David Johnston wrote:

DB Sommer wrote:

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

��and there you have it. That�s the newest Avenger, Tigra, the 
Were-Woman. And remember folks, despite the name, she assures us she 
is not a lycanthrope, and her bite will not turn you into a 
were-anything. This is Akemi Shutaro, signing off.�

Unless of course you're a cat.

% Won't turn you into a cat either

% Used the grammar corrections, BTW.

Irie unerringly located the file he wanted and leafed through it for 
the third time, as though reassuring himself the subject matter was 
still there, exactly the same as it had been before. It was. Phantom 
Cat legends were quite specific on the topic. It made up the majority 
of what little theological background Hound had managed to dig up on 
the Phantom Cats. It even had corroboration from a secondary source, 
though Irie found the Vatican�s secret files filled with more than a 
touch of religious hyperbole. He doubted the Phantom Cats were really 
demons that had created the Black Plague anymore than the Vatican had 
helped Nazi Vampires escape persecution during World War II.

Who was persecuting the Nazi Vampires?

% Everyone. Think about it, can you get more evil than Nazi Vampires? :)
Actually a loose Hellsing reference. I have no plans to follow this up.
Just an amusing aside.

A glowing, green missile shot forth from the bridge, shattering it. 
It left a sparking trail behind it as it rocketed right for Iron 
Rose. Her eyes widened behind her visor�s slits as the glowing object 
struck her in the chest, violently altering her flight by hurling her 
into the ocean. She landed with a splash, submerging beneath the 
waves, lost from sight.

Thor barely had time to register that when a huge red and white form 
shot out from the open hold from the deck of the ship. The instant 
her eyes settled on the creature, she was taken aback. It was 
appeared to be a large lion with giant eagle wings sprouting from its 
back. Its skin was covered in red, reptilian scales. But what was 
most bizarre was the pale human face and neck jutting from the lion�s 
body.

�Time to die at the claws of the Griffen!� it shouted in English as it

Griffin?  Gryphon?

Griffin. My bad.

�I ain�t a dog. I mean, I was going to call myself Mad Dog, but it 
turns out there was already some guy already named that. So I went 
with Warwolf, which is way cooler.�

Tigra snorted in amusement and stared at his groin. �Name should 
probably be Chihuahua Boy. Is more appropriate with tiny thing 
between legs.�

Warwolf began shaking in fury. �You�re going to die for that one, 
bitch! Now that I think about it, you remind me way too much of my 
ex-wife! I think I�ll bleed you nice and slow, like I�ll do her 
someday.�

I want Patsy Walker to be Sailor Uranus!

% Hmm. Would that make Hedy Sailor Neptune then?

Tigra cocked a finger at him and drew it toward her. �Come get some.�

Captain Japan was barely aware of the exchange. His spider motif foe 
had leapt at him feet first, aiming at his head. Spikes suddenly 
clicked into place at the toes, changing the attack from dangerous to 
deadly.

If silly and impractical-looking.

% Yes. Tarantula is not one of the more fearsome villains, which is why
both I and II are dead. Sadly, he's so easy to duplicate there might be
a third someday.

Captain Japan brought his shield up, deflecting the attack. Sparks 
danced across the surface of the shield from the foot spikes. Despite 
hitting it with his full weight, combined with the height he had 
dropped from, the villain failed to budge Captain Japan a centimeter. 
Bouncing off the shield, he unsteadily landed on his feet, a 
testament to his agility.

The red-garbed villain bowed. �Good evening, Senor. It is an honor to 
meet you. I am La Tarantula.� He spoke in heavily Spanish-accented 
English.

It's not your fault really.  But what Central American macho man would 
refer to himself as "La"?

% You're right, it should be El. But I have this horrible feeling T II
was referred to as 'La' several times.

And then the mist coalesced back into the blond�s face, appearing 
unaffected. �Damn you! Do you know how much I have to concentrate to 
recollect my form? I�m just like my codename, Willow the Wisp. But being 

Is there some reason you changed his name from Will O' The Wisp?

% I have't gotten as far as his first apperance in my reread of the
Amazing Spider Man title, and when I went to look up his name, I did it
that way and sadly, several webpages with that misspelling appeared.
Will correct.

forced into an incorporeal state is pain in the ass. So die.� He 
lunged for Wasp.

�Keep away from her!� Giant Man shouted, entering the fray by 
shooting up to a height of thirty-five feet and reaching out for 
Willow the Wisp. The glowing man darted out from under Giant Man�s 
reach, then retaliated by blasting him in the face with a crackling 
bolt of energy.

With great size comes great targetability.

% Yep.

However, Thor had finally gotten a chance to get her wind back and 
bring more of her strength to bear. She began shoving the Griffen�s 
claws away from her face.

�This ain�t possible,� the Griffen protested. �No frail can be 
stronger than me. I got the powers of a half dozen animals in me.�

Well yes but one of them's a gerbil.

% Heh. The Griffin had a number of appearances before he was made with a
totally animal brain.

�Stupid furry thing better get off Hulk,� the giant warned as he 
began to shove Manticore away from him, despite the villain�s advantage.

�I have a better idea. Let�s see if secondary adamantium can carve 
your heart out of your chest.�

Most guys just call it "adamantium" when they're boasting.

% I wanted to mention the difference. In the early days, real adamantium
was rarely used by a handful of villains, most of them world beaters
(Constrictor being the notable exception). Cheeseballs got the secondary
stuff (like Stilt Man). I wanted to made sure people knew Manticore was
not up to adamantium level.

body like the basest whore to save thineself. Thou are even worse 
than the red-haired trollop who has made herself absent these last 
few weeks.�

�Hey, Bucky ain�t no trollop,� Captain Japan defended.

Tigra stuck her tongue out at the goddess. �Silly Swede just jealous 
because it not work for her if she try it.�

�Mine body is much better than thine!� She turned to Captain Japan. 
�Tell the furry wench who hath the best body.�

�Bucky has the best body,� Captain Japan said indignantly.

�She�s right,� Daredevil said, not so much because he agreed as it was 

Who's right?

% Oops. Should he 'He's right', meaning Ranma

Cougar walked up to her until she was within reach of his claws. �Who 
are you?�

The woman was nonchalant at Cougar�s close proximity. She shifted 
forms as black hair sprouted from her face and body. Her hands became 
fur-covered paws, and her features took on a feline cast. �My name is 
Raven. 

What a bad name for a cat person.  I think she should go with Mystique 
instead.

% Heh. She would be the leading candidate, especially if you knew her in
the her Ms. Marvel pre-Mystique days. Then again, maybe it's a swerve.
You'll know by the end of the act.


% As an interesting note to the Ms Marvel title, had it made it one more
issue, she would have had the second appearance of Sabretooth (the story
was done in a Seasonal Marvel Superheroes special). Also an
advertisement for the revamped title had the first visual portrayal of
Mystique in her true form. The same ad featured a female character that
bore a striking resmeblance toMosquito  by Dave Cockrum, one that ended
up in his Futurians graphic novel.

% I'm such a Marvel nerd. I even managed to add a breif footnote to the
Stegron entry in the online Marvel Appendix.

The woman spoke. �They come highly recommended. A business associate 
of mine, Wilson Fisk, mentioned them when I related my woes to him. 
They are the best hit team in Chicago, and possibly the whole United 
States. Originally, they were a pair of bounty hunters that fell into 
the clutches of a bitch, lesbian, Mafia princess by the name of 
Goldie. She used the hypnotic narcotic, Kerosene, to enslave them to 
her. She used 

I'm pretty sure she didn't use lamp oil.

% Shoot. I have my GSC TPBs packed in a box in my attic, and don't feel
like digging through it. An online check seems to come up with that as
the spelling. Was it Kerasene?

one as her personal hit-woman and sex toy, while the other, deemed 
useless, was used in some sort of experiment altering DNA. It turned 
her into an SPB. Unfortunately for Goldie, the pair eventually 
received a bad batch of Kerosene that turned them psychotic and 
uncontrollable, even with further exposure to normal Kerosene. They 
killed Goldie and everyone in her organization. Fisk managed to avert 
an outright war between them and the other families, convincing the 
pair to let bygones be bygones and advised them to become independent 
pros. They�ve racked up a high number of kills over time, including a 
handful of SPBs.

�The tall, darker-skinned one is Rally �Bullseye� Vincent, who�s 
reputed to never miss, no matter what weapons she uses. Her partner, 
the small blonde that looks like a child, is Minnie-May Hopkins, aka 
Nitro, the Exploding Girl.

�Collectively they�re known as the Gunsmith Cats, and they are going 
to assassinate the Avengers.�

That's absurd.  Nitro and Bullseye versus the entire Avengers group?

% Not necessarily. Can go after them one at a time. Or there might be an
upgrade in firepower from the mystery woman hiring them. Or maybe
they'll have a good plan. :)

% You'll find out next issue... I mean, next chapter.  Stick around,
True Believers.

% Thanks, as always, for the help. it's greatly appreciated.

DB Sommer

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