The Eternal Lost Lurker wrote:
[General note to FFML: I *did* inadvertently trigger the recent mess on the
FFML, and a lot of good points were made about C&C...and I realise I've been
very tardy in actually reading and commenting on fics, and I apologise, and
will try to make amends in a timely manner. I've just had most of my
attention focused elsewhere recently. ^^;;]
Ah, so you're the culprit. I wondered who smoked out all the old timers.
[ GL paused and looked towards the camera. "Krista's gonna kill me for that
one, isn't she?" ]
Two weeks on the road and I return to... Well, you people have
certainly been busy. Did I miss the annual 'Navel-Gazing Festival'?
No, but you missed a lot of us tying down onna-Ranma and Nabiki and doing
SOMETHING to their navels...
Damn! I always miss all the fun stuff.
"Sir Kaoru?" Miyabi asked, when she saw his expression as he
watched Aoi leave. She couldn't be sure, but he had the wounded
look of a man about to do something rash.
Incidentally, I'm not feeling the Westernised modes of address. Especially
under the circumstances--the story being about rampant Japanese xenophobia
in a staunchy highly-placed Old Japanese Family, NOT seeing honorifics like
"Kaoru-dono" and "Aoi-sama" is VERY jarring.
Jarring, perhaps, but it's true to the Anime canon. I can't recall any
time when Miyabi didn't
address him as 'Sir Kaoru'. I know that's probably a lousy translation
for Western audiences
but I try to hear the characters' voices when I write and a Japanese
honorific wouldn't
sound right.
The only character that uses them is Aoi when addressing Kaoru-sama.
"That may be, but if your actions now are imprudent, you
might very well find yourself on the outside of the Sakuraba
family."
Not that this would actually matter to Kaoru. He's pretty much made his
opinion of the Sakuraba and their ilk CRYSTAL clear...
True but I need a setup for the story climax. Besides, I recall that
while Aoi's father still harbored
some dislike for Kaoru, her mother appeared to understand and seemed to
be the force behind
getting Kaoru an audience in order for him to present his case
personally. Miyabi was the catalyst
for the meeting but Aoi's mother prepared the way.
I'm trying to stay true to an interpretation of the Sakuraba clan. The
women of the clan are the real
power. That's why Miyabi is so careful in preparing Aoi. She wants the
girl to assume that power
and realizes that Kaoru is the key to Aoi's development.
(I admit, this is not explicitly spelled out in the Anime. It's just my
interpretation of various stages of the plot.)
"I think..." Miyabi hesitated, quickly calculating how her
next suggestion might be received by both Kaoru and the Sakuraba
family. "Under the circumstances, I think it would be best if
you stayed in the mansion tonight," she said. When he stopped
and looked at her over his shoulder, she tried a gentle smile.
"Lady Aoi will sleep better knowing there is a man in the house
to protect her - and so will I."
And more to the point, that way she can keep an eye on him and make SURE he
doesn't run off and play hero.
That, too.
Sitting up with Steven's help, she groaned and tottered in
the seat. "How long have I been asleep? Where are we? What
time is it?"
"Are we there yet?"
And why are my panties in your hand?
[ Geez, now you've got ME doing it. ]
"Oh. Where are we going?" she asked, trying a few
experimental steps. Pain shot up from her ankles directly into
her hips, causing her to grunt and grab for a seat back.
"Last time I have sex hanging from the ceiling..."
You're going to make me write a lemon, aren't you?
< big snip >
"Oh," was all he could say. His arm still hurt. He
probably should get the bottle of pain killer he had him in one
of the bags but a hot bath right now sounded better.
That sentence could sound better too:
"His arm still hurt; he knew he should probably take something for the pain,
but a hot bath sounded better."
You may be right. Let me tinker with it a bit.
"Over here with the bags," he said, indicating the two
barrel bags he had stashed along the wall.
Or there.
Actually, he's standing next to them. I better see about making that
more obvious.
< another snip>
Good chapter. Lots of fun character stuff, very well done.
Thanks, Lurk! I appreciate the read and the comments.
================================
Please do not stare at my crotch.
It wasn't me! That was Tina.
~~*~~
The Eternal Lost Lurker
www.lurkerdrome.com
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