Note that I haven't actually seen much of Conan and what I did see was
approximately... four years ago now?  Something like that, so when it
comes to the series, you can take my thoughts with a grain of salt.  The
names in particular were fairly hard for me to follow, since many of
them were dropped without any associated description of the person
involved.  Part of the reason we write fanfiction is to draw upon that
shared knowledge that other fans have, but it would stand on its own
moreso with some indications of who is who.

You just negated your own assertion.

Takagi nodded, brow furrowed in displeasure. "I suppose I do,

Conan-kun."

*Though calling me on it like this is very bad form,* his eyes said.

I would probably go with single quotes rather than asterisks to offset
the "statement" from his eyes, its a bit more standard.

Uh...no. It's only "standard" in the sense that it's an *FF.NET* standard,
due to FF.net's unrelenting war on the common asterisk. I reject all FF.net
"standards" with a passion and vengeance, and writers have been using
asterisks as thought markers for decades.

A few moments later, a car carrying two detectives drove down the dark

city

streets as thunder rumbled overhead.

A typhoon was coming, and there was much work to do to prepare.

Hmm... looking back at it, this statement doesn't really seem to mesh
with the actions Conan is about to take.  He doesn't really know about
the metaphorical typhoon (presumably Ran's pregnancy), so he can't
really prepare for it.  Might be better to insert it later or drop it
altogether.

Or perhaps he's preparing for something entirely different? Narrative irony,
folks.

They entered Takagi's apartment, kicking off their shoes and shucking

their

wet raingear at the genkan, and Takagi excused himself for a moment to
procure several thick, fluffy towels, two of which he spread on the seat

of

his sofa, one of which he handed to Conan, and the last he kept for

himself.

They sat, drying their hair and hands and opening their warm tea.

If they were wearing rain gear, that seems like a bit of overkill on the
towels.

And a raincoat and umbrella keep you completely dry in a downpour HOW often,
again?

(Especially the kind of rains you see in Tokyo...)

Takagi blinked, then laughed weakly. "Conan-kun, that's...just not
possible..."

Has he had suspicions in the past?  The main reason I would see for
laughing weakly would be doubting his own statement.

No, that's just Takagi's character. He's easily cowed.

"Right. So...she made a drug that let you change back for three days?"


"Yeah, and I took it the day before my birthday..."

Extra line between the last two paragraphs.

I wish people would stop commenting on this. It's fairly obvious my mail
client did this. It doesn't exist in the original draft. -_-#

"Don't be, I'm the one who should be apologising. I've screwed up both

our

lives with my stupid mystery otaku ways." He chuckled, a bitter and
self-depreciating sound.

This instance of Japanese went a bit farther than I think works for
flavor, I have a limited exposure to Japanese and when I see otaku I
tend to think of a fan (typically of the geeky, pimply variety).  That
doesn't quite fit with mystery or Kudou in general.

WRONG. Because "mystery otaku" is precisely what EVERYONE calls Kudou in the
original context. Just because you are personally only familiar with one
context of the word--and a completely inaccurate context at that--doesn't
make it incorrect.

"Well, it sounds to me like you have every reason NOT to want to vanish,
Kudou-kun," Takagi said, confusion and uncertainty in his voice. "What
changed?"

"Well, three days ago..."

Just a quick question, but I just wanted to check, did all of this
actually happen in the comics?  Or were there changes between that story
and this one?  (Notably Kudou and Ran getting together.)

Obviously, this didn't happen in the manga. The only things referenced in
this story that actually happened in the manga, other than the general
premise of the series, are the elevator incident and the attempt on Kogoro's
life.

"You're going to deliver a letter for me," Conan replied simply. "Kudou
Shinichi's final letter to his girlfriend...before he enters the Witness
Relocation Program in America and disappears forever."

You know, it does seem like it would fit a little better to find an
equivalent program in Japan to use.  I haven't seen much of the show,
but I don't recall indications that the organization is world wide,
which makes it seem really odd that the Witness Relocation Program would
even accept Conan.

Except for the following:

1. It's SHINICHI who's disappearing, not Conan.
2. Shinichi's parents already live in America.
3. The FBI have been heavily involved in the same case as Shinichi for some
time.

Therefore, it's entirely feasible for him to be under the protection of the
FBI in America, and it makes the likelihood of Ran actively searching for
him far lower.

It had been several days since Takagi had delivered his letter to Ran,

and

he'd begun formulating long-term plans. He intended to stick around for
about another year, just to make sure Ran would eventually be okay, then
finally rejoin his parents in America, and...

And here they probably thought they were done with raising children.

Like they bothered doing much of THAT in the first place...

Actually, that raises another question that wasn't addressed in the
portions of the series I saw--does Conan age now that he's a child?  Or
is he immortal for all intents and purposes?  I could see quite a few
people willing to live as a child for the rest of their lives if those
lives had no time limit.

The fact is, time hasn't actually passed in the series. Well, there've been
a few vague references to "a few months ago" or "last week" here and there,
but basically, though the seasons have changed during the twelve years this
series has been active, time has basically stood still--everyone is still in
the same year of school they were in during the first volume of the manga.

But no, the question of whether or not Conan and Haibara will age has not
been answered, and has in fact been a major source of fan speculation for
years. ESPECIALLY since 2003/2004 and the notorious revelation of Vermouth's
TRUE identity, this speculation has been on the increase, because Vermouth
is, by all appearances, immortal.

Ran had not reacted well to the "news", of course. In fact, he was

beginning

to get concerned. She'd not been eating well all week, and she'd been

sick

frequently. In fact, he occasionally heard her vomiting, and he had to
wonder--even as he flinched from the guilt of causing her so much pain

she

became violently physically ill--how she had anything in her to puke up

in

the first place, seeing as she rarely ate anything anymore.

Some detective he is-- pregnancy is the first thing I think of when I
hear about inexplicable sickness like this.  :)

Heh. Yeah, but sometimes even detectives ignore the obvious. ;)

"What's wrong? What did the doctor say?" Was she really that seriously

ill?

Had something else happened? The detective's mind raced furiously,

various

disaster scenarios flashing through his brain like the lightning in the

sky.

"You're going to be okay, right?" Right?

Is that second 'Right?' supposed to be a thought/affirmation or spoken?

Thought/narrative POV.


Thanks for reading!

================================
Dude, stop wailing on my junk!
              ~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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