--- Glazius Falconar <GlaziusFalconar@peoplepc.com> wrote:

Okay, I appreciate the need for culturally appropriate metaphor, but 
what the hell? The first image to come into my head needs "when the 
production line's rockin', don't come knockin'" appended to it 
somewhere. I think I get what he's trying to say ("like a film on 
fast-forward") and why he can't say it, but is something like "sped by 
in a blur" out of the context of this society?

Not really, but I wanted to use something else. :)

  

Okay, so he _could_ have just said "a film on fast-forward".

Not really; he's not very technically minded, and the notion that you can speed
up or slow down a film's rate of projection is foreign to him.

  

Well, it's not really that their operation is restricted to female 
civilians, so much as it's much less awkward for the CO to "keep up" his 
troops' "morale".

Somehow, I don't think Shrieve cares about the technicalities involved. :)

"What you propose is contrary to the laws of ... of nature, and of man,"
Charles said, quickly covering his near slip.
  

I know what he was trying to slip up at but it doesn't seem like he'd do 
it. I mean, actors in the black-and-white monster movies were fine with 
calling them "laws of nature".

Unless he was going to say "laws of Apollo" or something, in which case 
let him spit part of that out.

He was going to say "the laws of God and man." Being an atheist, that's a
no-no.

"For waht?" John interrupted sharply. "It's not like you were the one

invited

Ivan in to help out the GODDAMN CHINK BASTARDS NO OFFENSE XIANG!"
  

"the one who", right?

Nope. It's a Britishism.

>From one of the other beds, there issued a retort in Cantonese. Charles
recognized it as an invitation for John to consume faeces.
  

Okay, that little sequence made me chuckle.

Thanks. :)

"All right." Halsey's eyes defocused momentarily, as though she were

examining

something printed on the inside of her forehead. "You have a week. If you

can

produce concrete evidence supporting your hypothesis -- don't argue

terminology

with me, you've proposed an hypothesis and you know it -- we'll consider

what's

to be done.
  

I think it's "a hypothesis" unless you're very severely Cockney.

Actually, even in America, in the period described, it was "an historic
occasion". So "an hypothesis" is probably accurate too.

She looked Japanese.
  

Wait, Small Lady?

Got it without even seeing her eyes. :)

Have you given him a location for where he grew up? If not, then this is 
a little too generic to justify it. Pick somewhere with German 
immigrants and go for it.

He grew up in south-western Saskatchewan, as hinted by the reference to the
prairies back in chapter one. :)

"Experiment with the revivification of dead tissue, following in the

footsteps

of Fronkehnsteen?" Von Kroenen interjected, correctly pronouncing the

infamous

name.

Good work with the phonetics.

Actually, it's a reference to "Young Frankenstein".

"That will be just about enough of that," Dr. Halsey announced.

Weakly, Charles rolled up to get a look at his rescuers. 

It sounds like he's curling into a fetal ball. "Rolled over", maybe?

He was. It's the normal reaction to intense physical abuse.

A few moments later, a hideous scream echoed through the air, only to be
suddenly cut off. As Satariano began to quietly murmur a Hail Mary, Charles
found himself yearning for the opiate of the masses for the first time in
years.
  

Suitably brutal. Works for me.

Really? Geez, that's depressing.

I deliberately set out to make Shrieve as unlikable as possible, but I wanted
to have his death be a case of "Oh, God, nobody deserves *that*."

"Even though you want me to do something to you that could destroy your
personality, which is just as much a self-destruction?" Charles asked

bitterly.

Okay, I lied about stream-of-consciousness reviewing. I know that's what 
the side-effect turns out to be, but how does Charles know that's what 
it _is_?

Any brain surgery is fraught with peril. He knew that he could screw up and
cause that effect, but he didn't have a clue that he was going to have to
*choose* it as the lesser of two evils.

"How pleasant it is to meet you, Doctor," she said, and smiled ... somehow
making the facial expression look faintly horrific.
  

...that's a very nasty thing to do to an overactive imagination.

BRRRRR.

You're welcome. :)

   

The enemy of my enemy is _still_ somebody's enemy.

Sometimes, the enemy of my enemy ... is everyone's enemy.

I'm not sure about my mystic spelling. Is it "artefact" or does the i 
still apply to something of recent manufacture?

While I suspect I'd get an argument about it, "artifact" and "artefact" are
both valid spellings.

He was standing, now, on a gigantic "image" of John's body. With barely a
moment's thought, he created a dozen simulacra of himself to perform the

work

that had to be done on John's legs, arms, and spine, while he focused his
attention on the brain. For all that Savage, in particular, had done to
demystify it, the seat of consciousness remained the most delicate and
difficult organ to affect.
  

I have no idea what just happened but I can see it clearly. Nice work.

<shrug> The "virtual reality" concept has been around a lot longer than most
people think.

It tightened to the point where it severed the cord, killing the patient
instantly.
  

Oh dear.

------------------
Chapter Seventeen:
------------------

Should probably have expected something like that, Charles thought coolly.

All

right, then. 

He reversed the probe that he'd directed towards the circlet, which

expanded

again, and the spinal column returned to its normal state. Charles began to
examine the mechanics of the process, hoping to find out how the circlet

had

come into being.
  

What the-?

Gotcha.

   

Ah, the Citan Uzuki Prison Break Maneuver. Say no more.

The who what?

   

Wait. "Outside" like actual outside or "outside" like into the theater, 
or what? I have no idea how the gallery is connected to the rest of the 
base.

Architecture not Davies' skill.
 

You keep using that word.

Other people get p-o'd by my use of "non-sequitively", too.

 of the technicians made an adjustment to a cable that led into the armor's
neck brace. then turned to look up at the window. "I have just administered

the

antagonist to the anesthetic," a crackly version of Halsey's voice

announced as

it issued from the speaker on the gallery's wall. "He should regain
consciousness within a few minutes."
  

Is "antagonist" what you're looking for? 

Yes.

Also, is "anaesthetic" just a weird spelling variation?

Yes.

himself not to think about what he'd done, focusing on the conflict with
Kroenen. But now the consequences were being made plain to him, and the

guilt

that he felt was overpowering. John had trusted him to prevent this

procedure

from causing any changes to his personality. 

Did he really, or is Charles making that obligation up?

The former.

"Grandfather?" he asked.
  

Isn't that kind of a generic term for "old man"?

He doesn't know Japanese that well.

  

Okay, hang on a second. Nobody was willing to do this operation when it 
had unknown side-effects, but now that it's been adapted to only cause 
severe brain damage, surgeons will be lining up for a chance? What am I 
missing here?

The Master Chief was only willing to be subjected to the operation if Charles
did it; none of the other candidates have that stipulation.

Slowly, Charles made his way up the hill. He found himself freezing every

time

he heard a noise that couldn't be attributed to his own movements,

wondering

frantically whether his apparent freedom was all just some final, sadistic

game

that Halsey was playing.
  

He's not the only one.

Then I've done my job.

"Are you my appointment in Samara?" he asked.

She blinked a few times. "I'm sorry," she said, "but I'm not familiar with

that

particular idiom.

Neither am I. Was he going for "Shambala"?

Nope. Derived from an Arabian folk-tale where a man sees Death in the
market-place of his hometown, and flees to Samara ... which is exactly where
Death was expecting to pick him up.

Fighting? He hadn't fought. He hadn't done or felt anything as they were
separated. She'd fought like a wildcat, which wasn't too surprising, but it
hadn't made any difference in the end. Obviously, she was projecting her

own

strengths onto him. A very bad habit, this tendency of hers to see good in
people who didn't have any in them, but if what she'd seen in Shanghai

hadn't

cured her of it, then one more lecture from him wasn't going to do it

either.

Yep, he's suppressing his SMG rampage. Wait, sorry. His dual-Caster rampage.

He's censoring something, true.

Been a while since I've done one of these.
  

Well, aside from the noted bits, you don't seem all that rusty. Smoove 
ride, my homes.

Thank'ee, kind sir.

Chris Davies.


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