You know, there was a time when commenting on a fic two days after it had
been posted would be seen as a *quick* reply... ^_^;;

The times, they are a-changin'...or maybe not. Actually, two days IS still
pretty quick--it's just some of us don't have the excuse of jobs and
responsbilities, and don't get around to it because they're essentially
dicking off (my excuse for the delay in C&Cing Ronin Summer 7).

Sorry it took me so long to get to this, Lurker. It's been hell just

trying

to keep up with what's going on around here, lately. I am totally ready

now,

though - I've got half a tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark
out, and I'm wearing sunglasses. Let's roll. ;)

Whee!

"So...do you have a girl you like, Conan-kun?"

Oh, man, the question of doom. This one is up there with "How do I look in
this?"

Or "So, was that your sister, or what?"

I never get either one of those right. >_<

Heh.

The small, bespectacled boy blushed and put his hand behind his head.

"Eh,

maybe a little."

"You should tell her."

I doubt that would go as well as she seems to think it would, considering
what I know of this series... :)

Eh, it'd go better at this point than it would later...actually, after the
bath incident is about the point at which he's safer keeping his peace.

He looked up at her, and smiled a small, strange smile. "I think I will,

You don't really need a comma before that "and".

Probably not. I readily admit to being a habitual comma splicer.

maybe...as soon as I can." Then, he gave her a sly look. "What about you,
neechan? Do you like somebody? Maybe Shinichi-niichan?"

It might be the formatting, here, but you seem to be missing a space after
those ellipses.

Personal style. I don't space after ellipses unless at the end of a
sentence. I also don't type two spaces at the end of a sentence.

She walked on in silence for a moment before realising her young charge
wasn't following. "Conan-kun?"

The boy stood silently, just on the edge of a streetlight's glow, eyes

cast

downward.

That is a very powerful image, there. Kudos. ^_^

Wish I could take credit for it. Truthfully, EVERY BLASTED TIME Conan's on
the verge of outing himself to Ran, he does that "eyes-down,
glasses-reflecting-light" thing.

"You can't tell ANYONE, Shinichi. Not even Ran-kun. Nobody. They'd be in
danger..."

Okay, this threw me. For a second there, I thought this was Conan talking,
until I realised that he was calling Ran "Shinichi", which made no sense.

If

you're going to introduce a flashback, or something, you might want to
introduce it with some bumper text to make it clear what's going on.
Otherwise, readers might assume that the person talking here is the last
person who was mentioned, like I did.

Yeah, I see what you mean. I wrote this in one take, directly into the mail
client, without proofreading. That's my only excuse for this. ^_^;; If I
were to go back and actually edit it, which I probably will, I'd separate
that out with asterisks or something.

The small detective looked at the tall, cheerful girl walking slightly
ahead
of him, and sighed wearily. *It's better if she knows. I don't want her
involved in this, but...I know that idiot; if I just disappear without a
trace, she'll cry and act all sad and I just don't want that. And if

those

guys come after her, at least she'll be ready for it...*

I am not a huge fan of thought bubbles. That's just a personal thing.

That's your prerogative. Me, I'm obsessed with them. ^_^

They walked up to the building housing the Mouri Detective Agency and

<snerk> Mouri Detective Agency? There is a YST gag dying to be made, here.

Heh.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Barou! Who would have a stupid name like that?

I love shoot comments that aren't supposed to be shoot comments.... :)

Hee.

"Conan" removed his glasses and tossed them to her. She yelped and
struggled
to catch them without dropping them. "Mou, Conan-kun..." She blinked.
"Matte...there's no lenses in these."

<snerk> No lenses? Dude, at least Clark Kent bothered to have *actual
glasses*! Ran is now officially denser than LOIS LANE, and that takes
EFFORT. >_<

Well, the very first night Shinichi was Conan, there were no lenses. He
created the "disguise" on the spur of the moment out of a pair of reading
glasses from his dad's desk in the study. Since he couldn't walk straight
with the lenses, he popped them out and prayed nobody paid too much
attention. Within a couple days of becoming "Edogawa Conan", he got new
glasses with fake lenses from Agasa.

And to be fair, Ran's NOT as dense as Lois Lane. She actually does figure
out the truth on SEVERAL occasions, but Conan and his cadre of helpers keep
throwing her off the trail. However, each time, it becomes harder and harder
to completely shake her suspicions, and after the most recent stunt, she's
basically just waiting for him to slip up beyond repair.

"But...why...?"

"Because I screwed up. I'm a complete idiot. And now I'm gonna have to

act

like I'm really dead, and live a pretend life until I can get my real

body

back and take down the bastards that did this to me."

That's a disturbingly accurate description of his immediate future, right
there. I knew this kid was a smart one.

Yep. He's not the "Great Detective of the East" and the "Heisei-era Holmes"
for nothing.

He's also a very, VERY dangerous animal when cornered, threatened, or sees
someone he cares about in trouble. No matter WHAT size he is. (In fact, I
daresay he's far more dangerous as Conan than he is as Shinichi...)

Ran, however, seems to still be having trouble accepting reality. Not that

I

wouldn't, in her place, but seriously... there weren't even *lenses*? :)

heheheh.

Ran's eyes hardened suddenly. "You won't have to do it alone. I'll be
there."

"Oi, Ran...I don't want you involved."

"I mean, judging by this alone, any wanna-be assasins could get right by

you

with a rubber nose and a false moustache...."

*SNRK*

Suddenly, her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes widened. "Oh my

god...I

told you...on the way here..." Her face turned very red. "I said those
things..."

Shinichi turned red as well, and looked down and to the side. "Yeah,
well...when I said there's a girl I like...I meant you. You know that,
right?"

I wouldn't bet on it, Shinichi. She may need further explanation.

Hee.

Ran blinked. "Eh?"

"Suffocating...breasts..."

Now *that* has got to be one of the most interesting martial arts

techniques

I've ever seen... wasn't there a villainess in a James Bond movie who did
that?

It's the dreaded Oppai no Jutsu!

"Yeah...I just hope I don't get your or anybody else hurt because of my
stupid mistake."

"your" should be "you". Typing too fast, or trusting the dreaded spell
checker? I always get nailed by the latter, personally. ;)

Actually, typing too fast and not bothering to proofread since it was a
one-take fic. Which I normally don't do, but there you have it.

And so ended the first night of Shinichi's strange new life as a small

boy

named Edogawa Conan.

*But,* he mused as he drifted off to sleep in the arms of the girl he

loved

more than anything in the world, *at least I'm not alone...*

I've got to tell you, man, this thing might just require a WAFF tag if you
tossed in a little more exposition and description in it. The basic

emotion

is there, but it needs a little more polishing to really come out. All in
all, a very sweet little look into a series that does not get enough
coverage on the FFML. Personally, I would love to see some more Detective
Conan fics around. Then again, I spend a lot of time playing "Sleuth"
on-line, too, so maybe I am not the best person to ask. :)

Heh. I'd be ecstatic if we had a Conan explosion on the FFML. As it stands,
I'm pretty much the only Conan contributor here, and that's...kinda sad, all
things considered.

Good work, Lurker. Seriously good work.

Thanks!

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