Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [Fanfic][Naruto] Suiren, Chapter 7 + 8
From: Aaron Nowack
Date: 11/26/2006, 12:18 AM
To: Eimii

Eimii wrote:
I think it had something to do with why nobody has brought up Sakura's 
pre-existing conditions by this point. After all, even before she had 
her run in with Anko, Sakura's 'natural' response to genjutsu invasion 
was notably... odd.

Hmm.  While true, if I recall correctly most of the observers seemed to
put it down to Ino just running out of chakra, except for Kakashi who
instead thought that it was more Sakura's fighting spirit than Ino's

IIRC, you've had Ino tell her dad about the weird experience, but no one
else would know except for her and Sakura, and since Sakura doesn't seem
to see anything unusual about it (or at least not that she's willing to
share with anyone), I'm not sure how it would come up at this point.

Heh.... i'm not so much about telling the story 'right' as telling it so 
that not everybody acts like an idiot ^_^;

Six of one, half-dozen of the other, I believe. :)

I understand.  I tend to do the same to the characters I like, also. 

Such a twisted expression of 'love' grows from anime fandom -_-;...


It's fairly explicable, though.  People tend to write stories about the
characters they like, and being the main character of a story tends to
attract a certain amount of... unpleasantness.

(The idea basically involves swapping the ages and roles in the story 
 Neji and Itachi, so Neji slaughters the whole Hyuuga Clan except
Hinata and joins Akatsuki while Itachi is in Team Gai.  It'll probably
never get written, since I've yet to figure out what the _plot_ would
really be.)

Haha! Having no plot has never stopped _me_ from writing a fic... but 
then, i've never _finished_ a fic either ^_^;. 


After a number of stories that I started that didn't go anywhere, I've
put myself on a strict rule that I won't spend any time writing a story
until I know what the ending is.

Otherwise, I tend to run out of gas after a few chapters.

That is an idea i haven't 
heard before, and i do wonder what sort of twist this change would 
introduce in the Naruto world. The Hyuuga, despite their abilities, 
aren't nearly as feared as the Uchiha were, i think...

Yeah, it leads to some interesting changes.  For one, Orochimaru
probably never leaves Akatsuki and therefore the Hidden Sound never
exist.  And he has his pick of Sharingan-capable bodies to steal...
and... well, I don't want to spoil too much, in case I do write it one
day.  :)

That's fairly unlikely though, both because of the lack of a plot and
ending, and because I've yet to come up with a good sense of how the
Rock Lee/Itachi relationship would work that's not boringly similar to
the canon Lee/Neji rivalry.  (And also, there's other ideas I want to
get to first.)  But maybe one day...

I hope Suiren makes it to that part of the story; I have a feeling it
would be very... interesting.  :)

If Suiren gets that far, it will likely have already deviated from canon 
by quite a bit. I've got some ideas... but i have to get there, first 

Well, good luck with that.  :)

Chapter 8:
Anko... well, who knows?

I honestly wonder if we'll ever see her again -_-;...

Ibiki got a cameo lately, so Kishimoto hasn't completely forgotten
about that set of characters.  Unfortunately, though, despite being so
much fun Anko's really not that important of a character in canon.

And we'll almost certainly never get a canon answer on what Anko's
Cursed Seal Level 2 form would look like, leaving it up in the air
whether that's unique to each person or shared by everyone with the same
cursed seal.

A little of that; gonna have to modify some dialogue in the next few 
chapters on that score. Mostly, i took out at least three Anko POV 
paragraphs that were more or less filler to introduce Sakura's family 
situation... which has changed ^_^;;;.


Who says the target would be running around free? I figure, you capture 
the target and replace it with a bunshin that can act like the victim, 
bleed like a human, is controlled by _you_, and can be detonated like a 
bomb, and you've got a neat little disposible assassin...

Very true.  Just didn't think it through far enough, I suppose.

Incidentally, IIRC at some point you mention Sakura instructing the
clone as to her chores; it might be a good idea to change/add to that to
mention the orders having to be relayed through Anko or Anko instructing
the clone to take orders from Sakura.  As is, I don't think it's really
clear that the clone is under Anko's control.

...oh my.  Just think of the antics Anko could get up to with a
Sakura-clone that's under her control... particularly since Ino is going
to go meet with the clone... :)

-- Aaron Nowack "Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis." .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - | | Unsubscribing - | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- -----'