Just then, Knives wandered past the porch, her blouse stretched taut
over her new, rather large breasts, her long skirt flaring just slightly
around her as she did a twirl.
"Does this make my ass look big?"
"... Creepy," Meryl muttered darkly.

*DIES*

"Hi, Mister Priest!" And, without breaking stride, she swept a very
shocked-looking Wolfwood up, put him over one shoulder, and carried him
up the porch steps and into the house.
"... Poor guy," Vash said solemnly, shaking his head.

Ouch.

Before Vash could answer, Knives swept up in a swirl of skirts and
perfume, clinging to Legato's arm. "Leggy!"
"Master?!" Legato blurted, looking distinctly shocked. "... 'Leggy'?"
"I'm so happy to see you! I've been so bored since, well, a week after
this happened. I learned a word called 'paizuri', let's try it."

OUCH! XD

"I'm the lemon fairy!" She waved her wand.
Suddenly, Vash and Meryl didn't care about 'why' anymore.

*DIES*

Meryl sighed a little as she looked at Milly. Her large friend was drunk
again, and in the mood to share.
"My first time," Milly hiccupped. "Was... with my big brother's... best
friend..."
"Hope your brother wasn't there too."

But he probably was.

Milly simply giggled, and took another swig from her glass. "How about
you, Meryl?"
Meryl's cheeks flushed as a sudden remembrance of her father's automatic
rifle came to mind... the butt had been rubber-padded, the ammo clip
full, and after feeling it shake in her hands, she'd gotten the idea to-

O_o;;

- Mother -

They could never know just how the two young Plants had come to be on
the ship. Why she had fought so hard for them. Even Vash could never
know just why she turned a blind eye to the way Knives was obviously
disturbed. A human mother couldn't kill a child for being disturbed...
neither could she. She hoped someday all of them... the crew, their
descendants, and perhaps most heartbreakingly, Vash himself, could
forgive her for leaving them the legacy that was Knives.
Sighing, Rem turned back to the mirror, carefully applying the hair dye
to her blonde roots.

That would've explained a lot.

- Prophetic -

Legato gazed evenly out at the sands, waiting for Vash to arrive. It was
hard not to let his mind wander, wander to the past he would be saying
goodbye to as he gave his life for his master. The other path not taken.
He could have been famous at what he did. The best that this pathetic
dustball had ever seen. They would have screamed for him, instead of at
his approach. He could still hear the words of his mentor...
"Honestly, Legato, you throw that damn baseball so hard, one of these
days your arm's gonna fall off!"

*TWITCH*

- Knives in Hell -

He had caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands. In fact, he had
attempted to commit a certain amount of genocide. He had twisted and
destroyed lives, played with emotions, and in all had been the most
horrible person, man, and the absolute worst brother one could imagine.
Still, as he continued to pound his feet on the flashing dance pad,
listlessly watch the arrows slide up the screen, and the music repeat
itself endlessly (he guessed he was on roughly the two thousandth repeat
of the chirpy techno song)...
... He had to wonder what he'd done to deserve this.

XD

- Love's End -

"I used to adore you. There was nothing that could take your place,
nothing that could make me feel the way you do.
"But we had one night too many together. I guess that's what it is,
that's the only way to say it. All that night it was just us, again and
again. I'd just had too much of you inside me, that's the only way I can
say it. I couldn't look at you anymore, you just made me sick.
"It's over. I don't love you anymore."
Sighing heavily, Milly sadly threw the pudding cup in the trash.

Awwww.

- Sex, Lies, and Literalists -

"I'm not sleeping with Wolfwood," Meryl murmured, one hand tucked
behind her back, her cape hiding her crossed fingers.
"And I'm not sleeping with Meryl," Wolfwood added, patting out a small
cigarette-burn fire on his pants.
"And Milly and I aren't sleeping together," Vash panted.
Both Wolfwood and Meryl blinked and looked over. Milly was on her back
on the table, her long skirt pushed up her panties dangling from one
booted ankle, feet swaying up and down in the air as Vash pounded into
her, both of their faces gleaming with sweat.
"Does this look like sleeping?" Milly cooed.

H_H

Vash smiled into the dark as he felt the trim little body slide into bed
with him. He ran his hands up her back, and heard her sigh. He slipped
his hands through the soft, short hair, and started to untie her headband.
... Wait, headband?
She, too, had stopped, upon finding the grating on his chest rather than
simply scars.
Vash clicked on the light, and stared into Yuffie's face.
"... You're not Meryl."
"And you're not Squall."
They stared at each other for a moment, then both grimaced.
"The studio switched set assignments again!"
"God dammit, I never get memos!"

@_@;;

- Laundry Day -

�Vash!� Meryl stormed into the room. Her normally immaculate white cape
was a swirl of pinks and reds, like tie-dye. �You threw your coat in
with my whites and Milly�s! Look at this!� Meryl flipped her cape back.
�I look like I�m about to join a sandweed-smoker commune!� She blinked
as Vash got a big goofy look on his face, then growled, �Stop picturing
me in a free love orgy!�

XD

�Er, sorry. ... Wait, Milly�s whites? Milly doesn�t wear white.�
�Mr. Vash!� Milly walked in, wearing tie-dyed bra and panties. �Look
what you did!�
Vash clapped a hand over his nose.

H_H

Vash glowered in distaste at the room around him. It was plastered with
wallscrolls from X/1999, and Anne Rice novels littered the floor. He
kicked aside a hardcopy printout of a story involving a vampiric Severus
Snape having sex with a kittenish Draco Malfoy with one bloodstained
boot. Now where was...? There. A shuddering sound from beneath the
computer desk.
He stalked over, grabbing the edge the desk and upturning it, sending
the pink iMac named "Shinigami" tumbling. Smiling in vengeful glee at
the cowering teenage girl he'd revealed, he brought his revolver up.
"How's this for some hardcore penetration?"

THIS WINS THE INTERNET.

Vash the Stampede had faced many, many deadly men. Men who could rend
air and earth with sound, men who could twist the bodies of others into
his unwilling tools of death. Vash had fought countless strange and
powerful men.
And yet, he knew that the man he faced now could be his death, more than
any other. Was more dangerous, more wicked. There he stood, across the
room, illuminated by nothing but a pair of candles, the light glinting
from his shaven head. Broad hands rose, hovered over the candle flames.
"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?"

Oh god, Vash versus Riddick...no planet would survive that. XD

Vash panted heavily, tasting blood every time he exhaled. The ammo in
his arm was exhausted. His coat and shirt were shredded. The metal
grating on his chest had been ripped off and shoved in his shoulder.
Perhaps worst of all, his glasses were bent at a ninety degree angle,
ruined.
Riddick was sitting across from him, slumped against a wall the same
way. One side of his goggles was busted. One of his hands was obviously
broken. One of his teeth was obviously gone, the hole bleeding. A chunk
of one ear was missing, and oozing.
"... Truce?"
"... Yeah, whatever."

Wow, it only takes THAT for them to stop?

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