finally  catching up on this one;

GL Sandborn wrote:

		Chapter 3 - Just Hanging Around
 

% with Tina involved that creates so many hentai images.

    "So, you guys want to stop for a drink?" Tina Foster asked
as she glanced between the two giant men in suits 

% giant men in suits just sounds awkward somehow. I think you can work 
in the giant or suits comment somewhere else.

  The man never responded.  He didn't have to.  Before she
could ask again, a hand slapped a smelly rag over her face.  A
second hand held her head in place.  With a whimper, she
struggled to escape.  Elbowing her attacker as hard as she could
proved ineffective.  It had no more effect 

you just mentioned it was ineffective, so there's no reason to talk 
about it having 'no more effect.'

than striking a tree
trunk.
    Her struggles became weaker as the sharp metallic odor of
chemicals flooded her senses. 

But at least the chemicals smelled vaguely like Jack Daniels, so she 
could rest peacefully.

danced across her breasts, tantalizing her tender buds which
quickly swelled to their fullest.  He paused to kiss her,
whispering his love for each part of her body.  As one hand slid
down her taut stomach to the swell of her hips, she could feel
herself giving in to the need of consummating their marriage.
His gentile 

gentle, unless there's something about his religon we're unaware of.

massage of her most secret spot sent currents of
desire through her body.  She snuggled against him as their legs
intertwined, his desire hard against her naked thigh.  She wanted
him.  She NEEDED him.  She--
    "Herroooo?"
 

What? How the hell did Heero get into this fic? :)

    "Ah, you get light to point.  Good."  He flipped a few pages
I 

% in

    "This one did," Tina insisted.  "WAITAMINUTE!  He's NOT my
partner!  I only met him once.  At the zoo.  He was hurt.  I took
him home because he said he didn't have anywhere else to go.  I
thought it was a little strange.  I mean, a single guy in Japan
and no place to stay.  And how many good looking

% good-looking

    "I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM!"  She shook her head.  "I mean,
yes, he somehow got in my bed but I

% it

wasn't because I invited him.
 

% Tina: I like playing 'rape' fantasies, so I tried to 'kick him out' in 
a seductive way, and then he 'forced' himself on me. But I did not 
invite him in.

I don't know how he got there."
    The little man tisk-tisked.  "You know, that is how you get
nasty disease. 

% Man: I have a number of them from such encounters.

    With a sigh, the little man turned away and raised his hands
high.  "Daddy always say boys no tlouble compared to girls.  Boy
never buy milk when girl give away free. 

% Not if you like that brand of milk and don't want other people 
drinking it, then you become the sole purchaser of said milk. ^_^

    "Why are you doing this?  I told you before, I don't know
ANYTHING!"  Tina wiggled like a fish on a stringer, trying to get
her hands free.  That just made her swing a little more, the
movement added vertigo to her pounding head.
    "So you say now," the little man said.  "Soon you say what I
want to hear."
 

% Yes, which is part of the problem with torture. People tend to tell 
you what you want to hear, not the truth.

     "This is the police.  You are surrounded.  Put down your
weapons and come out with your hands up."
 

% Betcha it's her 'secret agent partner'. :)

    "Help me!" she called before a coughing fit overwhelmed her.
    The figure stopped.  "Tina?"
    She knew that voice.  "STEVEN?"
 

% knew it

    Tina squealed as the rope slipped again, this time causing
her blond hair to touch the water.  One enterprising piranha
began nibbling on the exposed hair.  "Stay away from my split
ends! 

% Heh

    "That's the first nice thing you've said to me."  Lowering
her eyes, she went back to rubbing her wrists.  It was hard for
her to not blush in response.  She had to admit, her first
impression about him was correct; he was good looking

% good-looking

    "Not a bomb in the sense you're thinking.  It's something
radically new.  All I know is what he told me; something about it
makes your hair fall out," he admitted.
 

% Hmm. Sounds grim. Little is more demoralizing that destrying the 
enemy's morale through vanity

    "WHAT?" she gasped, dropping back on the pile of burlap
bags.  "I can't do that!"  She stared at the tiny ring like it
was a horrible little creature.
 

% Ha! I have yet to meet a woman who looked at a ring like that.

% Amusing. I'll have to read the next chapter in a month or so. ^_^
 

DB Sommer

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