against non-cannon pairings, but personally, I like to think that it's
much

Canon.  'Cannon' has an entirely different meaning, one that has more to do
with large amounts of gunpowder and large metal balls.  Of course, that
could be what you're going for here. :-P

You know, I had it spelled 'canon' to begin with, and then something made me 
think that was wrong and I changed it.  Silly me. :p  Thanks.

Hyuuga Hinata stared at the chessboard before her, completely aghast.
"You...you beat me...in only six turns," she whispered in awe.

Somehow, these two lines don't seem to match.  Perhaps have Hinata's aghast
look turn to a subtle smile or something like that?

I'd meant for her to be in shock at having been defeated so quickly.  
Personally, I don't even know if it's possible to win in six turns.  I've 
never seen it, anyway. *shrug*

But then a week ago, after Shino and that Temari girl had gotten 

together,

Wait, wait.  Are you implying that Shino actually has *emotions*? ;-)

He did in that instance, anyway.  If you haven't read it yet I'll be happy 
to send it to you.

'troublesome'.  Unlike so many of the other girls he knew, she wasn't
loud,
boastful, obnoxious, violent, or any other quality that he had assumed
were
common traits in all females.

Wait until he's dealt with her when she's having her, ah, monthly
difficulties.  It's the quiet ones ya gotta watch.

(ObCarlin: Of course, while you're watching the quiet ones, the noisy ones
will f***in' kill you!)

Heheh, I suppose that's pretty accurate.

"Um...Shikamaru-kun?"

Hm.  I'm not sure even at her most comfortable that Hinata would refer to
Shikamaru as 'kun'.  She's the type for formality, and she doesn't know him
that well.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if I should or not.  The only people that I've 
really known Hinata to converse with much has been Naruto and her teammates, 
all of whom she uses -kun, Kurenai she calls sensei, and Neji she calls 
-niisan.  Maybe -san would have been a better choice since he basically 
outranks her at this point?

his focus back to the board, but for some reason couldn't bring himself 

to

ruin her mood by capturing the knight with his rook like he'd intended,
and

You're doomed, Nara-kun. ;)

And he doesn't even realize it! *Evil cackle*

"Well, sort of.  It's not as though they used it to plan battles, per 

say.

It's 'per se'.  That's one of those words that's much easier to use in
speech rather than writing.

Ah, thanks.  Will fix.

She then noted that she was now in position to capture his rook on
the next turn so long as he didn't move it.

'Perhaps I should do some practice on my kunoichi training.  A sexy pout or
something,' she thought to herself.  Not that anything would come of it, of
course, but a girl's gotta use all the tools she's got!

(grinning, ducking, running away very fast)

Heh, I'm sure Hinata would make a good sexy pouter, I just don't know how 
much it would affect someone like Shikamaru.

Hinata paused in her move to think.  "Um...a bishop, maybe?"

Smart girl, our Hinata.

Or a lucky guesser, perhaps? ;p

all of Konoha, yet my little sister has always managed to excel 

everything

excel in everything

I seem to have mixed up the phrases 'excel in everything' and 'excel 
everywhere'.  Thanks for the catch.

much I think I improve, I just end up getting in the way of the other's
when

No apostrophe, I think.

Right.  Fixed.

Neji-neesan who carries on the bloodline of the Main Branch, not me."

Heh.  Neji's a girl, Neji's a girl, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! ;-P

*Groan*  Yeah, Lurker caught that, too.  For some reason I always want to 
associate the 'ee' in the word with the male term.  I'll break the habit 
soon, I should hope.  Thanks.

Shikamaru could almost sense tears about to fall from the pearl-white 

eyes

At which point, the similarities between Shikamaru and *every other boy*
would appear, since noone could bear to see Hinata-chan cry.

True, but as you saw, he just goes about cheering her up in a different way.

I liked it, though chess has never been my game.  I used to play it when I
was *much* younger, but I don't think I have in decades.

My brother and I play chess all the time.  We were actually playing it when 
he suggested a story like this about some girl and Shikamaru.  But since I'm 
the writer of us two, I went with Hinata and...here we are. ^_^

Thanks for the C&C!

Eric 'Dragonboy' Holdt

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