With the tempban now gone, here's some C+C for the list while the exact 
details of the changes are worked out.

Hmm. Only saw the first the season of this, but it was enjoyable.


 >The Wild, Wild East centers on Tina Foster, the child with a home but no
 >real country.

Ah, cool. Liked her.

 >
 >The Wild, Wild East
 >By G.L. Sandborn
 >
 >
 >1   New Zoo Review

Coming right at you.

 >     "Come on, you fool!"

Hmm. That could apply to anyone  in the series, really. Some more than
others.

 >     The early summer heat made running in a full suit feel like 
exercising
in a sauna.  Sweat ran down his face and soaked his formerly freshly
laundered white shirt.  Besides worrying about getting killed by their
pursuers, he also wondered how he was going to pay for cleaning his soaked
clothes.

Some people and their  priorities.

 >     Steve just nodded, glancing about for any sign of danger.  When he
noticed a couple of the other passengers eying them, he tried to smile and
nod their way.  That only led to quizzical expressions before they abruptly
returned the nod and looked away again.  He really couldn't blame them.  His
partner looked angry and a tall angry black man on a crowded subway train
was sure to create no small degree of apprehension among the Japanese
passengers.

Might  make them close the country off from those damn giajin again.

 >     He turned back to his partner, who was now trying to act nonchalant.

Just being a foreigner makes him er, chalant.

 "How come the Ko...," he paused to consider his words carefully.  There was
no telling who was listening.  "How come those guys always seem to know
where we are?"

Steve: Hmm. could be the homing transmitter they gave me. I have it in my
pocket. I thought it would be rude to just throw it  away, since it looks
expensive. I try to be thoughtful, even to people trying to kill me.

 >     Steve sniffed and tried to rub his nose.  The press of commuters
around him made even that act difficult.  How did he get himself in such a
situation?  This wasn't what they told him in training it would be like.
Besides, he wasn't an A Team operative.

I don't think Hannable, Murdoch, Face, or BA were all that great. I wouldn't
want to work with them, that's for sure.

 >     Maybe it had something to do with that 'thing' they were able to get
from the enemy hideout.  Instinctively, he felt the spot on his suit that
covered the tiny three inch long device that looked like a common USB flash
memory drive.  What it really was caused him to shiver.

How secretive.

 >     "I just wish I knew why I can't contact headquarters," his partner
said.  "For some reason, my radio isn't working and every time I try to use
a phone, the line goes dead."

Only theirs? That seems peculiar

 >     Trees?  Trees in the Tokyo area usually meant a park of some sort.
Why would he want to go there?

Need to piddle on a tree to mark their territory?

 >     He was so intent on keeping an eye on their pursuers, he almost 
missed
his partner's sudden dash across another street.  With a panicked feeling of
being abandoned, he quickly followed his long-legged companion.  To the
sound of blaring horns and the squeal of tires, he barely avoided being run
over.  Scrambling frantically, he gained the far sidewalk without further
mishap only to be stopped by a tall fence.

I am kind of curious as to why you're not naming Steve's partner. You're
going out of your way to do it.

 >     "Who puts up an eight foot fence in Japan?"

% A guy wanting to keep short people out

 >     "Maybe they want to keep basketball players out," his partner 
growled.
 >"Just keep going."
 >     Steve did just that.

Two 'justs' close together. Would switch thesecond

 >     He almost collided with his partner when the man suddenly stopped
partway
 >down the block.  Frowning at the man for a brief moment before following
his gaze to see why.  They had found a gate but it was locked with a sign on
it that read:  Zoo Property.  Keep Out, Please."

Ah, hence we have the title to this piece. I'd wager they ditch the item
there

 >     "Hell, No!"  His partner whipped out his automatic pistol with its
heavily modified silencer.

I'd hope it was  modified.

  "We need cover."  The man took aim at the lock.  "DAMN!  And I wore my
best suit today."
 >     Three shots sounding like someone hammering small tin can and the 
lock
was history.  Kicking open the gate, he grabbed Steve his

Steve by his

 sweaty collar and shoved him through.
 >     Steve stumbled a few steps before he beginning

he began

 to run again, negotiating a worn concrete path that had all the charm of a
depression era country road.

But will it  take  him to West virginia and his mountain momma?

 >suspended from a large construction crane.  The zoo people were either
airing it out or preparing to load it into a poo removal truck.

Er, yeah. How convienent

 >     Bullets ripped the air above his head, reminding him of their 
pursuit.
Their adversaries were closing in; firing heavily silenced automatic weapons
that sounded no louder than electric typewriters as they spit dozens of
rounds his way.

They kept semi-autmatics tucked in their outfits? Risky since they're
larger and more indiscriminate. They don't want to draw attention to
themselevs.

 >     "Find a way out," his partner called, smoothly inserting a fresh
magazine

yay! Someone actually called it a magazine instead of a clip.

the winch mechanism.  With a loud 'crack', six tons of animal waste came
hurtling earthward, directly towards his partner.

% Whoops

 >     The firing slacked

slackened

poured gasoline from countless holes.  Almost without aiming, he returned
fire as best he could but that did little more than remind his assailants
where he was.  He needed help.  No, he needed a miracle.

And instead he gets...

 >
 >
 >     Tina Foster

Poor bastard. Maybe she can drink his foes under the table

 >     It was hard enough being the only woman zoo keeper in the Japanese
zoo, all the other women guided tours, worked concessions or sold tickets.

Probably hit on mercliessly then

 >     It wasn't easy to ignore them.  Every nasty insinuation burned inside
her.  She couldn't respond openly.  That would only lead to trouble.
Besides, she needed this job, if only for her own self esteem.  As a Western
graduate of a Japanese university, her career choices were limited in Japan.
Not as bad as those of her Japanese female classmates.  Their futures all
seemed to be headed for marriage to a workaholic husband, producing a litter
of children, and then spending their lives cooped up in a small apartment
cooking, cleaning, and raising those children.  She shuddered thinking of
such a claustrophobic life.

LIke the one Ai wants? Or did her desires change between seasons?

\weren't jobs for her.  She wanted more.  She wanted the outdoors and
excitement.

And she's about to get tons of both

 >     Of course, her supervisor was the king of sexist pigs, always
suggesting she should be looking for a husband instead of scrubbing hippo
excrement off the side of their pool.

Actually I'm a guy and if that was happening to me, I ,might look for a
husband too

 >     Kaoru.  She smiled at the thought of the only guy in Japan that 
seemed
to
 >need her as much as he appeared to like her.  When they were alone
together, she could almost feel a spark of something wonderful between them.
Why he refused to respond the way she wanted was a mystery to her.  Perhaps
he was distracted by school or maybe just reluctant to commit.  That had to
be it.  He was just scared of commitment.  Given time, he was certain to
eventually come around and return the love she felt for him.  It was all
just a matter of time.

Oh, was she that oblivious of things between him and Aoi? Even with their
weak hiding, I thought she  knew


 >     Stepping into the clearing, she froze.  The large stinking mound of
manure was not on the crane where it was supposed to be.  For some reason,
it was on the ground.  Worse yet, there was a human leg sticking out from
underneath it.

I think I'd just write him off. There are some things not worth saving
people over

 >     "It appears to be a member of this zoological collective."

I wonder if hardline reds would actually refer to it as a 'zoological
collective'

 >     "Not necessarily.  She could be Canadian."

Even more valid then

 >     Tina began to slowly inch her way back towards the gate.  "So, ya
hosers
 >take your time, eh?" she called trying her best Canadian accent.  It 
didn't
sound very convincing to her considering her glaring Texas accent.

Candaian Texans are as common as gaijin that have Kansai accents.

 >     "I watched 'Strange Brew' last night on the television."

Amen

 >     "That is unacceptable!  You are NOT permitted to watch capitalist
running
 >dog propaganda while in this country!"  The angry retort was followed by
two
 >gunshots and the groan of a dying man.  "It was a lousy movie, anyway."

It was a classic, friggen pinko.

 >     There was a long pause as Tina continued to inch her way back towards
the
 >gate.
 >     "How about Takeshi's Castle?" came another voice.

Don't know that one

 >     Three more gunshots rang out.

Heh. But I catch your drift

 >     "Because you were in the way," he growled.  It looked to her like he
was about to cry.

Or pass out from blood loss

 >     "This gun is the only thing between you and those killers over 
there!"
 >     "Who asked you to get between me and them?  I was doing just fine
before you showed up!" she screamed.

Well, following most entertainment movie convention, these are a destined
pair.

 >     She began pounding on his back with both fists, her bare legs kicking
up a storm of leaves.  "Get off me, you pervert!"

Typical female.

 >     "Why is there never anyone around when you need them,"


them?

 >     She froze when her eyes caught on his bloody sleeve.  "Oh, that's
right, you're hurt," she gasped.  Tearing herself from the sight of blood
dripping down his hand, she turned towards a particular corner of the room.
"We've got a first aide

first-aid I think

 >     "Which government?"

good question in a foreign country.

 >     "OUR government."
 >     She eyed him suspiciously.  Of all the 'come on' lines she had heard
over the years, this was the lamest.  "Right.  You got any identification?"

Heh

 >     "A cover name," he said tiredly.
 >     "And the picture, it doesn't even look like you."
 >     "It's a disguise."
 >     "I mean, what's the point of a photo ID if it doesn't look like you?"

good point

 >     "You work in a dump?" she asked incredulously.
 >     "Look, my boss can pass for Wilford Brimley,

Does that mean he can pass for  Fred Ward?

 >     "You'll get used to it  partner."

it, partner

 >     Tina groaned.  "What have I gotten myself into now?"

a story with multiplechapters, that's what

Great work. Nice opening, HAd to open that way, and I had faith  in you, so
introducing new characters and not the anime ones work. You'd be  surprised
at how many new characters a story opens up with stink. Thinly veiled Mary
Sues and whatnot

Humor was good, so was the action. Enjoyed everything. Will get to the redst
of the chapters eventually

DB Sommer>
 >

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