Standard C&C Disclaimer: All the below is my only occasionally useful
humble opinion, my only occasionally correct grammatical and spelling
corrections, and/or my only occasionally funny humor.
eimii wrote:
Non-Yaoi Warning: Only one male in this chapter again, so i'm pretty sure
there's no Yaoi here...
With Kagebunshin no Jutsu around, that doesn't necessarily follow...
It took a lot less time to revise this chapter than i was anticipating; i
actually thought it was a lot longer than this ^_^;. I'm considering
combining it with the previous chapter now, since they happen one right
after the other without any significant time gap.
On the one hand, that's true. On the other "*...Dammit, don't make me
feel sorry for you, monster woman...*" is such a great line to end a
chapter on.
Either way should work, though.
"Weeeell..." Now was the time for delicacy, Sakura decided. As a torture and
interrogation specialist, the examiner probably had a 'different' take on
this sort of invasion of privacy, and Sakura had no idea how she might
react.
Moving deliberately, Sakura leaned against the near wall and tucked her
hands behind her. "...Um, well, in this recent dream, I- you ended up
meeting Iruka-sensei, and having dinner with him." She watched Anko's face
for any sort of reaction, but was denied.
Missing newline here, at least for me.
Caught completely by surprise, Sakura could do nothing but freeze in shock
as a terrific, bestial growling sound filled the room. Dropping her gaze in
slow increments, trying not to make any sudden moves, Sakura's wide emerald
eyes finally fell upon Anko's stomach, and the stunned girl had an epiphany.
"... Would you like something to eat?" she suggested, hopefully.
Hee.
"Tell you what?!" Sakura growled defensively, suddenly off balance as she
flinched away at the emotion in her rival's voice
"About _you_! And _her_!" Ino shifted her glare to Anko for a moment, then
returned to Sakura, her expression twisting in disbelief. "Sakura, I thought
we were _friends_!"
"Wha- we are! I don't understand- Ino, what are you talking about?!"
Ah, poor, poor Sakura-chan.
"Pft- this is nothin'. A little misunderstanding like this is easy fix to
later, so why worry about it?"
Famous last words.
Well, actually, it probably would be easy to fix if Anko wasn't more
interested in fanning the flames...
She still had to bite back the first words that leapt into her mouth when
she saw the smug look the jounin was wearing, but with an effort she managed
to still her tongue. "...Could you _please_ not egg me on anymore," she
pleaded, fighting to keep her voice calm and even. "This is serious. I never
had 'impulse control issues' before, and it's starting to scare me..."
Well, not _most_ of the time. Just when Naruto was around.
"You called me 'Anko' a few seconds ago. Not Mitarashi-san, or Anko-sama, or
anything- just 'Anko.'"
"...why on earth would I call you Anko-sama?"
"Because you love me dearly, and we have incredible lesbian sex every
night."
Hee.
"...why are you doing this to me?"
"Because it's fun!"
Anko's way of the ninja: if it's fun, do it!
Huh. Really wound up not having anything to say this time. It's tough
to come up with suggestions for improving something this good. :)