Okay, time to tackle some of my massive backlog. I can think of no better
place to start than with a classic Lawson fic.

If you don't know me, I am very open to any comments and criticisms.  I

read

and consider every piece of feedback, both good and bad, and rewrite my
stories accordingly.  So please, don't hold back, flame away if you feel
like it, I won't be the least bit insulted.  Even if you insult me.  =)

What if we spit in your eye, stomp on your kidneys, and steal your puppy?

As always, I'd love to hear anything at all you have to say about this.

Okay, how about: NARF!

Kentaro stood, relaxed and poised.  Although he was breathing heavily and
sweating profusely, he didn't feel tired.  He could do this for more hours
if he needed to.  Three years ago, he would have been in the hospital by
now.

Yet another soul is lost to Dance Dance Revolution.

Most of the other people in the room were in similar condition.  They were
all in top shape, the result of a rigorous training program.  They all had
expressions of grim satisfaction.  Anyone who could get this far could

count

themselves among the best-conditioned people on campus.

"Our DDR club is the best in Japan!"

Sensei walked up and down the rows of people, stopping to look each

student

in the eye.  Her expression was very serious, her gaze penetrating.

"I'm not seeing enough arm work, people! It's not just about the steps, you
need STYLE!"

She shook her head.  "Enough advertising.  Think upon the lessons of the
School of Indiscriminate Grappling.  We do not hold ourselves to one way

of

doing things; we do not fall into the trap of depending on one set of

moves

to help us in combat.  Rather, we continue to grow and adapt.  To learn

from

what happens around us, and use the knowledge to better ourselves.  The
School's first and most revered precept is this:  Keep your mind open and
your body ready, and there is no enemy that can overcome you."

"More than once. Twice, max."

Kentaro sighed.  As her first student and heir-apparent to the School, he
didn't have to pay her for lessons.  At the same time, his training went
well beyond the regularly scheduled classes she gave.  She was quite

likely

to spring out of nowhere and insist on giving him a lesson or two.

It made going to the toilet VERY interesting.

He tried a sweeping backhand, as quickly as he could.  Sensei ducked under
it. He followed with a foot sweep, and she jumped over it.

Then he went for an eyepoke, and she countered by honking his nose with her
toes.

"Kentaro..."  He could sense her gathering her courage.  "I love you."

Awwwww.

His mind boggled.  In the three and a half years he had known her, their
relationship had proceeded in fits and spurts.  They had started as

teacher

and student.  That had quickly become a friendship that Kentaro sensed

Ranma > had desperately needed.  She had been quite lonely.

She couldn't figure out how to change the batteries in her Hello Kitty
massager.

Unfortunately, Kentaro had not been content with mere friendship.  Their
relationship had come to a critical turning point at the end of their
freshman year.  Kentaro had finally admitted to Ranma that he couldn't go

on

being just her friend.  Ranma had responded by at first retreating
completely from the world.  She had disappeared during the school break,
never contacting him, leading him to believe he'd never see her again.

When she'd come back,

the stench had knocked him flying.

him.  Kentaro felt a little guilty about the circumstances that forced her
into that choice; he had pressed the issue at a time when she had been the
most vulnerable.  As lonely as she had been, it had been a terrible
decision, especially since her sexual preference was not for men.

There's operations for that, you know.

Several things had changed in Ranma after that summer.  She had started
becoming an active part of the college, joining the gymnastics and soccer
teams as well as offering instruction in martial arts.  Her circle of
friends had grown wider and wider, and Ranma had actually become quite
popular on campus.

She also changed her name to "Kim Possible" and insisted on calling him Ron,
and made him buy a pet naked mole-rat.

She had also allowed Kentaro to date her, and parts of it hadn't been

easy.

He had to beat her in combat first.

Their physical relationship, especially, was part heaven and hell.  Their
first few kisses had been very stiff, with Ranma being unable to do so

much

as part her lips or apply pressure.

Her breath was nothing to write home about, either.

The other parts of their relationship had been wonderful.  She was as good

a

friend as he had ever had, and they shared things with each other,

Boxer shorts, athlete's foot...

With graduation looming in the horizon, a peculiar pressure had been

brought

to their relationship.  Kentaro was planning on going on to medical

school,

and quite possibly becoming a surgeon.  Ranma's degree had been in

Physical

Education, and she was planning on opening a dojo.

So they compromised: they decided to open the Anything Goes Surgical Dojo
and Martial Arts Hospital.

Kentaro had felt more than a little irritated himself.  He'd finally said
out loud the words that had been implicitly forbidden in their

relationship.

"Vaginal yeast infection"?

He'd told her that he loved her, and was quite interested in spending the
rest of his life with her.  The words had driven her to a white-hot fury.

"How DARE you be a romantic boyfriend!"

Kentaro sympathized with the choice she'd been forced to make.  Staying

with

him would mean partaking of a sexual lifestyle that was repugnant to her.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't DO scatophilia!"

Now, at long last, she had admitted love to him.  There was a joy rising

in

his heart, one that he had never felt before.  Suddenly, he could come to
believe that a future together with Ranma was attainable.  That filled him
with a peace and happiness he had never known.

And then the Borg arrived.

Kentaro's pulse quickened.  All seniors were encouraged to live

off-campus,

given the perpetual housing shortage the college had.

Honest C&C time here.

Japanese colleges, especially at the level Ranma is actually probably
qualified to enter, generally DO NOT HAVE on-campus housing of ANY sort.
That's why you always see home settings for higher-level schools being
cheap-rent apartments and "dorms" like Hinata-sou, which are actually
family-run communal apartment mansions.

Hell, Toudai doesn't even have student housing. You have to find a place to
live in the same or neighboring ward (or just live at home, if you actually
live in Tokyo) and take the train to the campus station.

After all, with mass public transit the way it is in most urban areas of the
country, commuting from home to the school is usually not a major problem.

 Ranma had used the
money she earned teaching her martial arts classes to find a small studio
apartment not far from campus.  It was the one place she allowed him to do
anything more than hold her hand.  Her passionate kiss just now, coupled
with her admission of love, gave Kentaro reason to hope that something new
was about to happen.

Naked Twister!

They climbed the outside stairs that lead to her third-floor apartment.

As

they turned the corner to the outside hallway that lead to Ranma's room,

she

froze in place.  Kentaro glanced at her in surprise, then looked to see

what

she was staring at.

"What the hell is that statue of Priapus doing here?"

Kentaro started.  He stared at the woman.  She was a little taller than
Ranma, with shoulder-length hair and a beautiful face.  She was wearing a
blue dress and a white, wide-brimmed hat.  He couldn't help noticing that
she was in very fit condition, obviously a martial artist herself.

[Ranma] *hits Kentaro upside the head* "Oi! Quit lookin' at other girls!"

Kentaro frowned, a little confused and more than a little concerned.

"Cure?

Cured of what?"

Akane shot a look of disgust at Kentaro.  "Cured of being female."

Nasty disease, that.

Akane dismissed him to turn back to Ranma.  Ranma seemed to be no better
off; she was staring wide-eyed at Akane.  "How?"

"There's this doctor in Sweden..."

Akane ignored her and continued.  "She didn't find you, of course, but she
did find your father.  He was a little drunk, and didn't get out of her

way

in time.  Your mother went ballistic, demanding that he tell her where you
were. Your father refused to answer.  In a panic, he jumped into the

pond -

in full view of your mother."

Whoops.

Ranma groaned and put her hand to her forehead.

"Panda no baka."

Kentaro's mind was still reeling.  Panda form.  Akane said that in such a
matter-of-fact tone, as if Ranma's father had simply changed his clothes.

Well, he did. He took off his gi and put on a very heavy fur coat. :P

Akane looked grim.  "She said that seppuku was something only honorable
warriors did.  Since your father was without honor, she was not going to
hold him to the contract."

Ouch.

Akane tried to put on a bright, happy face.  "Nabiki did.  For all that

she

argued against forcing us to married, no one worked harder than she did to
find you a cure.  While we were all concentrating on looking for other

magic

to reverse what had been done to you, she looked on trying to recover the
Kaisuifuu."

Gesundheit!

Akane's smile faded away.  "I've had several boyfriends.  Although they

were

all nice, none of them could ever measure up to you.  It... it made me
realize what a special person you are.  If, if we can get you cured, I...

I

would have no objections to... becoming your fianc�e again."

Awww.

Akane looked surprised and a little hurt at Ranma's reaction.  She looked

at

Kentaro again, with such hostility and anger that Kentaro actually leaned
back, reeling under its impact.

If looks could kill, eh?

Ranma and Kentaro looked at each other.  Ranma looked a little frightened.
"Tell me what you're feeling."

[Kentaro] "Well I'm NOT feeling YOU! You're a DUDE!"

[Aerosmith] "Dude looks like a lady!"

[Kentaro] "NOBODY ASKED YOU!"

Kentaro felt his chest tighten.  "No."  The force of that one admission
turned his mind to jelly.  "No.  She, she believes it too."

"Yeah, she does."  Ranma looked a little angry now, which in a way made
Kentaro feel better.  Ranma flabbergasted was beyond his experience; Ranma
annoyed he was well used to.  "She believes it, I believe it.  Tell me,
Kenny-boy, what do you believe?"

"I believe I can fly! I believe I can touch the sky!"

"Maybe, he says.  What a jerk."  Despite that, her face softened slightly.
"Truth is, if someone told me the story I told you, I'd laugh in their

face

and write 'em off as crazy.  You did a lot better, accepting my story and
never treating me as nutty for believing it.  I mean, yeah, I wish you

could

have believed me just a little.  But I can't blame you for not really
believing, and I'm glad you showed as much patience and understanding as

you > did."

Awwwww.

Kentaro looked into Ranma's face.  She was smiling now, showing sympathy

and

bemusement

Bemusement? Really? That doesn't seem to fit the scene...

Kentaro stood up, watching Ranma.  Something grabbed his arm, and he felt

a

voice whispering in his ear, so quiet he could barely hear, but filled

with

an intensity that made him flinch.  "You can't have him.  He's mine.  You
have no hold on him.  Your relationship with him is obscene.  Don't cause

us

any trouble or I will hurt you."

Gee, how...civil.

Kentaro turned to look at Akane as she leaned away.  Her face was mask of
cold fury, and her eyes glimmered with a promise of violence.

Kentaro gulped but held her eyes, trying to show a measure of his
determination.  Somehow, though, it melted in the face of her anger.

Wimp.

They came up to a house surrounded by a wall.  They stood at the front

gate.

Streamed across the top of the gate was a banner which cheerfully
proclaimed, "Welcome home, Ranma".  Ranma grimaced when she saw it.  She >

stood for a while, evidently gathering her courage.  Then she opened the

gate.

And was promptly hit with a 50-pound lead cannonball.

Akane and Kentaro followed behind her.  Kentaro looked around.  The yard

was > lovely, and the house very nice.  A little better than he had expected
of a

home inside Tokyo; he wondered if some of his provincialism was showing.

That ain't the only thing showing. Zip up that fly, man.

"Ranma!"  The woman ran down the path.  Ranma allowed herself to be swept
into her mother's grasp.  They hugged for a long while.  Ranma's mother

was

sobbing. Ranma was trying to comfort her, despite the fact that tears were
flowing from her eyes.

Suggest an "own" here: "from her *own* eyes."

Kentaro stood silently, waiting for Ranma to make the rounds.  The last
person she went up to was her father.  They stared at each other for a

long

moment while the rest of the family watched quietly.  Finally, Genma

reached

out with one hand.  "Ranma...."  Then they, too, were hugging each other,
and Genma's eyes were glistening.  Genma was saying, "I'm sorry" over and
over again.  Finally, Ranma broke the hug and punched her father in the
shoulder. "Shut up, Pop.  You want to make it up to me, you start training
with me again.  Looks like you've gone a long time between workouts.  It's
going to be fun whipping you back into shape."

Oh dear. XD

Reflexes Kentaro didn't know he had took over.  He stepped back and

grabbed

Genma's out flung arms.  He spun in the hallway and threw Genma through

the

door opposite, which led into a yard.

As he let Genma go, rational thought returned.  This wasn't a dojo or a

gym

classroom, with mats on the floor and walls.  Genma was likely to get

hurt.

Kentaro tried to grab Genma again, but it was far too late.  Fortunately,

he

landed in a pond in the yard.

"So is he worthy?"

"Yep, he's worthy."

Ranma looked up at Nabiki, who nodded.  "It looks good.  Obviously no

one's

ever done a study on how magical kettles react when buried under tons of
rock.  Still, it seems to have kept its shape.  The kettle is perhaps one
hundred meters from the surface."

"A hundred meters?"  Kentaro spoke in spite of himself.  "Through solid
rock?"

So about two minutes' work, three tops.

"My husband," Nodoka spat, "was in no condition to make any agreements on
behalf of the Saotome family.  As I understand it, he spent much of his

time

as a panda, and drunk."

She has a good point.

Kentaro shook his head.  "Nevertheless.  He agreed."

HE has a good point.

Kasumi's voice, gentle and slightly wistful, was like a breath of spring

air

warming the iciness of the atmosphere around the table.  "Perhaps we

should

look at this from another angle.  Rather than debate these issues of duty
and obligation, let us ask Ranma-kun what he wants to do."

THANK YOU, Voice Of Reason!

There was another, shorter pause while everyone considered Tofu's words.
Finally, Nodoka nodded.   "You speak wisely, Tofu-san.  Son, I will speak
with you later."  She stood up and glared at Genma.  "Husband, I will

speak

with you now."

Oh dear. XD

 She turned and left the dining room, heading out into the
yard towards the dojo.  Genma stood as well, still wearing a neutral
expression as he followed his wife with all the enthusiasm of a man

walking

to the gallows.

Which is pretty much the size of it.

Kentaro sighed.  He'd been training for three and a half years.  Akane had
been training most of her life.  He had no illusions about his ability to
stand up to her in combat.  "Are you sure that's the whole reason,
Akane-san?  You wouldn't be trying to carry out the threat you made to me
back in Ranma's apartment?"

To his surprise, she smiled widely.  "Oh good.  You question my honor as
well.  Now you will challenge me if you have any sense of honor at all."

He walked RIGHT into that one.

Kentaro took a few seconds to get his breath back, then he stood up and

sent

a glare of his own at Akane.  "Yes, we are done.  If you have a problem

with

my status in the School, bring it up with Sensei.  If I have insulted your
honor - and I don't think I have - it's been satisfied.  Most of all, I am
not going to let you assault me just because you're angry.  I don't know

why

it should shock you that Ranma decided not to pine over you for all
eternity, but I also know she shouldn't have to apologize for that.  And

I'm

not going to apologize, either."

OUCH! Ice burn. XD

Kasumi pointed to a spigot surrounded by buckets and soap.  "You need only
wash your hands, Kentaro-san.  Ranma and his father were always coming to
the table right after their workouts.  No one will think less of you for

not

giving yourself a thorough bath before breakfast."

It's not as though they can think ANY less of him than they already do...

Kentaro chuckled.  "They couldn't think less of me anyway."

Jinx. :P

"I know that you love Ranma.  Oh my."  Kasumi's hands fluttered.  "It

sounds

strange to say that.  I still think of Ranma as a man."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

"Ain't got room at the table for pandas, Pop."  Ranma's speech patterns

were

quite rough, something she slipped into sometimes when she was working out
or particularly stressed.  "Damn, you're out of shape.  You may wanna work
on your conditioning before our evening session.  I plan to beat the hell
out of you then, too."  She grinned at him.

Heheheh.

Someone sat down next to him on the rock.  He turned to see Nabiki giving
him a critical look.  She was holding up a photo album.  "Thought I'd show
you some pictures."

Oh hell, here it goes.

She was becoming angry herself.  "Because I know Ranma.  He can't ever

hide > his feelings from me.  He still loves my sister.  You see the way he
looks

and acts around her in those pictures.  He's still doing it."

Kentaro raised an eyebrow.  "And how does Ranma look and act around me?"

Oooh, touche.

Kentaro shook his head.  "You pushed her away as much as she ran away.

You

all treated her like she'd been given an incurable disease.  Akane stopped
loving Ranma, unable to deal with what had happened to Ranma and unable to
overcome her homophobia."

OUCH! XD

He tried to argue with himself.  All he was doing was making sure Ranma

was

given a choice.  If she chose to give him up, that was all right, he could
accept that.  He just wanted to ensure that Ranma was not forced....

He just wanted to ensure that Ranma was given every opportunity to choose
him.

That's called "being human".

"Three times," Ranma corrected herself almost instantly.  "The funny thing
is, I wore women's clothing much more often before... before Herb.   Now
I... wear the dress only when... when I start yearning too much to become

a

man again. It's sort of a reminder to myself that I'm a woman now.  It

makes

me feel weird, though.  I think that, no matter how long I continue to be

a

woman, I'll never be able to do certain things."

"Like for instance, scratchin' my balls...'cuz I don't got 'em no more."

Ranma sighed, audible even from where Kentaro stood.  "It's a hell of a
mess. I keep playing games of 'what-if'.  What if Nabiki and her friend
hadn't been able to track down that damn kettle.  What if the battle had
gone just a little differently with Herb, and I could have recovered the
damn kettle before it was buried.  What if I had never gone to China.

What

if I had been born a girl in the first place.  What if I'd never been born
at all."

"What if I'd been born a rhesus monkey."

He could see her shake her head.  "Because... because I've missed being
alone with you.  Because I love you.  Because I think you need my company
right now."

"Because you think that in a few days I may be deprived of your company?
Because you think maybe I need a going-away present?"

Okay, that's COMPLETELY uncalled for. :/

He stared at the shape that was Ranma.  It didn't move.  After long

minutes,

it got silently out of his bed and moved towards the door.

Ranma opened the door, then turned to face him.  "Kentaro, I'm sorry."

Don't apologise to him, he's being a total jerk!

A cry of triumph cut through the air.  Ranma pulled something out of the
loose rubble at her feet.  She shouted again, incoherently, a sound of

pure

joy, of desire fulfilled, of wish come true.

"I found a penny!"

"Listen.  Just listen."  Akane smiled sadly.  "When I kissed Ranma, at

first

he didn't respond.  Then he began to kiss me back.  Then he shuddered."

"Gee, Akane, what the HELL you been eatin'?"

Kentaro bent down and picked up the cask.  He held it in front of him,
staring down at his reflection in the turbulent water.  What price love?

FIDDYCENT!

*snip remainder*

Ah, it was truly a joy to read that again after so many years--and such a
surprise that it's held up well to the test of time. Kudos. ^_^

================================
Dude, stop wailing on my junk!
              ~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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