% Since I don't have enough time to write, I'll try a piecemeal C+C


StudioPC wrote:

Note:  I've been waiting for over a year to write this part.
 

% Ah. Must be excited then.

C&C welcome.

- - - - - -

"I have come, father," said the prince as he knelt before the throne.  
 

% I'd line break here

The king stared down at him, his single eye seeing all, even what was  
in his son's heart.

"You know what this is about," the king stated.

"Aye," replied the prince. "I do."

"Then you know why you must stay here." The king was compassionate.  
 

% Sounds like Thor and Odin.

"The Devourer approaches. Even know,

% now

his herald moves towards  
Midgard. We must be ready to meet him."
 

% Ought to intercept the Surfer on the way to Earth rather than letting 
him hit Earth and then stopping him.

s he raised his head to see, he saw the giant charging the rest of  
his clan and a figure in green and white -- Troya stared. Yes, it was  
a Senshi. But if there was a Senshi here, then so must be . . . he  
got to his feet and then picked out the figure clad in black,  
wielding a sword, golden hair tied up in a pair of spheres.

Yes, Sailor Moon, Serenity's champion, the chosen one. YES!

Roaring, Troya charged into battle. This would be a good death.
 

% Well, I guess it's something to look forward to.

"Hail the clan chief!" He bellowed, raising his spear high. "Hail  
Sailor Moon, Chief of Clan Nerium!" Automatically, the other Youma  
followed his lead, bellowing out similar echoes. Troya then grabbed  
the arm of Keitian, one of his more adept students. "Get to the  
others," he hissed. "Round up Khandir's toadies and the suspected  
loyalists to Beryl. Keep them away from the doors and com systems. Be  
quick!" Keitain nodded and moved into the crowd.
 

% I smell a coup a brewing.

"Why should we believe you?" demanded Fury. "How do we know that this  
isn't some complicated trap?"
 

% Complicated Trap and Youma are mutually exclusive.

"Not here? Who's not here?" Demanded Jupiter.

"They're not here," Ami Mizuno whispered in fear. "They're gone. I'm  
alone in here. It's so empty. So alone." Her eyes were crazed. "Why  
can't I hear them? Where are they? Alone. So alone."
 

% Oops. Ami might start having some problems now.

"Woah!" 

% Hmm. I usually spell it 'Whoa' but its your call.

- - - - - - - - -
What Strange would do was never answered as a speedboat flew through  
the portal and landed on the youma, incinerating the entire pack in a  
fiery  star of petroleum.
 

Cute, and extra space between fiery and star

Putting out the fire with a simple spell, Strange watched the man  
clad in a black tuxedo, having leapt out the boat just before the  
crash, run across the desert towards the palace. He was making very  
good time, Strange noted.
 

% Heh. Nice to see Mamo have an impact.

Two minutes ago . . .

The attack killed two of the Wakandans and was meant for Spiderwoman.

Moving fast enough to make the air whistle, the massive metal sphere  
with it's

% its

It was a man with dark skin, and clad in green and yellow. He carried  
the massive sphere and he was smiling unpleasantly.
 

% Ah. Thunderball.

"Why Bruce Banner," Thunderball exclaimed in mock surprise, "as I  
live and breathe, here you are. Been a busy boy, I hear."

"So have you," Banner shot back, arms crossed. "Where'd you get the  
ball and chain, Eli?"

"You'd best be calling me Elliot, if you've got any sense, Banner,"  
Thunderball growled and then his expression brightened. "As for my  
Thunderball here, why it was the strangest thing. While in prison I  
met a man named Dirk Guthwaite and he told me the oddest tale. When

and two other fine fellows broke out,

Somethign missing after when and two

""I'll handle it and I can't let her die. Besides, you can't stop  
me." Banner  sat down and held out his arm. "I'm A plus. Do it."
 

% And how do they penetrate his flesh? He might be able to cause a 
nosebleed by punching himself inthe nose, but that's about it.

"Really? I'm planning on having yours bronzed." With that, Sailor  
Moon charged, but no sooner had she gone three steps than Beryl  
gestured and Sailor Moon vanished. A moment later, so did Beryl.

"Trap?" Banner asked.

 

% Yep

"Ambush," Fury replied as the generals spread out, youma teleporting  
in all around them.

"Beryl was after wanting Sailor Moon," Thunderball said from behind  
them. "But we get your lot all to ourselves."
 

% Nice recovery time by T-Ball. He always one of my favorites in the 
Wrecking Crew.

"Sheer, unfettered brutality," Banner replied, cracking his knuckles,  
"Screw Geneva, screw honor, and screw the U.N.

% Amen!

Sailor Moon let out a derisive snort. "This is the best you got? A  
cheap Matrix rip off? You deserve every bad thing I ever said about  
you."

Beryl smirked. "It suits your outfit. Even if your friends find your  
body, there's no exterior way to free you. Goodbye, Usagi, I'll  
remember you fondly . . . every few centuries, perhaps." Then she  
vanished.

 

% Will try to get to the next part soon. Very nice build up.

DB Sommer

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