Dragonboy: Haven't read a scrap of Trigun in months. This should be good.
Stiel: Never read a one of 'em ever. Let's change that, shall we?
Dragon-Stiel Inc. Presents: A C&C/MST review for-
Shorts Drawer
A series of Trigun mini-fics
by Rann Aridorn
Thought I'd dig some of them up and post them in a little collection,
just to generate some traffic that's NOT part of the big discussion.
(Though I wish DB weren't banned, one of the few C&Cs I could count on
was his.)
Dragonboy: We're certainly no DB, but we'll do our best to fill the void.
- Motivation -
Knives really has nothing against humanity, per se.
Stiel: Nothing that a good, long, heavily-guarded solitary confinement
couldn't fix, anyway.
Sure, a lot of them
are assholes, but then, there's the old adage that ninety percent of
everything is shit. They'd have been tolerable.
Dragonboy: Kinda like fanfictions, right? ;)
But there's one thing Knives can't stand. One thing that has to be done,
one way or another. Seeming to hate humanity, to want to destroy it,
hell, even going ahead and destroying it. Because some things you just
can't DO directly, it's not as simple and easy as pulling a trigger or
plunging a blade.
Because Knives can't stand to be copied. Because he must be unique.
Dragonboy: Thankfully, we caught your explaintion for this, so it makes
more sense now.
- Bounty Claimed -
�Sorry, dad. Life�s expensive, and being poor�s a real pain.�
He knew, but this sucks pretty hard anyway.
Dragonboy: Startling, but sadly a truth to the evil power of money.
Stiel: Might consider changing the last sentence to "He knew, but it
sucked..." just to make the tense of it a little smoother.
- Changes [1] -
"It's creepy," Meryl muttered darkly.
"Lots of Earth species do it," Vash replied, rocking his chair back and
forth a little. All the same, he sounded a bit unsure of himself.
"'Lots'?"
"Well. Some. Frogs. Things like that."
Stiel: This I might change to something like "Well...some. Frogs...things
like that." or something similar to avoid the multiple one-word sentences.
Just then, Knives wandered past the porch, her blouse stretched taut
over her new, rather large breasts, her long skirt flaring just slightly
around her as she did a twirl.
"Does this make my ass look big?"
"... Creepy," Meryl muttered darkly.
Dragonboy: Heh.
Stiel: Ditto.
- Wolfwood's Return [2] -
"Wolfwood?!" Vash yelped, jaw agape.
"You're... alive!" Meryl added, in a squeak.
Dragonboy: The comma after 'added' can probably be taken out.
"Hi, Mister Priest!" And, without breaking stride, she swept a very
shocked-looking Wolfwood up, put him over one shoulder, and carried him
up the porch steps and into the house.
"... Poor guy," Vash said solemnly, shaking his head.
Stiel: Fortunately, he was never a very good priest to begin with. ;)
- Legato, Too [3] -
"Legato," Vash growled. "You're back too?!"
Dragonboy: YAY!
"... So it would seem," Legato replied evenly, despite looking a bit
confused. He looked at himself, then up at Vash on the porch. "But as to
why, I..."
Before Vash could answer, Knives swept up in a swirl of skirts and
perfume, clinging to Legato's arm. "Leggy!"
Vash: Actually, that's his arm.
"Master?!" Legato blurted, looking distinctly shocked. "... 'Leggy'?"
"I'm so happy to see you! I've been so bored since, well, a week after
this happened. I learned a word called 'paizuri', let's try it."
"I, I, I-!"
Vash watched Knives drag Legato into the house. "... Heaven, or Hell...?"
Stiel: Depends. What the hell does paizuri mean??
- First Times -
Milly simply giggled, and took another swig from her glass. "How about
you, Meryl?"
Meryl's cheeks flushed as a sudden remembrance of her father's automatic
rifle came to mind... the butt had been rubber-padded, the ammo clip
full, and after feeling it shake in her hands, she'd gotten the idea to-
"Y'know, Milly, let's talk about something else."
"Aww, phooey. Fine."
Dragonboy: In the interest of good reasoning, I won't make the joke.
Stiel: I, however, have no such inhibitions, and would like to say two
words: Dangerous Discharge.
- Mother -
They could never know just how the two young Plants had come to be on
the ship. Why she had fought so hard for them. Even Vash could never
know just why she turned a blind eye to the way Knives was obviously
disturbed. A human mother couldn't kill a child for being disturbed...
neither could she. She hoped someday all of them... the crew, their
descendants, and perhaps most heartbreakingly, Vash himself, could
forgive her for leaving them the legacy that was Knives.
Sighing, Rem turned back to the mirror, carefully applying the hair dye
to her blonde roots.
Dragonboy: You know, I suspected as much myself once, even though it was
never implied, it just seemed to fit, ya know?
- A Sexy Song -
Second, by the exotic woman dancing. She had a patch over one eye. Her
body undulated with uncanny fluidity. She was also yanking her blouse
open and sliding it off her shoulders, doing a twirl and tossing it
aside, leaving her clad in frilly purple bra and panties, boots, and
cowboy hat.
"Midvalley! When I figure out how you're doing this!"
Dragonboy: Since that isn't a complete sentence the way it's written, it
would be better to end it with a "...!" or a "-!"
- Knives in Hell -
He had caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands. In fact, he had
attempted to commit a certain amount of genocide. He had twisted and
destroyed lives, played with emotions, and in all had been the most
horrible person, man, and the absolute worst brother one could imagine.
Still, as he continued to pound his feet on the flashing dance pad,
D&S: *Facefault*
listlessly watch the arrows slide up the screen, and the music repeat
itself endlessly (he guessed he was on roughly the two thousandth repeat
of the chirpy techno song)...
... He had to wonder what he'd done to deserve this.
Stiel: Give the poor guy a break. At least he didn't SUCCEED in killing
Vash or wiping out humanity. What would be the punishment if he HAD?
- Love's End -
"But we had one night too many together. I guess that's what it is,
that's the only way to say it. All that night it was just us, again and
again. I'd just had too much of you inside me, that's the only way I can
say it. I couldn't look at you anymore, you just made me sick.
"It's over. I don't love you anymore."
Sighing heavily, Milly sadly threw the pudding cup in the trash.
Dragonboy: Oh, the heartbreak! *sob*
- Sex, Lies, and Literalists -
"I'm not sleeping with Wolfwood," Meryl murmured, one hand tucked
behind her back, her cape hiding her crossed fingers.
"And I'm not sleeping with Meryl," Wolfwood added, patting out a small
cigarette-burn fire on his pants.
"And Milly and I aren't sleeping together," Vash panted.
Both Wolfwood and Meryl blinked and looked over. Milly was on her back
on the table, her long skirt pushed up her panties dangling from one
Dragonboy: Put a comma between 'up' and 'her'
- Strange Love -
Stiel: Isn't it always? ;)
They're very strange about it.
She pretends to be fixated only on her job. And she faked her own death,
rather elaborately at that. They sneak around like they're ashamed of
each other. They rarely exchange kind words, there's not much in the way
of candlelit dinners or presents exchanged on special days.
There's a lot of kink going on here, too. If one were to be an observer
(and not die of the nosebleed), one would assume that they do not make
love, they fuck.
Dragonboy: Change , to :
Stiel: (to D-boy) You're worried about grammar at a time like this?
- Switched Sets -
Vash clicked on the light, and stared into Yuffie's face.
"... You're not Meryl."
"And you're not Squall."
They stared at each other for a moment, then both grimaced.
"The studio switched set assignments again!"
"God dammit, I never get memos!"
Stiel: I don't know if it was intentional or not, but Yuffie and Squall are
in two different FFs.
Dragonboy: Still funny, though.
- Laundry Day -
�Vash!� Meryl stormed into the room. Her normally immaculate white cape
was a swirl of pinks and reds, like tie-dye. �You threw your coat in
with my whites and Milly�s! Look at this!� Meryl flipped her cape back.
Dragonboy: It would probably sound better as "...with mine and Milly's
whites!"
�I look like I�m about to join a sandweed-smoker commune!� She blinked
as Vash got a big goofy look on his face, then growled, �Stop picturing
me in a free love orgy!�
�Er, sorry. ... Wait, Milly�s whites? Milly doesn�t wear white.�
Stiel: Not anymore, she doesn't. ^_^
- Worthy Foes -
And yet, he knew that the man he faced now could be his death, more than
any other. Was more dangerous, more wicked. There he stood, across the
room, illuminated by nothing but a pair of candles, the light glinting
>from his shaven head. Broad hands rose, hovered over the candle flames.
"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?"
Dragonboy: I have to admit I didn't catch this until I read the next one.
- Elbow Room [Hellsing] -
Dragonboy: Never seen Hellsing, but but nice job with it anyway.
Final Thoughts
Dragonboy: Nicely done. Loved 'Knives in Hell', 'A Sexy Song' and 'Laundry
Day'. Even the few that I didn't catch onto right away were well written,
and the simple fact that it was Trigun (sans the last one) was a nice
change, as well. Great job.
Stiel: My first Trigun fic/s was/were excellent. Good humor, twists, and
gratutitous sex (or suggested sex, anyway). Even the few
grammar/punctuation bits that we pointed out can be easily overlooked (some
might not even be right on our part. If so, our bad). Overall, nice work
and try to get some more out if you're able.
--
Dragon-Stiel Inc.
Ten years behind the times, but writing just to spite you!
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