Subject: [FFML] [C&C] Re: [Fanfic][Naruto][Reformatted] Suiren, Chapter 3: Rain...
From: Aaron Nowack
Date: 6/28/2006, 6:45 PM
To: eimii
CC: ffml@anifics.com

eimii wrote:
Disclaimer: All characters portrayed (thus far) are creations and 
property of Kishimoto Masashi. I claim no legal right to use them, and I 
am making no money off of this piece of fanfiction. Please don't sue 
me... or send ninja lawyers...

Standard C&C Disclaimer:  All the below is my only occasionally useful
humble opinion, my only occasionally correct grammatical and spelling
corrections, and/or my only occasionally funny humor.

Spoiler Warning: This chapter still takes place during the intermission 
between the second and third stages of the Chuunin Exam. It was a whole 
month long, ya know...

Oh, I know.  You have no idea how tempted I was to come up with some
reason to cut that down when I was first planning One Hundred Days...

A groan of dread escaped Sakura's lips as she gazed forlornly out into 
gray light of early morning. The raging downpour that had swirled out of 
nowhere last night hadn't stopped yet. *The roads must be like brown 
rivers by now.* What were the odds that Gai would cancel practice on 
account of the village washing away? *And deny me the chance to twist 
both ankles and eat four gallons of mud? Not bloody likely!* Sighing, 
the pink-haired kunoichi prepared to once again sacrifice her body to 
the bushy-browed demon of hard work.

...bad mental images.  Bad, bad, bad mental images.

Locking the door behind her, Sakura took a moment to consider the rainy 
street. She would have alter her routine a bit if she didn't want to be 
spotted looking even stupider than usual on the way to the training 
field where she'd be meeting Gai. First, she gathered some chakra into 
her feet so that she could run over the puddles without disturbing them. 

While it is definitely something she should pick up easily (perhaps even
on her own), canonically I don't believe Sakura has learned to walk on
water at this point.  Naruto is/has just learning/ed it, and he would
have commented if he'd seen Sakura perform it, I'd think, so it would
have to be something she learned recently.

Perhaps add a side comment of Sakura feeling proud that she'd figured
out that trick on her own, even though it was simpler than her
self-taught genjutsu, or something like that?

Aside from being a guilty thrill, it forced her to push her skills 
daily. She thought she was getting pretty good at sneaking around, even 
if she felt no closer to finding a true counter to the Shintenshin. It 
also served as a good exercise in spotting and avoiding potential 
threats, since there were a lot of ninja in the village as well. She 
hadn't been caught yet, as far as she knew, but she wasn't _really_ 
doing anything wrong- right? As long as she didn't run into any psycho 
foreign nins (and she was _extra_ careful to watch out for them) where 
was the harm?

Too bad she isn't looking out for psycho _domestic_ nins... :)

Captor and captive alike directed their attention to the rear door, 
where Yamanaka Inoshi was standing, wearing overalls muddied to the 
knees and carrying a planter tray of somewhat soggy-looking seedlings. 

Should be Yamanaka Inoichi.

"Ino said something strange happened that time, like she was ambushed by 
another Sakura inside Sakura's mind," the handsome ninja agreed. Then 
his expression changed to one of disbelief. "Are you suggesting that 
she's not our Sakura-chan?"

*YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT?*

*OF COURSE I TOLD HIM! IT WAS FREAKY AND WEIRD!*

Hee.


-- Aaron Nowack "Never let reality get in the way of a good hypothesis." http://www.mimiru.net/ .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----. | Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com | | Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com | | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject | `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'