Okay, I need to actually watch this series... more than five episodes
this time. For real. The concept behind this is worth a few good chuckles
(at least I have some idea what the series is about).

Oh, and double bonus points for the dialog, which was very well done.

Onward with the comments!

<snip> 

"The latest forced revelation operation failed...as usual," Ran
scowled.

Ran: Darn that little brat, and his dog, too!

"Agasa-hakase got the drop on us again. We need to be more careful,
guys. I
think they're starting to catch on. If Shinichi figures it out, we'll
ALL be
in trouble."

As in Shinichi will be upset at them? Or as in his secret identity being
public knowledge will force the hand of his assailants?

"Che," her father snorted. "Like that punk can do anything to us the
way he
is..."

"Oh, really?" This came from a refined, cultured voice in the corner,
tinged
with amusement. "You seem to have forgotten the incident with the
brick,

Mouri: (jumps onto a desk in fright) No! Not the brick! WHERE? WHERE?!!

Mouri-san. How many bones in that killer's hand did he shatter? And do
you
really want to think about what would happen if he aimed a kick like
that at
your...shall we say, personal valuables?"

Kogoro turned an odd pale green colour and fell silent.

"Mou, Shiratori," Satou Miwako admonished, though she was chuckling
slightly. "We don't really need to get into another round of examples
of
Reasons To Avoid Pissing Kudou-kun Off. We go over that every other
time we
do this."

Here's a key "I'm lost" point. Who is Kudou?

"True enough, Satou-san. I digress."

Megure coughed. "I believe Ran-kun still has the floor. You were
saying?"

"Hai. It's becoming harder and harder to fake being tricked, and the
schemes
Shinichi and hakase come up with are getting more and more ridiculous.
And
that's not even counting that idiot Kaitou Kid butting in."

Now there's superheroes involved?!

K.K.: (Ultraman costume) Kaito Kid, AWAY!

"Do we have ANY new clues as to why he's involved in this at all?"
Megure
asked.

"None, keibu-dono," Takagi replied. "The best guess we've been able to
come
up with is that he's doing it because he knows it annoys Kudou-san."

"That certainly fits what we know about him," Megure agreed, rubbing
his
chin thoughtfully. "What bothers me is that we're never able to
outright
expose Kid as a fake when he's disguised as Kudou-kun."

... I'm really lost now.

K.K.'s secret identity?

"I still think he must look exactly like Shinichi, or close enough, on
his
own," Ran said.

"God, I hope not," another female voice put in airily. "I'd hate to
think
I've spent forever mooning over a clone of Ran-chan's husband."

"SO-NO-KO..."

Before Ran could finish her threat, a short man in a white uniform dashed
into the room and deposited a small frozen treat in her hands, then
dashed out without a single word.

Ran: (looking at the treat) Sno-cone?

*whistles innocently*

"AHEM!" Megure glowered at the wealthy airhead. "Sonoko-kun, PLEASE
refrain
from making those comments during these meetings, or I shall be forced
to
prevent you from further attendance."

"Hai, hai!" Sonoko said, smiling and raising her hands in a gesture of
mock
surrender.

"Do we have any new information on Subjects Black One and Black Two?"

"Actually, yes. We recently learned that Black One owns a fairly rare
classic car. I've placed photographs of the vehicle in the official
folder.
However, he and Black Two have been keeping rather well out of sight
recently. We think they might have realised someone is watching them."

"Hmm. That's not good. Especially since we can't get any cooperation
from
those FBI agents or Yusaku-san's Interpol contacts. Nobody who actually
knows anything is willing to tell US anything..." Megure grumbled in
irritation.

"Is it really that surprising?" the crisp, calm voice of Kisaki Eri
asked.
One slim eyebrow arched, she stood, arms folded. "If too many people
get too
curious about these men, they'll disappear completely. If that happens,
it's
possible Shinichi-kun will never be able to return to normal and seek
justice against them. I can hardly blame Yusaku-san and Yukiko-chan for
being skittish."

Now this makes sense.

"I don't know," Kogoro rumbled. "If it were Ran, I'd want every police
officer in Japan and probably the entire JSDF hunting those bastards
down."

What? These aren't the Goons we're talking about, are they?

"Yes, but you're an idiot with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer
cracking
an egg, dear husband."

Something about the flow of sentence seems off. Perhaps say "an idiot who
has" instead of "an idiot with all"

"It's not like Kudou-senpai's being very subtle himself," a younger
voice
piped up. Everyone glanced at Mitsuhiko, who shuffled nervously before
continuing, "I mean, it only took *us* a month to figure it out, and we
didn't even know who Kudou Shinichi *was*."

What... what... WHAT? Who is he?!

"True, but he's handling his enemies with far more tact than he's
handled
his friends and his secret," Eri replied. "Which, all things
considered, is
a good thing."

"Ano...do we have any new information on Haibara-san?" Mitsuhiko asked,
flushing slightly.

Satou couldn't hide a smile as she replied, "We actually did find a DNA
profile match. There's a 99% probability she's related to the deceased
female member of that gang from the billion yen robbery. Unfortunately,
we
can't find any records for either that aren't complete forgeries."

Maybe... she likes her privacy?

"Can we even be sure that girl's like Kudou?" Kogoro asked. "She could
just
be a really weird creepy little girl."

"No...she's involved too deeply in Shinichi's mess to be normal in any
way,"
Ran replied.

Now, here I'm too clueless to really catch the implications of what Ran's
saying.

"Besides, her lab has lots of clear signs she's trying to make a cure
for
Kudou-senpai, and using her own blood for it, and hakase is NOT helping
her," Mitsuhiko added.

"You've been inside her lab?" Ran asked sharply.

"Un. I kinda snuck in..." Mitsuhiko flushed.

<flashback>
Mitsuhiko: (horrible disguise) Uh, pizza delivery boy!
</flashback>

Megure turned his full attention to the boy. "Did you find out anything
else
useful when you were in there?"

"Well, I think I found the name of the drug that shrank Kudou-senpai
and
Haibara-san," the thin boy replied hesitantly. "The name
'Apoptoxin-4869'
was all over all her notes."

"4869...that's the same as the passcode for Shinichi's mobile," Ran
mused.

4869 = Shinichi?

Shiratori snickered. "No surprise. 'Sherlock'..."

Megure groaned. "I thought that old number game went out of fashion
when I
was still a rookie."

"I'd like to make a proposal," Ran suddenly spoke up.

"What is it, Ran-kun?"

"I think we should bring Toyama Kazuha into the fold." She fidgeted.
"Hattori Heiji, we know, is in on Shinichi's secret. And he does a
really,
really terrible job of covering up for it. I think...if Hattori-kun has
anything really incriminating lying around that we can use to force
Shinichi
to drop the act, or any information about the enemy or Ai-chan..."

Now, that's just silly. We all know that real crimes are solved by
untrained children making random guessed based on nursery rhymes. Police
officers just shout stuff like 'freeze' and 'book him.' They don't
actually solve crimes!

Would Hollywood lie to me?!

"Kazuha-chan would be the best way to get at it, since she's his
girlfriend,
right?" Satou finished. "Not a bad idea, if a little dirty and
underhanded."

"Like 'Edogawa Conan' isn't a dirty, underhanded little lying sneak?"
Ran
retorted archly.

Conan: (thinking) I can't reveal myself to Ran... she's gonna be sooo
pissed at me for lying to her for two hundred episodes... I'm better off
facing the evil gang of international criminals as a kid with no backup.

"Oh hell, here she goes again," Genta groaned.

"Hush!" Ayumi chided. "Ran-neechan has every right to be mad at
Conan-kun!
It's so mean of him to make her so worried..."

The door suddenly burst open. "MEGURE-KEIBU!" an officer bellowed.

Megure lept to his feet, shouting, "KANEDA!"

Someone yelled, "TATSUO!" in the back, but he was quickly beat down.

"This is a closed conference! You know better than to come in here!"
Megure
roared.

"There's been a murder!"

"When ISN'T there a murder?" Genta commented in a stage whisper.

Between the closing credits and the ending credits. I thought that was
obvious.

"Shush!"

Megure sighed. "Let me guess. It was called in by..."

"Edogawa Conan-kun, hai."

Megure: Amazing! He can tell the difference between dead people... and
living ones!

Ran: Yeah, it's cool until he starts doing scenes from 'The Sixth Sense.'

"Alright everyone...that's a wrap for today. Usual dispersal patterns
on
exit, just in case Kudou-kun or the enemy have someone watching the
building. Everybody who needs to be on the scene, game faces on.
Everybody
else, usual assignments until next time. Meeting adjourned."

Thus did eleven people--only five of them actual police
officers--disperse
from the secured police conference room, each hoping that by the time
two
weeks had passed again, the next meeting would no longer be
necessary...

...and, as usual, all of them prayed it would be for the right reasons.

***fin***

<snip>

Aww... kinda sweet at the end.

So... yeah, good. Very good. Enough to inspire me to think seriously of
maybe considering watching some of the series some day.

Later,
Rick Spiff

FFML Member since 2000 A.D.
Who's sounding especially dim today.

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