Again, nice to see some good CCS fanfiction!

David Barry wrote:

Sakura's Christmas Surprise

Chapter 5: Sakura's Return to a Normal Life

By Lord Archive
  
Mrs. Mihara looked over at her frail and bald husband. "Dear, sometimes
it's not about letting something happen, rather than a sacrifice needing
to be done."
  

Awkward phrasing.  Suggest "..sometimes it's less about letting 
something happen than..."
Also suggest ending "reluctantly acquiescing in a required sacrifice."

Sakura's pillow shook back and forth.
  

I loved this image.

Glancing at the time, Sakura noticed that she had slept for only a couple
hours. Had she stayed in Hong Kong, she would be going to bed about now.
  

I think I've noticed this before without commenting specifically on it.  
You seem to
imply that the time zone difference between Hong Kong and Japan is 
substantial,
but in fact they're only one hour apart.  Almost nobody should be thrown 
off their
natural cycles by a one-hour time zone difference.

Chiharu locked eyes with her friend for the first time that day, and in a
gravely certain voice ordered, "For your own sake and his, DON'T! You
might think you're ready, but you can't be. I know Takashi would never
hurt me, yet I was scared of him that first night in a way I can't
explain. I... I... Just, please, Rika-chan, don't rush into this. Wait
until you're both ready."
  

I like this scene too.  Very nice portrayal.

Ishida smirked. "Congratulations, Konagi-san. You are now a proud writer
of Dragon Magazine. Don't let anyone know of this."
  

Suggest "..proud writer for Dragon Magazine", but I don't suppose it 
matters much.

"Sakura aren't you cooking something? I think it's boiling over," Touya
groused from down the hall.
  

Suggest a comma after the "Sakura".

"Don't I need to get a magical core for a device? Where would I get one
suitable for me?" Syaoran questioned.

Yelan almost glared at him. "It is already in your possession."
  

Heh.  Sakura's tooth is useful for things like that, is it?


Again, nice to see Sakura and crew in a competently-written story.  
Thanks for writing and sharing!



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