Glazius Falconar wrote:

Due diligence: I've only read the manga. Excuse any misinterpretations. 
Also, this isn't going to be in-depth because you've got your technical 
down. I'll just hit the bits that made me go "what?"
 

And I've only seen the Anime.  I have a feeling there's going to be lots 
of "what?" moments ahead.

GL Sandborn wrote:
 

    Tina groaned.  "What have I gotten myself into now?"
   

Welcome to Popcorn Action Movie Castle. I feel so blockbuster.

No, that's really the lens I'm viewing this through. A comedy spy movie, 
of which there have been some. Hoping this is what you intended.
 

It is.

    Maybe it had something to do with that 'thing' they were able to get from the enemy hideout.  Instinctively, he felt the spot on his suit that covered the tiny three inch long device that looked like a common USB flash memory drive.  What it really was caused him to shiver.
 
   

All the porn on the Internet, in convenient dongle form. Industrial 
production will grind to a halt!

"he felt around for the hidden pocket that contained" works a little 
better. And this thing needs a name, preferably containing some kind of 
Greek letter.

 

    The first gate he came to had a lock that would have taken C4 explosives to open.  A second, further along, was secured in such a way that even shooting the lock would have failed to open it.
    Cursing, he slammed his fist on the locked gate.  There didn't appear to be any point in following the fence line any further.  The kinds of locks he had seen so far indicated anything else he might find would probably be more of the same.  With a frustrated growl, he turned back towards the clearing.  It looked like they were trapped.
   

If he's just a linguist, how does he know so much about locks and 
explosives?
 

Trained agent?  I'm assuming his training would include something about 
explosives and locks.

Not sure how else you could justify this. Maybe a keycard lock on a 
reinforced steel gate?
 

Maybe a lock that looks like it dates back to the Meiji Era?

    Taking a deep breath, he quickly scurried to the relative cover of a
portable power generator.  When he saw the figure climbing into the crane's cab, he knew now was the best shot he was going to get.  He rose up, aimed and fired once.  True to his West Texas heritage, his aim was good.  The figure tottered for a moment before slumping forward.  The dead man's body must have released the winch mechanism.  With a loud 'crack', six tons of animal waste came hurtling earthward, directly towards his partner.
 
   

'crack' sounds like something broke. 'clank' or 'clang' maybe, and 
whatever sound a cable strong enough to hold up that much dung makes 
when it unwinds.
 

'clank' could work, followed by the 'hum of cable unspooling'.

::snip to end:: 
   

Nothing else that caught my eye. Part 1 over. Part 2 in progress.
 

Thanks for reading and responding.

- Greg

--GF

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