GL Sandborn wrote:

Two weeks on the road and I return to...  Well, you people have
certainly been busy.  Did I miss the annual 'Navel-Gazing Festival'?  
While I'm catching up
on over two hundred FFML messages, chew on the next installment of WWE.

(Krista?  Elsa?  Barba?  What brought all this on?   And what did
you people do to DB?  Am I going to have to dig for his body again?)

	Jawhol, Herr Doktor -- I haff preepared Castle Fronkenshteen for your 
arrival vith zee corpse.  Gott villing, ziz attempt vill be more 
successful zan our previous endevours vit zee Kenko-author, or zee 
Harnum-author, or zee Doenime-author....

                     The Wild, Wild East
                  Chapter 4 - The Honeymooners

	"One of these days -- TO THE MOON, TINA!!!  Bang!  Pow!  Right in the 
kisser!"
	(with apologies to Jackie Gleason for the misquote)

                         by GL Sandborn



     Miyabi Kagurazaki descended the stairs from her office with
an air of someone full of bad news.  She had been on the phone
almost all day with the police, assorted confidants, and most
importantly the Sakuraba household.  Despite her pleas, she had
come away with nothing positive to report.

	Except that she just saved a bundle on her car insurance by switching 
to Geico.jp.

     Kaoru and Aoi were waiting for her in the living room.  They
didn't look any happier than she felt.
     With a heavy heart, Miyabi stopped in front of them.  "I am
very sorry, Lady Aoi," she said with a formal bow.  "I was unable
to persuade the police that Miss Tina's disappearance is anything
more than a minor gaijin incident.  They are say they are
handling it the same as any other missing gaijin."

	"I will prepare myself for seppuku immediately."

     Aoi's chin dropped slightly even though her expression
remained the same.  "I see."
     "Then, the police are not looking for Tina?" Kaoru asked,
his voice trembling with apprehension.
     "That is not what I said," Miyabi replied, her forcefulness
reflecting her own frustration at being unable to discover any
solid information about their most troublesome boarder.  "They
are looking as we speak."

	Just not very hard.

     "There must be something we can do," Aoi said in her usual
soft voice.  While the girl's assertion sounded delicate, Miyabi
could sense a hidden strength behind the words.  It was something
that almost made her smile since she had been the one who trained

	Sug:  "even under these circumstances, it was almost enough to make her 
smile."

Aoi.  She knew well how the women of the Sakuraba family were the
glue that held the clan together.  Tina's disappearance
threatened her development, possibly harming the girl's future
happiness and value to the Sakuraba clan.

	Hah.  Tina's disappearance threatens Aoi's *family* -- not the 
Sakuraba, but the little atypical family that she's built here herself. 
  And you know what they say about the female being the deadliest of the 
species...
	I think we may be about to see what happens when Aoia gets motivated 
enough to move into an offsensive posture, as opposed to her normal 
defensive stance.  Should be a treat.

     But Miyabi could also see Aoi's eyes a degree of anxiety
over her missing friend.  All the more reason to choose her words
carefully.  What she had learned from people she knew in the
investigation field; private detectives, security people, and
former members of Japan's intelligence community, was
particularly disturbing.  They all agreed on the same thing; if

	Sug:  "...field --private investigators, security people... community-- 
was disturbing.  ...thing: if..."
	Of course, the Illuminati, the Ordus Dei, her old lover at GRU HQ, and 
the Lensmen haven't returned her calls yet.  So there's still hope.

the men who abducted her were themselves gaijin, Tina Foster was
probably already dead.  There was no way she was going to tell
Aoi or Kaoru THAT.

	At least, not before she could dig up her old Class III body armor and 
a two-meter electric cattle prod.

     "I believe there is something else going on that is not
readily apparent.  My contacts hinted that the police have been
warned off by the Jouhou Honbu, the Defense Intelligence Office
of the Japan Self Defense Force," she admitted, choosing her

	What, she doesn't have Tiger Tanaka on speedial?  Miyabi, I'm 
disappointed in you.  :)

words carefully.  "While their duty compels them to investigate,
the police appear to be avoiding certain avenues of inquiry."

	Ah, yes -- "work to rule."  Japanese cops are unionized, eh?  Who knew?

     Kaoru seemed to wilt with information, his shoulders sagging

	Sug:  "with the/this information"

beneath an ashen expression.  Miyabi couldn't help but feel sorry

	Sug:  "beneath a face gone ashen"

for him.  Tina was a special part of his life, the only person
who befriended him during those dark days when he was alone in

	Sug:  "who had befriended" -- gotta remember that Miyabi.diction.  :)

Tokyo.  Sure, she was annoying, brash, and quite unconventional

	Maybe a comma after "unconventional"

but there was a quality about her that made her likable.  If

	<supressing hentai comments>

nothing else, Kaoru had just lost his best friend, possibly his
only friend outside of Aoi and the others in their impromptu
family.
     "I also tried to enlist the help of the Sakuraba group to
find Miss Tina."  Miyabi grimaced slightly when she thought of
the bitter exchange she had with Mr. Sakuraba's personal

	"she had had"

secretary.  The man was a pompous ass.  "I was told it is the
decision of the Sakuraba Group that we are not to involve
ourselves in any way in further investigations into Miss Tina's
disappearance."

	Oh, Aoi is NOT going to take this well.  Or lying down, for that 
matter.  I think we're about to see a confrontation within the Sakuraba 
power structure.

     "Why?" Kaoru growled, his eyes hidden as he faced the floor.
     "The men who abducted Miss Tina and the man that Tina
brought home with her are most likely involved in something
illegal.  Any mention of the Sakuraba Group or the Sakuraba
family in connection with their activities could easily become a
major scandal, possibly large enough to send shock waves through
our entire corporate structure and threaten Lady Aoi's family
control of the group.  So far, our involvement has been only
superficial."

	"Superficial."  Yeah, say that to a girl who's just had one of her 
'kids' go missing (and if there's not a certain degree of "Mother" in 
Aoi's relationships with most of the rest of this little crew, I'll eat 
my hat).
	Aoi's being very quiet so far.  Why does that *worry* me...?

     Biting her tongue, she fought the urge to describe the
acrimonious exchange she had that revealed the secretary's
obvious xenophobia about Aoi's American friend.  He insisted

	Miyabi feeling a real desire to say "I tried!  I really DID!"  Heh. 
She's not such a heartless ice queen as she'd like us all to believe.

that, as far as the Sakuraba Group was concerned, Tina Foster was
a disposable gaijin who would mean nothing but trouble should
they take a hand in trying to find her.  Much to Miyabi's
displeasure, she failed to get confirmation that this was the
opinion of the Sakuraba family as well.  She hoped it wasn't an

	Yeah.  Did these orders come down from the King, or just the Grand 
Vizier (so to speak)?  Of course, there just happens to be one person in 
the room with a direct line to the King's ear...

indication of what they thought of Kaoru and the kinds of people
he seemed to attract.  That was especially unfair.  In the short
time she had known them, she had seen qualities in each that were
quite admirable.

	What, even those hentai in the photography club?

     "Tina will be all right," Aoi said to no one in particular.
It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than
anyone else.  "She always comes back.  I believe this time will
be no exception."

	Yeah.  Tina's Halo Online handle is "Bad Penny," after all.

     Without waiting for a response, Aoi purposefully turned away
and disappeared into the kitchen.
     "Sir Kaoru?" Miyabi asked, when she saw his expression as he
watched Aoi leave.  She couldn't be sure, but he had the wounded
look of a man about to do something rash.

	Something he has a track record in.

     "I am not a Sakuraba," he said.  "Therefore, I am not bound
by the decision of the group."

	Yipe.  Be CAREFUL how you use that gun, K -- it could ricochet on you BAD.
	...oh, who am I kidding?  This is *Kaorou* we're talking about -- risk 
to himself never enters into his tactical equations.

     "Please, Sir Kaoru.  I implore you, do not take matters into
your own hands."  Miyabi wanted to reach out and comfort the
young man but knew if she tried, his state of mind right now
would reject such a gesture.  "Please..."  She couldn't continue.
Words which had always been readily available to her, vanished
when his eyes met hers.  His obvious seething anger could only
mean he was ready to storm out and search for Tina on his own.
     "Tina always looked after me," he said, his voice beginning
to tremble again.  "I can't just sit here and do nothing."
     "That may be, but if your actions now are imprudent, you
might very well find yourself on the outside of the Sakuraba
family."  She paused to gauge his reaction.  He didn't appear any
less determined but the mention of Aoi's family seemed to hold
him there, for now.  "You have worked so hard to win their
respect.  A reckless act now would destroy everything you have
worked for.  You could lose Aoi forever."  She hated herself for
using Lady Aoi this way but she needed him to appear calm,
thoughtful, and emotionally strong; everything he was not
displaying at the moment.

	"...strong -- everything..."
	Yeah, your Miyabi comes across very well here.

     Kaoru trembled as his fists clenched and unclenched by his
side.  "What is it you would have me do?" he asked, his voice
surprisingly controlled, despite his outward appearance.

	Maybe just a bit too yielding on K's part, to my ear.  Maybe "What do 
you suggest/recommend, then?" as an alternative.  Just so he doesnt' 
seem to be giving in quite so quickly.

     "Right now, Lady Aoi needs you.  She needs you here to
reassure her.  If you were to go out on your own and disappear as
well..."  She gave up pondering the unthinkable.

	Sug:  "Her mind veered away from the the thought," or something.

     Kaoru considered her words for a few moments, his eyes never
leaving the floor.  As the clock on the wall seemed to tick
louder in the silent mansion, he slowly nodded and turned towards
the side door that led to the servants' quarters.  "I better be
getting back to my room.  It's almost ten o'clock," he said, just
loud enough for her to hear.
     "I think..."  Miyabi hesitated, quickly calculating how her
next suggestion might be received by both Kaoru and the Sakuraba
family.  "Under the circumstances, I think it would be best if
you stayed in the mansion tonight," she said.  When he stopped

	"Purely for security reasons."
	

and looked at her over his shoulder, she tried a gentle smile.
"Lady Aoi will sleep better knowing there is a man in the house
to protect her - and so will I."

	<snarf!>  Yaright.  Me, I'd sleep better knowing *Miyabi* was in the 
house -- no offense to K, but she's got the training.
	Still, you can't get to Miyabi's position w/o at least *some* skill at 
diplomacy.  K will no doubt see right through her, but let it go out of 
appreciation for the gesture.

     Kaoru stood silent for several long seconds, as if her
suggestion had merit.  "I'll just get my things," he said, before
starting for the door again.

*****

     Tina woke with a start to the sound of train brakes.  She
barely remembered getting on the subway, much less the train.
The grueling walk to the subway was unforgettable but what came
after was a blank.  It was little wonder since she fell asleep
soon after boarding the subway car.  How she got on the train was
anyone's guess.
     Rubbing her eyes, she abruptly stopped and slowly took in
her surroundings.  There were only a few other passengers and
most of them were probably drunk salarymen going home or people
trying not to notice she was currently laying in a very un-Japanese
position; stretched out in the seats, her head in
Steven's lap.

	Yeah, the drunk salarymen were just ogling.
	Oh, yeah:  "position:" or maybe just "position,"

     When she tried to move, every limb protested.  Even her
knees and hips ached from having been hung upside down.

	Yep, it'll be a while before she tries that set of bondage exercises 
from the Kama Sutra again.

Whimpering softly, she tried to make her ankles work.
     "Your timing is perfect," Steven said, quickly checking each
remaining passenger in the car.
     Sitting up with Steven's help, she groaned and tottered in
the seat.  "How long have I been asleep?  Where are we?  What
time is it?"
     "A little over an hour, Mienaku-Naru, ten-thirty," he
replied, checking the station platform.

	Heh.

     "I feel like I've been run over by a truck," she said,
testing her arms.  She flinched whenever a particularly bad jolt
of pain came from a stiff joint.

	With vanity plates that read "GSNBRN," yeah.  :)

     Steven got out of his seat and held out a hand to help her.
"Understandable, considering what you've been through.  Can you
walk?"
     "I better try," she said, grimacing as she unfolded her
legs.  "Otherwise, you'll try to carry me again."

	I dunno, I don't recall ever seeing 007 carrying a disabled BondGirl 
around.  Carrying them to *bed,* yeah, but not outside of that milieu.

     "I doubt my arm could carry you very far," he said, flexing
his still-wounded left arm.
     "I'm NOT fat," she growled, remembering how hard it was for
her to convince herself of that the last time she and a scale had
their weekly meeting.

	She certainly doesn't *look* fat.  Except maybe in just the right 
placeOW!!!  Darn it, Tina, that was a COMPLIMENT!

     "Agreed.  However, the question isn't your weight but the
strength of my bad arm."
     "Oh.  Where are we going?" she asked, trying a few
experimental steps.  Pain shot up from her ankles directly into
her hips, causing her to grunt and grab for a seat back.
Steven's arm went around her waist.  She froze, unsure whether to
slap him for being so familiar or thank him for helping her.

	Slapping him would hurt too much.  Just give in to the authorial Love 
Train gracefully, Tina.  :)

     The pain in her hips intensified at her awkward position,
making the decision for her.  She sagged against his body,
allowing her head to roll onto his shoulder.  It wasn't Kaoru's
shoulder but it was available and not totally repulsive.

	My my, what a compliment.

     "The Mikomi Inn is only a few blocks from here," Steven
said, helping her take a few more steps towards the exit.  "I
called ahead and they're expecting us.  Can you make it?"
     She tilted her head enough to look up into his face.  "Just
so long as you don't stop anywhere along the way."

	"Not even for beer?"
	"Um... weelllllll...."

     "Good idea.  If you keep moving, you won't tighten up," he
said as they reached the exit.  "Don't worry about how this
looks.  Anyone who cares probably thinks you just had a little
too much to drink in Tokyo."

	Which is entirely true, insofar as it goes.  Tina's probably drunk most 
of Tokyo under the table several times over by this point.

     "Speaking of which, I could use one right now."  She limped
along, still clinging to him.  The more she walked, the easier
walking became.
     "We'll get you in a hot bath at the inn.  That'll help with
the pain.  A little alcohol will probably be okay."  He guided
her off the train platform and onto the street.  Despite her
painful gait, the blocks passed quickly.
     As Steven slid open the inn's door, a plump old lady in a
summer kimono greeted them with a bow.  "Welcome to the Mikomi
Inn," she said, moving out from behind a small counter that
served as the check-in desk.
     "I'm Steven Lawrence," Steven said with as much of a bow as
Tina's weight hanging on him would allow.  "I called earlier."
     "Oh yes, Mr. Lawrence."  The old lady bowed again.  Tina
could see her eyeing their wedding rings.  Apparently, Steven was
right about them making things easier.  "I have your room ready."

	You know, one of those automated-teller love hotels that takes cash 
would probably be more secure -- no memory trail.

She hesitated, like she was noticing Tina's condition for the
first time.  "Is the lady all right?"
     Jeff issued a soft chuckle.  "Yes, she's just a little
shaken up.  We were riding in a friend's car earlier today when
it was hit broadside by another car.  I'm afraid my wife got the
worst of it."
     Tina tried not to frown at Steven's fabrication but had to
admit it sounded plausible.  Her grip tightened on his arm.

	Hey, be glad he didn't go for the "newlyweds and Kama Sutra experiment 
gone wrong" explanation -- I'm sure kanrinin-san would have bought it. 
Heck, if she's been in the hotel business ong enough, she's probably 
*seen* it.  And had to call the paramedics.

     "Perhaps she should see a doctor," the old lady said,
reaching for the phone.
     "We've already been to the hospital," Steven replied,
adjusting Tina's weight in his arms.  "There is nothing more they
can do for her so they released her with instructions she is to

	Sug:  "instructions to take" or "instructions that she is to"

take it easy for a few days.  I think we overdid it a bit getting
here."
     "Oh, yes, I understand completely."  The old lady nodded
with a quiet smile before gesturing towards a hallway.  "This
way, please."
     Steven easily slipped out of his shoes and into the waiting
slippers.  Tina found the effort too much for her, causing Steven
to gently help her make the exchange.
     Tina noticed the old lady's eyes drawn to her bruised
ankles.  "Oh, you poor dear.  I'll make sure the furo is extra
hot.  You know, our mineral water here is known for its
recuperative powers."

	Hot springs and/or baths -- the Japanese cure-all.

     Tina looked down at Steven with a frown.  "If y'all think,
I'm going to let you take my clothes off...," she growled in
English, just loud enough for him to hear.

	Darn it, Tina, not in front of potential witnesses.

     Both glanced at the old lady and noticed her confused
expression.  She probably didn't hear what was said other then
enough to know it wasn't Japanese and it sounded angry.  "She's
just upset with herself for putting you to so much trouble," he
said with a nervous smile.
     "Tell her it is no trouble at all," the old lady replied.
"This way."
     Tina took a couple of abortive steps, her ankles and hips
burning with each until one of her legs completely gave out.
     Not missing a beat, Steven scooped her into his arms and
followed the old lady down the hall.
     Tina gasped and went stiff, her breath caught in her throat.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried not to imagine how this must
look.  All she knew was it felt alien to anything she had ever
experienced.  The man's hands were in places that had never been
touched by anyone but herself; one on her bare thigh and the
other uncomfortably close to her right breast.  "What are you
doing?" she gasped.

	I wonder if that's why, in anime, comatose people are always carried 
piggyback, rather than like this or in a fireman's carry.

     "I promised you earlier that I'd carry you over the
threshold of the inn," he replied as if it were no big deal.
"Just stay in character a little longer."
     She wasn't sure why but the dismissive way he said it kind
of disappointed her.  She had dreamed of being romantically

	<snort>  typical girl.  Freaks out that he might go hentai on her, then 
takes it personally when he doesn't seem tempted.

carried into a bedroom but this situation was decidedly outside
even her nightmares.  A strange man, a remote inn, and a single
room all contributed to goose bumps across her body.  Only
reminding herself that it was all an act prevented her from
bolting from his grasp.  Taking a deep breath, she frowned and
relaxed in his arms, her own arms sliding around his neck.  She
dug one set of fingernails into his flesh as a warning to him not
to take her acting job too seriously.

	<eyeroll>

     As the old woman slid open the door to their room, she
blushed and covered her mouth with a hand.  "These American
customs," she said with a twinkle of mirth in her eyes.  "So
romantic."
     Romance was the last thing on Tina's mind.  Being carried by
someone other than Kaoru into a private room for two, was less
than a dream come true.

	Extraneous comma.

     As Steven turned to enter the room, he cut the corner a
little short.  A shower of stars exploded in Tina's eyes when her
head hit the door frame.  "Ow, you idiot!" she growled, one of
her hands releasing his neck to cover the spot on her head that
was certain to raise into a nasty bump by morning.

	<wince>  Ah, yes -- gotta remind the audience that this is a comedy.

     Steven pulled back from the doorway a little and tried to
enter again.  His aim this time wasn't much better.  One of her
sore ankles wacked into the door the old lady was holding.

	Oh, dear.

     "OW!  What are you trying to do to me?" she snarled.  "PUT
ME DOWN!"
     "I think I can get it this time," he said, turning sideways
to the opening.
     "DOWN-DOWN-DOWN!"

	I can't watch!  <puts hand over eyes... peeks through fingers>

     "Oh, my," she heard the old lady gasp.
     There came a pause before Steven eased Tina back on her
feet.  As her weight settled onto her injured ankles, she yelped
in pain and grabbed on to him for support.  He may be an idiot,

	"might be"

but he was better than falling face first into their room.
     Her frantic clawing at his arms must have looked like she
was trying to start the honeymoon right there in the hall.  She
heard the old lady gasp again and mutter something about checking
on the furo before quickly shuffling back down the hall.

	Dunno, I think obaasama would have seen enough by this point to figure 
out the truth.  But why pass up chance at comedy?

     "Do something," Tina demanded.  It wasn't as if he was being
very helpful.  He made several aborted attempts to find something
to grab on to that wouldn't hurt or offend her further.  When the

	Yeah, why *don't* girls come with handles?  :D

pain in her ankles shot up to her hips, she collapsed against
him.
     She felt herself suddenly spun around until she faced the
room.  His arms went around her waist and she was abruptly
hoisted off the floor.  Carrying her like a rag doll, he paused

	I've actually done this.

before tromping over to a ready futon.  Without a word, he
dropped her.

	But not this.

     Landing face down, her knees absorbing the fall, she slowly
sagged into the futon.  "Ow," she said into the pillow.
     She heard Steven sigh and then head for the door.  "Stay
put.  I've got to pick up something before we can travel again,"
he said.  "I'll be back in an hour."
     Still face down, she held up one hand.  "I'll be right
here," she said.  Hearing the door slide shut, she drew a deep

	Which means she won't.

breath.  "This marriage thing is never going to work."

	<rotfl>

     It was almost exactly an hour when Steven trudged back to
the inn.  Two medium-sized barrel bags full of stuff were draped
over his shoulders.  He found them exactly where he stashed them

	"He'd" or "He had", for both "he"

two weeks ago, up in an old abandoned shrine not far from the
town.
     There was no one at the front desk when he returned.  That
didn't really surprise him.  It was eleven-thirty.  Anyone with
any sense was in bed, which was exactly where he was heading.
     Plodding down the hall, his eyes burning from lack of sleep,
he shrugged the straps on his shoulders into only slightly more
comfortable position.  Just a little further, he thought, and he
could finally take a hot bath and get some sleep.
     Sliding open the door to his room, he was surprised to see
the lights still on.  What that revealed caused him to pause in
the doorway.

	WARNING!  EYEFULL ALARM!  EYEFUL ALARM!!!

     Wearing a yukata provided by the inn, Tina was on her back.
She appeared to have passed out on her futon, her yukata open
just enough to reveal her white nylon panties.  An empty bottle
of sake was still clutched in her hand.  He shook his head.
Well, he did say a little alcohol would probably be okay.  He
just didn't' expect her to drink a whole bottle.

	<Bugs Bunny>  He don't know her very well, do he?

     Stepping into the room, he frowned at another empty bottle
on the floor.  Nudging it with his foot, he sighed like a
frustrated parent.  Well, at least she's getting some sleep.

	Sug:  "she was" -- the rest of the paragraph is more 3rd-person 
narrational than inside-his-head.
	That's one problem with plaintext -- you can't use italics to interject 
internal thoughts into narrational passages w/o using some delimeter 
that always looks a bit clunky.

Considering what she's been through, it was probably for the
best.

	Same here -- "she'd"

     Dropping the two bags on the floor along the wall, he
started to take off his shirt.  Between the day's activity and
the odd position his arms had to take pulling the shirt off over
his head caused his wounded arm to spasm.  He dropped his shirt
and clutched his bicep.  "Damn!" he cursed, a little louder than
he intended.  When he checked to see if his outburst had any
effect on his roommate, he was surprised to see her eyes open and
regarding him in a strange way.  "Sorry.  I didn't mean to wake
you."
     Tina stretched and yawned.  "You okay?"
     "I'm fine," he replied. "My arm still hurts sometimes.  You
did a good job with that bandage you applied."
     "Miss Landlord rebandaged your arm," Tina said, yanking the
bottom of her yukata closed as if she just noticed her exposure.

	Not sure I'd want to see Tina's idea of first aid.  Probably involves 
pouring beer into bullet wounds and turning people into mummies.

     "Well, she did a good job," he acknowledged.  Undoing his
belt, he glanced her way just long enough to notice she had
rolled over and was eyeing him in anticipation.  "What?"
     "Just curious," she said with the kind of expression one
would expect from a woman in a male strip joint.

	<plotz>

     "About?"
     "If you're as good lookin' as those spy fellas in the
movies."  She rose up slightly on her elbows, her hands framing

	"They get paid to look good.  I get paid to get the job done.  Besides, 
I left my makeup people and my post-production editing crew back at 
Langley."

her pretty face.  Her change of position also revealed a quantity
of cleavage.
     Tearing his eyes away from what she had inadvertently
displayed, he tried to push inappropriate thoughts from his mind.
"Those movies are cheap fantasies for men.  They're not real," he
replied, a little more bitterly than he intended.  It wasn't her
fault she had no idea how rotten this business really was. "Did
you get your bath?"
     "Yeah," she said, looking at the floor like she was
thinking.  "Mrs. Otah helped me get in and out.  The water was
wonderful," she said, her words were heavily tinted with her
Hakata accent.

	"her words heavily tinted with..."

     "Otah?"
     "The old lady who runs the place," she said.
     "Oh," was all he could say.  His arm still hurt.  He
probably should get the bottle of pain killer he had him in one
of the bags but a hot bath right now sounded better.

	extra "him"

     "Steven, what do we do now?" she asked, still looking at the
floor.
     He pulled on a yukata that was a size too small and skimmed
off his underwear.  "I still can't contact headquarters.  My
partner was the only one who knew our normal contacts in Japan."
He tied shut the yukata and folded his pants.  "There's an
emergency contact in a small town down along the coast but that
means traveling.  I only have a code name and a shop.  We're not
supposed to use the phone."
     "Steven..."  She looked up at him.
     He could see fear and uncertainty in her emerald green eyes.
It also struck him how pretty she was.  He allowed his eyes to
briefly wander over the rest of her.  Her yukata was still parted
enough to show the promise of her full breasts.  She was slender,
almost athletic, with beautiful long legs.  He had to admit, even
if this wasn't a stupid spy movie, the girl certainly had all the
makings of a co-star.

	Suddenly having "Last Action Hero" flashbacks, here.

     "Don't worry.  We'll do okay."  He wasn't all that sure
himself but it was important to help her keep up her spirits.
She had to be more scared than he, given she knew so little about
what they were up against.

	Wellk, they've broken contact, avoided leaving much of a trail (aside 
from witnesses, but that couldn't be helped), and they're using a cover 
ID that should still be solid.  They should be okay, as long as they're 
careful and take some steps to further muddy the waters.  Like alter 
their rather memorable appearances.  I wonder how Tina would look as a 
brunette?

     Her expression, however, didn't change.  "Where are you
going to sleep?"
     "Over here with the bags," he said, indicating the two
barrel bags he had stashed along the wall.
     "It'll get cold."  She still looked afraid.
     "I'll be fine.  There's an extra comforter here."
     She nibbled on her lower lip, as if trying to make a
decision.  "If you want...  I mean,...  The futon is big enough
for two."  The first hint of blush crossed her cheeks.  "You
gotta promise you won't... you know."

	...good grief, she wants a teddy bear.

     Tempting as the offer was, he surprised himself with his
response.  "No, that wouldn't be a good idea," he said, pangs of
regret stabbing at his resolve.  "Besides, you're hurt.  I
wouldn't want to do something that would hurt you more."  He

	"Uh, I didn't mean it THAT way!"

could see she was blushing furiously now.  Poor kid, she was
probably still a virgin.  He grimaced when it occurred to him how
his answer must have sounded to her.  "I mean, I might roll over
on your ankle or... something.  Look, I'll just go take a quick
bath and try not to wake you when I get back."
     He gathered what he thought he'd need for a bath and started
for the door.
     "Steven?"
     "Yes."
     "Leave the light on."
     With a nod, he slid open the door and stepped into the hall.

	Awww.

     Morning came far too early for Tina.  Sunlight streaming
through the rear window wrapped her in its warmth.  It felt so
good she regretted having to get up.  As usual, she had kicked
all her covers off and was laying on top of a bare futon.
     Stretching, she looked around for Steven.  Unlike a few
nights ago, he was exactly where he said he would be; across the
room, propped up against two green barrel bags and wrapped in the
spare comforter.
     "So, Mr. Secret Agent is asleep.  Maybe, I should wake him
up Tina-style," she thought with a mischievous grin.  That idea

	sounds like a good way to get shot.

quickly dissipated with the memory of Taeko's morning encounter
with a sleeping Steven Hunter.  Better let sleeping agents lie.

	Yes indeed.  Although I'm honestly surprised that *Tina* thought it 
through that far.
	

     Slipping silently out of her futon, she reached for her
clothes.  Wrinkling her nose at the thought of wearing the same
clothes two days in a row, she picked her bra out and started to
remove her yukata.
     Hesitating, she cast a wary eye at her sleeping roommate.
Asleep or not, getting dressed in a room with a strange man gave
her a crazy mixture of excitement and fear.  Still, caution was
the best approach in situations like this.  She turned away and
worked herself into the bra without exposing anything.  Checking
Steven again, she smiled to herself.  Score one for her Japanese
training, she thought.

	Err... huh?

     As she finished dressing, careful to remain covered as much
as possible, there came a scratching at the door.
     "Yes?" she said.
     The door slid open and Mrs. Otah entered, carrying a tray of
food.  "Did you sleep well?" the old woman asked, kneeling down
and placing the tray on the floor.
     "Oh, yes, you have a lovely inn," Tina said, bowing and
folding up her yukata.
     Mrs. Otah eyed the sleeping Steven before casting a curious
look at the futon Tina had used.  Obviously confused, she looked
questioningly at Tina.
     It wasn't hard for Tina to figure out what was bothering the
old lady.  "Oh... uh... allergies," she said.  "He has allergies
that are aggravated by all this clean country air.  The only way
he can sleep sometimes is propped up like that."  She added a
nervous chuckle.  It sounded phoney as a Texas tall tale but it
was all she could think of.  "Besides, he didn't want to do
anything last night.  You know, because of the accident."

	<facepalm>  Should have gone with that *first.*  Oh, Tina...

     "Ah, of course.  I understand.  He's such an understanding
husband."  Mrs. Otah, still on her knees, bowed until her head
almost touched the floor.  "Do you feel better today?"
     The question caught Tina off guard.  Since crawling out of
bed, she hadn't really thought about it.  Her wrists worked well
enough to dress herself and she was standing on her feet with
only a hint of the previous day's pain.  Even the bruises had
faded.  "Yes, now that you mention it, I feel great."
     Mrs. Otah nodded with a big smile.  "The waters here are
amazing.  It does wonders for my arthritis."
     Tina responded with a smile and a nod before another thought
came to her.  "Oh, does this town have a clothing shop?" she
asked.
     "No, I'm afraid we're too small to support something like
that.  However, Kagome is just fifteen minutes away by train and
they have a fine lady's clothing store," Mrs. Otah said.

	Yeah, but that means running into Inu-Yasha...  ;)

     "Good."  Tina smirked at the still sleeping Steven.  "Since
I don't have anything else to wear..."  She paused, thinking of
how careless words might blow her cover.  "Uh... since we forgot
my bag in the car... the car that was hit... last night, I think
Steven owes me some new clothes."
     Smiling behind a wrinkled hand, Mrs. Otah giggled.  "Good
for you.  Get control early and you will have a long and happy
marriage."

	I knew it!  It's a conspiracy!  They're all in it together!  Men of the 
world, BEWARE OF<CONNECTION TERMINATED AT SOURCE>

     Tina was still digesting that last bit of advice when Mrs.
Otah bowed again and quietly left.
     "I'm going to get something out of this trip, maybe even a
new camera," Tina said, eyeing Steven.
     "Don't count on it," Steven said without moving.

	BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!

     "Yeah?  Well, I think... WAITAMINIUTE, you're awake?"  Tina
instinctively clutched the folded yukata to her chest.
     "Ever since you crawled out of your futon," he replied with
a deep breath.  Stretching he regarded her with a satisfied
expression.  "You're pretty good at getting dressed in a coed
environment.  How long did it take you to learn that?"
     "Not long, once I figured out you perverts like to watch
girls getting changed.  In my junior high, we had to change for
PE in our home room.  The girls in the middle and the guys around
the outside facing away.  I learned pretty quick, especially
since the guys were always trying to sneak a peek at the blond
American girl."  Tina crossed her arms and shot Steven a look of
satisfaction.

	Ah, that's what she meant by 'training.'  Still, that sounds like an 
odd setup to find in Japan or America, or almost anywhere that I can 
think of.

     "And you're pretty good at thinking on your feet," he said
sitting up rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  "Are you sure you
haven't done this before?"
     "I don't like lyin' to people, if that's what you mean."
She felt a bit awkward making up a story to tell someone as
trusting and kind as Mrs. Otah.  It wasn't the sort of thing she
wanted to get used to.
     Steven crawled out of his improvised bed, heading for the
tray of food.  "In any case, I don't have any clothes for you in
my bags, so you are correct that we will have to do something to
remedy that."
     Clapping her hands, Tina dropped to her knees next to the
tray.  "You mean it?  I haven't gotten anything new since I was
back home."
     "Where's home?" Steven asked, sitting down across from her.
He carefully tucked his too small yukata to cover anything

	I think that should probably be "too-small" in this usage.

interesting.
     "Well, Mom and Dad now live in California but I was born in
Texas."  She wasn't sure why it felt good telling him this.
Maybe because nobody ever asked her about her life before.  She
warily regarded Steven, watching carefully for his reaction.
     "I thought your accent was familiar.  I'm guessing you're
from Dallas."
     "North Dallas, yeah."  Tina mixed egg in her rice and
eagerly began scooping great mouthfuls with her chopsticks.  "How
'bout you?" she asked around all the rice in her mouth.
     Steven chuckled.  "I'm afraid I don't come from such upscale
surroundings.  Mom and Dad had a little spread out west.  Closest
big city was Amarillo."
     "I was right," she said, gulping down her juice.  "I thought
you were a cowboy."
     "Hardly.  I haven't been there in almost 20 years."
     "Don't your parents miss you?"
     "I don't think so.  They died when I was five."
     Tina froze in mid-bite.  Slowly, she lowered her bowl of
rice.  "Sorry."
     Steven shrugged.  "That's okay.  I've had time to get over
it.  Dad liked to fly.  Had his own plane.  He and Mom went out
one day, going to fly down to Midland.  They never made it."

	<wince>

     Her hands holding the bowl of rice slowly dropped into her
lap, one thumb nervously running back and forth along its rim.
"I guess, I sometimes say stupid things."

	Doesn't really sound like Tina.  Maybe "I guess sometimes I say stupid 
things" or "...stupid things sometimes."

     "Not at all.  You had no way of knowing."
     "It must have been terrible being on your own," she said
before she could stop herself.  Stupid, stupid, stupid, she
thought.
     "It was, at first.  After they died, Grandma took over the
ranch but she couldn't raise a five-year old.  So, she kinda
farmed me out to other relatives."
     A thousand questions and a few self-admonishments roamed
through Tina's mind.  Her hunger now for information on this
strange American exceeded whatever she felt about the food in
front of her.
     "Got to see a lot of America.  Lived in Galveston until I
was nine.  Learned to cut bait for an uncle who ran a charter
fishing business.  When my aunt had another baby, there wasn't
room for me anymore.  So, I got sent to New York where another
aunt taught me proper manners and how to behave in social
settings."  He paused with a slight grimace.  "Boy, talk about
not fitting in.  Never did get used to the big city.

	But he learned how to fake it fairly well, I bet.

     "Anyway, by junior high, I was in California.  That's where
I discovered I picked up languages easily.  Lived in a
neighborhood full of Japanese-Americans.  I was speaking Japanese
before I graduated.

	Hm.  Would it be in-character for him to say "Nisei" (assuming I have 
the right term) rather than "J-A"?

     "By the time I was in high school, I was living in Kahului,
Hawaii.  Had an uncle who managed the airport there.  He taught
me how to fly."
     "Weren't you scared?  I mean, considering..."  Tina grimaced
at her own clumsiness.  She might be more coordinated than Taeko,
but sometimes she could be just as clumsy with her language.
     "A little, at first, but Uncle Rod was pretty cool about it
all.  He knew what happened to my parents and said something
about how you gotta get back on the horse when it throws you.  I
guess he was right.  I got pretty good, too."
     "So, why didn't you stay in Hawaii?  That sounds like a nice
place to live."  Tina congratulated herself for at least saying
something positive this time.
     Steven shrugged.  "Wasn't home.  I didn't belong there.  I
mean, the people were nice enough but I could tell I was still an
outsider.  When I graduated high school, I went back to Texas for
college.  Well, for a little while, anyway.  I discovered that I
no longer belonged there, either.  By then, Grandma wasn't doing
so well.  I guess her age was catching up with her.  So, I turned
the ranch over to a cousin and went to the University of
Colorado.  I have a masters degree in Japanese.  I picked up six
other Asian languages along the way."

	<blink>  Depending on the languages, that's no small feat.  There's a 
*lot* of Asian languages that are so divergent that it would take a 
linguistic historian to tell you how they're related, if at all.

     "Well, that explains why you're in Japan," Tina said, as she
resumed eating.  "What got you doing this job?"
     "Since my only options seemed to be teaching or translating
Anime, I listened to some guy I knew from my classes.  He put me

	"Anime" should probably be uncapped.

in touch with a guy from back East.  Turns out he was some sort
of recruiter.  What he offered didn't sound all that bad, so two
weeks later, signed up and found myself somewhere in Virginia
learning how to be an agent."  He hung his head and picked at his

	Heh.  I've been reading, off and on, a real-life CIA officer's memoirs, 
which don't pull any punches.  His recruiter talked him into going for 
DO rather than DI using classic Tom Sawyer reverse psych.  Steve 
probably got the same whammy.  DO is always short on good manpower, b/c 
the work is harder, more dangerous, less fun, and too many of the 
recruits think they're signing on to be the next Ian Flemming (not 
realizing that Flemming fabricated the Bond novels out of whole cloth).

food.  "Stupid decision, really.  This isn't anything like I
thought it would be."

	Well, heck -- is it ever?

     Tina idly pushed rice around in her bowl as she considered
how tough it must have been for him.  Like her, he was adrift,
searching for somewhere to belong.  The closest place she had
ever felt like she belonged was with Miss Landlord and the
others.  But even that gave her an uneasy sense that she was
missing out on something.

	Really?  Tell me, Tina have you ever considered a career in... 
government service?

     "Tina, I'm sorry I got you into this," he said.  "I'd do
just about anything so you could go home."  He paused to draw a
deep breath.  "I suppose we could separate here and each go a
different direction."
     "I guess.  I could just act like it's a photography trip,
only I don't have a camera... or a tent."  Tina reached up and
lightly rapped her forehead with her fist.  "Heck, I don't even
have enough money to get back to Tokyo, much less find some place
to stay."  She hung her head and shyly looked at Steve.
     He slowly nodded.  "I guess, if we separated, there's no
guarantee the Koreans wouldn't find you again.  They're pretty
determined folks, those Koreans."

	"Dangit, that wasn't a hint that we should stay together, it was a hint 
that you should offer me some money!"

     Tina couldn't argue with that.  Getting captured and hung up
by her ankles once was enough for her.  He'd already rescued her
twice.  Expecting it a third time was probably pushing her luck.

	Nah, the third time will be the trigger that finally gets them to jump 
into bed and <FURTHER COMMENT CENSORED BY PG-13 FILTER>

     They ate in silence for several minutes, all the while, Tina
kept glancing at him.  Sitting in a country inn eating breakfast
together, she wondered if this was what it was like being
married.  All she had were her dreams and stories she'd read but
they were all flowers and romance.  They were nothing like this.

	She just hasn't been reading the right stories.  A couple brought 
together by a mutual struggle against shadowy forces bent on their 
destruction?  Standard trope, all over the place.  But it's generally 
shelved under "adventure fiction," not "Romance."

     Closing her eyes, she tried to put herself into one of her
romance mangas.  She envisioned herself having a leisurely
breakfast with her husband while outside their balcony birds
chirped happily in the blooming cherry trees.  It was perfect.
Well, almost perfect.  There had to be Kaoru beside her,
teasingly feeding her bits of breakfast, between kisses, of
course.
     "You okay?" she heard Steven ask.
     Blinking out of her daydream, she caught his eye and quickly
turned her head, resisting the urge to blush.  "I was thinking,"
she said softly.
     "About?" he prompted, appearing to concentrate on his
breakfast.

	"Because whatever it was, I'd like to know so I can try to have the 
same effect on you."  :)

     "Not important."  It would have been awkward to admit that
while she was sharing a room with one man, she was actually
dreaming about another.  Placing her empty bowl on the tray, she
leaned back on her hands.  "That sure was some fine grub," she
said, more to herself than her roommate.
     "I agree," Steven replied with a deep sigh.  "You know, this
would be a perfect place for a..."  His words trailed off as his
chin dropped.

	"Excuse me, but I need to shoot my mouth off now.  Er, I mean..."

     "For a what?" Tina asked with a sly smile.
     Steven refused to take the bait.  Shaking his head, he
looked away.  "It's not important.  Sorry."
     "Come on," she teased.  "You were going to say something."
She might have dodged his question about her daydream but that
didn't mean she was going to let him get away with his own.

	Double standard, thy name is Tina.

     He glanced her way only for the briefest of moments and
squirmed slightly.  "I was going to say how perfect this place
would be for a... a honeymoon."  He rubbed his eyes like it was
more of an embarrassed gesture than something he needed to do.
     At first, she wasn't sure just how to take his observation.
Sure, it was the same thing she was thinking earlier but that was
with Kaoru.  The fact he was even considering such a thing with
her in the room made her stomach knot.

	Pot, paging kettle.  Pot, paging kettle...

     She rocked forward, her hands coming to rest on her knees.
The phony wedding ring pressed into her finger.  With a satisfied
little smile, she held up her hand to admire how the tiny stone
in its setting sparkled in the room's light.  "Well, I guess we
are married," she said, still admiring her ring.
     "Not really," he added, his head turned away as she spoke.
     "Okay, we're pretend married.  You ever pretend you were
married?"  She regarded him with a demure, almost innocent
expression.
     "No."  He shot a challenging look her way, his eyes meeting
hers.  "Have you?"
     She chuckled.  "Yeah, at a park once.  Kaoru and I..."  She
paused, remembering the bittersweet phony wedding she got herself
caught up in that crazy build-your-own fantasy building.  Looking
at him again, she could tell he had caught her reference to
Kaoru.  Explaining about him right now could be awkward.
"Steven, do you have a girlfriend?"
     That question seemed to stun him.  He blinked at her for a
couple of moments.  "Uh... No.  I really don't want to talk about
it."

	Uh oh.  Something unpleasant, there.

     A moment ago, he was ready to tell her his life story and
now he wouldn't even talk about the girls he knew.  She thought
all guys liked to talk about girls.  "You mean there's nobody
waiting for you back home?"
     Steven sighed and turned away from her.  "No."
     "Well, why not?" she demanded.  "You're a good lookin' guy
and you seem nice enough, although you are a little clumsy at
times.  Anyway, a girl would be lucky if you took an interest in
her."

	...Tina?  Consistency is NOT your strong suit.

     He turned back around a looked directly into her eyes.  "No,
she wouldn't," he snarled.  "I'm a nobody doing a dirty job.  I
don't even know why I'm doing it."  He drew a ragged breath.
"Besides, girls want athletes, doctors, or just about anyone who
has a lot of money and power.  I'm just a nerd who knows a few

	Yipes!  Hit a nerve there.

languages."  He slowly looked away.  "In any case, a girlfriend
would... complicate things," he said.  "You know yourself how
just being around me can be dangerous.  If I had a girlfriend,
the bad guys would probably kidnap her and hang her up by...
her..."  His voice trailed off the same time his shoulders
sagged.  "Sorry.  I shouldn't have said that."
     Tina could only blink at his confession.  Was that how he
saw himself; a nerd with nothing to offer?  She had to admit,
that was unexpected.  She always thought spies were suave and
self-assured macho guys who could vanquish dozens of attackers
and still have enough energy to rescue the beautiful heroine.    But

	Extra spaces.

there was something reassuring about his reaction.  As
much as the stereotypical spy-type guy appealed to her, there was
something comfortable about his vulnerability - and his honesty.

	<kvetch>  I swear, sometimes I think we could solve half of men's 
mainstream psych problems if women would just make up their minds what 
they want from us.
	Of course, I'm sure the women in the audience have an even more 
scathing response regarding men....

There was no doubt he was thinking about her when he talked of a
potential girlfriend?  Could it be that he actually liked her?

	That first line is written like a declaration, but has a ? at the end.

     "Look, we better get going, if we are going to buy you some
clothes," he said, reaching for one of the bags.  "I still have
to find that contact."
     "Right," Tina absently replied, still wrestling with her
feelings.  She kept trying to remind herself that this wasn't
some stupid movie and she still had to see this endeavor through
so she could go home again; back to Kaoru, Miss Landlord, and the
others.  But every time she looked at Steven, she saw a
miserable, lonely, out-of-place person who really needed somebody

	Missing period.

She tried to tell herself that Steven would be okay and would go
back to America when it was all over.  Both of them would have
great stories to tell.  Maybe somebody would write a best seller
about their adventure.  As she began to tidy up the place, she
pondered who would play her in the movie version.

	Given Hollywood's usual penchant for accuracy and detail?  Rosie O'Donnell.

     It took them only a few minutes to pack, neither having much
to say.  Out front, they promised Mrs. Otah they would return
some day and take full advantage of the inn and what the area had
to offer.
     Walking towards the train station, each with a bag over
their shoulders, Tina innocently slipped her hand into his.
     His obvious surprise caused Tina to chuckle.  "Just stay in
character a little longer.  We're almost to the train station,"
she said with a straight face, hoping the director was getting
her good side.

	She's ready for her closeup, Mr. DeMille.


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