Otaku Muyo

(No need for a fan.)

by Tannim Murphy

Disclaimer:  Characters depicted herein are not used
with their respective creators' consent.  Except, of
course, for Tannim and anyone else I made up.

---

Chapter 7

---

Juuban, Japan

A lone girl strode down the virtually deserted
street, the sunset's dying rays illuminating a local
rural shopping district.  At least, it had been up
until a few years ago; now it was deserted due to
lack of business.  As the sun gently receded into
the horizon, Setsuna Meiou carefully walked her
usual path home after a long day at school,
unconcerned by absence of people.  It was something
of a miracle to find a place alone in such a crowded
city, and for the green haired girl this route home
was a pleasant haven, allowing her to have some time
alone to think.

It was tough being popular, Setsuna reflected.  She
supposed it was her own fault, really.  Her father
even cautioned her about taking on as many
responsibilities as she did.  Being captain of the
swim team as well as the student body vice president
left her precious little free time outside of class.
When she wasn�t busy with her rigorous training
schedule that kept her club members at the top of
their league, it often fell to her to assist fellow
students whenever they had a problem.  A few of her
more dedicated underclassmen insisted on private
tutoring after every club session, and she spent
much of her time in the pool tirelessly instructing
the same three girls on the same set of maneuvers.

That they never learned and floundered in the water
like drunken fish was another issue she had learned
to deal with.  Setsuna idly wondered how well her
underclassmen would do if they actually tried to
swim instead of fighting for her attention.

It was the sound of something shattering that broke
Setsuna out of her reverie, and she glanced up at
the crunch of glass being stepped on.  The... thing
...that stepped out of the ruined storefront caused
Setsuna to pause.

In a parody of woman femininity the creature that
greeted her sight wore a dark green body-hugging
leotard that looked more leaf than cloth, and it
either didn�t feel or ignored the broken glass
beneath her lightly greened scaled feet.  A slight
shake of its head cleared surprisingly red hair out
of a pair of distorted purple eyes set on a green
scaled face.

Setsuna stared incredulously.  Then she took a
nervous step backwards as the monster jerked its
head in her direction, and another step as a slow,
evil smile spread across its face.  It had a grin
that stretched from ear to ear, revealing a full set
of very thin and sharp-looking teeth.

�YoU WiLL giVE mE ThE eSSeNcE oF yOuR LifE aNd DiE,�
it promised coldly.  Licking in anticipation, the
long purple tongue slowly caressing its teeth.

Setsuna was not impressed.

�You have got to be kidding me,� she sneered.  �What
are you supposed to be?  A lounge lizard reject?

�i�LL HAve yOU kNoW i�M a YouMA oF ThE hIgHeST
QuaLiTY!� the youma snapped, stomping a foot in
irritation.  The evil look it had been sporting
moments before was replaced by a particularly
petulant pout.  �i WaS CReATed bY NoNE oThEr thAN
LoRD JaDeiTE HiMSeLf!

�Obviously he has no sense of fashion,� Setsuna shot
back.  �I mean really, green on green?  With a red
top?  Please.�  A hand was waved dismissively.  �I
could have designed better in my sleep.

�WhaT�S wRoNG WiTH mY OutFiT?�  The youma glanced
down with worry and note of uncertainty crept into
its horribly distorted voice.  �i haPPeN tO LiKE
gReeN.  i thInK iT coMpLiMeNTs mY EyES.  sO wHAt iF
i�M ALso gReeN?  WhaT dOEs iT rEallY maTTeR?

Several seconds ticked by, without a response.  The
youma looked up with a worried expression on its
face.

Setsuna ignored the shrieks of rage behind her as
she hurried down the narrow alleyway.  Nothing more
than a glorified crawlspace between two buildings,
at least it served as a handy escape route while the
creature had been distracted by her witty banter.
It surprised her that any creature would fall for
such a basic tactic straight out of a comic book,
but Setsuna wasn�t the kind of person to let any
advantage slip by them.

What little light that was left in the day dimmed
considerably as Setsuna made her way deeper into the
alleyway.  Discarded cardboard boxes were the only
obstacle to her footing in an otherwise typically
clean Japanese side-street.  It did not help her
state of mind any to note that the light at the end
of the alley looked suspiciously like a light at the
end of a tunnel.  She was only sixteen; she wasn�t
ready to discover which religion had the afterlife
right!

�WHeRe DiD yOU gO, LiTtLe giRL?

Setsuna risked looking over her shoulder to check on
the status of her enemy, and as she guessed from the
sound of its voice the youma was still at the
entrance of the alleyway looking around wildly.  Now
would be her chance to duck into a handy shadow and
hide.

Unfortunately Setsuna violated the most important
principle of running: never look back.  Murphy�s Law
decided to kick in, and her foot connected with a
previously unseen alley cat sleeping in the shadows.
The thing howled up a ruckus at being disturbed as
it sailed the length of the alley, and this, in
turn, woke up the other twenty felines sleeping in
the alleyway.

�Crap,� Setsuna swore.  It appeared her perfect
escape was not to be.

�THeRE yOU aRe!

As if to mock her situation, one of the cats leapt
onto Setsuna�s left shoulder and clung on, digging
its claws through her thin school uniform and into
her skin.  Rather than try to dislodge the
frightened feline she continued running as fast as
her feet could carry her.

Soon she was out of the alleyway with the youma hot
on her heels.  Blindly she ran into what the fading
light revealed to be a little-used backstreet.  She
hadn't been this way before and was unfamiliar with
the area.  Setsuna hesitated.

�Turn left!

A voice shouted next to Setsuna�s ear, and acting on
pure instinct she reflexively obeyed.  A scaled claw
swiped through the air narrowly missing both girl
and cat, but still managing to dig deep furrows into
the cement wall behind them.

�Did you just talk?�  Setsuna shouted to the cat on
her shoulder as she ran.  Briefly Setsuna wished she
had joined the field and track team instead of the
swim team.

�Luna, pleased to meet you,� Luna replied in a calm
voice.  �I�d cross the street now if I were you.

Without even bothering to look Setsuna threw herself
sideways.  The youma smashed into the ground where
Setsuna had been moments before.

�aWW, i MisSeD!�  It paused.  �BuT thAT WaS fUN!

The youma started taking its time, leaping after
Setsuna every few seconds rather than straight out
running.  This allowed the green-haired girl to
slightly keep ahead of the youma, as long as she ran
as fast as she could.

�WEeEe!  WOohOoO!

It was starting to get hard to breathe, however.
Despite a very impressive set of aquatic lungs the
terror of the situation was getting to Setsuna,
shortening her breath.

�What�s.  Going.  On?� she huffed.

�You�ll only have one chance.  I�m going to expose
its weakness.  You must strike then.

Setsuna was confused.  �What?  Strike?

�No time!�  Luna cried, leaping off of Setsuna�s
shoulder.

The cat dashed off before Setsuna could react, the
act incidentally saving her life as the cat pushed
her just off-balance enough to stumble out of the
way of the youma�s next attack.  She yelped in
surprise, but didn�t pause in her running as she
changed course for another trip across the street.

Setsuna didn�t notice the youma pause behind her,
looking between herself and the direction that the
cat, Luna, ran off to.  This allowed her time to run
up to the backside of a building that was very
large; she lamented, however, that the next alleyway
was quite a ways down.

As she ran she noticed a long, thin metal pipe in
her path.  It was about two inches in diameter, four
feet long and very thick.  In other words it was the
perfects size for a Jo staff, a four-foot version of
the six-foot Bo staff, famed for having been the
only type of weapon to defeat Japan�s greatest
swordsman, Miyamoto Musashi, in single combat.

Not that she knew how to use such a weapon.  But a
long metal pipe in her hands would certainly go far
towards making her feel safer.

Setsuna paused to snatch up the weapon.  When she
straightened up, Setsuna realized with a start that
she couldn�t hear where the creature was any longer,
and risked a look behind her to see where the
monster had gone to.

To her great relief there was nothing behind her.
�It must have gone after the cat,� Setsuna mused.
Maybe if she got enough distance from the area, the
youma would forget about her entirely.

It was fortunate that Setsuna was slow to step
forward.  The direction the youma had taken was
revealed as it fell from the sky.  The youma crashed
in front of Setsuna, knocking her down with
surprise.  Setsuna landed unceremoniously on her
posterior, sending the pipe flying as it slipped
from her fingers.

�Ha hA!  FoOLeD yA!�  The youma pointed at Setsuna
and laughed.  �YoU sHOulD hAvE SEeN tHe LoOK oN yOuR
fAcE!  iT wAs tO DiE FoR!�  It paused to wipe away a
tear.  �ThAT wAs sO fUnnY, i�M aLMoST sOrrY i HaVE
tO kILL yOu NoW.

When the youma finally opened its eyes, it found
itself talking to a Setsuna-shaped hole.

�NOT AgAIN!�  It spotted Setsuna quickly and began
stalking after her at a brisk pace.  �i CaN�T
BeLIEve YoU DiD ThAT tWIcE tO mE!  JeeZ, tHaT ReALLy
TiCkS mE oFF!

Setsuna whimpered.  The best she had been able to do
was bolt across the street while the youma had been
distracted.  There were a couple of doors over
there; hopefully one would be unlocked.

A black blur shot from the shadows and leapt onto
the youma�s face before it could react, clawing
madly at its forehead.  Scales flaked quickly away
under the assault until Luna was illuminated with a
pink light from whatever she�d uncovered, at which
point she leapt up.

�WHaT DiD YoU dO tO mE kItTY?!�  The youma cried,
shocked, as it clutched at its protruding heart
crystal.  It was now clearly visible and radiating a
pink light.

Luna paused on top of the head long enough to shout,
�Shatter the crystal!� before leaping away to
safety.

Despite Luna�s feline agility, however, the youma
snatched the cat out of mid-air before Luna could
fully escape.

�BaD kItTY!

With a flick of its wrist the creature pitched Luna
hard against the nearby concrete wall.  The
unfortunate moon cat impacted with a sickening
crunch and landed in an uneven heap on the ground.

Setsuna found her pipe again and took the time to
re-arm herself, holding the weapon in front of her
awkwardly.  None of the doors she had tried were
open, and there weren�t any handy alleyways to
scurry away in.  Apparently her last option was to
fight it out.

Great, she�d been Treasurer of the Students for
World Peace Club for nothing.  Why hadn�t she taken
her father�s advice and learned a martial art?

�oH, YoU�rE gOnnA PaY, mIssIE,� the youma promised
as it fearlessly stomped towards her.  It raised a
digit in agitation.  �FiRSt i�M gOnnA--

Both the green-haired girl and the evil minion were
startled by a sudden squealing of tires, followed by
the bright glare of headlights.  Both came without
warning from the direction Setsuna had been running.

�Eeeek!

�mY EyEs!  THeY BURN!

Set at an intensity normally reached only by the
sun, the headlights blinded anyone vaguely looking
in its general direction.  Thanks to the fact that
Setsuna was currently cowering in the lee of a
doorway, her retinas were saved by reflexively
shutting her eyes.  Being out in the middle of the
street, the youma was not so lucky.

The screech of torn metal echoed down the street
above the din of a diesel engine.  At impact the
Hino truck was traveling somewhere around forty
miles an hour.

Setsuna stared hard at the empty space in front of
her, trying to blink her eyes clear of spots and not
quite believing her luck.  What were the odds such a
large truck would come barreling down such a narrow,
out of the way backstreet at this time of night?

---

The youma was surprised, to say the least.  Being
denied its prize at the cusp of victory was somewhat
of a shock.

Despite being highly resilient to damage the monster
couldn�t prevent itself from being half-way indented
into the truck, with its left arm immobilized within
the twisted remains of the grill.  The youma decided
after a moment of careful consideration that the
most painful part on its body had to be its breasts.
It wasn�t just that the soft part of its chest was
lacerated on the shattered glass that had formerly
been two front headlights; there was also a constant
flow of electricity where its decidedly perky
breasts were firmly jammed into the arcing light
sockets.

After flailing its arm madly and banging it several
times against the side of the truck in agitation,
the driver finally noticed his new hood ornament.
Without missing a beat he pulled a sawed-off
double-barrel shotgun from the hostler beneath his
seat and leveled it at the demon.

�i thOUghT GuNS wErE OutLAwED iN JapAN!� screeched
the youma.

The man took a deep drag on his cigarette, idly
cracked his neck and spoke without bothering to
remove the Marlboro.  �Too bad for you no one told
the Great Driver Onizuka.

The creature howled in anger and frustration as it
stared straight into the twin barrels inches away
from its eyeballs.  Let him do his worst!

Wait, wasn�t its heart crystal--?

Onizuka shot the youma point-blank in the face,
payload from both barrels booming loudly even
against the din of the truck engine.  The creature
crumbled into fine dust as the device that gave it
life was shattered.

�Stupid demons,� Onizuka grumbled and picked at his
nose, after he stashed his gun back in its hiding
place.  �Shit!  Japan sure is going to hell these
days.

---

Setsuna found Luna to be in bad shape.  It was all
Setsuna could do to make Luna comfortable by gently
rubbing a thumb her between the cat�s ears.

�The Dark Kingdom was attacking and I... I couldn�t
just lie there, pretending nothing was happen...
ning.  Here, take this--� the cat unhooked a small,
oddly-shaped crystal from her collar with the last
of her strength, �--and use it to fight... the
darkness...

Luna�s breathing became more erratic, and Setsuna
had to lean in close in order to hear the cat�s last
words.  �Protect... the princess ...you�re our only
hope... Sailor Moon.

Luna�s small body violently twitched one last time,
then stilled.

---

Crossroads, California

Tannim Murphy woke in a foul mood, not entirely
willing to surrender his rest to the daylight hours.
He knew he was having problems if he was having
crazy dreams about Sailor Pluto as a teenager.  As
usual the details of the dream escaped him, but he
was left with a vague impression of uneasiness and
fear, and he reflected that he was getting a lot of
that these days.

�I have got to start remembering my dreams better,�
Tannim mumbled without opening his eyes or bothering
to move.  By his reckoning he had more than earned
some rest.  It was highly doubtful he�d had a decent
night�s sleep since he started those night classes
with Rukia, and his day job wasn�t exactly a picnic
either.  Whatever he was laying on felt as
comfortable as goose down to his tired body.
Feelings of warmth and protection spread throughout
his form and instinctually he rubbed his face deeper
into the substance for more comfort.

The sound that resulted from the movement caused
Tannim to pause.  �What the...?�  He wiggled again,
this time with his whole body to verify that yes:
his ears were right next to some rocks that were
grinding together.  The sound was small but
unmistakable due to the range.

�Oh thank God!  I totally thought you were dead!

Tannim was interrupted from his musings by a
feminine voice behind him and to his right that he
didn�t immediately recognize.  The man blearily
raised his head to look around and his eyes passed
over the girl twice before finally taking note of
her.  Pale blonde hair cascaded unchecked down the
back of her green t-shirt and reached the tops of
her blue jeans, while a backwards-swept baseball cap
held her hair out of a pair of inquisitive blue
eyes.  If pressed Tannim would have placed her age
around sixteen or so.

�I�m the managers� daughter,� she said looking
concerned.  �Are you all right?  Like, what were you
doing sleeping on a pile of rocks?

Tannim mumbled an incoherent response and groggily
moved himself to a sitting position.  His whole body
felt sluggish and weak while his mind wasn�t fairing
much better.  Brainpower was working around the
level of �fire bad, tree pretty.�  A quick look
around still confused the hell out of him as things
had changed dramatically overnight.  After several
false starts he finally managed to croak out a
question.  �Wha� happen?

The girl didn�t seem to mind as she chatted away.
�Looks like during the night the ol� waterwheel�s
main axle just snapped right off and carried the
whole kit �n caboodle downstream.  It was, like, a
humungous storm last night with tons of flooding.
We�re so totally lucky to have our apartments on the
high ground.  The worst of it was downstream.

It took some effort, but Tannim managed to focus his
attention on the girl.  There was a quality about
her that was tickling his clouded memories something
fierce.  Coincidently at the same moment, the girl
looked back at him as if also trying to recall a
lost memory.

�Have we met before?� they asked each other at the
same time.

�I don�t think so,� the two continued in perfect
unison.

�That�s creepy.

�Stop it!

�You stop it!

Conversation halted as both people clamped their
mouths shut with audible clicks.  Tannim pointed at
the girl and indicated that she should speak first.

�Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot,� the blonde
grinned self-consciously and stuck out her hand.
�Name�s Deedlit Anderson.  Pleased ta meet�cha!

�Charmed,� Tannim replied faintly as he shook the
digit.  Trying his level best to clear the mental
fog he shook his head and pinched at the bridge of
his nose.  �I�m sorry, I must have misheard you.  I
thought you said your name was Deedlit.

�Yep!�  Deedlit nodded cheerfully.  �That�s my name!

�That�s impossible, Deedlit�s an elf.�  The mumbled
words escaped Tannim�s lips before he realized he
was speaking them, restraint having been tied to
higher brain functions that were currently offline.
He mentally kicked himself for the slip.

�You damaged or something?�  Deedlit peered closely
at the man, giving his muscled form a more thorough
appraisal.  Subconsciously she licked her lips.
�You look totally fine, though you wouldn�t know
�cuz of those rags.�  Deedlit giggled, wrinkling her
nose cutely at her own joke; Tannim found the action
endearing for no reason that he could immediately
fathom.

�Huh?� Tannim replied intelligently.  A look down
revealed his shirt so badly shredded it had fallen
off his shoulders, and his pants weren�t fairing
much better.  Dogs wouldn�t have chewed on the
ragged remains of his clothing.  �Whoa, when did
that--� he halted in mid-thought and answered
himself.  �Right, the bakusai tenketsu training.�  A
glance towards the shattered remains of the
waterwheel caused Tannim to wince, as it was certain
that his and Skuld�s machine hadn�t helped matters
in that regard.

Deedlit eyes lit up with unabashed curiosity.
�Training?  You�re a martial artist?�  She waved a
hand dismissively.  �Like, of course you are, with
those muscles.  Pshaw.  So like, what kind of
training?

�Uh, endurance training.  Toughen my body to sleep
in the worst possible conditions.�  It wasn�t
exactly a lie, and it was certainly easier than
trying to explain the truth.  He�d be nervously
tugging at his collar if Tannim still had one.

It was only after Tannim took a few moments to get a
better look around did he realize just how
devastating the night before had been.  Right off
hand he noticed that it wasn�t just the waterwheel
that was lost downstream... Tannim counted no less
than five trees in the immediate area that had also
been washed away from the side of the banks as well.
Of the machine that had tormented him there was no
sign, and upon further inspection what he had
previously thought of as goose dander was revealed
to be the shattered remains of his training rock.

On the one hand, the pile of gravel meant that last
night had technically been a success: he had
succeeded in performing the breaking point
technique.  On the other hand, he couldn't remember
actually learning the technique, which probably
meant he was headed towards buying another damn
stone for more training.

It was Tannim's silent hope that he'd suddenly
remember the technique in a moment of crisis, and
use it to save himself from certain doom.  The risk
of death felt far safer than more training.

"I�m fine," Tannim waved off the concerned looks
Deedlit was throwing his way and stood up suddenly.
That he wobbled for a moment before he was able to
catch himself hadn�t reassured her in the slightest.
"I�ve got to get back to my apartment, some guests
from out of town are staying with me," he explained.
Squinting at the sun did not yield any useful
information.  �What time is it, anyways?

�It�s like, almost ten in the morning,� Deedlit
replied.  �You sure you�re okay?  I can totally help
you walk home if you need it.

Tannim looked down at her and for the first time
realized how short Deedlit actually was.  The top of
her head barely came up to his chin, and she was
skinny as hell.  He grinned wryly.  �I�m afraid I�d
break you.

The blonde frowned, obviously not used to that kind
of attitude.  �I�m a sturdy girl,� she protested.
�I�m a martial artist too, y�know?

�Whatever,� Tannim shook his head slightly to clear
it.  �I can manage just fine.  I�ve had worse.�
What could he say, he believed in machoism at its
finest.  �I�ve really got to get going.

When Tannim turned his back to Deedlit to leave, she
started giggling.  Deedlit pointed and asked, �Is
that a book sticking out of your butt?

Tannim halted and reached behind to check.  Now he
recalled he had placed Rukia underneath his
waistband rather than trust his pockets to keep her
held.  It was something of a miracle the book hadn�t
been washed away in the storm.

�Teenagers,� Tannim grumbled stiffly.  The walk home
wasn�t going to be a pleasant one, as each movement
elicited a protest from his sore muscles.  It was
all he could do to keep upright and moving in a
straight line, really.

Rather than give Deedlit the satisfaction of a
response Tannim forced his tired body homeward, and
the blonde girl let him leave without further
comment.  Later, after he thought about it for a
while, Tannim admitted to himself that the teen
would have been a dead ringer for Deedlit from
Record of the Lodoss War, if only she had green eyes
and longer ears.

Despite the warm morning air Tannim shivered.  Just
when he thought his sense of doom meter was
completely pegged, it discovered a few more notches
to go up.

---

The screen door to the kitchen slammed shut,
signaling to the room's sole occupant that her
daughter had arrived home.  Umi Anderson was dressed
in a brown pleated skirt, with a tan t-shirt and a
frilly pink apron.  Her long, luxurious blue hair
nearly stretched all the way to the floor, but was
restrained in a conservative fashion with a simple
ponytail.

Umi glanced up from the pan she was frying several
eggs in as her daughter sat down without as much as
a 'how do you do.'  "How was your morning jog,
dear?" she asked, managing to keep the irritation
out of her voice.

"Oh, I met a boy," Deedlit replied, obviously
distracted.  It didn't occur to her to mention the
condition of the waterwheel; it was assumed one of
the residents near the area would report it.  Her
mind was on more important matters.

"Did you now?"  Umi raised a speculative eyebrow.
"Was he nice?"

"He totally reminded me of dad with the �I�m too
tough to be injured� attitude, but I guess he was
kinda cute.  The weird part is I have a strange
feeling that we�ve met somewhere before..."  Deedlit
grabbed a piece of bacon off the communal plate, and
nibbled on one end delicately.

Interrupting her musing, Deedlit�s cell phone rang
from her left pocket.  She pulled out a pink number
decorated with a single keychain from which a tiny
plush knight in gold armor hung.  With practiced
ease the blonde flicked it open with a sharp twist
of her wrist.

�Hello?

�We need you.

Deedlit sighed and glanced over at her mother.
Cupping a hand to the receiver, she lowered her
voice.  "You know I don�t do that any more, Makoto.
I resigned."

Deedlit Anderson easily ranked the most skilled and
powerful fighter Bonnie had ever recruited, and was
trained from a young age by both her mother and her
father.  Ryuuzaki Umi, as she had been known in
Japan, was a world-renown fencing champion.  Drake
Anderson was simply a supremely qualified soldier
formerly of an army her father refused to specify.
The combination of sword exercises and combat drills
mixed liberally with sword drills and combat
exercises left their mark on her abilities, and she
was an expert in anything that required physical
coordination.

However, despite both parents insisting on good
grades, neither pressed her too hard about her C's
and D's in certain subjects as long as she
faithfully participated in their individual training
sessions.  Suffice to say, Deedlit preferred
spending time with her parents over homework any
day.

Three weeks ago was the last time Deedlit had acted
in "official" capacity for Bonnie and Her Armies,
and they definitely felt the loss.

Three weeks ago, Deedlit had finally met Gunter.
Their relationship was a rocky one from the start.

It wasn't just that was Gunter notorious for
terrorizing any mallrat that wandered near his
store.  He had also refused to sell Deedlit the
latest in unicorn figurines simply because she was
associated with Bonnie as her primary enforcer.
Apparently he had issues with the way Bonnie
effectively took over the mall; horning in on his
territory, as he called it.

To add injury to this insult, when Deedlit tried to
have a reasonable discussion with the crazy old
German, he set off a low explosive-yield landmine
that sent a large amount of splinters directly into
her legs.  It was only recently that she had been
able to remove the last of them.

And then, when her parents had found out what she
had been up to with her "friends," well... let's
just say the splinters were less painful than the
several tag-team lectures that followed.

Makoto hesitated, recalling the incident, but orders
were orders, and her Queen had been very specific:
get Deedlit back.

"It�s a personal matter," she continued slowly.
"We�re only after one man.  I had him as a customer
at the restaurant.  He, well, he made some passes at
me, even when I told him to stop.  And there was a
young girl with him.  I think... um... that he�s a
pedophile.  And he's due to work at the mall any
minute at MegaGamers."  The last part came out in a
rush.

Deedlit�s eyes narrowed and her breathing quickened;
the only outward signs of an inner rage that had
just been ignited.  "All right," she replied calmly.
"Mom will just have to understand.  I�ll be there."
The cell phone closed with an audible snap and was
quickly shoved into her jean pocket.

"Where do you think you're going?"  Umi hadn't
missed the chance to eavesdrop on her daughter.  It
was her job slash right to listen in on a
conversation in her own household, wasn't it?
Besides, if no one took steps to look after this
family, there's no telling the kind of trouble
they'd get into.  "You're still grounded from three
weeks ago, missy," she reminded primly.

�Sorry moms, I gots to go.  Duty calls.�  Deedlit
stood at attention and stared out the window, away
from her mother.  While she was determined to leave,
experience taught her that letting her parental
units vent on her before she broke the rules was
much easier in the long run.

Rather than the outburst Deedlit expected, Umi
kissed the top of her daughter�s forehead.  The
blue-haired mother lovingly caressed Deedlit's
cheek, and Umi's eyes shimmered with tears barely
held in check.  �I understand.  You've got to
protect your friends.  It's a part of growing up
I'll just have to get used to."  Reluctantly she let
go of Deedlit's face and sighed.  "Please be safe
dear."

Deedlit brightened considerably.  �Thanks mom!  I
will!

"Wait, dear, before you go..."  Umi bit her lip in a
moment of contemplation, before slowly nodding her
head, finally coming to terms with something she's
been wrestling with for quite some time.  "I also
want you to take the family sword with you," she
decided.

"Gee, thanks moms," Deedlit replied, awed at the
gesture of trust and respect.  "That means a lot to
me."  The family sword was an heirloom her mother
supposedly brought back from another world called
Rayearth, where she had been some sort of 'Magic
Knight.'  Wherever it came from, it was the lightest
and most balanced weapon Deedlit ever had the
privilege to wield, and that had only been three
times previously.  "I love you," she hugged her
mother, tears in eyes.

"I love you too darling," Umi replied, gripping her
daughter fiercely a few moments longer than
necessary.  "Try not to worry your mother."

"Don't worry mom.  Just this one scumbag, that's it.
I'll be home before lunch."

---

Morning came early during the summer, and slightly
earlier to those whose windows were on the second
floor of a building.  Even with the sun shining
through windows devoid of curtains, Urd and her
younger sister Skuld continued to sleep soundly.
Both still had on the heavenly clothing they had
been wearing the day before, and despite the earlier
wear and tear neither set of clothes appeared dirty
or wrinkled.

"AAH-CHOO!"

The paper-thin walls did nothing to stop the sneeze
from reverberating throughout the apartment and into
the bedroom.  Urd startled awake at the loud noise,
but it took her a few moments to recall where she
was, and why.  The goddess jerked forward as her
eyes darted back and forth, taking in the details of
the room around her and noting that the large pink
pillows and satin sheets that normally adorned her
room at home were absent, replaced by cheap looking
leopard-print knockoffs for both the sheets and
pillowcases.

Ah, she had to be on Earth, Urd's sleepy mind
reasoned.  No one in heaven had this poor of taste.

Then she remembered Tannim.

Involuntarily, Urd jerked at the memory of having
her deepest fear so cavalierly treated, as well as
her greatest question answered, all in one sentence.
How could he have known about her angel, not to
mention its name?  Was he reading her mail or
something?  Even she didn't know that!

And darn him, why did the fool have to be so smug
about it?

Skuld managed to stay asleep despite the sudden
jolt.  Rather than disturb her sister, Urd escaped
as quietly as she could from bed and headed towards
the rest of the apartment.  She took special care to
open the door slowly, and then close it shut, so she
wouldn't wake Skuld.  Once her task was complete she
turned around and froze.

The platinum-haired goddess stared in silent
disbelief at the pile of food in front of Tannim.
For all intents and purposes it appeared he had
decided to devour the kitchen.  There was a pile of
instant ramen next to him that reached from the
floor to the top of the table, stacked in the
pyramid formation.  What few vegetables Tannim had
bought were strewn about on the table, along with
everything else that had been in the refrigerator.
Currently he was alternating bites of raw ramen
packets with fresh baby carrots.

�What are you doing?�  Urd asked politely.

�Starving,� replied Tannim between bites.

Urd let the matter drop and wisely decided to switch
topics.  It took only a moment to settle herself
down in the chair across from the mortal.  �So I see
you survived the training and escaped the
contraption.  How did the training go?

Tannim paused between tossing aside an empty bag of
ramen and opening a new one.  "I�m alive and eating
food at a rate that would put a Saotome to shame,"
he grinned weakly.  "I have to hope that's good."

"I like the new look," Urd commented and openly
stared at Tannim's mostly-naked form.

"Oh yeah," he said and looked down.  "I suppose I
should change outta these rags..."

"Don't hurry on my account," Urd replied lazily,
propping her chin with one hand while her other
toyed with a strand of platinum-white hair.  "The
view is nice."

Tannim stared at Urd as if she had grown a second
head.  It was weird enough that he was sitting down
at the dinner table and having a conversation with
Urd, THE Urd, albeit an Urd several years removed
from the timeline he was familiar with.  Now she was
hitting on him?

"How about you?" he finally asked.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm just... perfect."  During Urd's reply, she
leaned forward just far enough to rest her elbows on
the dining table, incidentally granting Tannim a
spectacular view of her cleavage.  Just like most of
Urd's outfits the purple suit with black and tan
trim had a very low neckline, and more importantly,
the goddess did not believe in wearing a bra.

Tannim coughed hard on a piece of ramen that
suddenly found itself lodged in his throat.  The
surprise at being assaulted by Urd's... charms
...caught him off-guard, and he grabbed a glass of
water to wash it down.  Urd's self-satisfied smirk
was of the cat that had just eaten the canary; she
practically purred with delight at the reaction.

Tannim carefully considered his next move.  An idea
occurred to him, and he gave Urd a concerned look.
"You know, your sister has a jealous streak a mile
wide.  You should probably stop that."

"Really?"  Urd's eyes widened, but she got the hint
and sat back.  "Even I didn't know that."

"Oh yeah," Tannim nodded.  "Personally I believe it
was because she loved Keiichi so mu--"

By the time Tannim realized the slip the only thing
he could do was forcefully interrupt his speech by
biting down on the last bit of celery.  He silently
berated himself for being stupid again.  There
really was no reason for him to be spouting fanboy
information like that.  Maybe his subconscious self
was paying him back for getting Rukia mad last
night.

Urd perked with curiosity.  "What was that?"

"Nothing?" Tannim tried without any real hope of
success.

"That wasn't nothing."  The goddess's eyes narrowed.
"Who's Keiichi?"

The phone rang, and the man leapt up as if struck.

Urd wouldn't be distracted, however.  "Who's
Keiichi, Tannim?"

"Uuhh, I've got to answer that," he replied vaguely.
It took willpower not to wilt under Urd's glare as
he moved over to the receiver and picked up the
phone.  "Hello?"

An unexpected voice erupted loudly in his ear.
"Tannim, m'boy!  How're ya doin'?"

Tannim had to pause for a moment to let the ringing
subside.  "Gunter?  Izzat you?  How'd you get this
number anyhow?" he asked, incidentally turning away
from Urd and her Glare of Death.

"The phonebook," Gunter replied without missing a
beat.  "But that's not important.  Tannim, you've
been a good employee... and you aren't dead yet.  I
feel it's time to increase your responsibility.
Slightly.  For a short while."

Tannim had stopped wondering how he was in the phone
book at the words 'good employee.'  Gunter was
beating around the bush, would he come out and say
what he called to say?

Apparently, for Gunter's next sentence came out in a
burst.  "Tomorrow you work alone."

"Me?"

"You can handle the store for a day."

Tannim really wasn't looking forward to testing the
limits his bakasai
tenketsu training had endowed him with...

"But what about those crazy Amazons?" he pleaded.
"So far I've managed to avoid them mostly by luck,
but that won't last forever.  I'm afraid at this
point if I show myself they'll skin me alive."

"Aw, c'mon," Gunter coaxed, "you really going to let
yourself be pushed around by a bunch of girls?"

"Yes," Tannim replied without hesitation.

Gunter remained silent for a long moment.  "Oh."

It was with that pause from Gunter that Tannim
realized what had been bothering him throughout the
phone call.  "Wait a second.  Is that... is that
surf gently crashing against pristine beachhead in
the background I hear?"

This time the silence stretched a bit further.  In
the background a set of bongo drums began a lively
Caribbean tune.  "Maybe a little," the former
terrorist finally admitted.

Tannim's right eye twitched slightly, but his voice
remained deadpan.  "Fine.  All right.  Whatever.
I�ll work one more day, but that�s it, all right?
I�ve had a sort of family emergency come up that
I've really got to take care of."

"Thanks!  You�re an all right kid!"  Gunter hung up
before Tannim could respond.

Tannim scratched the back of his head in irritation.
"I just know I�m gunna regret this."

Urd refused to be ignored.  As soon as Tannim hung
up the phone she stood up to her full height,
planted her fists on her hips, and leaned forward to
glare at the mortal.  "You're dodging the question,
and I want answers.  How do you know what you know?
And who's Keiichi, Tannim?"

Skuld opened the door from the bedroom.  "Why is
everyone so noisy this morning?" she complained,
wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"Skuld!  Just the girl I wanted to see!" Tannim
exclaimed, and motioned the young goddess towards
him.  He ignored Urd for now as a problem he'd need
to deal with later.  "I've got a special assignment
for you.  I actually need you to build some
gadgets."

This announcement snapped Skuld from her stupor.
"Wha, really?  You mean it?"  She almost dared not
hope.

Tannim nodded.  "Mmm-hmm.  I want you to go hog wild
on anything in the apartment, making anything your
heart desires.  The only item off-limits is my
laptop."

"Why this sudden change of heart?" Urd asked
suspiciously.

Tannim snapped his fingers in remembrance.  "Oh
yeah, I almost forgot about the assignment.  Make
sure you devise at least one weapon for personal
defense."

Skuld smirked.  "Just one?"

Tannim nodded.  "Remember, though, it also has to
look innocent enough not to be detected by normal
means," he replied.  "I really don't want to get
arrested for letting a minor carry a dangerous
weapon if we're stopped by the police."

"Sure!  No sweat!"  Skuld gave Tannim the 'V for
victory' pose, grinning like a maniac.

Tannim paused to reflect.  "At least I don't really
care anymore if the apartment explodes," he muttered
to himself fatalistically.  More loudly he
continued, "Anyway, Urd, I'm outta here."

Urd marched over to the front door and stood
resolute in front of the it, arms stretching across
the doorway to block Tannim's path.  She didn't
budge an inch as he strode up to her, even when his
nose was nearly touching hers.  "For the last time,"
she asked.  "Who.  Is.  Keiichi?"

Instead of answering Tannim gently took firm hold on
her hips, lifted her to the side just enough so she
was out of his way, and stepped out the door.  "I
don't have time for this Urd.  We'll talk after
work."  He slammed the door shut nearly on her face.
Urd stood silently for a long moment, contemplating.

Skuld looked nervously at her sister, and took a
step away from her as she caught sight of the look
on Urd's face.

"He didn't just run away before answering my
question, did he?"  Urd asked the door.

"Methinks he thinks he can escape from you, dear
sister," Skuld replied in place of the wood
paneling.  There was a hint of admiration in her
voice for the sheer audacity of the mortal to walk
out on her big sis like that.  She took another step
back, just in case.

Urd shook her head slowly.  "Oh, he's going to
answer my question one way or another."  Eventually,
her eyes came to rest on Tannim's laptop computer.
"Oh yes, he will answer them."

"Jeez," Skuld pouted in the sudden silence.  "Why do
you always have to be such a drama queen, Urd?"

Urd glanced sidelong at her younger sister.  "Forgot
already, did you?  Why don't you go along and play
with the rest of Tannim's toys?"  She made a shooing
motion towards the direction of the television.  "Go
on, knock yourself out."

Skuld's eyes lit up like twin fusion reactors coming
online, and she clapped her hands together with
glee.  "Oh yeah!  I've got so many ideas I've wanted
to try out!"

As her younger sister leapt at the television with
abandon, Urd turned her attention to Tannim's
laptop.  "You will divulge your secrets to me," she
whispered to the device.  "And soon, Tannim, I will
know you better than you know yourself... and
then... then I will crush you!"

Skuld ignored her older sister as the elder goddess
cackled madly.  The young inventor already had the
framework of the television dismantled and was in
the process of burrowing through the electronics.
She did, however, pause long enough to roll her
eyes.

Both sisters did their level best to ignore each
other in favor of focusing on their respective
activities.  More importantly, they forgot about
their current situation, exactly what Tannim had
been hoping for.  This time for once, things went
the way Tannim had planned them.

The rest of his day was another story entirely.

---

TBC...

Author's Notes:  First off, an extra-special thanks
to Rick Spiff, for giving me scene ideas, and even
writing part of the conversation with Gunter.  He
always gives great, in-depth and accurate
corrections of my mistakes, as well as funny and
insightful story comments.  Thanks!

I wish I had written faster, but was busy with
college over the summer and fall.  Hopefully the
contents of this chapter make up for the time anyone
spent waiting.  I really wanted to get to the
mallrat mayhem, but plot kept getting in the way.
The next chapter or two should see an end to
Tannim's Excellent Mallrat Adventures, and onto the
next story arc.

Thanks for reading!

-Tannim Murphy

"Writers who take more time trying to spell than write are editors."  -Unknown
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