Subject: [FFML] Re: [C&C] [Fanfic][Naruto] Suiren, Chapter 7 + 8
From: "Eimii" <>
Date: 11/26/2006, 1:33 AM

Eimii wrote:
I think it had something to do with why nobody has brought up 
pre-existing conditions by this point. After all, even before she had
her run in with Anko, Sakura's 'natural' response to genjutsu 
was notably... odd.

Hmm.  While true, if I recall correctly most of the observers seemed 
put it down to Ino just running out of chakra, except for Kakashi who
instead thought that it was more Sakura's fighting spirit than Ino's

IIRC, you've had Ino tell her dad about the weird experience, but no 
else would know except for her and Sakura, and since Sakura doesn't 
to see anything unusual about it (or at least not that she's willing 
share with anyone), I'm not sure how it would come up at this point.

Hmm... perhaps, but when Anko first captured Sakura, there was a minute 
or two where 'Inner Sakura,' or something similar to her, was actually 
in control of Sakura's physical body, while 'Outer Sakura' was fighting 
off Ino in a battle of wills. At the time, Sakura was pretty freaked out 
by it (though, strangely, she's never seemed too disturbed by Ino's 'two 
minds' accusation...)

Heh.... i'm not so much about telling the story 'right' as telling it 
that not everybody acts like an idiot ^_^;

Six of one, half-dozen of the other, I believe. :)


I understand.  I tend to do the same to the characters I like, also.

Such a twisted expression of 'love' grows from anime fandom -_-;...


It's fairly explicable, though.  People tend to write stories about 
characters they like, and being the main character of a story tends to
attract a certain amount of... unpleasantness.

This is true; it's not easy being the center of the universe, 

(The idea basically involves swapping the ages and roles in the 
 Neji and Itachi, so Neji slaughters the whole Hyuuga Clan except
Hinata and joins Akatsuki while Itachi is in Team Gai.  It'll 
never get written, since I've yet to figure out what the _plot_ 
really be.)

Haha! Having no plot has never stopped _me_ from writing a fic... but
then, i've never _finished_ a fic either ^_^;.


After a number of stories that I started that didn't go anywhere, I've
put myself on a strict rule that I won't spend any time writing a 
until I know what the ending is.

Otherwise, I tend to run out of gas after a few chapters.

That would probably be a good precaution for me to take as well, but i'm 
not sure i'd know a real 'plot' if it snuck up and bit me in the 
ass -_-;.

That is an idea i haven't
heard before, and i do wonder what sort of twist this change would
introduce in the Naruto world. The Hyuuga, despite their abilities,
aren't nearly as feared as the Uchiha were, i think...

Yeah, it leads to some interesting changes.  For one, Orochimaru
probably never leaves Akatsuki and therefore the Hidden Sound never
exist.  And he has his pick of Sharingan-capable bodies to steal...
and... well, I don't want to spoil too much, in case I do write it one
day.  :)

That's fairly unlikely though, both because of the lack of a plot and
ending, and because I've yet to come up with a good sense of how the
Rock Lee/Itachi relationship would work that's not boringly similar to
the canon Lee/Neji rivalry.  (And also, there's other ideas I want to
get to first.)  But maybe one day...

Well, we don't know how Itachi would have turned out if his situation 
were slightly different; the gap between him and Sasuke would only be 
one year, which means his parents wouldn't have been able to spend so 
much time just on him, and he might have ended up closer to Sasuke. 
Under those circumstances, he might have become a friendly, responsible 
older brother, which would really change the dynamic ^_^;. Meanwhile, 
Sasuke's brother complex would probably have been a bit different, as 
Itachi would still probably be a bigger genuis than he is, but any 
rivalry would be much more immediate.

I hope Suiren makes it to that part of the story; I have a feeling 
would be very... interesting.  :)

If Suiren gets that far, it will likely have already deviated from 
by quite a bit. I've got some ideas... but i have to get there, first

Well, good luck with that.  :)


Chapter 8:
Anko... well, who knows?

I honestly wonder if we'll ever see her again -_-;...

Ibiki got a cameo lately, so Kishimoto hasn't completely forgotten
about that set of characters.  Unfortunately, though, despite being so
much fun Anko's really not that important of a character in canon.

Sadly, this is so...

And we'll almost certainly never get a canon answer on what Anko's
Cursed Seal Level 2 form would look like, leaving it up in the air
whether that's unique to each person or shared by everyone with the 
cursed seal.

Gah, i hope it's different; Sasuke's level two form is kinda 
stupid-looking ^_^;;...

Who says the target would be running around free? I figure, you 
the target and replace it with a bunshin that can act like the 
bleed like a human, is controlled by _you_, and can be detonated like 
bomb, and you've got a neat little disposible assassin...

Very true.  Just didn't think it through far enough, I suppose.

Incidentally, IIRC at some point you mention Sakura instructing the
clone as to her chores; it might be a good idea to change/add to that 
mention the orders having to be relayed through Anko or Anko 
the clone to take orders from Sakura.  As is, I don't think it's 
clear that the clone is under Anko's control.

Hmm... good point. All this being said, though, i've thought about it a 
bit more, and just saying that the clone is 'under Anko's control' kind 
of breaks the setting a bit ^_^;. I mean, if you can make a kagebunshin 
of someone else that's under your complete control, the technique would 
be the _perfect_ interrogation technique. Just make a clone and then 
make it tell you whatever you want to know...

So now i think i will say that the clone is _not_ under Anko's control, 
but not under Sakura's control either. The technique is probably 
designed to create a 'body double' that can be fooled into thinking it's 
the real deal, but because of circumstances, this clone knows that it's 
not the real Sakura, and so it will go along with Anko and Sakura's 
plan. I wonder if it would be appropriate for its memories to return to 
Sakura after it is destroyed...

...oh my.  Just think of the antics Anko could get up to with a
Sakura-clone that's under her control... particularly since Ino is 
to go meet with the clone... :)

Hehehe... that could be really bad for Sakura ^_^;;...

Though, if i use the above explanation... it could still be really bad 
for Sakura, as the Sakura in Suiren doesn't exactly have a great track 
record for acting reasonable and mature toward in these sorts of 
situations -_-;

*Okay, so I'm just a clone... dammit! This is _so_ unfair!*

Just as a guess, she might try to get back at Anko somehow, considering 
that she has nothing to lose ^_^;;...


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