Title: At Freedom's Expense
Series: Guilty Gear
Rating: 13+
Canon notes:  Take place some time after the events in GGXX.

Chapter 3: Past the Point of Reality



Looking over the screen of information, Bruce Aymond looked up to make
sure no one disturbed him in his office. His office was a small and

Hmm, maybe he should look to see if no one could disturb him first, and then shift over to the screen of information.  

cramped affair, but he couldn't complain since there was no one to look
at what he was doing directly... unless one of the directors secretly
entered without making a sound. However, he was grateful that he was

Aymond: "Damn, those sneaky director bastards.  I hate it when they creep up behind me and suddenly scream...."

facing the door instead of his back.

How can a person face his back?  Unless he's facing one of the director's back?

There was very little privacy for those that dared choose this line of
work. After all, the Post War Management Bureau never left room for
chance. There were agreements of complete and unquestioned disclosure
about those who wanted to join and since most didn't have anything to
lose when they joined up, they agreed. However, what they never
considered was the consequence of leaving. He had heard stories of those
fed up with all the secrecy and lack of privacy threatening to go to the
International Police or even the heads of State. And they always ended
up gone. No trace. No trail. Nothing.

Aymond:  "I'm scared now.  Hold me."

Bruce couldn't help but frown as to how efficiently the Executors
Committee kept its employees in line and kept the organization's
existence secret. Machiavelli would have been proud.

a secret?

Typing in a few more keys on his keyboard, he was ready to move to

Maybe "Hitting a few more..."

another program when he paused, still as a statue. There were footsteps

Maybe '...when a sudden noise caused him to stop and become still as a statue...

outside his office walking casually near. It was probably either one of
his co-workers or one of the management. He quickly deleted all the keys

keystrokes

he'd been typing up to then and returned to the present job at hand. The
footsteps continued past his door and down the hall.

He would have openly sighed, but there were more important things to
take care of.

With a flurry to keystrokes, he then activated a program he had been

flurry of keystrokes..

provided with by his 'previous employer'. With a push of the 'enter'
key, the 'Opacus' program was initiated and all intrusion by electronic
means would see him continue doing his work. Now, he had to work fast,
since it worked as though it were a wind-up toy. The program would
eventually fade back into dormancy, returning their surveillance of him

Maybe '..returning to their open surveillance of him...'

in the open.

Thankfully, his resume had long since been lost and with no records to
show where he come from, all the extensive searches the Management did,

came from (and erase the comma after did)

provided the results they wanted. An expendable drone that none would

wanted; an expendable

miss should something unfortunate happen.

be a transmit from the listening device planted in his house. In fact,

transmitted

it was past due when the transmitter would make its report. Just barely.

Where does the 'Just barely' fit in?

That could only mean one thing. Either the transmitter was nonfunctional
or he had found it.

With a small sigh of relief, he found no one had accessed the file that

that no one....  the file that contained...

held the last known transmission. Turning the volume down low on his
unit, he played the sound file with his ear pressed to the small speaker
on the desk. His eyes soon widened at the realization of whom he was

No earphones? Or even a headset?

It was beyond imperative that Dizzy be kept safe. It wasn't just for him
or his 'previous employers'. But perhaps mankind's chance for freedom
from the Bureau.

She was the hope of the world, after all.

The guiding light of humanity...no wait, that's Superman. Heh

She and Ky had talked for the past few days about what she could do when
she came in to ask for a position. He had informed her that this branch

A job, you mean?

of the International Police needed more recorders.

It was a given considering much of the International Police's respect
had waned severely with the dissolution of the Holy Order and the
reinstitution of the United Nations Security Council.

reinstation or reestablishment

Because of which, extra personnel was always welcomed into any branch.
Dizzy would be no expection to this, provided she kept her Gear side

exception

"Well, I wanted to stay and help my parents and friends because they did
a lot for me. In plus, I was a little young ten years ago."

Either 'In addition' or just 'Plus'. 

To her relief, the examiner smiled softly. "I'm not surprised. Justice
really did a number on us and we all needed more time than what we got

than what we had..

to rebuild. But hey, we're not without trying."

When she was with the pirates, it was an open life with no one looking
over your shoulder. This was one to be lived in fear and eternal,
unwavering vigilance.

Maybe fear's too strong a word...caution perhaps?

After the interview, she was taken to the archives, to officialize her

Suggest 'to make her job official'.
 

"You don't know him that well," the woman said before adding
mischievously, "unless there's something you're not telling us about you
and him."

Ky:  "Well, occasionally we do share a bed and I like to wear lingerie on those 'special' occasions.  Please, don't envy me!"
 

He was about to ask what Hildegard meant when she hung up before he
could form the words. It seemed that everyone knew what was going on
except him... and that jarred him greatly. Why the idea of not tracing

Suggest 'disturbed him greatly.'

He sighed and went back to his work.  It was more than jarring to know

I'm getting the impression that you like the word 'jarring', don'cha?

that he was practically living two lives now. One was supposed to be the
Ky Kiske everyone knew. The hero of the Crusades. The Slayer of Justice
in some circles.  And the other was now hiding a Gear from the publc.

The aforementioned was closing up his workspace and gathering his

..aforemention person...
 

Miguel cocked an eyebrow and a humored grin at him, "Well, that's a

Replace comma with a period.

first. You've always been here after hours. Is Mr. All-Work-And-No-Play
finally letting himself loose? Is there a girl involved? And I'm not
talking about that China girl you broke up with."

Placing his jacket on the rack, he walked into the living room to see
Dizzy, sitting on the floor, against the wall with her face in her
hands. At first, he didn't care, she was a Gear, deal with it, and now
that he was home, he didn't have to put up with it. But a mournful look
up as she saw him enter, and a few minutes later, after going to the
kitchen and doing a few normal after-work activities, his conscious
winning out and going to her side, being the saint he was.

Try rewriting the last sentence and splitting it into two.

The pieces slowly fit together in Ky's mind. Though he felt he was

..slowly began to fit...

intruding, he had to ask.

"What happened?"

Dizzy sighed, not wishing to relive the memory, but knew he deserved to
hear the story.

-

Dizzy was only one year old, but already she had the appearance of a

Suggest 'was only a year old,'

child of six. Her dark blue hair was already growing like a weed and no
matter how often her mother cut it, it would only grow back just as
fast. She often giggled innocently at her mothers light frustration and

mother's mild frustration

"By that time, nothing had happened, but I had a feeling it wouldn't

At that time...

last. Another year later..."

-

Dizzy looked in wonder at the several boys and girls playing a simple
game where one was 'it' and everyone did everything in their power to

Suggest 'one of them was 'It'
 

The boy froze in terror, not knowing what he had done wrong. His
confusion escalated when his mother grabbed his arm, "What are you doing?!"

Comma with a period and also, the poor kid.

"And you were letting that... that... THING touch you?" the mother said

..his mom said..

with an angry glare in Dizzy's direction.

Despite the other childrens' confusion on the matter and their
insistence they she stay, Dizzy declined and ran home. She ran, hoping

insistence that she

they wouldn't see the tears gushing out of her eyes.

There was a mob of people outside. A few torches lit the darkness and a
few carried pitchforks and what not. But that's not what scared her. She
could see the faces of some of them in the crowd. There was anger, rage,
and hatred that seemed to have a specific target in mind.

The dark side is strong within them...  

"Luveria, keep down," her father whispered quickly, taking the Earth
Seal from his study and stepping to the front door, his weapon hoisted
on his shoulder. She had asked about the large hammer/halberd her father

Suggest '...taking Earth Seal from his study and hoisteing it on his right shoulder, he stepped to the front door.'

once wielded in the service of the Holy Order. Though he himself did not
know much about its origin, he did know that it was a weapon of great
power, meant for those that would defend humanity from the dreaded Justice.

A question.  Who named this 'Justice'?  Did it name itself that or did the people do it?  Because 'justice' is completely wrong for something so evil.  Maybe Injustice? 

Her mother, a brave woman that had seen many things worse than this,
frowned, "They're scared."

Comma with period.

"Scared? Of what?"

Her mother, Velija, looked to her sadly, "They're scared of you, dear.

..looked at her... and comma with period

They don't know why, but this is the only way they can deal with it and
it makes them fools for it."

The first man, along with a few others, scoffed, "Who's gonna stop us,
Moroumetz? You?"

The answer was quick and violent. Swinging the hammer head of the Earth
Seal into the ground, a very noticeable tremor shook the ground and the mob.

Good answer! 

When the group had finally got it's footing again, they were about to

gotten its

charge Iliya when they realized something different about him.

Dizzy gasped in shock when she saw how drastically her father had
changed. His heavy breathing was noticeable in the still chilly air,
puffing out in noticeable steam clouds. And he was hunched over,
growling like an animal. Now she understood why he never wanted to speak
of his time in the Holy Order.

"If any of you..." Iliya snarled, "...bring harm to my daughter, I will
make you wish your mothers negated your births! And I'm sure this works

Suggest 'aborted your births!'

just as well on humans as it does on Gears!"

"Do you really think this is necessary?" her father asked from the
shadows. Though he hard a hard time facing her after the previous

had a hard time..

night's events, he would not shirk his responsibilities as a parent.

She nodded. "Yes. I have to.  Otherwise they may do something to you and
mom just to get at me."

Mom

Her father frowned, "I was never fond of abuse. We can find a way to
get around this."

She sighed quietly, "I know... but if I'm not here, then that means
they'll leave you alone. I don't want you or mom getting hurt because of

Mom

me. I have to go."

Iliya remained still as he continued, "What makes you so certain things
will improve when you go?"

She looked to her father sadly, "I don't know... but what I do know is

comma with period :D

that things won't get any better the longer I stay."

In resignation, her father opened his arms like he did when she looked
like a six year old. With tears in her eyes, she embraced her father
desperately and said between sobs, "I'll come back, dad! I promise!"

Dad

She would do her best.

Way to go girl.

End of Chapter 3

Oh yes, fanfic points for those that can guess Hildegard's identity.

Sorry, no clue here.  

I enjoyed Dizzy's background story.  Next chapter, please!




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