Avenging
Act III, All You Need is Hate
Chapter 2


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Standard disclaimer: I don�t own any of the Marvel characters or other 
characters from the numerous animes which are within.

Here�s a great reference guide for many character and objects in the 
Marvel Universe.

[http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/index.htm]

[Last Chapter: Man Beat made his bid for control of the ALF, Ryouga 
related his tale of his grudge against Ranma, while Kang went time 
traveling in order use the Fourth Sleeper to destroy the Avengers, 
failing in the process largely thanks to Giant Man and the Wasp.]

xxxxxxxxxxxx

�Don�t tell me you�re going in again?� Kiyoshi Sogabe asked.

Ichiro Nikaido made certain his fellow scientist could see his smile 
through the hazmat suit�s clear faceshield. �I�m sure I�m about to make 
a breakthrough. I figure a couple more hours and maybe inspiration will 
hit. I can feel it.�

Kiyoshi rolled his eyes. �You�ve been at it for twenty-four hours 
straight and aren�t any closer to the solution than you were before. 
Personally I think you�re developing a very Ahab-like vendetta in this 
project.�

�Arab?� Ichiro pronounced slowly.

�Ahab. It�s a reference to Moby Dick, a Western novel. The captain in it 
wanted revenge on a whale. That desire for vengeance consumed him and 
ended up destroying all of those around him in the end,� Kiyoshi explained.

Ichiro gave a dismissive wave. �You and your foreign influences. Give an 
example from Japanese literature next time.� He laughed and headed to 
the lab.

Kiyoshi shook his head sadly. Ichiro had become disturbingly obsessed 
with his little project. He hadn�t even checked his suit�s seals 
properly before heading in. Not that anything he was handling would be 
hazardous, but it was standard operating procedure. The rules were there 
for a reason. Well, Kiyoshi might have skimped on them from time to 
time, too, but he was more careful than that stumblebum friend of his.

He supposed it didn�t really matter since it was Ichiro�s problem. 
Kiyoshi went to the showers and cleaned up. Ordinarily he would just 
grab a shower (or on special occasions luxuriate in a hot bath) at home 
rather than using the company�s facilities, but he had a date with a 
cute little receptionist in engineering he had been hitting on for the 
last month. He couldn�t figure out why she had finally accepted, unless 
she had broken up with her previous boyfriend, or found out what 
Kiyoshi�s salary was. In any case, you used whatever got your foot in 
the door and charmed them from there.

Thirty minutes later Kiyoshi was cleaned up and ready to go. A quick 
glance at his watch revealed his date wouldn�t be done for another 
twenty minutes, after which they would go straight to the bar after 
work. That was enough time to check on Ichiro and see if he had fallen 
asleep next to the old �Bunsen burner� as his old college professor had 
termed it when working extra long shifts.

Kiyoshi used his ID card to enter the security room. He talked briefly 
to the bored guard (who looked like he was about to fall asleep even 
worse than Ichiro) manning the monitors before turning to the ones 
focused on the lab. A glance showed Ichiro hard at work with his Petrie 
dishes, tuning out the rest of the world he wanted to save, or at least 
a portion of it.

Kiyoshi almost left, then on impulse, turned on a speaker to the lab. 
�So, Ahab, how goes the hunt for the great white whale?�

Ichiro turned away from his work and looked up at the monitor. �Great 
whites are sharks, not whales.�

As Ichiro said that, he knocked over one of the vials he had been using. 
The top had not been clamped shut properly, and the contents spilled on 
the floor, puddling at his feet.

�Thanks for making me spill my project. I just got done working on that 
one,� Ichiro said testily.

Kiyoshi watched as Ichiro bent over, then stopped. The scientist looked 
at his gloved hand for some reason.

�What is it?� Kiyoshi asked.

Rather than answering, Ichiro began to convulse. It was a slight tremor 
at first, but then became more violent, like an epileptic seizure.

�Shit, I�ve got to get down there.� Kiyoshi turned away from the monitor.

Just as he was about to leave the security room he head the guard gasp. 
Kiyoshi turned and gazed in shock at the scene in front of the monitor.

Ichiro had headed toward it, his facemask pointed at the camera in an 
obviously pleading gesture. Blood poured from his nostrils and eyes as 
he convulsed uncontrollably. It was the most horrifying thing Kiyoshi 
had ever seen. He watched transfixed as blood ran down his friend�s 
face, covering it in a crimson mask.

And then Ichiro hit the floor, his body finally ceasing its movement.

Kiyoshi was in shock, barely listening to the guard babble to himself as 
he leafed through a manual about what to do in such a situation. Finally 
the guard hit the alarm that sealed the lab and alerted the bio-hazard 
team to the calamity.

In the time it took him to do that, Kiyoshi watched as the suited form 
of his friend slowly began to flatten, until it appeared there was 
nothing left other than an empty suit.

Kiyoshi ended up missing his date.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

�What do you mean it�s being classified as an �industrial accident�?�

Kiyoshi stared at his supervisor, Tetsuki, a middle-aged man of no 
talent whose only reason for being head of the department was that he 
had written a paper thirty years ago that had garnered enough attention 
for him to be proclaimed the next Petrie. Only it turned out to be more 
in the vein of Walli instead of Julius. But not before managing to 
cement his position in the company.

�Technically it was,� the blubbery man said, more nervous than Kiyoshi 
had ever seen him.

�He did not fall into an,� he looked over the report again. �incinerator!�

�Some of the details might be a bit� embellished, but it was an 
industrial accident,� his supervisor repeated. Then Tetsuki said in a 
whisper, as though his office were full of people instead of empty. 
�Look, the company is in the final stages of being sold and the 
president doesn�t want there to be any waves during the last days of the 
transaction. So it was decided by the select few people that know about 
the incident that it should be classified as something that won�t draw 
attention. After the sale is complete we can clarify the situation with 
our new management. Trust me, they�ll appreciate our ability to keep 
such trifling details to ourselves. Think of it as a resume builder.�

Kiyoshi felt like slapping the man around, but refrained, mostly because 
he himself wasn�t exactly in the best shape in the world (�potatoey� 
being the most accurate descriptor). Besides, Kiyoshi was mostly 
resigned to the fact the situation was going to be swept under the rug. 
He rather liked his job and his seven-figure salary, and going public 
with the fact one�s pharmaceutical company had its own workers falling 
over dead from its experimental research was not conductive to inspiring 
trust in the populace�s eyes. Nor would it be conductive to him finding 
a new job. Lots of people might say they found whistleblowers admirable, 
but not to the point of hiring them.

�Fine. It was an industrial accident,� Kiyoshi said as though reading a 
script.

Tetsuki jiggled in his seat. �Good man, good man. I�ll write an 
excellent recommendation in your next evaluation.�

That wouldn�t hurt. Kiyoshi was ready to let the matter rest, save for 
one niggling detail. �I have a request to make. Since I was Ichiro�s 
closest friend, I�d like to be the one to destroy what killed him: 
Culture 1201.�

Tetsuki shifted uneasily in his chair. �Yes, about that. Well, we�re not 
destroying Culture 1201 just yet.�

�What? Why?�

Tetsuki continued shifting his corpulent mass uneasily. �You see, since 
our new future owner is in the weapon�s industry, they might be inclined 
to� look at it considering its effectiveness.�

�Culture 1201 was supposed to be a cure for cancer, not a bio-weapon!�

�Yes, well, I think we can agree its fairly useless as a cure for cancer 
in its current state, but there�s no reason for Ichiro to not have some 
sort of legacy, his death not being in vain and whatnot. In the 
meantime, we�re going to move up to animal testing with it. Maybe we can 
get it to work the way it�s supposed to, and if not, we�ll have valuable 
data on it for when the new ownership takes over.�

Kiyoshi was speechless. He didn�t bother protesting further: it would 
accomplish nothing and destroy what credibility he had recently built 
with his supervisor. Still, this was not the sort of legacy Ichiro would 
have wanted.

Not at all.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soun Tendou firmed his resolve, something he rarely did when it came to 
his daughters, but there were issues that needed resolved in regards to 
Ranma. Soun was beginning to suspect his girls weren�t as enthusiastic 
as they had appeared at first. In fact, he was coming to the conclusion 
that they might be dragging their feet. If so, it was his duty as their 
father to give them a paternal shove along the pathway of their future. 
They might resent him in the short term, until the wisdom of his 
insistence became evident, but being a parent meant doing tough things 
sometimes.

He waited at the base of the stairs. It was a school morning, and that 
meant either Nabiki or Akane would be coming down, and he could talk to 
them one-on-one.

It was Nabiki who appeared first. The instant her eyes settled on her 
father, they narrowed dangerously. �Want to spar some, Daddy?�

Soun involuntarily shuddered. �No need. I�m sure Ranma�s doing a fine 
job of teaching you. No, what I wanted was to discuss your future with you.�

�You�re leaving me everything with no strings attached?�

Again Soun shuddered. �Ah, no, but if you were to marry Ranma I might 
consider it.� Actually the plan called for whomever married him to 
inherit the house and dojo, though the two who didn�t marry Ranma would 
be given a little something as well.

�That sounds like a major string to me,� Nabiki said.

Soun cleared his throat. It was time to use that wonderful speech he had 
prepared last night. After hours of planning, he was certain he had the 
perfect way for his offspring to see things his way. �Now see here, 
Daughter, Ranma is��

�Perfect for Akane, if you ask me,� Nabiki threw in. �I mean, it�s not 
like my dear little sister is going out with a lot of guys.�

�Er, well, that is true,� Soun admitted, trying to figure out how to 
restart his opening monologue.

�And even though it shouldn�t be, her little leg problem isn�t likely to 
attract a lot of suitors either.�

�Yes, yes, most unfortunate, that. Some people see only the outside of a 
person instead of their inside,� Soun muttered to himself, his thinking 
processes shifting gears to consider the information Nabiki was mentioning.

�And Ranma is not only the same age as Akane, but I think he�s warming 
up to her. The two get along fine. Note how Akane never accuses him of 
being a jerk, like she does a lot of guys.�

The machinery in Soun�s mind clicked into place.

Nabiki prodded her father with her elbow. �You ought to be talking to 
her about what a perfect couple she and Ranma would make.�

Soun envisioned that. Certainly Akane could make Ranma happy, and him 
the same to her.

�Got to go, but you think about what I said.� Nabiki shot down the hall 
at top speed and out of sight.

Soun pondered the situation. Yes, much of what Nabiki said made sense. 
Akane would be the ideal wife for Ranma. That settled the matter in his 
mind. Best to inform Akane of his decision.

He hadn�t long to wait as Akane came down the stairs, using her gnarled 
wooden cane for support.

Soun smiled warmly �Ah, Daughter, how good it is to see you.�

Akane stiffened. �What do you want, Dad?�

Soun was hurt. �Can�t a father just wish his little girl a nice day?�

�Then this isn�t about me marrying Ranma?�

Soun�s jaw shut with an audible clack. After a moment, he said, �Well, 
since you brought it up, I think��

�It would never work, and you�d be right,� Akane said cheerfully. 
�Kasumi, on the other hand, would be a perfect match for him.�

�Well, yes, they would make a fine couple,� Soun admitted, trying to 
figure out how to restart his opening monologue.

Akane nodded sagely. �She already has the whole housewife thing down 
pat. She doesn�t have any plans to further her education. In fact, she�s 
sort of just hanging around the house, helping to take care of us. I 
don�t think it�s fair to her to have to keep house for her family. We�re 
holding her back.�

�I� never thought of it that way,� Soun admitted. Was he keeping his 
eldest daughter from moving on with her life? What a terrible father he 
was if that was the case. Although she could cook like a gourmet chef.

�Besides, she hasn�t exactly been dating any guys lately. Not good for 
her at all. If she�s not careful, she might become an old maid before 
she realizes it.�

Soun nodded in agreement. Everyone knew that if a woman wasn�t married 
by thirty, she probably never would. Oh, some of the new breed of 
salarywoman might disagree and claim there was nothing wrong with 
getting married later on, but it was so� untraditional. And being 
married later meant less grandchildren. No, it would be for the best for 
Kasumi to marry long before that. The sooner the better. The biological 
clock was ticking away.

�Got to go. See you later, Dad.� Akane limped off as quickly as she could.

Soun was left to ponder the situation. Yes, much of what Akane said made 
sense. She would be the ideal wife for Ranma. That settled the matter in 
his mind. Best to inform Kasumi of his decision.

Soun walked to the kitchen where his daughter was putting the finishing 
touches on cleaning up after breakfast. Yes, he was definitely holding 
her back. Best that she was doing this for her husband. Of course, Ranma 
would no doubt continue living here, so Kasumi would still be helping 
out, but now it would be for a good cause.

Soun began. �I have something to discuss with you, Daughter. It concerns 
marrying Ranma.�

Kasumi turned and said, �I know I�m too old for him, Father, I realize 
that, so you have nothing to fear.�

Soun was momentarily taken off track. �Actually, I don�t think the age 
difference is important. After all, your mother was younger than me, and 
it still worked out for us.�

�She was two months younger than you,� Kasumi said.

�Er, well, yes, but two months can be a long time,� Soun insisted.

Kasumi was unperturbed. �Not to worry, Father. I know the perfect 
choice: Nabiki.�

�Well, actually��

Kasumi talked on, as though oblivious to her father�s attempts to 
interrupt. �She and Ranma are both very impressive martial artists, and 
the point of this is to join the two schools.�

�Well, yes, that is true,� Soun admitted.

�It�s a great deal of common ground they share. A cornerstone of a 
marriage is having common interests, is it not?�

�Yes, yes it is,� Soun agreed.

�And a one year difference in age is insignificant, especially between 
sixteen and seventeen. Why it�s no different than if they were the same 
age.�

�True,� Soun agreed, though something was tickling at the back of his 
mind, a feeling of a lack of accomplishment. �Well, in regards to that, 
daughter, I am concerned about you. While you do a magnificent job of 
keeping house, it might make you the most suitable to become a wife��

Kasumi cut him off. �Actually I meant to talk to you about that. I have 
a job now and will be gone from home frequently.�

�What?� Soun said, in shock. �A job? Where?�

�I�m working for Kunou Industries. I�m in their public relations 
department. It has a very nice salary, but I�m on call a lot and have to 
leave at unusual times, like right now.� She put her apron away and 
headed for the doorway to leave the kitchen. �There�s food in the 
refrigerator for you and Mr. Saotome. Have a nice day, Father.� She gave 
him a peck on the cheek and headed out, calling back. �Be sure to talk 
to Nabiki about your decision.� There was the sound of a door slamming shut.

�I think I already did,� Soun said, wondering exactly what had just 
happened, and why it felt like he had lost ground instead of gaining it.

xxxxxxxxxxx

�Hey, Akane! Ranchan� Ukyou shouted, walking daintily up to the pair as 
they headed to school.

�Hey, Ukyou.� Akane felt a pang of envy at just how feminine her friend 
could appear. She practically made Kasumi look like a guy. Bishonen, 
maybe, but a guy.

�Yo, Hawkeye,� Ranma said.

�Don�t call me that!� Ukyou snarled in a decidedly unfeminine way, one 
that made Akane nearly recoil. There was something horribly wrong about 
someone so feminine sounding so masculine.

Ukyou caught herself and giggled girlishly. �Sorry. I�m a bit moody 
today. It�s my �girl time� for me.�

�Oh, I see,� Akane said.

�What the hell�s girl time?� Ranma asked.

Ukyou turned and quivered. �I couldn�t possibly talk about that with a 
boy,� she said, voice full of embarrassment.

Ranma could hardly let things go at that. �Hey, it�s me, your old buddy 
Ranchan. You can talk to me however you like. Heck, you used to do it 
all the time.� He turned to Akane. �Hawkeye�s got the biggest vocabulary 
of cuss words ever. I learned them all from her when we were kids. There 
was this one time we were in the woods and she had to take a dump and 
she wiped her butt with poison ivy. You should have heard her swearing 
when she found out. I still don�t know half the things she said. Why I��

�How dare you embarrass me like that, you jackass!� Ukyou leveled Ranma 
with punch to the jaw, flattening the huge youth.

Akane looked at Ukyou in near fright. �Really bad time for you.�

Ranma rubbed his jaw and stared in shock at his old friend. �That�s a 
heck of a right you have there.�

Ukyou went from standing over him in anger to shock. Then she whined, 
�Owww,� and held her hand. �I think it�s broken. And I definitely 
chipped a nail. You�re so, bad, Ranchan, making me lose my temper like 
that. And after I forgave you for all the things you put me through, 
too.� She pouted girlishly at him.

�That was all Pop�s fault. He explained it to you,� Ranma insisted.

Akane stepped between the two. �Now, now Ranma. You have to cut Ukyou 
some slack. Sometimes a girl feels out of sorts when it�s, you know, 
that time?�

�What time?� Ranma asked.

�Of the month,� Akane snarled.

�Oh, you mean cramps.� He said it in a very cavalier way, one that made 
both girls stare ominously at him. Mandarin-like ominous.

�I gotta go to class and get stuff.� Ranma hurried off. A super hero 
knew when to strategically withdraw from a situation. In his opinion, 
when girls were having a period, they were no different than if they 
were under some super-villain�s mind control. Get one angry at you, and 
it might as well be the Hulk that wanted your hide. And they were only 
slightly less destructive than the green goliath. Worse, it happened 
every month.

Once Ranma was out of sight, Ukyou and Akane released their anger at the 
perceived slight against their gender.

The two continued on toward the school, Akane moving well despite her 
leg. As they did so, Akane continued thinking about what had happened 
concerning the conversation with her father. Matching Kasumi and Ranma 
up would be an ideal solution to everything, but there was an increasing 
risk of Akane somehow ending up with Ranma the longer the fianc�e 
situation continued. Perhaps it would be best if the playing field were 
diluted a little more. While Akane was confident in her ability to avoid 
any marriage to Ranma, her father seemed extremely determined about 
this. The only other time he had been so adamant was about Nabiki 
learning the art.

Akane turned to Ukyou. �I never asked you about this, but are you 
interested in becoming Ranma�s fianc�e again?�

Ukyou seemed taken aback. After the surprise passed, she considered it. 
�No, I don�t think so. I had a lot of resentment against Ranchan for a 
long time, and while I�m glad it turned out he wasn�t responsible for 
abandoning me, I�ve sort of moved past him.� Her eyes took on a distant 
cast. �I�m thinking more along the lines of someone really big and 
hunky, and very heroic. One of those guys that always tries to go out of 
his way and do the right thing for others.�

�Sounds a lot like Ranma,� Akane suggested.

�Oh no, the two are totally different,� Ukyou assured her. �The guy I�m 
thinking of is so heroic, he�d never think of allowing his father to 
abandon a girl, or allow himself to be tricked into doing it. Although 
Ranma is about the same size.�

�Sounds like you already have someone picked out,� Akane said.

Ukyou blushed. �No, no. I�m just saying that�s the ideal guy for me. 
We�d have a lot in common.�

�He�d make okonomiyaki?�

�No, he�d be a super�� Ukyou stopped herself. �Super great guy, the way 
I�m a super great girl. In a feminine way. He�d be masculine. We should 
get to class.� Ukyou made a point of walking fast enough to force Akane 
to use all of her resources into keeping up with her.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The pair had barely arrived at school and sat in their seats when the 
school�s PA came on. A suave, male voice said in a polite, yet 
authoritative tone, �All students and teachers are to report to the main 
auditorium immediately.�

Most of the class, including the teachers, looked at one another 
curiously, but obeyed the order. PAs were the equivalent to the voice of 
god in a school, and vengeance for disobedience was a lot more certain 
from the administration than it was from the almighty.

Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou clustered together as they followed the rest of 
the class toward the auditorium.

�What do you think�s going on?� Ukyou directed the question to either 
one of them

Ranma shrugged. �Got me.� He looked at Akane.

Since Akane was the one who had been at Furinkan longest, she gave her 
opinion. �Usually they only summon everyone to the auditorium for big 
events, but I can�t think of any that would be around this time of year. 
Another month and maybe it would be about the sports festival, but now?� 
She gave the others a blank look.

They let the matter drop. It didn�t take long for the class to arrive at 
the auditorium. It was only half filled when they arrived, though within 
the next fifteen minutes it was filled to capacity. As everyone milled 
about, general talk revealed no one knew why there was a meeting, not 
even the teachers. Speculation ranged from the cafeteria changing from 
skim milk to whole, to the school being torn down and the students being 
sent to a dozen other schools.

The crowd began to grow restless when two people finally emerged from 
backstage. The first was a tall figure dressed in a green skintight 
outfit. Red and yellow butterfly wings sprouted from the back. The 
facemask of the figure had compound eyes, and over the nose was a huge, 
sharp, proboscis.

The second figure was considerably smaller than the first, dressed in an 
orange jumpsuit with red gloves, boots, cowl, and cape. That person wore 
a belt with several mechanical devices dangling from it. Goggles over 
the eyes hid the figure�s identity, and two slender, artificial-looking 
antenna sprouted from the cowl.

The winged one was brash in his gait as he walked to the microphone that 
had been set up on the stage. However, as he went to wield the 
microphone, his proboscis knocked it over. Cursing, he moved the 
faceplate of the costume upward, revealing a very handsome male face, 
bishonen in nature. Several blonde locks poked out from underneath the 
helmet.

The bewildered audience said nothing as he picked up the microphone and 
tapped it several times, producing uncomfortably loud feedback.

The man said, �Testing, one two. Can everyone hear me?�

A bewildered, �Yes,� emanated from the crowd.

�Good. It is my pleasure to inform you that you are now in the hands of 
the Ouran High School Animal Rights and Host Club. I am the president, 
whom you may address as the Butterfly. My associate here-- �

At that point his �associate�s head shook furiously, obviously not 
wanting to be pointed out.

The Butterfly ignored his companion and performed the introduction. �Is 
our newest member, the Humbug. Make him feel at home with a round of 
applause, would you?�

Several people clapped, while Humbug�s shoulder�s slumped in open defeat.

The Butterfly continued. �Now, I must ask forgiveness in being so blunt 
, but I am afraid circumstances require that all of you are our, I 
apologize for the brusque term, hostages. You will have to remain so 
until our demands are met by the Japanese government.�

The students stared at the pair in disbelief, uncertain what to make of 
it. Responses varied from the first vestiges of panic to others dealing 
with it as a joke.

�What demands are you making?� someone asked.

�Excellent! You show an interest in our cause,� the Butterfly said. �We 
are going to hold you all here until the government of Japan passes 
several laws regarding the abolishment of the acts of cruelty to animals 
that pervade this corrupt educational system. First is the elimination 
of vivisection of animals as part of school curriculums.�

A voice said, �Don�t you mean dissection? Vivisections are performed on 
living animals. Dissection is when they�re dead.�

�Same difference. Being killed so one can be cut open is immoral and 
wrong, and for all intents and purposes, is the same thing as 
vivisection,� the Butterfly spat.

The students mulled that over. Voices began to speak up.

�I can�t say I�ve ever liked dissecting anything.�

�It�s gross.�

�I could certainly go without cutting open another frog as long as I live.�

�I couldn�t!� said a student with glazed eyes who looked like he wanted 
to dissect anyone within arms reach.

The Butterfly continued. �Also, no more animal mascots. It is offensive 
and dehumanizing to the noble creatures that are caricaturized in such a 
fashion.�

�Our school�s mascot is a pineapple,� someone pointed out.

�I wouldn�t mind our mascot being �The Flashers�. It can be an all girls 
squad.�

�Shut up, Daisuke.�

The Butterfly cleared his throat. �And no more meat or meat byproducts, 
such as eggs or milk, are to be served at school lunches.�

�All right, no more caramelized fish!�

�Yay! No more mystery meat!�

�No more burned tofu.�

�Tofu isn�t a meat.�

�Crap! Well, I think it should be added to the list anyway.�

�What will be served instead?� someone asked.

�Meat alternatives, such as soybean products, wheat gluten, rice 
burgers, and tofu!�

�Oh god, not more tofu!�

�I�ve had rice burgers and they taste like crap!�

�What, every day?�

Discussions broke out amongst the students. Eventually one voice 
shouted, �We�re okay on the dissections and animal mascot thing, but we 
have to refuse on the cafeteria menu changes. Maybe once a week��

�Alternating Thursdays.�

�Once every other week on that, but nothing else.�

The Butterfly stared murderously at the crowd. �This is not a 
negotiation, this is an ultimatum! Do not doubt our will. We are 
desperate people, caught in desperate times that call for desperate 
measures. Going through legal channels will result in the deaths in many 
innocent animals. That is unacceptable. A moratorium must be put in 
place right now, and this is the only way for it to happen. We of the 
Ouran Animal Rights and Host Club are the ones to do it. If we are not 
obeyed, something� bad will happen to all of you.�

�How can you be a club if there are only two of you?� someone in the 
audience asked.

�Ah, now that is a segue if ever I heard one. Gentlemen, introduce 
yourselves!� The Butterfly said, directing his comment to the ceiling.

In response a quartet of gaudily dressed figures leapt down from the 
rafters. One was dressed in an orange suit with red flame coloring the 
majority of it. Like the Butterfly, compound eyes adorned the front, but 
unlike him, the facemask appeared fixed into place. He landed in front 
of a set of exit doors. �I am the Firefly.� He produced a small amount 
of fire in the palm of his glove.

A second figure was dressed in a green frog outfit. He landed adroitly, 
then bounced on springs on the heels of the webbed boots, leaping 
amongst the crowd without landing on anyone. Eventually his bouncing 
ended up next to another set of doors, which he stationed himself next 
to. �And I am the Fabulous Frog Man.�

�Weren�t you defeated by Daredevil?� someone shouted.

�No, that was an inept bumbler who referred to himself as the Leap Frog.�

�Didn�t he wear a frog costume just like that? And wasn�t his ability 
jumping around on springs in his feet, just like you?�

�Yes, but I am very different from him.�

�In what way?�

He opened the frog mouth of his outfit and pulled the headpiece back, 
revealing his face. �I�m far more handsome than he was.�

The girls within sight of him agreed vocally.

The next ones jumped down as a pair, indistinguishable from one another 
in outfits which were obviously meant to resemble chickens, save for a 
lack of feathers. Their headpieces had red flaps, an obvious imitation 
of a rooster�s comb. The fronts of the cowls were shaped like beaks, 
though their faces could still be clearly seen, showing the people 
wearing the outfits were as identical as their costumes.

Ranma slapped his hand to his face as he saw the pair land. �Oh god.�

�What is it?� Akane asked.

�I can�t believe it. One idiot dressed like a deranged chicken was bad 
enough. But now there are two of them.�

�What do you mean?�

Ranma flinched. �I� ah, saw that guy on the news. Well, one of them. He 
calls himself the Gamecock. Captain Japan kicked his ass with one punch. 
Only how the heck did he get out of prison?�

The one on the left, who was in earshot of Ranma�s comment, revealed 
himself as the Gamecock, �My brother,� he pointed to the figure at his 
side. �the Battling Bantam, broke me out.�

Firefly said, �Actually I burned a hole in the wall to his cell and Frog 
Man bounced out of there with him.�

Butterfly looked around curiously. �Where is our seventh member?�

A high-pitched voice in back shouted, �Coming. Using the restroom takes 
time in this outfit. When we get back Renge has got to design these 
things with a zipper for using the facilities.� From out of the back of 
the stage appeared a youth, much younger than the others. He looked like 
he was about in sixth grade. He was dressed in a full body bear outfit 
with his cherubic face poking out of the mouth of it.

He leapt off the stage and in front of a group of girls. He posed before 
them with open arms and said, �I am the Grizzly, the most ferocious 
member of the Ouran High School Animal Rights and Host Club. Fear me. Grrr.�

The girls looked down on him in wide-eyed wonder. One of them finally 
shouted, �Oh god, he�s so adorable!�

�I�ve never seen anything so cute in my life!

�He looks just like a giant teddy bear!�

�I have to hold him!�

And with that the Grizzly found himself picked up and unceremoniously 
cuddled by numerous girls, who passed him around like a stuffed animal.

The Grizzly struggled in their grips, but found himself hopelessly 
overpowered by their sheer numbers. �No, stop! I�m a fierce champion of 
animal rights, not a plaything!�

The girls persisted. �There�s nothing fierce about you. Now let me hug you.�

Grizzly began bawling at the top of his lungs. �Tamaki, save me!�

The Butterfly responded with, �Good work, Honey, keep them mollified and 
entertained. Just because you�re a defender of animalkind doesn�t mean 
you should be neglecting your duties as a host.�

�But I�m not a giant teddy bear!� Grizzly wailed.

Humbug tugged on one of the Butterfly�s wings. �Tamaki?�

�Yes, my sweet Haruhi?� The smile was saccharine sweet enough to send a 
diabetic into shock.

Humbug looked nervously at the crowd. �First, please don�t use my real 
name. I don�t want anyone to know who I really am.�

�One day our names shall be shouted triumphantly as the first to usher 
in an era of equality for all of god�s creatures, just as the leader has 
proclaimed!� He got to work on that prophecy by shouting it out as 
triumphantly as he could.

Humbug sighed. �And secondly, I want to go home. I shouldn�t be here. 
Not only am I not a super-villain��

�We are not super-villains. We are super-heroes.�

�Super-heroes don�t go around holding schools of students hostage,� 
Humbug pointed out.

�We are heroes who go about helping society through unconventional 
means. The history books will show that,� the Butterfly elucidated.

�And I�m not an actual member of your club.�

The Butterfly�s mood darkened. �I see. And do you have the eight million 
yen to pay for that vase of ours you broke?�

Humbug�s shoulder�s slumped in defeat. �No.�

The darkness disappeared, and the Butterfly�s mood changed to pure 
effervescence. �Then you�ll serve as a member of the club until you work 
off your debt, and that means helping us out in our noble goal.�

Humbug said, �Look, when I agreed to help the club to work off my debt, 
I didn�t mind the whole �host� thing. I actually like making small talk 
with girls. I didn�t even mind the animal rights thing since I�m against 
animal testing. But I did not agree to dress up in a ridiculous animal 
costume and threaten people. What the heck is a humbug anyway?�

The Butterfly tilted Humbug�s chin upward and he flashed a dazzling 
smile. �Only the most beautiful creature in the world, my dear Haruhi.�

Humbug remained unmoved, though the same couldn�t be said for the 
majority of girls within earshot who voiced their approval regarding 
bishonen relationships. Guys within earshot made retching noises.

Toward the center of the milling crowds, the air was less certain. While 
there was a certain air of charm about the villainous group, some people 
were unimpressed by it. Nabiki soon found herself at the center of a 
cluster of people.

One guy said, �Hey, Tendou, we�re paying you a lot of money for 
protection from these kinds of things.�

�Yeah, so protect us,� said another girl.

Nabiki scowled. �Sometimes you protect people best by not doing anything.�

�But this isn�t one of those occasions,� someone insisted.

That opinion was shared by the crowd.

Mentally ticked off at not being able to talk her way out of things, 
Nabiki identified the majority of complainers as people that were indeed 
paying her protection money (and those that weren�t would soon be, since 
their demands could be interpreted as a solicitation). While she could 
deal with the local neighborhood bully in her sleep, messing with 
super-villains was something she could live without. Fighting the weirdo 
mask gang and been enough for her. Next time she drew up a contract for 
protection services, she was putting in a no super-villain clause. In 
the meantime, loathe though she was to admit it, honor demanded she live 
up to her end of the bargains, since refunds were never an option. But 
she would be very careful in choosing her shots, like when winning was a 
sure thing. At least most of these so-called animal rights jokers seemed 
pretty pitiful. Maybe she could take them out.

Slightly toward Nabiki�s left. Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou looked around in 
concern.

Ranma mentally gauged the group. He knew the abilities of the Gamecock 
and thought it was safe to assume his twin was identical: above average 
athlete. The Frog Man wouldn�t be a problem either if this one had the 
same abilities as the guy Daredevil fought. Any loser who was stupid 
enough to copy one of DD�s pathetic rogue�s gallery was probably more of 
a threat to himself than anyone else. The Grizzly might have been worse 
off than the oversized chickens in his choice of costume.

On the other hand, Firefly looked like he could be dangerous since he 
seemed to be able to generate flame, especially since Ranma didn�t have 
his shield to protect anyone from stray fire. Butterfly and Humbug were 
unknowns, though Humbug seemed like he didn�t want to be here. In any 
case Rabna didn�t have the vaguest idea of what their abilities were. 
And if Butterfly was the leader, he might even be the most powerful. 
Unknowns were hard to deal with. He�d have to wait until he had more 
information, he was forced into action, or an opportunity presented itself.

While Ranma assessed the situation, Akane had only one thought on her 
mind: finding some way to get enough privacy to change into Thor. Ten 
seconds would be all she needed to take care of the lot of them. Unlike 
the Enchantress and Executioner�s attack on the school, these goofballs 
didn�t look the least bit dangerous. The Wasp could probably take them 
out in about five seconds.

Well, there was a way she could probably get her privacy, but it would 
mean emphasizing her limp. No one was afraid of a little crippled girl, 
after all. She hated the idea of playing up her handicap, but she had 
little choice if it meant rescuing everyone.

�I�m going to see if they�ll let me use the restroom,� Akane told Ranma 
and Ukyou.

�Yeah, you do that,� Ranma said distractedly, still trying to come up 
with a plan.

Ukyou was lost in thought was well, staring at Firefly. �I might go 
after you.�

Akane was relieved neither of them volunteered to follow. It would have 
made things difficult. Since the first part of the plan worked, she felt 
certain the rest would as well. She headed for the nearest set of doors, 
ones that were guarded by the amphibious member of the group. Akane 
limped much more than she usually did, hoping he would lower his guard. 
�Excuse me, Mr. Leap Frog,� she said meekly.

�That�s �Fabulous Frog Man�,� he politely corrected.

�Right, Mr. Fabulous Frog Man.� She didn�t know if it was more 
frightening that she said it with a straight face or that he could. �I 
really need to go the lavatory.� She squirmed a little.

Frog Man was quite gallant, despite his ridiculous outfit. He said, �Of 
course. We can hardly hold a room full of hundreds of people captive and 
not offer them lavatory breaks. Here you go. Put his on.� He held out a 
collar with an oddly-shaped box from some hidden recess in his costume.

Akane looked at the proffered item. �What�s that?

�Think of it as a hall pass.�

�But what is it?� Akane insisted.

�An explosive collar,� Frog Man explained. �We don�t have the manpower 
to escort each person to the restroom, so we use the honor system by 
attaching these around your neck.�

�How are using explosives part of an honor system?� Akane snapped.

�We find people are far more honorable with an explosive device around 
their neck.�

That was a fairly inarguable point.

�Don�t worry, as long as you don�t leave for more than fifteen minutes, 
or go more than fifty meters from my control unit, you�ll be fine.� Frog 
Man scratched his head. �Or was that fifty minutes and fifteen meters?�

�Nevermind,� Akane said. She couldn�t chance changing into Thor with an 
explosive around her neck. The change might trigger it somehow, and she 
wasn�t the Hulk. She might have a godly form, but it couldn�t function 
if she was headless. She instinctively knew that.

While Akane fretted with Frog Man, Ukyou had come up with a plan of her 
own. There was a gym equipment room that had a door connected to the 
auditorium. She knew the archery club kept several sets of bows and 
arrows there. If she could slip into it and grab one, she could put down 
most of these guys before they knew what hit them. It would probably 
mean blowing her identity, but there was no way she was risking these 
idiots hurting anyone just to protect her secret. It would make her life 
hell if her identity became public, but those were the breaks.

But first, a little information gathering. She walked up to Firefly who 
appeared to be trying to read a book, and failing miserably.

�Damn compound eyes. The next time I use clear lenses, even if it isn�t 
realistic,� he grumbled to himself. He noticed Ukyou approach and closed 
up the book. �Do you need to use the bathroom?� He went for a collar.

Ukyou turned on her girlish charm, making herself sound somewhat 
vacuous. �No, I just wanted to compliment you on your costume. It�s by 
far the best out of all of you people.�

Firefly bowed. �Why thank you. And might I compliment you on your choice 
of make-up and hair ribbon. Many girls would have problems with going 
from merely being cute to overwhelming, but you manage to balance it out 
in tasteful fashion quite nicely.�

�Thank you,� Ukyou said sweetly. She could believe these guys were a 
Host Club. They knew how to turn on the charm without seeming like they 
were hitting on you. �Are you a mutant?�

�No, I�m not. Not that there�s anything wrong with being a mutant,� he 
said neither too quickly nor lacking in any sincerity.

�So your powers are artificial? I�m surprised. I can�t see where your 
fire throwing equipment is.�

�Micro-circuitry woven into the fabric, directed out through the gloves. 
I can explain it in detail if you�d like.�

�Ah, no thank you,� Ukyou said. She then made a show of looking over her 
shoulder and feigning concern. �Oh dear, I think one of my friends is 
about to panic. I�ll go calm her down. Once I do, we can talk some more.�

�I understand. You go comfort your friend in her time of need,� Firefly 
told her.

Ukyo smiled sweetly and walked toward an acquaintance of hers near the 
door to the storage room to strike up a conversation as a cover. She�d 
have to get started fast before something happened to trigger a fight.

Having to move surreptitiously, Ukyou had only made it halfway to the 
gym room when all hell broke loose in the form of a plaintive cry.

�Why can�t I find any panties?!�

All eyes turned to the diminutive form in the center of the auditorium, 
as though appearing by magic.

�Oh crap, it�s him!� Ranma groaned.

Happosai scowled at everyone in the auditorium. �Here I was, on a 
mission of liberation of my precious little darlings from the girl�s 
locker room, when I discovered there were no little darlings to rescue 
since no one was having gym. It�s an outrage. How can I grab some 
delightful undies if girls are wearing them?�

The members of the Ouran Animal Rights and Host Club stared at him in 
shock. Being the leader, the Butterfly took control of the situation. 
�Excuse me, but we�re busy conducting a ransom. Could you please move 
along, you little, whatever you are?�

�Panty thief,� Nabiki said acidly.

�That�s no way to talk to your elder!� Happosai shouted, then gained a 
lascivious leer. �But I know I way you can make it up to me, Nabiki, my 
sweet.� He leapt for her.

Nabiki tried to punch him, but Happosai darted out of midair, hit the 
ground, jumped back up and attached himself to her breasts. He instantly 
began snuggling them, much to Nabiki�s outrage.

Nabiki wasn�t the only one, either. The Butterfly shouted, �See here, 
you repugnant troll, no one should be grasped in such a manner, at least 
not without encouragement, and she is not encouraging you. Unhand her at 
once, or else taste the full fury of the Ouran High School Animal Rights 
and Host Club!� He posed dramatically.

�He�s not listening,� Humbug said quietly, observing Happosai�s efforts 
to burrow himself into Nabiki�s cleavage.

�Hands off the merchandise!� Nabiki shouted, finally getting enough 
leverage to swat the little pervert off her bosom. The blow sent him 
flying in the direction of Frog Man.

Happosai rebounded to his feet. He sniffled. �You�re a terrible person, 
hitting an old man like that. Since I�m your master, you should show be 
some respect.�

�I�ll do it at your grave, after I put you in it!� She ran at him full 
force.

Happosai leapt away from Nabiki�s attack, springboarding into the top of 
Frog Man�s head. �Can�t get me,� the old man taunted.

�You�re dead!� Nabiki unleashed a full force punch. Happosai jumped out 
of the way, but the blow landed dead center of Frog Man�s face, 
flattening him.

�I�ll get you, you old fart!� Nabiki�s kick landed in the Frog Man�s 
gut, making him bellow even through his padding.

Happosai leapt away, but Nabiki landed a second kick into the Frog Man�s 
back, shattering the equipment that powered his springs. �Come back 
here, you little shit!�

It took a second for Nabiki�s action to register amongst the members of 
the Ouran Club. The Butterfly shouted, �Hey, she�s not attacking that 
little freak. She�s taking out Mori. Get her!�

Gamecock started moving through the crowd. �One side.�

�Out of the way,� Battling Bantam said, moving alongside his twin.

The two had almost made it to Nabiki when Gamecock felt someone grab him 
by the back of the cowl and spin him around. �What?�

That was all the offense he got as Ranma punched him square in the chin, 
knocking him out. �Still got a glass jaw, I see.�

�You bastard. You KO�d my brother!� The Battling Bantam began living up 
to his namesake, flashing off impressive boxing skills as he began 
throwing punches at Ranma.

The larger youth evaded or deflected all of the blows, eventually 
landing a punch of his own that connected with the Bantam�s face, 
knocking him out as well.

�Looks like glass jaws can be hereditary.� Ranma smirked.

A large pillar of flame burst up, nearly reaching the ceiling. An angry 
Firefly shouted, �You�re going to get it now for attacking the others 
and standing in the way of our cause.� He raised his hand, pointing one 
at Nabiki and the other at Ranma.

Nabiki was quick to pick up Frog Man and hold him in front of her as a 
shield, but Ranma froze. Dodging just meant the flame burst would hit 
someone else in the crowd, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn�t 
bring himself to use either of the morons he knocked out as shields. It 
was wrong. The smell of burning chicken would haunt him for the rest of 
his life. There had to be some other way.

An aura of flame surrounded both of Firefly�s hands. Just as they became 
white hot, two wooden shafts seemed to emerge from the villain�s wrists. 
The flames died off as Firefly cried out, �My hands! My hands!�

All eyes turned to see the archer.

Jessie Gurtland lowered her bow.

Ukyou didn�t know whether to feel relief at her identity being intact or 
jealousy over her unspoken rival showing her up.

Toward the front of the crowd, the Grizzly shouted, �I�ve got to help my 
friends!�

He tried to lurch forward, but was held back by a horde of teenage girls 
shouting at him to not do it and stay out of harm�s way. Unfortunately 
for the Grizzly, the exo-skeleton he wore only enhanced existing 
strength, and since he had so little to begin with, he was easily 
overpowered by the determination of Furinkan�s female populace. All he 
could do was cry at the indignity of it all.

The Butterfly looked on in horror at how his fellow club members had 
been decimated. There appeared to be little choice. He had wired 
explosives through the auditorium in case his demands were not met. It 
was time to fly off with Haruhi and live up to his end of the threat. He 
didn�t like blowing up people, especially his friends, but no one would 
take the cause seriously if they didn�t follow up on their promises, 
just like the leader said.

The Butterfly turned to Humbug. �Hop on and we�ll get out of here.�

�Hop on? Sounds like a great idea.�

Unfortunately for the Butterfly, the comment had not come from Humbug, 
but rather from the Happosai, who had perceived it as an invitation to 
attach himself to Humbug�s backside.

Happosai rubbed his face against it. �Not bad, toots. While you don�t 
have much in the way of tits, you sure do have a great bottom.�

�Unhand my Haruhi!� The Butterfly raged.

�For a change, I�m inclined to agree with Tamaki, except for the �my� 
part� Humbug said in a pained voice.

�But she feels so good,� Happosai cooed.

The Butterfly lowered his faceplate and its sharpened proboscis. �You 
idiot! He�s a guy, not a girl.�

�Oh no, I�m a girl,� Humbug said calmly.

The Butterfly froze up. �What? But it can�t be.�

�I know my girls. I could smell her femininity from a mile away,� 
Happosai assured him.

�But you dress like a man.�

�Actually I dress androgynously. I don�t really care what I wear.�

�But I�ve referred to you as a man since the first day we met,� the 
Butterfly said.

�I felt it would be rude to correct you.� Humbug shrugged.

The Butterfly began shaking in fury. �You� little� tease! You�re just 
like every woman out there. Trying to take advantage of men.�

�Like this?� A female voice said behind him.

The Butterfly turned around just in time to receive a kick to the groin. 
He wore a cup, which was dented quite deeply. Kicks that could shatter 
bricks did things like that.

�Yes, exactly like that� the Butterfly squeaked, as Nabiki grabbed him 
by the proboscis and drove his head into the floor with it.

Weakly, the Butterfly said, �Haruhi, I need help.�

�You sure do.� She pulled one of the metal cylinders from her belt, 
aimed at the Butterfly, and pulled the trigger. The sound of insects, 
amplified a thousandfold and funneled into a tight sonic beam, knocked 
Tamaki unconscious.

Haruhi then turned the weapon on Happosai and fired, knocking him 
senseless as well.

By that time Ranma had made it up to the stage. He would have done it 
sooner, but it appeared Nabiki had matters well in hand, and there was 
no sense in risking his secret identity any more than he needed to.

�I take it you�re not really with them?� Ranma asked Humbug.

�I was being blackmailed into it,� Humbug confirmed. �I tried getting 
them to stop, but they were�.�

�Moronic?� Ranma asked.

�I was thinking more along the lines of �determined�. In hindsight, 
moronic might be more appropriate.� She shook her head sadly. �I�ll be 
happy to tell the authorities everything I know about the situation, as 
well as who was giving them orders.�

�Oh?� Ranma asked, ignoring the sounds of Nabiki continuing to beat on 
the Butterfly, complaining about having to make her work for her 
protection services.

�It was some guy with an animal rights group called the ALF. He�s put 
out a call for all groups with similar ideology to take a more militant 
stance for animal rights, especially people with super powers.�

�Or idiots with them,� Ranma added as Nabiki ripped off the Butterfly�s 
proboscis and held it up as a war trophy.

Humbug continued. �Somehow he found out about the outfits Tamaki had, 
and contacted him personally. Tamaki invited me along for the meeting. 
It was some guy called the Man Beast, if you can believe that. He even 
dresses himself up to look like a wolf man. Pretty convincing costume 
though. If I didn�t know better, I�d swear he was a real animal.�

�I see,� Ranma said. Current buffoons aside, that sounded like a 
potential problem. This was a matter he was going to have to look into 
as an Avenger.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

[End Chapter]



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