The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
This is... later than I expected. I was hoping to be posting the final
chapter in this story by now. Ah, well.
Whee! I knew it was near time for a chapter of this!
Past time, really. Per the usual schedule I should have had it out
closer to the beginning of this month instead of the end.
It's still much faster than I've written anything other than One Hundred
Days, though, so I shouldn't complain too much. :)
Knowing that he really had no other choice, he made his way
through the dim corridors until he stood before the massive gate. He
wasn't able to stop himself from swallowing nervously as he saw the rust
creeping up the metal bars and the charred edges of the paper with the
character for seal written on it. Twin, massive eyes shown in the
shone
Doh. Good catch.
"There are times when your insolence is amusing," Orochimaru
said mildly. Sasuke staggered suddenly, clutching at his shoulder.
"This is not one of those times," the Sannin finished, not a hint of his
earlier gentleness remaining in his voice. "Remember your place,
Sasuke-kun."
BITCHSLAPPED! XD
Indeed. :)
He raised his arms, very deliberately not tensing. "I am
Kurosuki Junzo, jounin of the Hidden Mist," he said calmly, "and I
request an audience with the Hokage."
Hinata's Byakugan activated. "He's not armed," she said
shortly. The man favored her with a hostile glance, but wisely said
nothing.
"And he wears boxers. And his penis is 22 millimeters smaller than--"
"TMI, Hinata."
Hee.
"I bear a message from Mizukage-sama," the Mist ninja said.
Kurenai only raised an eyebrow, and after a moment he continued. "I
suppose it won't hurt to tell you. Mizukage-sama wishes me to request
an immediate cessation of hostilities and to arrange for a peace
conference."
Figured out he'd tried to bite the head off a snake and got the tail twisted
'round his throat, did he now?
Unless, of course...it's a trap.
*whistles innocently*
The Fire Country's border with the much smaller Swamp Country
was not a terribly hospitable place. Though an Aburame might have been
comfortable with the swarms of insects that occasionally flew over from
the marshy lowlands on the other side of the border, Sakura was not.
Apparently, this particular breed of stinging insect seemed to think
that pink-haired kunoichi were remarkably tasty.
Mmmm, tasty pink-haired kunoichi.... n.h
I knew you would like that line. :)
Sakura wasn't able to stop herself from stopping slightly, but
She wasn't able to stop herself from stopping?
Will fix.
Focusing on Shino was out of the question. Hinata was much more
used to him than she'd ever thought she would have become when the quiet
boy had first revealed the nature of his clan's techniques. The sight
of bugs crawling out from under Shino's concealing jacket disturbed her
no more than seeing Akamaru resting on Kiba's head. It was quite
another matter, though, to see with perfect clarity each and every
insect crawling around beneath his skin, to count the holes and
passageways they had made, to watch most of her teammate's chakra be
continuously consumed, to be able to see the damage that did to his
chakra circulatory system.
Not to mention the huge bulging eggsac festering in his wang...
...ewwwwww.
"What an... interesting sentiment," Mitokado Homura said from
behind Jiraiya.
Jiraiya glanced at Shizune, who shrugged. "You could have
warned me,"
And he's supposed to be a master ninja. Pfeh.
Cheap comedy can triumph over any amount of ninja skill. :)
Shimano Ren swallowed nervously as she stared at the dark
entrance what her teacher's sister claimed was the Hidden Village of
'to what', perhaps? Or maybe:
'...entrance her teacher's sister claimed led to the...'
That is better; will use.
The blow sent Kimi skidding back, and as she recovered she
realized that Hyuuga Neji was standing directly behind her. She froze
for just a moment. "Eight Divination Signs," Neji intoned softly.
"Sixty-four Palms of the Hand.
*wince* You know...you really shouldn't "translate" move names, especially
when the English interpretations are this unwieldy. When you go back and
re-edit this entire story from stem to stern, I seriously hope to see things
such as this replaced with the proper equivalents (Hakke Rokujuuyonshou,
etc.) It's a LOT easier to take special move names when they're rendered in
Japanese.
Granted, that's entirely my opinion, and as it's your story, you're welcome
to disagree, but...at least consider it.
I do agree and I would have used Japanese technique names, if it wasn't
for one detail: I don't just use canonical techniques. I've been using
a _lot_ of techniques I made up, and that raises a number of different
issues.
The primary one is that, not speaking any Japanese myself, trying to
come up with Japanese names for the techniques would be difficult and
time-consuming, I'd be very limited in the range of vocabulary I could
use, and I would never be able to be confident in the results.
Another is that using English technique names allows the name to take on
part or all of the burden of explaining what the newly introduced
technique does, which is convenient. (See Kisame's "Doton:
Sanctuary-Breaking Technique" in this chapter.) Also, using Japanese
names for original techniques raises the issue of how or if to tell the
reader the meaning of the name, and I've never seen a solution that
really works very well for me.
Ultimately, I wound up using Japanese for a bare handful of things that
were simply too awkward for me to "translate" (most technique prefixes,
the ninjutsu/genjutsu/taijutsu trinity, Rasengan, and Raikiri/Chidori
are the most notable ones). The Juuken techniques were ones that I had
a hard time deciding on; ultimately I came down on the side of
translating them, but I do acknowledge that it's very awkward. When I
revise, I might adjust that particular position; it was a close call.
Looking forward to the grand finale!
As am I. :)
================================
I used to have a gay sofa.
Now I have a hetero sectional.
...GROAN. That's awful.