Juho Saarikko wrote:

Eva Lemon!

	This looks like a job for... C&C MAN!!! Quickly, Wisecrack Boy, to the 
CommentMobile!!!!!!

Asuka was overcome when she saw Misaki's lemons, so she attacked them
when she was not looking, but was quickly caught. Unfortunately, Asuka's
rought handling had already turned them all bumpy and swollen, so they
we4nt to ask help from Gendo, but he couldn't see anything from behind
the glint of his own glasses.

	SP:  we4nt

Unfortunately, Rei was just passing through and, when she saw Misaki's
lemons, she quickly squeezed the juice out of them into a glass and
gulped it down while her blood-red eyes glinted maniacally.

This was all too much for Shinji, who fainted.

	<snort>  fanon much?

Luckily, Gendo was able to summon help by sending "SOS" in morse with

	"morse" should be capped, IIRC.

glints from his glasses, so Rei who had gone into lemon-induced
overdrive got some other targets to soak with her now lemon-scented
juices than poor Asuka. Shinji, who had recovered, hoped that he hadn't

	ITYM "wished he hadn't"

when he saw what Rei did to Gendo. In a desperate attempt to forget he
and Asuka embraced each other like they never had before, and soon Rei
joined them. This caused some confusion, since Rei was still doing
unspeakable things to Gendo, until Shinji realized that this must be
another Rei clone that had just now spontaneously grown from her
lemon-scented juices that were all around Gendo's office at this point.

	Sug:  "spread all over Gendo's office"

Poor Misaki could only wail in horror looking at her lemons, which had
been squeezed dry by rampaging Rei. Then she decided that she could as
well get some of the taste herself, and went to lick Rei's lemon juices.
They turned into another Rei clone beneath her tongue, but she kept
licking anyway, noticing that this Rei had a pleasant lemon taste to her
skin. A few more Reis spontaneously generated and attended to Gendo's
security force, leaking more lemon juices in the process. Pretty soon
there were lemon-scented Reis everywhere, and the whole world became a
public fest of Rei-licking. Wars ended and everyone had a good time.
There was only one thing that could stop the general lemon-scented
merriment.

	Sug:  "one thing that might still threaten the general"
	So, does this mean that the canonical "orange goo" was actual a 
chromatological mistake translating between the 'heat' levels of 
Japanese PAL and American NTSC?  The whole world was supposed to go 
lemon during the 3rd Impact, and we American fans missed the 
all-too-clever Anno hint b/c the tint and hue were off?

Then the lemon fairy appeared and obliterated the forces attacking Earth
so the party would not be disturbed. And they all lived off of Rei's
lemon juices happily ever after, until the mass of all the Rei's became

	No apostrophe for Rei here -- she's not posessive.  Well, okay, she IS, 
but I mean the proper noun as used in this context.

so much that Earth collapsed into a black hole and exploded from
Hawking's radiation, spreading frozen droplets of Rei's lemon juices

	Hawking Radiation.

towards every unsuspecting world in the universe. Finally, the entire
universe collapsed from the collective mass of Rei's, and came to an end

	Reis, not Rei's

in the Big Crunch, but at least there was a lot of lemon-scented Rei's
to have fun with before that.

	And again.

The End.


And next to work on my fic "Pollen", the epic tragic story of forbidden
incestual love between Tsunami the tree and Funaho the tree, with
botanically correct lemon scenes - prudes and allergics beware ;).

	So, they do it with bees?
	(What? My dad's an apiarist -- I *know* about these things)



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