Stiel:  While we love the series, we do tend to shy away from HP fanfics.
FF.net overloads, ya know?

Boy, tell me about it. And all the bad slash running around... X_X

Dragonboy:  Fortunately, this one is by Lurker, so it can't completely

suck.

Sure it can. I'm by no means immune to fuckups. ^^;

of her laughter which he could hear even across the
crowded hall, the sparkle in her eyes, long absent after the death of

Dragonboy:  This might not be necessary, but perhaps changing 'after' to
'since' would sound a little better?

Hmm. Good call.

"Really, Ron, was that absolutely necessary?" Hermione Granger asked, a
familiar note of exasperation in her voice.

Stiel:  Seems a better alternative to just hexing Harry into paying
attention, doesn't it?

This is true.

He was brought back to reality when Hermione, having noticed he'd stopped
writing, took his roll of parchment and began reading it. "Let's see how
your essay is coming," she said. "'Flying in the sky, no draught of life
elixir, sweeter than your smile. Beautiful eagles, exotic raven beauty,
cats
must chase their prey. I seek something gold...' Harry, what the devil is
this? You're supposed to be doing Potions, not...not...sappy poetry!"

Stiel:  I think Ron needs to start writing _her_ poetry.  Might lighten

her

up, ya know?

I'd rather not see what kind of attempts at "poetry" Ron comes up with.
Potato farmers do not great poets make, and Ron is as destined to be a
potato farmer as any bloke I've ever met.

"OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!" Hermione screamed, throwing her book across the
room
and startling two first-years. "Get. Your. Mind. OFF. OF. THAT. *GIRL!*"
she
yelled at Harry.

Dragonboy:  Hermoine throwing books? o_O

Stiel:  Oh yeah, she needs to be laid.  Bad.

No kidding.

Moaning Myrtle sighed languidly. "It'd be nice for someone to say hello

to

me in a civil manner just once...no, it's always 'Oh, Myrtle, you scared
me!' 'Myrtle, what're you doing here?' 'Go away, you stupid dizzy

ghost!'"

Tears welled up in her luminescent eyes. "Sometimes I wonder why I bother
coming out of my toilet at all..."

Dragonboy:  Well maybe if she'd knock first...

Heh!

Myrtle floated so close that Cho could feel the ghost's frigid essence
chilling her bare skin, giving her goosebumps. "Your name," Myrtle rasped
ephemerally.

Stiel:  Has anyone ever told you that you possess one hell of a

vocabulary,

Lurker?

Occasionally. ^_^

Harry sighed. He just knew Cho was going to read his letter and hate it,
and
know it was from him, and hate him and laugh at him and--

Dragonboy:  Pessimistic much?

Eh, that's "teenage boy with a crush" for you.

"That'll have been some letter," Hermione remarked several days later.
"She'
s been in quite a cheerful mood all week long."

Dragonboy:  Weird looking first sentence.  "That must have been...",

maybe?

It's valid, it's just a bit more British than you might be used to. ^_^ The
trick is it's contracting "That shall" rather than "That will".

"Then keep following it," Hermione said crisply. "Now, here's what you're
going to do..."

Dragonboy:  Yes, Rob; I'd like to Press My Luck!

Stiel:  Big prize, no WHAMMIE!

Oh, he wants to give Cho a WHAMMIE alright...

want to risk getting her admirer in trouble--surely writing anonymous

love

letters wasn't against any school rules, but she didn't want to risk
anything that would turn him off of writing her before she at least heard

>from his own quill who he was.

Dragonboy:  And that there is the problem with the owl messaging system:

No

*69.

And no Caller ID except visual identification of the owl.

"I'll bet you anything it's him," Marietta said.

Stiel:  'Him' who?

You know..*HIM*.

"But Potter's with Granger, isn't he?" Marietta asked.

"Not according to Parvati," Padma said, shrugging. "She thinks Granger

and

Ron Weasley are a couple, though they'd never admit it to anyone."

"The way they're always yelling at each other?"

Stiel:  Is there any surer sign?

Snogging in the corridors with their hands down each others' pants?

Harry walked up to the Owlery, clutching a small box with scarlet

wrapping

paper and a royal blue satin ribbon. His insides were fluttering as

though

he'd swallowed a hundred Snitches--today, finally, was the day. This

would

be the end of the secret admirer letters. Today, Cho would know. And then
he
'd find out whether or not she liked him at all.

Dragonboy:  Might just be the ML messing with it, but there seems to be a
space between 'he'd' there.

Yeah, odd little formatting glitches happen between text editor and e-mail.
*shrug*

Harry saw Cho coming toward him, and stood, swallowing nervously.

"Hullo,"

Stiel:  Intentional, right?

Right. British thing, all that.

"You might want to stop wanking in the prefect's bath. Moaning Myrtle's
been
watching you. And blabbing."

Harry turned very, very red. "Err..."

Cho smiled, and slipped an arm around his waist, leaning into his

shoulder.

"Just thought you'd want to know."

D&S:  Heh.

^_^

Dragonboy:  Very well done, indeed.  Though by now I'd expect nothing less
from you, Lurker-san.  A great way to kick off the FFML revolution. ^_^

*bows* Thank you, thank you.

Stiel:  I have to agree.  It's rare (RARE!!) to even attempt to find any
decent HP fics within the motherload of them throughout the internet, but
this was definitely a keeper.  Nice work.

Oh, there's quite a few out there. It's just that you can mostly only find
them by sheer luck or word-of-mouth.

Thanks for the C&C!

================================
Please do not stare at my crotch.
              ~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com



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