Dave Wong wrote:

Both he and Akane had called the number listed in the
phonebook, of course, but they'd only gotten
Kobayakawa-san's answering machine.  This had remained
the same after nearly a week; after that, Ranma
decided that a more direct approach was needed. Thus,
the reason why he'd utilized the
Goshin-Dai-Ryu-Sei-Fu, 

Enough!  We get it!  He's using the Goshinyaddayadda..
You don't have to keep telling us.  Whatever that is.

End Chapter 1

Author's Notes:  

I have a feeling that the chapter is too fast.  Please
help me with that, if you will.    

What are you trying to actually do with this story?  Where's the actual 
conflict?  A problem to solve.  A barrier to overcome.  Can the devil 
show up and challenge Ranma to a fiddle competition for a golden fiddle? 
  Can he get his hands on a cursed violin?  Can you start doing a riff 
on the Man With One Red Shoe?  Is there some lesson you want Ranma to 
learn that he hasn't already learned in the previous story?  My problem 
with this chapter is that it isn't about things happening.  It's about 
things not happening.  That's why the bit of it I liked was the 
interaction between Ranma "chan" and the shop keeper because something 
happened there.  Ranma made a friend.  It was lovable.  I'd like to see 
more stuff with old shop keeper guy but a lot less of Ranma avoiding 
conflict and consequently nothing happening.

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