For the first time ever Nabiki finally understood just
how Ranma could keep calling
her younger sister an uncute tomboy who lacked any sex
appeal whatsoever and actually
mean it. It was like comparing shit to cream. She
herself was straight and even she
could tell that the picture was made of pure win.

This may just be me showing my age, but...

Your writing style is a bit too uncomfortably informal. Narrative prose
should not read like Internet message board jocularity.

================================
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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