--- Sebastian Palm <sebastian.palm@myrealbox.com>
wrote:

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "David Johnston" <rgorman@telusplanet.net>
To: "Dave Wong" <darksoar@yahoo.com>
Cc: <ffml@anifics.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 20, 2006 4:25 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma - Star Wars: Jedi
Academy] [The Jedi of Chaos] 
[Chapter 2]

Dave Wong wrote:

Luke Skywalker, son of Darth Vader, lone Jedi

Master,

Wait...you're saying that Darth Vader is Luke

Skywalker's dad?

Cute.

The door swished closed behind him as Luke walked

out

into the hallway.

Y'know, I can't remember whether Star Wars has

those Star Trek doors.

They do - there's not a single *hinged* door in the
entire sextet, and the 
only slow-opening/closing doors I remember seeing
are the big blast doors on 
the Death Stars. (Close the blast doors! ... Open
the blast doors, open the 
blast doors!)

Sebastion's got it right!

And besides, the source for this scene is the Jedi
Academy game - where they 
most definitely do have such doors.

Too many, in my opinion... hehe

Crimson, in the course of her training, had

solely

focused on the combative aspect of the Dark Side.
Aside from mastering the basic instruction, her

rival

had limited control over manipulating her Force

aura.

Had she been chosen for this mission instead,
Crimson's blazing presence in the Force would've

given

her presence away almost immediately.

I read the prologue when it was first posted a long
long time ago, and 
missed the first chapter, so I didn't remember that
Akane had been named 
outright in an earlier posting. But the name
"Crimson", coupled with Ranma's 
presence, makes it pretty blatant who this is. Not
that it matters a whole 
lot, though.

Would you like me to send you the first chapter?

Therefore, it had fallen to Allura to do the job.

 It

was of no consequence to Tavion that Allura had

loudly

protested her given task; all that mattered was

that

it had to be done.  Allura had nearly taken off
Crimson's head when the human had openly

ridiculed

her; a lightsaber duel had broken out right there

in

the Disciple of Ragnos's main base.  It would

have

gone on for hours, the two females being about

evenly

matched, except for their leader's interference.
Although she usually enjoyed (and even encouraged

at

some points) such hostile displays of murderous
rivalry, at the time she had decided that there

was no

more time to be wasted.  With one powerful

lightning

Delete "With"

assault later, both of her disciples had been
instantly subdued.

Or "later". Either works.

She had no choice in the matter and finally

accepted

that, barring her Mistress, she was the only one
suitable for the job.

Which was why she was here right now.

Suppression of her Force aura inevitably

condemned her

mission to proceed at a very slow pace. 

Disliking

every second of it, Allura had to sneak into the

Jedi

Academy the old-fashioned way; no mind-tricks, no
Force enhanced speed or jumps, nothing that would
require use of the Force.  She had to rely on

hiding,

crawling, and generally trying her best not to be

seen

or heard.

One thing that made it a whole lot easier for her

was

the fact that Skywalker was foolish enough not to

post

sentries, or even not having more than the basic

or even have more

security system, one that hadn't been upgraded

ever

since Brakiss's stay a few years ago.

Brakiss' - no trailing s after the apostrophe.

Gotcha.

She shook her head in scornful disbelief.  As far

as

the Twi'lek was concerned, this was part of the

reason

why the Jedi were so easily deceived by Emperor
Palpatine during the death of the Old Republic. 

Their

teachings against guile, anger, hatred,

everything of

the Dark Side was a very significant weak spot in
their training.

Well mostly guile.

Do the Jedi really teach against guile, anyway?
True, you're not supposed to 
use your skills and talents for personal gain, but
they are taught to 
recognize when others are trying to do the same.

You've got a point there.  I've got to do some
research bout that...

SNIP the rest - while interesting, I think it's a
little too much exposition 
for right now, unless you're planning on turning
Akane back soon.

Hmmm.. that's a secret!

One complaint (minor): This is moving much too
slowly for my taste. The 
segment you've spent a prologue and two chapters on,
and will possibly not 
finish in the next chapter, takes all of five
minutes to play through in the 
game, which includes a couple of minutes' worth of
scripted cutscenes. Speed 
up a little, will you?

SP

I hear ya.  Pedal to the metal...sort of :D

PS: After only playing through the first three tier
one missions in the 
game, I want Rosh's head on a pike. Man, is he
annoying! 

Heh, you ain't the only one.  That's why he's the
comic relief and will be experiencing a good number of
bumps and knocks... Revenge is sweet..  

Any suggestions for what to do to him?

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Dave Wong

a.k.a. DarkWing
"Let's get dangerous"

Website: www.geocities.com/darksoar/start.html

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