Well, I didn't see anything wrong with the fic grammatically speaking,

save

the part where Cho is looking in the mirror.

"So's the rest of you, dear," the mirror replied. "So don't fret about

it."

I'd just leave off the second "So."

I play the spell card Dialogue Exception.

For the content, well, it's well-written and it does build up the suspense

a

bit, but it peters out at the end. There isn't a real sense of danger or
conflint when Harry is working his magic -- pardon the pun -- on the gold

coins.

Um, there isn't SUPPOSED to be. It's intended as a lighthearted romance
piece. c.c

It works as a nice WAFF -- it's spectacular at the beginning and the

midway

point. But there isn't much of a climax to talk about.

Again, it's not SUPPOSED to be suspenseful or climactic. It's just fluff.

================================
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