A brief bit of C&C and I'll be blunt.

I can see what you're doing, and its an interesting idea, but quite  
frankly, Harry's coming off as a bit of a twink and by the time I got  
to the letter scene I was bored stiff and closed the mail window.

If memory serves, the Jungian Archtype of the Hero (Harry) is  
described as someone full of contradictions. At once both strong and  
yet full of doubt and lacking self-confidence.

Is Harry smart, yes, but he doesn't apply himself, like most  
students. This is Harry acting like Hermione and more mature than he  
should be.

My advice would be to rip out the D&D stuff. It doesn't really do  
much for the plot and the finding of the boxes of books suffices just  
as well.

Boys can bond over books, you know.

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