Woo, Robotech.  This is what really got me into anime lo those many years 
ago.  It still remains one of my favorite cartoon/anime series of all time.

A note on my C&C style:  I make comments as I read this.  Also, understand 
that any and all C&C is only meant to be constructive; feel free to 
cheerfully ignore it.

My name is Roy Harris, and I am dying.

Well, that certainly gets my attention.  =)

We left earth shortly after that.

Earth

324 miles to go.

As a rule of thumb, don't begin sentences with a number.  If you do, spell 
it out:  "Three-hundred twenty-four miles to go."

When I was 17 we dealt

Another rule of thumb: spell out all numbers below twenty.  "When I was 
seventeen..."

My name is Roy Harris, and I'm not dead yet.

Cool. I was rooting for you.  =)

Okay, technical comments first.  This story was quite free of spelling and 
grammatical errors; you are to be commended.  Just watch that numbers thing. 
  It was nicely structured, with an attention-grabbing opening line.

I kinda wonder, though, what the point of the flashback regarding the 
gravity accident was.  It was a gruesome image to be sure, but I'm not 
certain what it added to the story.

You're clearly very knowledgeable about Robotech, which as someone who's 
been a fan for twenty years I appreciate very much.  The McKinney books are 
much-maligned in certain circles of Robotech fandom but I like them very 
much, and love seeing material from those books in fanfic.

Emotionally, it was quite gripping.  You're not certain if Roy is going to 
survive or not; nice job of building the dread anticipation.  His survival, 
while unrealistic in the real universe, is par for the course in the 
Roboverse.  (I still wanna know how Rick's canopy didn't get ripped off when 
he opened while doing a power dive straight towards the ground.)

I'm wondering why this is a one-shot; it sounds like the beginning of a 
story arc.  Do you have more stories after this?

Nice job.  Always glad to read good Robotech fanfic.  I hope you write more.

-Richard



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