Since you tried so hard to post this:

Brian Randall wrote:

Trying again, hopefully this time with less failure....



	The Blunt Force Trauma of Suzumiya Haruhi

	Prologue: In which the world ends.
 

Not capitalizing  the title there?

BTW, this was one of the few animes where I watched the first epsiode 
which turned me off so much I cut the second episode in mid download.

Of course, I actually like High School Girls, so take that for what you 
will.

	---------------------------------

	I am running down the hallway connecting the old clubhouse to the
school proper.  Koizumi is right behind me, and Asahina-san and
Yuki-san are following.  We are told not to run in the halls, of
course, but I think we can get away with it.

	We are, after all, saving the world.

	Again.
 

Do like the way that reads, though

	"What do you have?" I ask, when Yuki-san simply stands there and says
nothing else.  Asahina-san tries to catch her breath, fussing with her
maid's uniform. 

Ah yes, a maid. Now we need someone with cat girl ears to make things 
complete.

	"This notebook is a lure produced 

'created' would be better since you use 'induce' a second later.

	"Well," he says, looking up and offering his familiar, phony grin,
"we are seeing a previously unprecedented level of closed-space
formation.  If Nagato-san's information is accurate, we me 

may, I think

	So, that incident, which Asahina-san herself warned me about ...
well, no.  It was an Asahina-san from another time-plane.  Or the
future.  I'm not really sure I understood her explanation.  I was
warned, though.
 

Me either, assuming this isn't all some fantasy Haruhi conconted. But I 
did only watch one episode.

	Her hair is shorter than it used to be, but it still waves in the
breeze that wafts over the building.  I see something that I don't
like immediately, and begin thinking of the notebook that Yuki-san has
already gone through.

	Haruhi is holding extra pages.  Which 

pages, which

appear to have been torn from a
notebook.  I have the uneasy sensation that something is very wrong
when I hear a sob from the girl who has her back turned to us.

	No, Haruhi, I want to say.  I don't know what you're doing, but....

	Then the other entity appears.  This is none other than Taniguchi,
the same one who walked in on Yuki-san and myself after the
unfortunate incident with Ryouko.  "This is close enough the
clubroom," Koizumi whispers to me suddenly.  "I expect that I could
draw up to thirty five 

thirty-five

	"Fuumofu!" Koizumi exclaims,

Wait, he's channeling FMP now? ^_^

	Asahina-san shrieks and clings to me even tighter, and then I see a
final bolt headed towards her.  Wait, that can't be right.  Those
bolts should be much too fast for me to react to.  Even as I throw
Asahina-san to safety, taking the bolt myself, I see Haruhi staring at
me, her eyes filled with tears.

	"Why?" she asks, just before the world goes away.
 

Interesting idea. Flowed well, though as I said, I'm not aware of the 
continuity issues and stuff and was pretty lost.

DB Sommer


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