[FFML] Re: [Fanfic][Ranma 1/2][Super Mario Bros.][Oneshot]Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Copy-Pasted Disclaimer: I reserve the right to be totally wrong, to misquote
facts and to make errors in judgment. I also C&C as I read, so what I said at
one point can easily be retracted on the next, depending on how the...
spamfic... progresses... Boy, do I feel silly putting this disclaimer up here.

It also occurs to me that my lexicon may not be at par with yours, so any
unfamiliar word I ask about isn't necessarily a correction but just general
ignorance on my part (as pointed out by a certain Thomas Michael Edwards). As
such, it'd be appreciated if you'd have the patience to clear up some of my
questions on those particular instances (though I still seriously doubt that
'hatted' is a word).

And my next victim is... ^_^

On 6/20/06, Zï¿½riHB <zuerihb@gmail.com> wrote:

Series: Ranma 1/2, Super Mario Bros.


Hmmm. Now I've _definitely_ seen everything.

Title: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Chapter: 1
Author: Zï¿½riHB / KawaiiImoto-e
Web site: http://zuerihb.googlepages.com
Genre: One shots
Status: complete


Synopsis: After falling down a pipe, it just get's worse.


get's --> gets



                                   [{(<*>)}]

                                   <+> Zï¿½riHB
                                    presents


                         a Ranma 1/2 Crossover Fanficton


                     Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
                             Vom Regen in die Traufe.


(eating popcorn) Wow. Lots of stuff in the opening credits for what is
essentially a spamfic.

Finally, the last room of the eighth castle was in sight. In this castle, the
princess had to be. It would have been very disappointing if the princess
were in another castle, again.


I know it's mostly an exercise in futility (or stupidity on my part, if you
were somehow employing this grammar mistake as a joke), but I don't think you
need the comma after 'were in another castle'.

He already could feel the hot breath of the evil king.


With King Koopa's fireballs which look like comets moving backwards.

One final check of the super powers, and the fight could begin. The big

turtle

was ahead. Two meters of walking doom, balancing on a little bridge over the
lava.


Don't forget the fire-chains that reused Mario's revolving fireball sprite! I
certainly didn't.

"I just have to reach the golden axe",


golden axe,"

thought our hero. "As I did the

last time and the time before that


Nintendo: Hey, _you_ try and make do with 8-bit technology!

and the time before that.".


(sighs) What is with this new trend in punctuation? 

before that." (get rid of the period after the double quotation mark)

The fire from the evil mutated turtle ceased and it started to throw hammers.


That is, hammers started appearing out of nowhere from on top of his head and
fell into a predictable arc. Hmmm. Hammers appearing out of nowhere...

If, in this spamfic, King Koopa is actually Akane, then we've just reached a
new low in fandom.

But then, a loud explosion was heard, and young man fell in. The red hatted

hero

Er, 'hatted' is not a word.

But since this is a spamfic, suggest: red-hatted (compound descriptors should
be hyphenated, even in spamfics)

The Japanese boy was shocked at first, but got his bearings together and
checked his surroundings while he got in a ready stance.


It's an illegal rom hack! The sprite that this game is using for Ranma, the
programmers got from Kung Fu Master!

As he landed on the golden axe, the bridge began to retract. He just had
enough time to hold on the axe and the unconscious mustached man.


...Either that, or one of those funny-only-once Flash Animations at Newgrounds.

The green daemon fell in the lava,


Suggest: lava;

it tried to swim, but eventually burned in

the hot lava. It's skeleton resurfaced briefly.


It's --> Its

Hmmm. The fic must be talking about the Super Mario All-Stars one for the SNES.
As far as I can remember, 'Bowser fall down to nothingness and river of lava
only painted-on decoration for bottomless pit'.

In the cavern sat a young lady, nicely dressed, best suited for a princess or

wedding, but not for a prisoner in a cave guarded by giant mutated turtles.


Ranma: (sees the half-assed and ugly Princess sprite in the original game)
Whoa. And here I thought _Akane_ was uncute.

Her rescuer dropped her would be rescuer to the floor and approached her.


Suggest: would-be

"What happened to Mario? And who are you?" asked the princess, after she has
seen both.


Princess after she had seen both. (no need for the comma, cap 'princess' since
you do so a couple of paragraphs later, and you have little bit of tense
confusion there)

"I'm Ranma Saotome, Sorry about this."


Suggest: Saotome; sorry about this."

Or: Saotome. Sorry about this."

The Princess approached Ranma slowly: "Thank you Ranma! Your quest is over. I
present you with a new quest." and then kisses him. "Push Button B to select

world."


quest," and then kisses him.

you rude boy!".


you rude boy!" (no need for the period after the quotation mark)

Ranma stood up and in a ready stance: "That's gratitude for you. I saved you,
remember, and who are you anyway?"


Suggest: remember? And who are you anyway?"

"I'm Super Mario! Rescuer of the Mushroom Kingdom and the Princess is MINE!"
cried the red mustache.


That's a helluva mustache if it can cry out.

In this moment, the princess


Princess

interrupts the fighters by bashing Mario with a

frying pan: "Be nice Mario."


"Be nice, Mario."

She turned to Ranma and took his arm in hers:


"Let's go home, honey."

Ranma was confused and dragged away by the princess.


princess. --> Princess.

Ahahahaha.

Authors Notes: a Spamfic, based on an idea by Burger Becky.


Yeah. Spamfic. That it is, my friend. That it is.

What if Ranma simply fell from the sky, land on Mario's head,


Suggest: lands on Mario's head

bounce off and

grab the last star.


bounces off and

To the best of my recollection, there are no stars inside any of the Bowser
castles. Unless you're cheating or writing a spamfic, that is.

That will drop Bowser into hot lava and release the

Princess. She has to marry her rescuer.


Mario: News-a to me-a! I would never-a marry-a the princess-a!

That's 'coz your voice actor likes pink flamingos and men.

Mario: (whistlies)

Of course Ranma wants nothing to do with this and Mario now wants him dead.

:P

Ahahahaha.

Big Special Thanks to: Burger Becky, for Idea, Prereading and stuff.


Thank you, for Idea! Thank you, Prereading and stuff!

To be concluded: If someone want's


wants

to write more based on this fic, feel free to

do so. I certainly don't mind.


...Schyeah, well I do mind.

What else can I say? It's a cruddy and 'humorous' spamfic. Oh yeah, here's a
li'l tip courtesy of moi:

Wrong: "Hello!", greeted Ranma. "Got anything to eat?", he asked. "I'm
starving.", he added.
 
Right: "Hello!" greeted Ranma. "Got anything to eat?" he asked. "I'm starving,"
he added.

In any case, keep on writing. Contribute to list traffic. Don't let haters like
me get you down. Write, make mistakes, learn, write some more, improve. If you
can't learn the easy way, then the hard way's for you.


Hanggang sa muli,
Abdiel

--------------------
I wasn't overwhelmed, I wasn't underwhelmed; so let's just call it a day and
say I was whelmed.


Send instant messages to your online friends http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com 

             .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
             | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
             | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
             |     Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject     |
             `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'