
member of the football team.

He was wearing his football helmet while driving?

"Forget it. I'm gonna play football. I remember those legends, old
man. Even if I am Arthur, there's no way I'm gonna get caught in that
trap again." Arthur ran back to his car and sped out of the clearing.

You know, if destiny was this easy to avoid, a few guys like Oedipus
and Hector would have had much happier lives.

Mount Ryland University was the brainchild of Samson Ryland, a
billionare from the second world war who had gotten it into his head
that a mountain would be the perfect place to build a factory powered
by geothermal power plant.

Seems like a good idea to me.


All in all, it was very impressive.

Merlin wasn't impressed.

Must not be that impressive.

"Your meal ticket."

"Tristan, I am hurt, cut to the quick. I, who have known you since
you were a wee lad in the sandbox."

"You were my first roomate freshman year, and that was because the RA
decided that the out of town guy was the perfect roommate for you."

That's usually hyphenated. out-of-town guy

"Hail Tristan," Merlin intoned, dropping to one knee. "Hail the Lord
of Camelot, and the One True King!"

Well, this could go either way. The dialogue worked very well so you
have that to bank on. I'm dubious about any destiny that can be
avoided as easily as a football player saying "No" to. Obviously meant
to imply that the sword had a destiny more than Arthur, that kind of
defeats the purpose of destiny. We'll see how it plays out.

Tristan, of And Isolde fame I presume, might be a very interesting
character and he might not. Jenny seems to be a Nabiki clone, which
also can go either way.

Are you getting the whole ambivalence thing yet? I'd read the next
chapter or two, trying to see how everything breaks down. Still, you
managed to snag interest, which is the whole point of a
teaser/prologue.

Miashara

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