And here ya goes.
Descent -- Chapter Four
Revel, Revelation, Revolution
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Brian Randall
Disclaimers: The paints, as always, are the property of Takahashi
Rumiko; I'm merely a peasant with an easel.
------------------------------------------------
The first thing I figure when I wake up is that I managed to screw
things up. I mean, you jump from a rooftop, you hit the ground
without bracing yourself or anything, and you splat, right?
Only, that didn't happen.
Instead, I wake up in my room. Hungover, a bit, but not as bad
as.... Well. No need to revisit that ass. Whoever he was.
Good for you, Ukyou. You can drag yourself back home when you're
drunk and try to kill yourself.
My mouth feels like it's been stuffed with cotton, and my stomach
lets me know it wants to empty itself out. Not that there's anything
in it but sake. When I sit up I see that I left myself a pitcher of
water and a cup, so I drink a little -- that calms my stomach down a
bit and gets the cotton taste out of my mouth.
I guess you do funny things when you're drunk. I set out some water
for myself, but didn't even bother to undress? Then the smell hits me
from the kitchen, and my stomach rebels.
I run to the bathroom without looking downstairs and throw up.
Great -- Konatsu came back.
Maybe I shouldn't really complain, but I have enough trouble trying
to get by, and if he hadn't found me and pulled me back home, then I'd
be.... I'd be....
Well, anyway, it's not what I wanted.
So I wash my face, wait until the smell of cooking okonomiyaki
doesn't make my stomach churn, and march downstairs to give him hell.
Only the guy standing behind the grill and looking at me with the
flat-eyed stare isn't Konatsu, it's Ranchan.
***
I figured after I caught Ucchan and she passed out that she needed
help. Hell, Konatsu told me as much, so it's not like I could pretend
nothing was going on. Ucchan's way too strong to just try and kill
herself, right?
So, what went wrong?
"Nice to see you up," I tell her when she stomps down the stairs and
then gapes at me with her mouth hanging open. "You should eat
something after your little bender."
"D...." And she half sits, half falls onto one of her little stools
across the grill from me. Funny, things look different from this
side, but I guess it's how she usually looked at me when I think about
it.
When she doesn't say anything else right away, I slide the
okonomiyaki I made her across the counter. "One seafood special," I
tell her. "Time to restock, you're getting low on ingredients."
"I only do lunches now," she mumbles, turning to stare at the
okonomiyaki. "Gives me more time to myself." After another minute of
blank staring, she pushes the okonomiyaki away and pulls a pack of
cigarettes from her robe. She fumbles for a lighter for a minute,
while I try and figure out what the hell happened. It's only been ...
uh ... a month or three, now that I think about it. I mean. I
haven't _seen_ Ucchan since ... I almost married Akane.
And that's something that shakes me a bit. I didn't think about it,
because I don't want to. I kept thinking for a long while that I'd
talk to her, we'd somehow get back together. Back together. Like we
were ever that together in the first place.
"You know," I say conversationally, "you look pretty lousy, Ucchan."
"Don't call me that," she says, almost reflexively, taking a deep
drag of her cigarette before she stubs it out on the grill and leans
over her okonomiyaki, shooting me an angry glower. "And what the hell
do you think you're doing here? Shouldn't you be with that stupid
bitch you abandoned me for -- again?"
"She doesn't seem to need me right now," I snap back.
"Oh, and I do?"
"Well, unless you're practicing some obscure form of drunken martial
arts that involves throwing yourself twenty stories down, yeah, I
think you do," I say bluntly. "Even if you _do_ think I'm dirty.
It's not like anyone else has to know."
That makes her stare at me. "What?"
"Yeah, whatever," I mutter back, crossing my arms over my chest. "I
may be dirty, but did I foul your grill so bad that you put out a
cigarette on it? I mean, come on, Ucchan. We were _friends_ once."
And I realize that as sad as it is, I'd like that back. Even though
without her interference, I would have been married to Akane.
Married to Akane before she found out, and then where would we be?
Mom knew, and still split up with Pops once that came out. Would
Akane do the same?
She blinks and stares at the butt on the grill, like she just noticed
it. "Damn." Then she shakes her head and stands, like she's gearing
up for a big argument. "Friends, Ranchan? _Friends_? Is that why
you abandoned me?"
"Hey, you gave up on you," I tell her. "I didn't."
She looks like I just slapped her, and slams her palms onto the
counter. One of them lands right in the middle of the okonomiyaki I
just made her. "Where were you?" she screams at me. "Where were you
when I needed you?"
"Catching you from a long fall," I shoot back.
"That's not what I meant, Jackass! Why did you invite me to your
engagement party, and not even tell me off? Why did you just fucking
_forget_ about me?"
I don't have a good answer for that one. "I fucked that one up," I
admit, looking away.
"You got that right," she grumbles. "Jackass."
"Well," I say, shrugging. "I saved your life. I should probably go now."
***
Everything always happens all at once. Weeks of nothing, and now all
of the sudden he's back. And just as fast, he's going back to Akane.
"I hope you and your bitch have a happy life," I snarl at him, shaking
the sauce off my hand. "Try not to abandon your kids like you did
me."
And then he flinches, which is funny. I've been trying to get
through to him and try to make him hurt as bad as he hurt me, and
nothing else worked. Why that? But I'm pressing the advantage, not
thinking about it.
"I know that's what you're good at-"
"I'm my father's son, but that doesn't make me him," he snaps back.
"What the hell does that mean?" I ask. "You're trying to pass that
off onto him? Pretend that you're all pure and innocent, and it's
_his_ problem?"
"That was the plan," he says, furrowing his brow. "I mean, it'll be
easy. Change my name, avoid people I know ... Pops taught me that
much."
I can only stare at him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I finally ask.
"Well, I'm getting yelled at by someone who I just saved, who _used_
to be one of my best friends, but it turns out that she's judging me
just because my father's buraka. Oh, yeah, I'm sure I shouldn't be
surprised, but somehow I thought friendship was worth more than that."
I sit back down shakily, wiping my hand on my robe. "Wait,
you're.... You're mura-no-mono?"
He stares back at me like the idiot he is. "You mean, you didn't
know?" he asks.
I scratch my head, probably getting sauce in my hair -- but I don't
care about that at the moment. I need a cigarette, so we stare at
each other until I get another one lit. "I know now," I say quietly.
"Right," he says with a frown. "What the hell are we arguing about?"
"I'm not sure."
Mura-no-mono. That does explain why his father always went off
towards the buraka village when we played as kids, I guess. Father
didn't mind, and we used to sell okonomiyaki to them in the summer
when he was sure no one else would see and judge us. But it still
seems kind of out-of-the-blue.
"W...well. Anyway. I should go." He moves towards the door.
I'm desperate, and sad, but this whole thing is too messed up to just
let him leave. "Wait!"
He stops and looks at me. "Yeah?"
So we stare at each other for a while, until my cigarette burns down.
This one I toss into the sink -- I have to get an ashtray. "Y...you
still owe me."
He gives me that level stare. "You don't care about me being mura-no-mono?"
"No, it's _abandoning_ me, you ass!"
He flinches. "Hey, I, uh.... I made a deal with Nabiki. I'd take
care of Shampoo, and she'd...."
"Take care of me?" I ask acidly. "That worked out really well. Did
you even know I was at your engagement party?"
Big flinch from him on that one. "No," he says quietly. "I was
hoping you'd be there. That you'd.... That you'd be okay with it."
"D...damn," I say, before I can't help myself and start crying again.
I can't even hate him -- he's not malicious, just stupid. "You
_coward_! Don't even have the balls to tell me to my face?"
He looks about as torn up as I feel, so there's that, at least. "I
didn't want to hurt you! I just wanted everything to work out!"
"Well good for you," I sniffle, since the tears won't stop. "You're
just selfish and a coward, and and.... Just go back to Akane
already!"
He turns around and bows his head. Not that he can meet my eyes when
I'm crying. "Maybe I am," he says shakily. "No.... That's not it.
I _was_. But I'm here now, and I'm trying to face up to my screwups.
You're right, Uch--" He slumps. "Ukyou. I do owe you."
"Oh? _Now_ you want to make things up to me? Isn't it a little
late, now that I'm...." But I stop there, and start crying harder,
too much to talk. I gave myself away and became a dirty, filthy....
And he was buraka all that time.... And....
It turns out that there's not really a limit to how stupid you can
feel, after the fact.
"You're what?" he asks softly.
"Dirty," I croak out between sobs.
He snorts. "You don't got nothing that water and soap won't fix.
Now do you want me to do something for you, or leave, already?"
I guess, compared to him being mura-no-mono, me being a slut doesn't
really count for much. A moment of weakness hits me. That's the only
reason I could say what I do. "Can you take care of me?" I ask in a
small voice. I'm really messed up right now, I know that. I guess it
should be pretty damn obvious -- I tried to kill myself.
"You want me around?" he asks, turning to look at me again. And
though Saotome Ranma, man among men would never admit it, I can see
that he's been crying, too.
***
So, we're staring at each other for a while, and she croaks out,
"Akane won't take you, will she?"
"Low blow," I answer. "Isn't it obvious? Hell, I thought you'd be
more uptight than she was."
"Low blow," she replies shakily.
I give her the best smile I can manage -- it's probably fake as all
hell. "Yeah, okay. My bad. If.... I'll take care of you, sure. I
guess you need a new Konatsu, huh?"
"That's not what I need," she mumbles, looking away. "Just.... I
gotta get my head straight."
"Yeah. That's cool." I guess we could both take some time to do
that. I spent a lot of the last few weeks running from things more
than thinking about them. "I can stay here?"
"'Course," she says, staring at the ruined okonomiyaki I made her.
"Um. Thanks."
I take it away before she can try to eat it. "Lemme make you another
one, Ukyou."
"S...sure."
***
So Ranchan can cook. Not as good as me, but better than Konatsu.
And he agrees to take care of me, so that leaves me ... where,
exactly?
I don't know, but I know that he's got a long way to go before
everything between us is square again.
After I finish eating, Ranchan -- I mean, Ranma. Ranma cleans up and
I go for another cigarette. But the pack is empty. "I thought I had
more," I say, searching around the grill for a spare. But I don't
find one, and when I look at Ranma, he's just got this vaguely
superior smile.
"What did you do?" I ask him. "Where are my cigarettes?"
"Smoking is bad for you," he answers with a shrug.
"You stole them, didn't you?"
"I'm supposed to be taking care of you, aren't I?"
What a jackass!
"Oh, whatever," I snap. "You smell like the road. Go take a shower
or something, I need to do some shopping."
He shrugs and goes to wash up. While he's gone, I take some money
from the register and walk down the street to the corner market. The
guy behind the counter won't sell to me, but there's a vending machine
just out of his line of sight, so I've never had a big problem with
it.
I buy three packs, figuring if Ranma's going to be a smartass, I'll
just hide the other two somewhere. I get back and he's still in the
shower, so I light up another one and start cleaning the grill. Sad
as it is, Ranma was right. Putting a cigarette out on the grill ...
what was I thinking?
But I used to take good care of it, so it cleans up nice. Ranma
comes downstairs just as I finish, freshly washed and wearing pajamas.
"Tired already?" I ask, tapping my cigarette out into the sink.
"Only clean clothes I had left," he answers. "'Cept some girly
stuff. I'm using your washing machine. Hope you don't mind."
That's not what would bother me. "Whatever. Tell me what's happened
to you since your engagement party."
***
It takes a while to explain everything, and it's not like I had
anyone else to talk to about the entire thing. There's a little
editing in what I tell her, because I'm still trying to get things
straight in my own head. So I kind of don't talk about Akane that
much.
"...and I know. And that's why I'm there," I finish, shrugging.
"After that, I caught you, you were passed out, so I carried you back
here and...." And what? I hadn't really thought things out.
"Oh," is all she says for a while, though she pulls her cigarettes
from her robe. It takes me a minute to snag all but the one in her
hand, but she doesn't notice. I'm getting pretty good at stealing
stuff.
As she lights up, she glances at her pack and rolls her eyes. But
she doesn't actually tell me to stop. I think I would, if she wanted
it. But she doesn't. So she's at least letting me do my best.
As a compromise, I don't take the packs she thinks she hid under the
grill. I'll let her get one or two from each before I go after them.
Besides, it's better practice for me anyway.
"So, your turn," I say. "What's this about you being dirty? What
did Nabiki do, exactly?"
She doesn't meet my eyes, or smoke. She just stares at the glowing
tip of her cigarette. "I got really drunk," she says quietly.
"Picked up some bad habits. Spent a long time feeling sorry for
myself."
I get the idea she hasn't actually stopped yet. But really, who am I
to judge? "And Konatsu?" I know something happened there, but what
it is could be anything.
She flinches and gives me a look I can't quite read. "We fought," she says.
I tell her everything, and she just gives me a few lines. That
doesn't seem that fair.
"Let me make you the old special," she says suddenly, looking at her
freshly cleaned grill.
It's been a while since I ate, so I just nod and watch her cook.
She's a little rusty, but too skilled to lose it all. It takes a
minute or two for her to get back to where she was, then she flings me
an okonomiyaki.
"It's good," I tell her once I taste it. It is, too.
"You know," she says, staring at the grill, "once I thought you were
going to marry me. I mean, I really believed that you meant it when
you said I was cute. You don't have any idea how much I loved you, do
you?"
My first reflex is to tell her what I've been keeping back -- that I
love Akane. That I loved Akane? No.... I still do, even though I
know it doesn't matter now. Instead of being a jerk about it, I say,
"I think I'm starting to get it."
"Are you?" she asks looking up.
"You felt," and then I pause. She threw herself off a building. Is
it _that_ much different from the plan Pops gave me? Run away from
all my problems with a new name? "You felt like things were so bad
that there was no reason to stick with them," I say. "So why not find
a way out, any way at all? After all, you put your heart in someone's
hands, and they just dropped it, huh? You thought-- You thought you
had love, and you actually didn't matter."
"Yeah," she says tightly, tears in her eyes again.
Damn, I'm an ass.
"You did just...." Then she looks away, wiping at her tears with her
sleeve. She takes an unsteady breath. "You caught me," she admits.
"But I don't know if that's a good thing. You don't actually love
me."
Figures. She wants someone to love, and I just wanted someone to
talk to. But for the time being, we've got each other.
Ugh. How sappy does that sound?
"You're a mess," I tell her. "Your grill cleaned up nice. I bet you
will, too. Why not take a shower and see if you feel better? I'll
clean up the rest of the place." Not that it'll need much work. It's
just dusty, really.
"Jackass," she says halfheartedly. "Yeah. Okay." She goes to the
stairs and looks at me over her shoulder like she's going to say
something. Instead, she just sniffles and shakes her head, then
leaves. A second later I hear running water, and I get to work
cleaning.
It doesn't take long to get the dust off the walls and counters, then
I shake the tatami out the back door and flip it over. Good as new.
Kinda.
But she takes a bit longer to wash up -- I listen at the door for a
second to make sure it sounds like washing and, I don't know, like she
slit her wrists or something. Then I've got nothing to do. I
practice juggling some of her knives while I wait.
When she comes downstairs, she's wearing some of my girly stuff -- a
skirt and a blouse. Kind of small for her, so I make a face. "Why
you dressed like that?"
She blushes, tugging at the hem of her skirt. "I'm trying to clean
up," she says defensively. "I haven't done my laundry in too long,
and your stuff was in the wash." After a moment of pause, she adds,
"I switched it over to the dryer for you."
"Thanks." I wonder if I'll owe her for that one?
"Ranma," she says slowly, staring at her feet, still frozen at the
bottom of the stairs. "Can you.... Can you make me a promise?"
Another one? "I said I'd take care of you, as long as you need me
around," I tell her.
"I don't.... I really don't need another Konatsu," she mumbles
quietly. "And I guess I was stupid to expect what I did from you
before. You just wanted us to be friends, and, and...." She licks
her lips and swallows, raising her face to look at me.
You know, I thought Ucchan was cute, and that wasn't something I said
to get out of a pounding. Well, not just that, anyway. I used to
think of her as a guy, until I found out the truth. Then I thought
she was a friend, and didn't really think about how girly she could
be. That too-short skirt and too-tight blouse make it hard to ignore.
The thing is, the look right now isn't 'cute', exactly. It's
vulnerable, like she's one big opening, afraid of the next hit coming
towards her. When we were yelling at each other over what went on
before, it didn't make me feel like as much of a jerk as seeing her
like that ... all girly and sad. What did I do to you, Ucchan? I
really have a long way to go to make things up.
"I can make you a promise," I say quietly. "I owe you, Ucchan, and
I'm not stupid enough to think that just cleaning your place is going
to make it all even." And then I ask the question that's been nagging
at me for a while: "What _can_ I do for you?"
"R...right now, I think you're right," she says, and I see fear in
her eyes. "I think we should be friends. Y...you're not a servant or
anything like that."
"So, what, you don't want me to clean?"
She blushes at that, and even manages a genuine-looking smile. Good
for you, Ucchan. That makes me feel a little better. "I don't mind
that," she says. "Just, promise me you'll always tell me the truth?
Don't let me.... Don't let me think something that's not going to
happen will. I...." And her eyes go to the floor. "I could screw up
again too easy, I think."
"I'll always tell you the truth," I promise her.
***
And after he says that, I'm not sure where things are going from
there. But it doesn't really matter, because that's when someone
knocks at the door. I don't even have to say a word; he just kind of
shrugs, gives me that crooked smile, and fades away from sight.
Literally. I was staring at him, he got kind of slippery to look at,
and ... poof. Neat trick. Seems like something he probably got from
his father, too.
Things had actually started getting better. Not that it takes a huge
leap to go from 'suicide attempt' to 'better', I guess. Of course,
that meant it was time for something to go wrong.
When I open the door, it's none other than my good 'friend' from the
night of Ranchan's engagement party. "What do you want?" I say before
I can think of anything else.
He looks me over, the same way he did when I was drunk ... only this
time I think I see it for what it is. "Business calls," he says with
a shrug, smiling. "But I knew I could track you down. I didn't mean
to leave you behind."
"Yeah, right," I mutter. "I don't think I want to talk to you. Ever."
"Oh, don't be like that!" he protests, giving me another of his
smiles. What, does the jerk practice in front of a mirror or
something? "I forgot, and I sincerely apologize. But I've found you
again, and I think it's time to discuss your movie career."
"M...movie career?" I ask. I mean, who wouldn't? He wasn't just
saying that to get me to sleep with him?
"Absolutely," he says with a nod. "Mind if I come in?"
He walks past me before I can really answer, and against my better
judgment, I let him. I mean, Ranchan's still here somewhere, right?
So what could go wrong? "Yeah."
"Nice outfit," he tells me, eyeing Ranchan's too-small clothes on me.
"In fact, you could use them in the next piece I'm casting."
I look down at it. It's just a Furinkan girl's uniform. "Isn't
there.... Isn't there an audition, or something?"
"You passed that one with flying colors," he says with a nod. "Even
if it was your first time. You've had a bit more practice since then,
right?"
And that's.... That's when it all comes together for me. "That
movie that was on when you went into the shower," I say slowly. "You
made that one?"
"Directed, produced, and scripted," he says proudly. "I don't act.
Anyway, you're a young, fresh face, you're in stellar physical
condition, and you've got that undeniably innocent cuteness thing
going on. You'll be making money hand-over-fist in no time."
"Oh."
"We can start with something soft if you're nervous. A few beach
scenes, maybe some massage oil.... One thing, you're going to need to
learn how to learn to use your mouth. The guys eat that up. You look
innocent enough that-" He may have tried talking after that. I'm not
sure, because I just sock him as hard as I can.
Some martial artist. That was a crappy punch, one even Gosunkugi
could have avoided. But my 'friend' has a weak jaw and no defense, so
he flies back to the middle of the street. "I never want to talk to
you again!" I yell at him. "Go away you ... you ... filthy,
disgusting ... pervert!" Haha.... Sorry, Akane. Going to borrow
your epithet for a while, 'cause I ran into a real one.
He sits up, his suit all dirty from the street. He wipes the blood
from his lip where I split it and gives me a look like it's nothing
new. "If you change your mind," he says, climbing to his feet and
flinging me a business card. "When you find yourself needing the
money ... I'll be there."
Then he smiles, and I feel cold and dirty again.
I look at the card I caught reflexively, but don't even read it. I
just crumple it up and go back inside, locking the door behind me.
"Damn it," I swear, eyes tearing up.
There really is no limit on feeling stupid. I think I would have
been happier if he was just lying to get me to sleep with him, not
trying to.... I feel sick.
I sit down behind the grill and take a cigarette from one of my hidden packs.
Ranma reappears where he was, doesn't look like he moved at all. He
just stares at the grill between us.
"What do you want?" I snap. Not that I should be angry at him. This
one was all me.
He halfway shrugs, then meets my eyes. I'm not sure what I see
there, but I end up looking away first. "Can I have one of those?"
I snort and almost toss him the pack, but.... "No," I tell him,
staring at my own cigarette. "These things are terrible for you."
"Oh," he says quietly. "Well, I'm going for a walk."
And poof, Ranma, master of not being there, isn't.
I mutter a, "Jackass," I don't even feel, and try to make myself read
the business card that my 'friend' gave me. Only, the thing is, I
can't find it. Must have thrown it away already.
***
Ucchan never told me exactly what did happen, but I was getting more
and more of the picture. This 'producer' guy really nailed it home
for me.
It's one thing to listen to Ucchan say, "You abandoned me!" and then
see her trying to kill herself. It's something else to see the guy
she messed up with, and realize, "Hey, that's my fault." Sounds
messed up ... but I caught her when she jumped. I wasn't anywhere but
... with Akane when she ran into that jerk.
I mean, I could blame Nabiki, I guess, but I was the one who didn't
know how to 'deal' with Ucchan. Yeah, I think Ucchan nailed it when
she said I was selfish. Maybe this whole buraka thing will actually
help me out -- I can become a wandering martial artist. Go around the
world, traveling anonymously and righting wrongs.
Hell of a lot more noble than Pops plan, isn't it?
It's a start, I guess. It's _something_, which I think I need.
***
So me and my cigarettes, and my sake, and no Ranchan, or ... or
whoever that guy was. And once Ranchan vanishes -- literally -- I
start wondering if I'll even see him again. It'd be simple for him
disappear forever.
And I haven't been nice to him since he came back. He wanted a
friend, and I've been pretty bitchy to him. Part of me says it's
warranted. Part of me says I'm too alone to risk that.
It's not like I have any real friends at all, unless I count
Ranchan.... And I guess I do. I keep calling him Ranchan instead of
Ranma, even if it's just in my head.
So I look for wisdom in the bottom of a bottle while he's gone,
because I don't know if he'll come back. And I realize that I can't
do it alone. I've done something to myself, fell too hard ... and I
need a hand up. He was offering that to me ... and does it go away
when he finds out how I was used?
Am I too dirty for a buraka like him to want to be friends with?
"Heehee...."
Guess not. "Ranchan?" I ask the dark restaurant. How long have I
been sitting here anyway?
"'S me!" he slurs. His girl-side voice, though. "I'm here!"
Oh, kami. He sounds smashed. I know I've been drinking, but I've
built up a tolerance. I'm tipsy, at worst. But Ranchan sounds pretty
far-gone.
Then he appears in front of me, standing on the other side of the
grill. And ... not only is he a girl, he's _dressed_ like a girl.
And he looks like crap.
His blouse is torn, his skirt is ripped.... I take a step back in my
head and try to look at him as though he were a girl -- all the way.
She looks like she just got raped. "Oh, kami. Ranchan, what happened?"
Ranchan looks down at himself and rolls his eyes. "Nothin'," he says
with a shrug. "Nothin'. Heehee!"
"Sit down," I order, standing up and pointing at one of the stools.
He pouts, but does what I say, and I hit the light. Under brighter
illumination, it's not as bad as it looked, but some things are kind
of funny. Ranchan doesn't usually wear girl's underwear, but I can
see that he is, now.
I come around the grill and sit next to him. "Tell me what happened."
He looks thoughtful, then grins. "Nope!"
Alright. Change of tactics. I reach across the counter for the sake
bottle. "Want something to drink?" I waggle it in front of him.
"Sure!" Yeah, he's smashed, he grabs for it and misses when I pull it back.
"Okay! But you need to tell me a story, first."
He makes a face, but nods. "Okay, okay," he agrees. "Which one?"
"What happened to you after you left here, Ranchan?"
"Aw, Ucchan, it ain't nothin' important," he protests, giving me a
girlish-looking pout. Oh-so-girlish.
I waggle the bottle.
"Aright, aright," he grumbles. "I followed that.... That jerk guy.
Thought I'd deal with him."
"Did he take advantage of you?"
Ranma plucks the bottle from my shaking hands and takes a hearty swig
before pushing it back into mine. "Hell no!" he says with a giggle.
"He thought he did, but he was wrong, wrong ... wrong!"
Aw.... His girl-side has a pretty singing voice. Heh. He's going
to be so pissed when I tell him _that_ when he wakes up. "That's
good, Ranchan! Now, did you hurt him?"
"Naw," he says. "Hey, you gonna drink that?"
I pass it back and he takes another hearty swig before returning it.
I get the idea that I might want to drink with him, just to protect
him from drinking too much. When he reaches for it, I take a gulp
myself. "So," I say, holding it out of his reach. "What did you do?"
"I led him on," Ranchan says with a big grin. "Let him think he was
gettin' me all drunk and stuff."
Another exchange of the bottle ... maybe I'm drinking kind of fast --
things are starting to spin. But I _have_ to get this story. "And
then?"
"I got him to leave the club with me," he says. "And I say.... I
say...." He shakes his head. "Can't s'plain it."
My voice shakes a bit. "Can you show me?"
"Suuuure," he slurs, grinning. "You're dressed for it."
Well.... I didn't want to be wearing a skirt after that little
argument with the jerk. And of course, Ranchan's guy clothes were all
that was clean and not girlish. Mine were still being washed.
"So, yeah. Um, pretend I'm him," I say cautiously. "Just don't do
anything to me you wouldn't want to do to a friend, right?"
"Heehee!" Ranchan nods and swipes the bottle from me. It's empty,
though, so he sets it on the counter and stands upright in a wide
stance that shows off his panties through the rips in his skirt. The
boys in Furinkan would kill for a picture of this, but I'm not sure I
like it so much.
And suddenly, it's like Ranchan is even more drunk. He hops right
into my lap, arching his back enough to strain the buttons across his
chest, his eyes glowing with energy. "Oh, Producer-san, what do we
need a hotel for?" He traces a finger down from my ear, across my
jaw, and then down my throat, pausing only at the neckline of the
Chinese shirt I'm wearing. "Come on," he breathes huskily, nuzzling
my cheek when I stiffen. "Lets do it right here!"
"R...Ranchan!" I manage. This is too much-- way too much-- for me to
handle right now!
Ranchan pops out of my lap in the same motion. He takes one of my
hands and places it where his blouse is torn. "So," he says, suddenly
more sober again, "he grabs here," instinctively, I grab, getting a
handful of cloth. Ranchan pulls away just right, and the blouse tears
even more.
Then he's back to the drunk-act -- and I'm impressed. He's got no
poker face, but he can do 'drunk'. "Oh, Producer-san! So naughty!"
He puts a hand on the skirt -- one of my hands. The act repeats, and
there's another tear. Then he leans close, his nose almost touching
mine, his breath warm on my face. For a second, I think he's going to
kiss me. "Mmm.... You know what really turns me on?" he purrs.
"W...what's that?" I choke out. This is unreal!
"I like guys who can catch me." He moves in like he's _really_ going
to kiss me, and I'm too frozen to stop him. But he falls short,
pulling back. Against my better judgment, I lean towards him. What
the hell's wrong with me? But he's just out of reach, and I'm pulled
to my feet.
Back to sober ... well. Back to less drunk again. "Let's run!"
Ranchan takes two steps away from me and looks thoughtful. "Ya know
... there's a U.S. Navy base in Yokohama?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, confused.
"Later," he says with a wink. "So now you chase me. We run all
over. I get my clothes all torn up." He goes to tear his skirt even
more, then realizes how thrashed it is, and ends up standing there
like a fool, holding up the hem and flashing me his panties.
Yeah. Ranchan's panties. Pink, with red hearts that have little
tiny 'R's in them. Where does he find this stuff? And why am I
_looking_ at his girl-side, anyway?
Ooh. Forget the boys at Furinkan -- trained monks would be drooling
over him right now.
"Anyway," he says, dropping his skirt and swaying. "We run, we run
... whenever it seems like he's going to give up, I give him a little
boost...." He winks, moving towards me and pressing his body against
mine for a second -- this is not the story I was expecting. He pulls
away before I can grab him.
"And then we end up in the naval base, and I sing a different song."
He giggles.
"What? What did you do?"
"Um, hang on...." Ranchan furrows his brow for a second, then
releases a startled, agonized sob and spits out some English. It
takes my brain a minute to work through the alcohol and Ranchan's
antics to sort out, "Help! This man is trying to rape me!"
My eyes go big. "You _didn't_!"
"I sure as hell did," Ranchan says proudly. "Didn't lay a finger on
him!" He frowns. "Well. 'Cept that one."
"Which one?"
He pulls up to me, tracing a finger from my ear to my collar again.
Somehow, the ties on Ranma's Chinese shirt have come undone, and he
goes a bit lower before pulling away with another fit of giggles.
"Hehehe! You're as red as my hair!"
"S...stop toying with me!" I protest. "Anyway, what happened next?"
He waves a hand like it's not important. "Aw, that. He was tired
from all th' runnin', couldn' make it more 'n a block 'r two further
by then. I just got 'im through the gate an' inta the base when I
started yellin' ... sneakin' him through the gate was the only hard
part. Then about fifty huge guys in Navy uniforms came out an'
swarmed 'im." Another giggle. "Was awesome."
"Y...you.... Why did you do that?"
"F'r you," he says blandly, his smile vanishing. "You was always
prettier when you smile. That guy took your smile away. 'Kane won't
smile for me anymore, so wanna make sure you're okay."
He sways a bit, and I step towards him and catch him before he can
fall. His eyes are teary. "Pop's an' me screwed up lots. I ain't
gonna be like that. Wanna fix things." He starts sniffling then.
"Made things real bad for you, Ucchan. I'm real sorry."
"You're _drunk_," I tell him.
"But I gotta do the right thing!" he protests, trying to get away.
Not this time, Ranchan. I hold him tight. "What you did was really,
really, really stupid." Stepping back so he stays steady, I look into
his eyes. They're beautiful when he's a girl, shining and blue ...
filled with tears, they remind me of the ocean we played by as
children. "Thank you." And, okay, yeah, maybe I was making out like
I was more sober than I was.
I mean, why else would I kiss him?
His lips are soft, and he kisses me back. Hesitantly at first, but
then he gets into a bit more. I hug him tightly, he hugs me too....
In the back of my head, I think it's sad that he wasn't my first kiss.
And hey, I wasn't his.
But then ... this is kind of a first. I doubt he's kissed a girl as
a girl before.
And that's when I break the kiss off.
"What was that?" he asks, looking shell-shocked.
"You don't know anything," I tell him. "Let's get some hot water and
go to bed."
"Uh...."
"Oh, no, little girl," I tell him when he starts to look nervous.
"You think you can lead a guy like me on like that and walk away?" I
try and make it look like I'm standing up straight, so my chest
doesn't stand out and I can look more boyish.
He laughs at me.
I'll never have a guy act that can match up to his girl act, but
that's okay by me. I grab the kettle and smack his rear, herding him
up the stairs with a yelp.
***
It's nice to wake up in a warm bed. And I haven't shared a bed with
Ucchan in ages. I mean, since we were kids. Then, of course, I
thought we were both guys, and didn't think about it that much.
And when I wake up this time, I don't sweat it so much, either. Most
of last night got blurry after I got back from dealing with that
'producer'. And ... I think I let my guard down. I know Ucchan and I
drank a bit more, before I hit the big fuzzy spot.
Not sure how it got to me being in her bed ... but we're both girls,
so I don't figure it's anything bad. My clothes are all missing, but
I tore the girly stuff apart to bait that sleazebag anyway.
Ucchan sits up next to me, and she's not wearing anything either.
How did that happen?
She blinks a few times and stares at me. "I am never drinking
again," she groans, falling back to the futon and pulling the covers
up over her eyes. "Clean up. I want the next go at the shower."
"You got it," I answer.
And a warm shower is just the thing. Lets me feel more like myself
and wonder what the hell happened. But ... Ucchan's not angry at me.
At least, I don't think she is. I hope she isn't.
After I wash, I dress and put the last of Ucchan's stuff in the
dryer. Then I go downstairs and clean the mess up. Just a handful of
bottles, so not much of a mess, I suppose. I leave the back door open
to let the smell of smoke out ... then remember to steal one of the
packs she's got left and toss it into the trash out back.
By the time she finishes her shower and comes downstairs, I've
already got the grill going and serve up an okonomiyaki for each of
us. "What a hangover," she says, lowering herself to a stool and
rubbing her eyes as I shut the grill off. "And what a night."
"Uh, last night?"
She looks up at me. "I guess I should trust you," she says with a
weak smile. "You wouldn't let me splash you, even when we were both
drunk."
"Oh," I say with a nod. I don't even remember what she's talking
about. But she's happy, so I'll go with it.
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
"Shoot." I sit down and take a bite of my okonomiyaki.
She looks nervous. "Did you and Akane ever do it as girls?"
It takes a bit of pounding from her to get me to breathe around the
okonomiyaki I tried to inhale. "No! We never even.... We never even
did it!" Then it hits me, and I feel my face turn red. "D...did
_we_?"
"You mean, you were too drunk to remember?" she asks me, turning red, too.
"Uh...." Oh, yeah. I'm in trouble now.
She starts laughing though. "It's better that way," she decides.
"We shouldn't make that kind of decision while drunk anyway, right?
If we were both girls, it doesn't really have to count."
"Yeah, okay," I agree.
Wait. We woke up together. There were no clothes. Huh. Somehow, I
thought it'd be more memorable.
"Y...you really are a friend to me," she says quietly. "Isn't it
like that song we had to study for Hinako-sensei's class?"
I spend a minute trying to remember.
"If you'll be my bodyguard," she reminds me with a giggle, "I can be
your long-lost pal."
Then it comes back to me. "I can call you Betty, and Betty, when you
call me, you can call me Al." Yeah, I guess that does kind of fit.
"Listen ... uh, I'm sorry about last night. That was, uh, I don't
know. I guess I shouldn't drink." Still have that bottle of sake
Pops gave me stashed away, but I think it could wait a long time
before I open it. "A...anyway, what I want to say is that, if that's
what you want, I will try to take care of you."
"You can't do that forever," she says, lowering her gaze to the
grill. "I mean ... you've got your own life, after all."
I want to ask her what life, when there's a knock at the door. I
vanish. Thanks for that much, Pops.
And then I hear her voice and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I get
out the back before I drop the Umisen-ken, but still. "Ukyou-san?"
Akane asks through the door. "Are you there?"
***
So, like I thought, everything does pretty much have to happen at
once. I'm still trying to figure out what I feel about Ranchan and me
sleeping together. The first thing I wanted to do was hit him --
hard. But ... he didn't do anything wrong.
I guess I shouldn't drink, really. But that, everything else ... and
then Akane drops by. Just what I needed.
So, I open the door. If I were thinking more clearly, I probably
would have pretended I wasn't home and went out looking for Ranchan.
Instead, Akane steps in and says, "Ukyou-san? Are you.... Are you alright?"
And it's like there's a message in her eyes, and the weirdest thing
is ... Ranchan didn't talk about her, but I thought he was broken up
because she wouldn't touch him. Because he was mura-no-mono. But
she's looking at me like she pities me. And what's she got to pity me
for?
"Yeah," I tell her gruffly. I close the door and retake my seat at
the stool. She looks nervously around.
"Y...you've been closed the last few days."
"Yeah."
Akane stares at her feet for a moment, then raises her head.
"Ukyou-san, I think we need to talk about Ranma-san. About ...
Saotome-san, too."
"Yeah?" Wonder how long I can stick with the one-word responses?
"Um.... Ranma-san and I won't be getting married," she says, like
it's a relief. And to think, before I screwed up and went out that
guy, those words would have filled me with joy. Now they just piss me
off. All of this, everything that I went through, over _nothing_.
And her reasons for it are just because he's burakumin? Damn, she
_is_ a bitch!
"B...but, don't.... I mean...." She bites her lip and then blurts
out, "Saotome Genma is eta," like that explains it all. Lovely choice
of words there, Akane-chan. Are they treasured family antiques from
before the Meiji Era? "You wouldn't want to dirty yourself with
someone like him." Then she babbles on about what would have gone
wrong, and how my life would have sucked with Ranchan....
My life is in pieces, Ranchan's life's in pieces, Konatsu's gone, and
here she is trying to tell me how much better off I am? I feel like
reaching over and strangling her. Instead, I move to the other side
of the grill and get a cigarette. Pity, Ranchan just tried to air the
place out. But tobacco saved a Tendo's life that day, I'll tell you
that much.
After one good draw, which shuts her up, I say, "Oh."
"Um."
So we're quiet for a while. I just stare at her, finish my
cigarette, and flick it into the sink.
Then she says, "I.... I know this has to be hard for you, so....
So, I wanted to try and help out any way I could." She reaches into
her purse and pulls out an envelope. "Um, this is ... for you."
Against my better judgment, I take the envelope and look inside.
There's a huge stack of cash, and that's when I really lose it. I
throw the envelope at her and I'm glad that I've practiced throwing
spatulas as much as I have. It smacks into her nose on the flat side,
sending her falling back onto her rear. Then I slam both hands onto
the grill and make myself keep them there, instead of lashing out at
her.
"You think that _money_ is the answer to this?" I spit at her. "I'm
sorry, I realize that from your viewpoint, coming from a richer family
than me, not having to work for anything, you think that this will
solve everything for you -- but you know what? It doesn't! It
doesn't even _begin_ to make up for the way your family treated me!
When it's convenient, you all stayed here without even asking me.
When it's not, you work as hard as you can to throw me out of your own
place. Real fair, especially when you realize that your _bedroom_ is
the size of my entire restaurant."
I spent some time once, thinking about that one. It's true, though,
if you fudge the pantry. And the upstairs section -- technically, my
place is about double the size of her bedroom. But this isn't
counting the bath she's got access to, the living room ... and of
course, the dojo. And this is Tokyo, where land is money.
"W...well," Akane manages, catching the envelope and scrambling back
a few steps. "That's.... We want to apologize!"
"'We', Akane?" I ask skeptically. "You had ample opportunity to do
that before, but until it came out that Ranchan was mura-no-mono, you
didn't care. Then your apology comes down to, what, _money_?"
"Ranma-san," Akane says, almost reflexively.
"I'll call him whatever the hell I feel like!" I shout at her. I'd
been getting really worked up over this. I didn't want to take things
out on Ranma, and I wonder if I'm just using Akane as a convenient
target.... But hey, if she wants to apologize to me, she can take it!
"And I'll tell you this much, Tendo Akane, I don't accept your
apology at all! You can take that envelope and shove it right up
your-"
***
After things quiet down, Akane takes the money and leaves. I tried
not to get too close, because I think Akane might be able to feel
through the Umisen-ken. But after Ucchan finishes cursing Akane out,
the door opens, and I hop to the roof to look down at the street.
Akane tucks the envelope of cash into her purse and starts walking
stiffly.
Yeah, a verbal beating like that would hurt. Probably almost as much
as getting rejected by.... And I don't know how it happened. I mean,
I'd been setting myself up to admit it for a while, I guess, but not
actually doing it. Ucchan needs me, or at least, wants me around.
Akane obviously doesn't.
"Time to right a wrong," I whisper to myself. Yeah, that one should
have been in my head.
Akane pauses, and turns to look at where I was. By that time, of
course, I'm gone, down the street and in front of her. She's looking
the other way, so she's got every chance to turn around and look at
me. I even drop the Umisen-ken, for just a moment, relying on nothing
more than my own pick-pocketing skills.
Then it's back up, and I bounce across the street to look down at
her. So, I'm watching her walk away with a smile on her face like
it's the best day of her life, and I can't help but think.... Why
don't I feel guilty for that? What if Akane thinks Ucchan did it?
Well, the answer to that is obvious, I guess. She'll think that
Ucchan deserved it, and her apology was accepted. So, free money. I
don't need money that bad, but it seemed right somehow.... And
_Ucchan's_ right. Tendo may not be _wealthy_, like the Kuno family,
but I've never seen him work a day in my life.
But the thing that really kills me about it is that, watching Akane
leave, I realize that I'd rather be with her than Akane. Maybe I did
find my own people, in the end. And maybe I'm more my father's son
than I admit. I am getting pretty good at stealing things.
So ... I go back in and find Ucchan behind the grill, trembling. And
she did a number on it, too. Punched it straight through and broke a
pipe. I turn off the gas and open the back door before I drop the
Umisen-ken.
Maybe I'm losing my touch; she doesn't even flinch, though she stops
trembling so much. "You alright?" I ask her cautiously.
"Oh, Ranchan," she groans, covering her eyes. "I've got too much
pride. I should have taken that money. It would have been enough for
us to ditch this place like the bad habit it is and go somewhere else.
Maybe Kyushu, or ... or Hokkaido. I like snow."
My heart skips a beat. "Us?" I ask her.
"Y...yeah," she whimpers. "You're all I've got. Unless you, you don't want-"
"Hey, as long as you need me around," I remind her. "I promised."
"Wh...what about when I don't need you anymore?" she asks me. "What
about when...."
"When what?"
"I don't know." She drops her hands to her sides and stares at the
shattered grill. "I need to stop drinking. And smoking. You're
right, and you're looking out for me. More ... than I am. Are you
looking out for you?"
I think about the money I took from Akane. "I think so."
She gives me a weak smile, but one of the good old Ucchan smiles from
way back when. "D...don't let me be a burden to you. We'll just get
stuck in a pit and things will get worse, and, oh, kami, how am I
supposed to make enough money to get us out of here when I hate it so
much, and no one will--"
So, I'm feeling pretty lucky, and figure I can get away with it. I
shut her up with a kiss, and she quiets down, and just hugs herself
against me. Then she stiffens. "Is that.... What is that in your
pocket?"
"Um.... Would you believe that I was just happy to see you?"
That gets me a slap I'm pretty sure I deserved, but I can't really
complain. She pulls the envelope out -- thought I hid it better --
and stares. "You _didn't_!"
"Sure as hell did!" I tell her. "You wouldn't believe what I did
to--" I cut myself off right there. She doesn't need to know about
the sleazebag.
"That's true," she says quietly.
"Wait, you know?" Ah, sweet revenge. She gets me good with a kiss
this time -- kind of like what I thought licking an ashtray would
taste like, now that I stop to think about it. "Ugh! You gotta stop
smoking, for sure!"
"Jackass! You don't know anything." She lets me go and looks
around, like she'd just woken up. "Come on, let's pack. We'll tear
out the grill and replace it -- we can hand this place over to an
agent and be out of town by tomorrow. We won't be able to afford a
new place until the money comes through, but we'll be out of here!"
"Okay, I guess." Then she gives me a funny look and smacks my butt.
Strange how familiar that seems ... but I get the idea everything's
going to work out, one way or another, so why worry about it?
She sure doesn't seem to care that I'm mura-no-mono, and no one else
will care in Hokkaido. Hell, we could set up near an Ainu settlement,
and I could learn all sorts of new martial arts from 'em. This could
work.
Seeing how things have gone so far ... I think I could really fall
for Ucchan. I know she fell for me once before, so maybe if I'm real
good, it'll happen again. It sounds like the best plan I got ...
with, you know. Righting wrongs. Can't forget that part.
I think it could work. I give Ucchan a smile back.
------------------------------------------------
Descent -- Epilogue
In Search of a Happy Ending
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Brian Randall
Disclaimers: The paints, as always, are the property of Takahashi
Rumiko; I'm merely a peasant with an easel.
------------------------------------------------
The happiest days of my life could not be counted on two hands. When
I think about it, I'm not even sure I could count them at all. So
that makes me wonder, sometimes, why I can't be happy more often.
At the time, I was too relieved that everything was working out to
think ahead. I usually don't, I guess, but then, I usually don't
_have_ to. Everything works out, because life is good.
Mostly, anyway.
But on the last day I thought was the happiest day of my life....
That day actually worked out pretty well. It had everything I thought
it should in it, and none of the things I didn't.
Oh, sure, I could look back and say, "Well, you know, he could have
taken my hand a bit more quickly," or, "Kasumi could have smiled at
least once," but really, it was a pretty good day. The food was good
enough, my family was happy enough, and he was enough for me.
And there was no Kuno family -- they didn't need to be told about
anything. Saotome-san was there, and she was so gracious and polite.
Her husband was well behaved. So was he, of course. And Father
looked happier than he had in years.
I suppose I lied a little. I would have changed one thing, if I
could have. I would have had Nabiki not look so uncomfortable.
Especially since she didn't know.... I still can't figure that one
out, but we don't talk much anymore.
A bright day framed in a hint of mystery. A perfect past.
Sort of.
Things were good, for a while. It wasn't until we left, after he and
I had both agreed to the things we had to. Not a wedding, thank the
kami. I mean, I know that now, but then I was wishing for nothing so
much as for it to really _be_ a wedding, and I think he did too.
Or maybe he didn't. I can't really understand him.
But we held hands, we made our promises.... I've made a lot of
promises to him, when I think about it. It's sad ... I don't think
I've ever kept a single one of them. Maybe.... Oh, it couldn't
possibly matter now.
It was on the walk home, on our way to the train. After we got there
... the night was cool, but not cold. I still have the dress I wore,
a white one trimmed with lace. Nabiki helped me pay for it; Kasumi
helped me pick it out.
While we were waiting for the train to stop, when no one could hear
anything over the sound of its brakes, he managed to wipe that glum
look off his face. And that's why I think it was a good day, even
though he looked nervous and uncomfortable the entire time. Because
when it mattered, he came through -- like he always did.
For me, anyway.
He was still holding my hand, and he turned towards me and said,
"Akane-chan.... Um. I ain't too good with words, and I know I mess
up a lot, but I really, uh.... I really lo.... I really like you."
I couldn't see for the tears, but he kissed me anyway; I let him.
That was the sweetest part....
And the problem with anything that sweet is that inevitably, that's
as good as it gets. Right there was the peak, the very best moment.
And it was the best moment because it was before everything went
wrong.
When the brakes stopped screaming, he ended our kiss. That was when
Kasumi yelled and pulled me away from him; I thought it was funny.
Almost cute. She was afraid that we'd go too far before we were
married.
Our fathers laughed, and even Saotome-san giggled a bit. He just
looked embarrassed. "None of that, now," Kasumi chided, herding me
onto the train like a child.
"Sorry, sorry," I said back. In the back of my mind, I was already
planning where to knock on his window without waking his parents, so
we could sneak out and kiss some more. But Kasumi wouldn't let go of
me, and I like Kasumi too much to yank my hand away....
So that was the trip, and the entire time I was just thinking how
things could get better. I wish I'd thought about how they could have
gotten worse, instead. On the walk back to the house, Kasumi said
nothing, just keeping me ahead and out of his reach. I wanted to hold
his hand again, of course.
And I think he wanted to hold mine.... But he wasn't about to go
against Kasumi either. So he hung back and listened as our fathers
told him all about his duties to me and the school, and how grand our
wedding would be.
Kasumi just looked more and more intense and upset the closer to home
we got. I started wondering what was wrong, because she was taking
this far too seriously. Nabiki was keeping pace with us, but her eyes
were elsewhere. Whatever was distracting her earlier was still on her
mind, so she'd be no help.
So that was the rest of the walk. The finale for the good part of that day.
It was after dark when we got home, and Kasumi didn't let go of me,
hauling me straight through the rear door and into the dojo. I
followed, because it was Kasumi, and father followed because she said
something. Saotome-san and Nabiki stopped in the living room with him
and his father.
Kasumi told us when we got to the dojo. Father looked fit to burst
with rage once we heard. I didn't know what else to do, so just sat
there, surrounded in the pretty dress that even he had liked. Kasumi
and Father discussed it quietly; she'd had plenty of time to think and
plan.
So that was that.
If it had gone any further before Kasumi stopped things.... If that
had happened, then things would be worse. And that's why that's part
of what made it the happiest day of my life. I got everything out of
it -- and him -- that I could ever hope to. I wish he could have made
me a husband, though I'd never say that around Father, or Kasumi.
But I also know that would have made things worse for me. It
probably wouldn't have really helped him, anyway.
And every day since then.... Since the argument, and him leaving....
Every day has been a good day.
For some reason, though ... they haven't been happy. And I don't
know why anymore. Kasumi is the same as she ever was, and just told
me that time would make it better. Father can't discuss it without
breaking down in tears.
There's no one else I can talk to about it, though. My friends at
school are out of the question; why would I ever want to let them
know?
So it ends up that I have to ask Nabiki for help again, except that
we don't even talk anymore. We live in the same house, but she
doesn't meet my eyes, even at the dinner table. She doesn't speak
with Father or Kasumi very much, either. Almost every minute she's
home, she's in her room.
But if Nabiki can't figure it out, maybe no one can.
***
Nabiki's room is exactly as it was the last time I saw it. I'm sure
if I opened her wardrobe, I'd see all of my missing clothes, too ...
but that's not what today is about. "Nabiki," I ask slowly, "can you
help me?"
She looks disgusted. "The last time I helped you, I ended up ruining
someone's life for that worthless scum," she grumbled. "So I don't
think I really want to get my hands dirty like that again."
I can't imagine Nabiki ruining anyone's life, except maybe some boy
she's leading on for money. "What are you talking about?"
"Do you remember," she returns in a flat tone, "when you and....
When you asked me to take care of things so you could be married?"
I don't meet her eyes, this time, but I nod.
"Well, there were two problems to that, weren't there? Shampoo and
Ukyou, right?"
"I ... guess," I admit, though this is the first time I've actually
thought about either of them. Didn't he send Shampoo back to China?
I don't remember hearing what happened to Ukyou ... though, now that I
think about it, she hasn't been at school since then.
"You guess?" She sounds even more disgusted. "I can't believe--
Look, I take my life seriously, and apparently more than you do. He
sent Shampoo packing, but Ukyou was all me. Do you know what I did?"
I shake my head, no. Nabiki was responsible for Ukyou disappearing?
"I know a guy who makes movies," she answers. "I arranged it so that
Ukyou got the brush off in the worst possible way. She'd see that you
were with him, and how little he cared. This guy ... he would keep an
eye out for her; I gave him a picture. Then he'd take her out and
make sure she was ruined in this town."
"I don't understand," I say cautiously.
"I didn't think you would," Nabiki says sadly. Instead of saying
anything else, she hands me a picture.
I almost tear it up with disgust when I see it. It's a picture of
Ukyou, alright, and it's the kind of thing Kuno would want to buy.
Just touching it makes me feel dirty.
Nabiki picks it up from where I dropped it. "Ukyou's hard for me to
read. I just wanted a plan that was final, would resolve everything,
and give you," and I know that this is a plural 'you', which makes me
flinch, "the room you said you wanted."
"You shouldn't associate with the kind of people who would take such
a picture," I say. Nabiki did this to Ukyou? That poor girl!
"Better him than some burakumin, don't you think?" she asks archly.
She may have a point. "Oh," I say quietly.
"Except that he's exactly _why_ I did it," she continues. "So I did
this, like you asked. And for absolutely nothing. You may call me
heartless, Akane, but I feel nothing but regret for what I've done.
There's a thousand other ways I could have dealt with this situation,
and I just chose the one that would keep things solved.
"And then he goes and lets me see that I did it all for _nothing_,"
she spits, glaring. "And I have to look at you every day and say to
myself, 'I did that for her,' and wonder why I ever even agreed to
help. I should have just let him deal with everything himself. But I
couldn't, because _you_ asked."
"I'm sorry," I manage in a quiet voice. "I didn't.... I guess we'd
better apologize to Ukyou, then."
"Of course," Nabiki says doubtfully. "We'll just send her a 'sorry
for getting you raped' card. That'll fix _everything_."
I can't help but flinch at that. "She wasn't.... She didn't...."
Then I swallow. "Why do you even know people like that?"
"Okay," she says with a sigh. "It probably wasn't that bad. Look,
there's no bruises on her in the picture."
"I.... I guess.... How can we make it up to her?"
"I don't know if we can," Nabiki says glumly. "And the worst part
is, if I played my cards right, she doesn't even have a reason to
suspect me, because there's no link between me and.... You don't need
to know about him. But how can I apologize without admitting what I
did, and getting my head caved in with an oversize spatula?"
"Oh." I couldn't really hold that one against Ukyou. She wouldn't
kill me, of course -- I wasn't the one responsible. Still.... Nabiki
was right. We'd need to find a way to make it up to her. "I...is she
alright?"
"She's fine," Nabiki says dismissively. "Still has her little shop.
She mostly just sits there all day brooding. For a while, she didn't
open up at all -- now she opens up for an hour on either side of noon
and sells lunch to businessmen, but it's a different crowd. She
smokes now, for one, and keeps the place really quiet."
"Why?"
"Oh, I wonder, Akane. Are you stupid? Get with it!"
"S...sorry," I manage, flinching. "D...do you think we could ...
give her money?"
Nabiki looks even more disgusted. "The worst part about that idea is
that I honestly can't come up with something better," she mutters.
"It'd need to be a lot of money. But that's okay ... I have what
should have paid for your wedding. We can give her that, and you can
let her know how much better off she is, since he was.... Well."
She nods to herself like that settles it, and pulls an envelope from
her drawer. It's thick, filled with bills. "Take these to Ukyou,"
she instructs. "First thing tomorrow morning. Tell her you're sorry
she hasn't been feeling well. Let her know what happened. See if you
can get her to accept this as, oh, I don't know. An apology for the
rivalry between the two of you."
"But-"
"But nothing," Nabiki counters. "I think it's time you start dealing
with some of the things you're responsible for."
***
Another day that's not as happy as it should be. After the
disastrous discussion with Ukyou, I tuck the envelope into my purse
and walk away. I look back at the roof of Ucchan's place for some
reason. A breeze rises and swirls around me, shifting my skirt and
making me shiver.
Something feels wrong ... and I know, just like I know a lot of
things about martial arts....
I could see the Umisen-ken and the Yamasen-ken. I may not have
grasped them as quickly as my father, but he's more than twice my age,
so I think I'm actually better than him at recognizing that sort of
thing. Or I will be, anyway.
So I don't need to check my purse to know that the money I just put
in there is gone.
I felt so bad seeing how far Ukyou had fallen, and how sad she'd
become. And somehow, even though I know that it shouldn't, it makes
me smile. Two wrongs shouldn't make a right. Ukyou in that state ...
the money missing ... but I think they do.
And I smile, because maybe today is the first happy day I've had in a
while. Nabiki doesn't really need to know this time, does she? I can
take responsibility for it, just like she wanted.
Good luck, Ukyou and....
Well.
Good luck all the same.
------------------------------------------------
Author's notes: What a trip.
So.... I got inspiration from this fic from multiple sources, most
of them other fanfictions. Especially (I imagine this is obvious)
from 'Insignificant' and 'Poison'.
I spent the better part of six months combing every fic I could for
all of the Ukyou-angst-scenes, or just generally depressing
Ukyou-related-stuff, thinking that it was my moral duty as an
Ukyou-fan to collate and condense that into a single, easily
angst-ccessible source. I had one fic left to go -- 'Saishu no
Wakare' -- when I got the phone call that my roommate and best friend
had passed away.
At that, I left the project on hold for almost two years.
When I came back to it, I thought, the idea ... my
'penultimate-Ukyou-angst fic' ... it needed something different.
It needed a happy ending.
So, here's my attempt at that, and the (hopefully adequate) apology
for 'Order to Go'.